Bug Abuse? I Swear I'm Just Playing Normally!
Ch. 27 - Mario Coins and the Mushroom Shop

Boom!

Almost instantly, Wang Jian pulled a skull from his pocket.

The moment the skull appeared, it began to emit a terrifying wail.

Wuuuu… sob…uuuu

Tears turned into blood.

As soon as Wang Jian saw the blood tears, he hastily stashed the skull away. Glancing at the now-vanished entity outside his door, he finally let out a sigh of relief and quickly shut the door.

That was careless—he’d wasted a skull for nothing. Wang Jian’s expression darkened. He had dug that skull up in a graveyard during his last dungeon run, which he barely survived. He’d gotten three in total, but his girlfriend had demanded two of them, threatening to break up if he didn’t comply.

Now, he was down to the last one, and it was gone too.

It wasn’t a proper paranormal item, just a knockoff imitation. It had limited uses. The skull’s weeping released a curse that repelled entities, but once it cried blood, that meant its life span was up. Forcing it past that point could cause the curse to backfire and awaken something worse.

All because he’d been too worried about his girlfriend… and got fooled.

Wang Jian deeply regretted it.

…

Meanwhile, Bai Wan was reading a manga—something he’d brought from the real world.

Before entering the dungeon, he’d figured sleeping would be impossible or unsafe, so he brought a manga along. It was an older series: Dragon Ball. Sometimes it was nice to revisit classics.

At first, he was thoroughly enjoying it. But then, when the characters in the panels suddenly began moving, and Piccolo started brawling with Goku inside a single panel—joined by Master Roshi—he grew speechless. Soon, all the characters gathered into that one frame, leaving the rest of the pages blank.

Bai Wan wearily closed the manga. It had been funny the first time, but now he was numb.

I just want to read a normal comic!

Don’t just casually adapt yourself into an anime! And don’t randomly migrate across panels!

Can’t you at least show some respect for page layout?! Think of its feelings, damn it!

Lying on the bed, drained, Bai Wan wondered when he’d ever get to read in peace again.

Then—he heard a sound outside the door.

Bai Wan immediately sat up and peered through the gap under the door. He saw a pair of feet.

The doorknob began to rattle.

Once.

Twice…

The force was growing.

At this rate, it was only a matter of time before the entity outside forced its way in.

But Bai Wan didn’t panic. He calmly got out of bed, pulled out a portable toilet from his pocket—something from the Skeleton Shop that he’d asked Liu Tong for before the dungeon. Next, he took out a hose and connected it to the toilet. Finally, he opened a bottle of mineral water and poured it in. 

Just like that, a makeshift plumbing setup was complete.

He tested it by reaching in—and was delighted when his hand slipped right through. Just as he’d hoped: a DIY pipe could serve as a portal to the Mario Coin Room.

This idea had come to him thanks to the cryptic messages that had randomly appeared on his ceiling during a nap two days ago.

Lines like:

This novel is still young. Let’s see how this goes.

Bug abuse-themed comedy? Rare. Not bad.

That typo rate is insane.

Chapters are too short and floppy.

If the MC carries a sewer pipe around, can he access the Coin Room anytime?

…

It was all nonsense—but given how often Bai Wan experienced bugs, he was used to it.

He hadn’t been able to make sense of the messages… but they had inspired him.

Why not bring my own pipe? Wouldn’t that work?

And it did. 

With a personal escape route into the Coin Room, Bai Wan wasn’t afraid anymore. Feeling annoyed at the continued rattling of his doorknob, he grew irritated.

Goddamn it, another rude freak. Who the hell shakes someone’s doorknob in the middle of the night? No manners at all.

Growing more annoyed, Bai Wan marched to the door, took out a hammer, and swung it downward.

“Damn you! Ten toes, one hammer—Strike!”

Wham!

The hammer smashed into the foot outside the door.

Then Bai Wan bolted, intending to flee into the Coin Room. But glancing back, he noticed the entity was still fiddling with the knob.

Huh? It still can’t get in?

Curious, he came back and started dancing in front of the door.

“Hey, freaky thing outside—enjoy my moves!”

“Left three turns, right three turns, wiggle your neck and shake your butt!”

“Oppa Gangnam Style! Heyyyyy~”

As he danced, three pitch-black paranormal coins rolled in under the door.

Bai Wan beamed.

Well damn. A tip? I thought entities weren’t NPCs, but clearly I was wrong!

Encouraged, he danced harder—and earned a total of five coins, worth 50 Paranormal Coins. A solid profit.

Meanwhile, the doorknob was being twisted more violently than ever, as if the entity outside was furious. Which made sense. After all, it had been hammered in the foot and then forced to watch an inexplicable dance. Even the most civilized of paranormal entities would lose its temper.

Seeing the tantrum brewing, Bai Wan wisely retreated and dove into the toilet.

Whoosh!

He felt himself sucked into the pipe—and then landed in his familiar Mario Coin Room. But it had changed. Now, the ceiling sparkled with countless floating gold coins.

Eyes wide with wonder, Bai Wan leapt onto one of the hovering brick platforms and reached out to touch a coin.

Ding!

The coin vanished, and a message popped up: [+1 Coin].

Not bad.

He moved around collecting more. After grabbing all the easy ones, he looked to the harder-to-reach spots, but decided to check out something else first.

In one corner stood a vending machine-like object. Investigating it, he discovered it was the newly unlocked Mushroom Shop. Various odd items were on display.

[Mushroom Shop]

Description: A mysterious store that appears only in Mario’s sewer. Accepts only Mario Coins.

Current Stock:

Mario Travel Pass

Effect: Grants unlimited access to the sewer in this dungeon. Duration still capped at 10 minutes per entry.

Cost: 10 Mario Coins

Mario Time Card

Effect: Adds 5 minutes of sewer access time.

Cost: 5 Mario Coins

Mega Mushroom

Effect: Temporarily enlarges the player, boosts jump power, and allows stomp-kills on entities. Lasts 1 minute.

Cost: 40 Mario Coins

Large Sun Mushroom

Effect: Feeds it to a sunflower to grant massive sunlight. Currently out of stock—delivered two days after purchase.

Original price: 100 Coins. Newbie deal: 30 Coins.

Note: Stock is randomized every refresh. If you see something you want, buy it now—it may vanish next time.

Bai Wan’s eyes lit up. The sale item especially caught his interest.

The Large Sun Mushroom was exactly what he needed for his sunflower—the only downside was the delivery delay.

He currently had 42 Mario Coins, enough to buy the Large Sun Mushroom and the Travel Pass, both high-value picks.

He spent 40 coins.

A card with Mario’s face appeared in his hand.

The Sun Mushroom entered a countdown—delivery in two days. By then, his sunflower would be ready to shine.

The remaining stock also looked great, especially the Mega Mushroom, which allowed him to stomp ghosts flat. A must-have.

Looking up at the harder-to-reach coins, Bai Wan figured he’d grab those next. 

But then his eyes drifted toward the sewer exit on the other side of the room.

Last time, the ghost ship’s sewer exit led to the captain’s room. What about now?

Feeling curious—and knowing he could return anytime—Bai Wan stepped into the pipe.