(BL)Alpha Made
Chapter 210: An elder’s suggestion

Chapter 210: An elder’s suggestion

"He found your hotel room?" May repeated and Andrew swallowed, nodding. He rubbed his thumb nervously against the glass of orange juice.

"Yeah. I couldn’t remember the name of it, but he seemed to know where I was after I explained a little bit. I honestly didn’t expect him to show up." Andrew furrowed his brows. "Maxwell...behaved as if nothing had happened. It was...I wasn’t sober, admittedly, and I had ordered more booze to arrive around the time that he came over. I..." Andrew exhaled, finally putting the glass of orange juice onto the table before he covered his face with his hands. They were cold from the orange juice, but it was soothing.

Thinking back to the conversation still hurt him greatly. It was hard to speak past the tension in his throat. It wasn’t even a lump, his body didn’t want to speak about it.

May’s hand touched his shoulder, patting him slowly.

"It’s okay, Andrew. Take your time." She murmured. Andrew shook his head.

"He didn’t apologise. He said he had waited up for me to come home so that we could talk about it. He thought I needed...more space. It felt...how could he know me for so long but not know me?" Andrew finally voiced the part of him that had spiraled after Maxwell had left. "I know what he needs, but how could he not?" Andrew gulped in air, his chest heaving as he got worked up. "He said I was work, that he had to put in work to be with me. I don’t...I don’t think I’ve ever heard him say that he loves me, May. It felt like...it felt like every word out of his mouth was designed to hurt me." Andrew was panting, his breath coming fast and quick.

"Breathe, Andrew. Take a deep breath in, deep breath out." Andrew listened to May, as she guided him through breath regulation. He was working himself up, and he wasn’t sure what the outcome would be if he got too worked up, but appreciated May calming him down.

May looked him over, her expression firm, but not angry as Andrew continued breathing slowly. She was clearly checking to see if he was okay, and Andrew appreciated it. He didn’t feel okay in the slightest.

"Did he say anything else, Andrew, or is that all you remembered?" Andrew’s face screwed up as he tried not to cry.

"He said he didn’t want to break up." Andrew told her quietly and May closed her eyes for a moment, and then exhaled.

"Well, considering how hungover you are, I will take your story with a grain of salt, but to me, Andrew, it sounds like you two have different communication methods, and that you two have different ways to deal with difficult situations." May said slowly, carefully. Andrew sniffed, but didn’t say anything as May stared at him. "To me, it sounds like Maxwell tried to give you space in the same way that he would want if something like this happened but the positions were reversed." Andrew frowned.

"But I’m not him." Andrew complained and May chuckled.

"I am aware. You aren’t a short, angry omega who isn’t used to not getting their way." Andrew didn’t like that May referred to him that way, and from the look on her face when he glanced up at her, she knew that too. She smirked. "You can’t argue with me about this. You agree with me, and also, if you two are broken up, why would you care if I spoke negatively about him? He’s the one who hurt you, Andy. You should be angry with him." Andrew opened his mouth, closed it, before attempting to speak again.

"It doesn’t work like that." Andrew protested. "I am allowed to get upset if someone speaks poorly of him. I still like him, even if he thought I was..." Andrew trailed off, and finally the tears began to fall. He covered his face again, his shoulders shaking as he sobbed. "I just wanted to support him. How did this get so twisted?" Andrew sobbed and May sighed, coming in and hugging him against her chest. Andrew reached out, clinging to her as she patted his back.

"It’s okay Andy. It’ll be okay." May murmured while Andrew buried his face in her stomach. May just held him, letting Andrew shake and sob. This was what he didn’t know he needed, and it felt good to cry like this.

But it was after he had finished sobbing into May’s arms that the guilt started to creep in. Andrew felt bad that he had taken up her time, and had cried so aggressively. May, noticing Andrew’s switch, immediately squeezed him tightly.

"Don’t you dare open that mouth and apologise to me, or I swear your Mother is going to have to turn her gaze away as I get angry at you." May warned, and Andrew sniffed. He pulled away, noticing the giant wet spot on her apron and he made a face. He felt like he was going to cry again.

"I didn’t-"

"Shut your mouth, Andrew. I mean it." May glanced around the room, before she let Andrew go and grabbed her chair, pulling it over so that she could sit down, but still remain close to Andrew. She took his hand in hers, reaching across the table to grab some napkins she had placed there and began to clean up his face like he was a kid again. Andrew made a face, but May didn’t stop her expression soft. "Doesn’t matter the age, hmm? You are still a big cry baby." May mused, and Andrew hated that.

He had only become more of a cry baby after he had manifested. Before then, he’d been okay. Rarely cried. Never cried. Andrew sniffed and May chuckled.

"You hate that I said that, don’t you?" She teased, before the humour faded from her eyes and she stared at him. "Andrew, I think...well, I’m not sure, but...I think Maxwell is just terrible at communication." She said and Andrew blinked several times.

"Terrible...at communication?" He repeated, and May nodded. She seemed slightly hesitant as she continued to speak, while Andrew felt like he was reeling.

Maxwell? His Maxwell? Terrible at communication? He was just having a hard time believing that. So far the man had been great at it, almost alarmingly so. He had been able to make Andrew feel safe and secure, explained things in ways that he could understand, all of that. So it would make sense that for Andrew he would believe that Maxwell’s words, and his actions, had been meant to hurt him. Of course he would think that.

May, noticing the shock on Andrew’s face, sighed.

"Andy, Maxwell comes from a family that at least outwardly has to be perfect. I’m sure you understand that much without knowing how big the Beckett family is." Andrew nodded. "So it’s no surprise to me that Maxwell tries his best to be perfect, in all aspects. His parents are probably the same. Have you..." She seemed hesitant to say it. "Have you noticed that Maxwell has a rough patch with any of his family members?" She asked and Andrew swallowed.

"He has a hard time with his whole family, actually. He thinks that they want to force him into a small little box but from what I’ve seen they are just worried about him. They kept trying to set him up with alphas so that he would settle down." Andrew told her and May sighed.

"That...well, I can’t agree with their methods, but I can understand wanting your children to be secure. It does explain a bit of what happened." Andrew stared at her, not sure what she meant. May looked at Andrew. "Andy, Maxwell doesn’t like to give up control, does he?" Andrew swallowed.

"No, not really." He muttered. "I don’t mind that, honestly, it’s just..." He trailed off and May gave his hand a squeeze.

"You don’t need to explain it to me. I watched you grow up. You’re a good kid, and I don’t think your words or actions came from a place where you were trying to undermine him. You’ve never been that kind of man, beta or alpha, and I just can’t see you changing so rapidly after manifesting. Manifesting doesn’t change who you are as a person, just other parts of you. Your personality wouldn’t shift just because you manifested unless you always wanted to be an asshole." Andrew snorted, shaking his head at May’s words.

"No thank you." Andrew replied and May smiled.

"Exactly, so I don’t think you did anything wrong at first. I will say this, and this isn’t a harsh criticism, but communication goes both ways. If you wanted to speak with Maxwell Andrew, you could have messaged him first." Andrew froze. He honestly hadn’t even considered it, and from May’s expression, she had a feeling. She gave his hand a squeeze. "It’s okay. I’m not mad, I just wanted to point out that you could have reached out to him as well. If he didn’t respond then, well, it’s not your fault at that point. He is being a jerk." May’s expression grew complex as she thought over what to say next.

"I think, Andy, that Maxwell, whether knowing it or not, has been trying to...make sure he’s perfect for you." Andrew didn’t know what to say to that as May continued, rushing over her words. "I don’t think it’s done fully intentionally, but I have noticed that he tried to be perfect. Perfectly supportive, showing that he cares about you and wants the best for you. Being the perfect shoulder to lean on, all of it. You don’t like hospitals Andrew. I know this, and it wouldn’t take a genius to figure that out. Hell, you might not even like doctors." May hesitated again. "And I am sure that it must have been a stressful situation for Maxwell as well. Doctor visits aren’t easy things, not when things are going wrong with your body. I don’t know Maxwell that well, but I don’t think it’s a leap to say that he could have been stressed out too, but wasn’t showing it." Andrew felt his eyes widen.

Maxwell had behaved as if nothing was wrong. That everything was fine, perfect actually. He had been supportive of Andrew’s concerns, but hadn’t voiced any of his own. Andrew swallowed as May opened his eyes.

"I can’t say I know the truth, since I wasn’t there and I can’t see into his head, but maybe...he was surprised that you spoke up for him and reacted impulsively, and because he was so caught up in his own hurt, he didn’t realise what he had done. I can’t agree with it, obviously, since you are my priority, but I remember times when I used to be prickly like that. I can see some of his reactions in things I’ve done before, and how I’ve hurt Ford before." Andrew was surprised to hear it, but May continued on. "With that being said, the lack of communication after...he’s an idiot." Andrew grew defensive, but May held up a hand, silencing him.

"Andrew, you can’t tell me that you weren’t severely hurt and thought that your relationship was over simply because Maxwell didn’t reach out to you, can you?" Andrew held his tongue and May smirked. "You’ve always been a little similar to Ford. Sensitive, always hyper aware of things. That isn’t a criticism, not in the slightest, but it does mean that sometimes your mind can wander off. It’s a worry, since you can jump to conclusions on your own, like you did." She reached out, pinching his nose lightly. "But, if it’s like you say, and that you are Maxwell’s first real relationship, he doesn’t even know how to apologise properly, or even how to traverse all of this. He may seem like he has this all together, Andy, but he’s lying." May’s gaze softened as she stared at the shocked expression of Andrew.

"You...you seem so sure of what you’re saying." Andrew mumbled, and May laughed.

"It’s from personal experience, that’s why. Ford and I almost broke up a few times because of my stubbornness, and I would rather not have the same thing happen to you if you really care about him." Andrew’s heart squeezed.

"So...you don’t think that he wants to break up with me?" Andrew asked and May stared at him. She didn’t say his worry was stupid, and searched his face for a moment.

"Andrew, he said he didn’t want to break up with you, didn’t he? What kind of expression did he have when he said that? Can you remember?" His head pulsed, but Andrew thought back to Maxwell. It was a bit blurry but...

"He looked...desperate." Andrew muttered. "It was surprising, actually. I hadn’t seen him like that before." Andrew said and May gave his hand a squeeze.

"Well, I would take it that the shell cracked a bit. His perfect little life shifted, and he didn’t like it. Hmm. Alright." May got up, letting go of Andrew’s hand before she headed for the seating room. Curious about what she was up to, Andrew watched her. She came back a few moments later with a letter in hand. She handed it over.

"What is this?" Andrew asked as he stared at the bulging envelope. May sighed.

"It’s from Maxwell. Your phone got destroyed during your...episode, and Richard suggested that Maxwell should write you a letter. Depending on your feelings while you talked about him, I was going to either hand this to you or dispose of it. So, I suggest you go to the living room, get comfortable, and read it at your leisure. Given the size of it, I can only imagine what he’s put in there to try and keep you by his side."

Andrew felt his eyes water again as he stared at the paper in his hands. It was thick, good quality paper, but he could tell that it was hastily sealed. Andrew imagined Maxwell sitting at his big desk writing this out and his heart ached.

"Should I read this?" He mused out loud and May sighed.

"It’s up to you. We’ll support you no matter what, Andy, but if I could give you some advice?" Andrew looked up from the envelope to meet her gaze. "You look like shit. You behaved like shit, and you went on a tear at the mere thought of breaking up with him. I suggest you read the letter, and see what he has to say. And remember what I said. He’s trying to be perfect, but you don’t need that. He doesn’t need that either. A relationship is built on trusting each partner in it, and Maxwell had a rude awakening that you are his partner and reacted poorly. You can forgive him if you want, but you need to make it clear that that kind of behaviour can’t stand. I don’t know what would have caused that, but I would nip it in the bud as soon as possible." May told him before she began to clean up the table.

Andrew remained seated for a while longer, staring at the envelope in his hand.

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