(BL)Alpha Made
Chapter 208: You are my son

Chapter 208: You are my son

"You win." Andrew mumbled, but May didn’t look at him in victory. Instead, her expression got softer and she leaned over, placing a hand on his arm.

"So tell me what happened, Andy. All of it. If you leave a detail out, I will be very angry with you." She warned and Andrew gulped.

Where should he start? Should it be from the argument, or should he explain what happened at Maxwell’s brother’s wedding?

Uncertain, Andrew took a second to gather his thoughts before he opened his mouth.

"I hate being like him." It wasn’t anything he had planned to say, but the words felt right leaving his mouth. "I...I hate knowing that a piece of him won over Mom." Andrew admitted and May’s gaze shifted slightly.

"Andrew, there is no shame in that. There is nothing wrong with you. Especially since half of your genetics came from him." Andrew grit his teeth.

"That doesn’t mean that I can’t feel this way." Andrew shot back and May gave his arm a squeeze.

"That’s okay too. You are allowed to feel this way. I just want you to know that it’s okay for you to have the body that you do." May told him and Andrew shook his head, his gaze focused not on her, nor the food in front of them. He was seeing something else, something distant.

"I knew." Andrew started. May let him speak. "I knew from a young age that if I turned out like him that I would get taken away from Mom. I just knew it. I didn’t know what that meant, but I had this dread inside of me. When I didn’t manifest in my youth, it was such a relief. I thought I was safe. Safe to move on, live my life. I would never have to deal with him again." Andrew exhaled slowly, May’s hand giving another squeeze. She was still here, still listening.

"And then...Mom got sick. She’d actually been since for a long time, and when I found out that I might have been the cause-" May’s expression shifted, and she spoke up.

"Andy, you were not the cause of your Mo-" Andrew cut her off.

"I was!" He shouted, his heart racing in his chest. "If I had manifested, that fucker would have been around her more often, and she wouldn’t have gotten sick. She would have survived! I would have died, but Mom would have survived!" Andrew’s eyes began to warm, and he knew that the tears weren’t far behind. "She would have lived, and all I had to do was give up a small piece of freedom." Andrew mumbled. May sighed.

"She would be heartbroken hearing you say this." She told him and Andrew flinched. It was why he’d never said it out loud till now. He just knew. "How long have you thought like this?" May asked softly and Andrew shook his head.

"I don’t know. Forever." He muttered, sniffing as he tried to hold back his tears. May let out a sigh.

"Andrew, she didn’t tell you she was sick because she knew you would blame yourself like this. That was a problem between her and your father. We will never know what truly went down between them prior to your lack of manifesting as a child, but one thing I can tell you for certain. She had no regrets. Not from anything she did. Of course, she would have liked to be around for you longer, but that just wasn’t something she could do. I didn’t always agree with the choices she made, but I understood why she made them. She cared so much about you Andrew, enough that she made a secret fortune just to make sure you lacked for nothing." She sighed. "She was right though. You would have been happier if you had manifested as an omega." Andrew nodded.

"I would have been like her." Andrew muttered and May sighed.

"Do you hate looking like your father that much?" Andrew nodded.

"I hate that she saw parts of him in me." Andrew admitted softly and May stared at him. She gave his arm a squeeze.

"Well, she had to fall in love with something about him, didn’t she? Otherwise she would never have let him close enough to mark her, Andy. My belief is she saw all the good things she had fallen in love with in you, and whenever he came around she saw all the bad things he’d left behind. Everyone makes mistakes, but she clearly never regretted having you." Andrew ducked his head, his eyes swimming as tears began to fall. "Now what does all of this have to do with Maxwell, hmm? What about this is upsetting you?" Andrew shook his head, unable to speak for a moment as he was overwhelmed with emotions.

May knew his Mom, so she was able to speak to him about this. He felt silly, he felt selfish, he felt ashamed for having the thoughts that he did. May was right. Of course she was right, but Andrew had been so caught up in his grief and anger that he hadn’t been able to see anything else. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to see the brighter sides even after having this conversation, but he was glad to know that there was something bright in all this.

There were some things he had never questioned. His Mom’s love for him was one of them.

Eventually, Andrew was able to speak, but it took him a few tries to be able to speak coherently.

"I was...Max and I..."

"It’s okay. You have all the time in the world. Take a deep breath in, and then out." May encouraged, and Andrew followed her instructions. He took a few deep breaths, before he attempted to speak again.

"Max and I attended his brother’s wedding. Amir, his brother’s now husband, is an omega, and he’s pregnant." May nodded, letting him speak. "I’ve been around a lot of omegas in my time. Whether as friends, or something else, so I’ve been able to comfort him whenever he’s had any issues. He threw up at the ceremony because of nerves and morning sickness." May’s expression grew sympathetic.

"Poor thing. Is he doing alright now?" She asked and Andrew shrugged.

"I haven’t heard anything, so it appears so." Andrew said and May nodded.

"The reason why I brought up Amir is that we had some...interesting issues because this was after I had manifested. Amir wasn’t sure if he was pregnant, Max and I ran into him, and we helped calm him down and get him to take a pregnancy test. His partner wasn’t there, so when we walked into the pharmacy there were some assumptions made about me that Maxwell didn’t like. Amir didn’t notice, but he was also soothed by my pheromones when his partner wasn’t there. That doesn’t...that’s not a normal thing, is it?" Andrew asked and May stared at him.

"So, I take it, because of your height, people assumed you had two omegas instead of one?" Andrew nodded. "And Max probably got upset about that, but you’re also worried about how you are able to soothe Amir, correct?" May asked and Andrew nodded. She sighed. "Well, some people just have soothing pheromones, Andrew. It’s just the truth. There might also be the fact that Amir viewed you as not a threat because you were with Max at the time, but honestly, that’s not something I would be concerned about. If you think it’s because you’re a true alpha, maybe, but I’ve met other alphas who had long standing partners but were able to soothe others. It might just be a you trait, Andy, especially since you’ve been helping out omegas most of your life." Andrew swallowed, a knot inside of him loosening.

"You don’t think it’s because I have the ability to be like my father?" He felt foolish as soon as the words left his lips, but May didn’t judge him, nor react negatively. She gave his arm a squeeze again.

"No, Andrew. It is not because you are capable of being a piece of shit like your father. Could you even imagine cheating on someone like he did?" Andrew grew animated, disgust clear on his face.

"No, never! I’ve never even casually seen more than one person at the same time. I may have slept around, but I always made sure intentions were clear, even wasted." Andrew was disgusted with even the thought, and May smiled. "But...what if that changes? What if becoming a true alpha changes all of that? What if I become a monster?" Andrew asked the question. The question that had plagued him as soon as he’d realised what he’d become. Who he had become.

May sighed, closing her eyes slowly before she pushed back her chair, releasing his arm. When she came around, she hesitated for only a moment before she wrapped her arms around Andrew. She held him tightly, and when she spoke, and realised she was fighting back tears.

"You, my sweet boy, are never going to be capable of becoming a monster. Do you hear me? I know you are worried that you are going to get all the bad parts of him, of what that man did to you and your Mom, but you will never be like him. Do you understand? Whatever happened to that man to turn him into what he was never happened to you. We all made sure of it, and even then, do you doubt how much of your Mother you have in you? As if she would ever allow you to become something like that. You focus so much on what he is and forget what she was. You may look like him, and you may be a true alpha like him whether or not that was your choice, but that’s all you share with him." Her voice trembled as she held Andrew, and Andrew slowly raised his arms, hugging her back.

"Are you sure?" Andrew asked carefully and she sniffed, nodding.

"Yes, I am sure. As sure as I am that your Mom would be rolling in her grave if she knew that man had that much control over her. Hell, I have half a mind to go beat him up just to make you feel better." She muttered, her voice tight with unshed tears and Andrew exhaled, hugging May tightly.

"You don’t need to do that." He muttered. "I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble for me." May pulled back, grabbing his face in her hands and squeezing. Her gaze was fierce as she looked him over, her eyes watering, and her lips in a thin line.

"I would gladly get into trouble for you. Always. Trouble me, Andy. Burden me. I don’t care. It’s not a burden to me. You are like my son, and I don’t think your Mom would mind it if I said it. You were always too sweet as a kid, and it appears that it’s near your 30’s when you are going to start causing us problems." A smile tilted up her lips, but her expression was still tight, still harsh. "So, tell me what happened Andy. Why are you convinced that you and Max are over?" Andrew’s heart squeezed tightly, as if she had reached in and grabbed his heart, and he closed his eyes.

Andrew took a shaky breath in, trying to regain his composure. The smell of the food washed over him, wrapping around him as he tried to speak. The smell of maple filled his nose, and he swallowed the lump in his throat. Fuck.

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