(BL)Alpha Made
Chapter 130: I need to be the vulnerable one

Chapter 130: I need to be the vulnerable one

Maxwell normally hated weddings. Didn’t matter if it was his own family, or if it was someone else’s.

In fact, it was one of the reasons he’d been so insistent against marriage. He never wanted to be at the center of all of that attention. His family also had so many strange traditions, three different receptions, several before photo shoots, a drinking portion that normally wouldn’t be avoided but Amir was pregnant, so that wasn’t going to happen this time.

There were more, but Maxwell didn’t bother to list them. He’d never cared before, but now, he had Andrew.

Glancing at the man he was dragging by the hand whose face was still flushed, he wanted to curse.

He looked so damn pretty in his lavender suit with a flushed face. Fuck. He couldn’t believe that other people got to see this. He knew that he’d participated in making him this way, but he’d gotten so caught up in the moment he forgot that there were photographers and other people who could have malicious intentions towards him.

Those damn piranhas didn’t deserve to see Andrew like this. This was supposed to be something for Maxwell’s eyes only.

He was even more pissed that he couldn’t mess Andrew up as much as he wanted. They still had one more damn reception, when all he wanted to do was use the silk ties he’d packed away and tie Andrew up to the four poster bed like he’d been planning since Andrew agreed to come to the wedding.

He knew the silk probably wouldn’t hold up to Andrew’s strength, but he also knew that if Andrew did break it, it would be fucking hot.

God, he was so horny and pissed right now. It didn’t help that every once in a while Maxwell would feel Andrew’s cum leak out of him. It was everything he’d wanted, but he also wanted more.

Damn it. He hadn’t been like this before he met Andrew. He’d been strict about condoms, safe sex, everything. It was almost as if when he met Andrew everything he’d known got thrown in the trash.

Forget weddings, Maxwell was reconsidering everything he’d always said no to.

No alphas outside of heats- Maxwell had thought he’d gone for a beta, and ended up with a true alpha.

No marriage- Maxwell already knew what kind of band he wanted to get Andrew. It would have to be practical since the man needed to wear it while he worked. None of that wearing it on a necklace bullshit. Maybe they’d get a tattoo as well.

No marking- Maxwell wouldn’t even flinch if Andrew ’accidentally’ bit him. Oh, he’d play it up for dramatics, but at this point, if Andrew didn’t commit to that level with him, Maxwell might kill him.

No babies- Here Maxwell was, obsessing over Andrew’s cum. Maxwell wouldn’t consider it an exaggeration to say that it was his favourite liquid right now. Maxwell wasn’t sure if it was the heat that unlocked this feeling in him, or if it had been Amir that had flipped this switch.

Watching Andrew be around Amir, finding out that other people could have had Andrew’s kids? Something deep, unclaimed, and dangerous had awoken in him. He should have called it a maternal instinct, but it felt far too dark for him to call it that.

Maybe a desire to claim? No one else can have him? That felt more aligned to the true feelings related to it, but that didn’t quite fit it either. Either way, it was a possessiveness on Maxwell’s part that only intensified when he’d realised others had had Andrew’s seed before.

That had triggered something inside of him. He hadn’t disclosed it to Michael yet, but that might have been the trigger to his early heat.

His desire that no one else could have Andrew.

He could not believe that he’d unconsciously tried to baby trap Andrew. Andrew of all people! One of the most responsible, kind, caring and considerate people he’d ever met. A man who oozed happiness and who would be such a good Dad it made him wet just to think about.

It was even worse because they’d talked about it! Maxwell had agreed it wasn’t the right time, and yet he’d still tried to do it! Fuck, he might even try again honestly. He knew it was an awful thing to do, and he knew that Andrew was the kind of person who would be understanding and willing to discuss it.

He’d heard about Maxwell’s desires and done the best thing he could think of to try and fulfil it in a healthy way, yet here Maxwell was, trying to trick him into something he hadn’t agreed to. Fuck. Maybe he had too much of his grandfather’s blood in him.

His Father did always say he was the most like him after all.

"Max? Is everything alright?" Andrew’s soft voice filled his ears and Maxwell realised he’d kept walking down the hallways and had begun to lead them towards their rooms. He’d been so lost in his own thoughts he hadn’t led them to the room where their clothes and a small meal had been waiting for them.

He’d set it up before they’d even left for the ceremony. He’d assumed that Andrew would need a break before the last reception, and yet here he was, trying to take him away from everything. Fuck. His possessiveness was getting out of hand.

He didn’t want to talk to Dr. Smith about this. It wasn’t just a doctor issue, this was an omega issue, and as much as he was a remarkable doctor, he was an alpha. Maxwell was going to have to make the embarrassing admittance to his original family doctor and pray that they didn’t tell his parents.

He did not want to have this conversation with his Mother, or his Father.

"I...I think the alcohol might be getting to me." Maxwell told him. He was sure that it was playing a role in his thoughts. He wasn’t normally like this.

Andrew tugged on his hand, forcing Maxwell to turn and face him. His face was still flushed, but concern was in his big, brown eyes.

"Are you okay? You don’t look well. Do you want to go back to our rooms? We can just tell them that we weren’t feeling up to going to the last party." Maxwell closed his eyes, tempted to agree with him, but at the same time...

"No. I’ll manage. I think we both just need some food. We’re supposed to be going this way." Maxwell turned around, learning them in the exact opposite direction. Andrew gave his hand a squeeze, clearly trying to comfort him and Maxwell felt his heart ache.

He’d realised what he had been doing to this giant, gentle man, and now he couldn’t keep it to himself anymore. With anyone else, Maxwell would have probably kept this all to himself, but this was Andrew.

A man who gave and gave and gave, and then felt guilty for taking. He would literally cut off parts of himself just to make sure Maxwell was comfortable, but would actively try to kill himself in fear of inconveniencing Maxwell in the slightest. He had such a big heart, and such a large scar on that heart that even if Maxwell was hating himself right now, he needed to be the one to admit this first.

If he showed Andrew that it was okay to have problems, to be wrong, maybe that would lead to Andrew being more open, more willing to give Maxwell the parts of him that were bruised. Because Maxwell did want everything Andrew had to offer, even the bad parts.

He just hated that he had to be vulnerable to get them.

At least he got to have Andrew’s arms around him as a consolation prize. The man could engulf him. He was practically the size of two Maxwell’s before, but now? He could be surrounded by Andrew pretty much whenever he wanted.

"Max?" Maxwell’s ears burned as he realised his mind had wandered again. Thankfully, they were near the room that he had booked for them, and with a huff, Maxwell opened the door.

It was nicely set up, their next outfits hanging on the doors of the wooden dresser in here, a small table set for two with food waiting there, and not a bed in sight. Good. That was exactly what Maxwell wanted so his thoughts didn’t wander.

There was a bathroom, of course, but Maxwell was less inclined to jump Andrew when there wasn’t a bed in the room.

"Oh, this is pretty." Andrew’s soft murmur behind him had Maxwell turning to look at him as the door closed. To Maxwell, this was just an average room, but to Andrew? This had to be so new to him, and Maxwell and the others were behaving as if Andrew had always been involved. He might have been, but his Mom had put in a lot of work to make sure that Andrew was never here. Never exploited by his father and his father’s family.

Yet, Maxwell had brought him here. He hoped Andrew’s Mom wasn’t pissed about that. Meeting her in the afterlife would be quite awkward then.

"Andrew, I-"

"Whatever is eating away at you can wait until after we’ve eaten." Andrew interrupted and Maxwell jerked. Andrew was smiling down at him and he cupped his face with his large hand. "Did you think I wouldn’t notice? Maxy, you’re never this distracted, even when drinking. Whatever it is, it’s okay, alright? We’ll work through it together. It can’t be that bad, can it?" Maxwell didn’t deserve this man’s forgiveness or kindness.

Maxwell gripped onto his hand, knowing he shouldn’t wait any longer. Andrew might not even want to eat with him after he found out the truth, and that was okay.

"I...I tried to baby trap you." Maxwell blurted out the words, unable to keep them inside of him anymore. He glanced up at Andrew’s face, worried about what he would think.

Andrew seemed shocked. Frozen, and Maxwell’s heart squeezed.

"You tried to...baby trap me?" Andrew repeated. "Are the drugs..." Maxwell swallowed.

"T-They might work for true alphas." Maxwell admitted softly and dropped his gaze. Andrew let out a soft, deep exhale above him.

"Okay." Andrew said. Maxwell held his breath. "Anything else?" Andrew asked carefully and Maxwell swallowed.

"I know we discussed it and I heard you, I really did, and I even agreed with you, but there was a part of me that acted without even my knowledge until after it happened." Maxwell felt like a flood had broken and he held on tightly to Andrew’s hand on his face. "I don’t like other people looking at you. I don’t like other people even noticing you. I have never felt this possessive over another person in my whole life. I know I care deeply about you, and that I want to be with you, but I’m worried that there is a chance I could take this too far. So...if you don’t like that, now would be the tim-"

"What happened to the Maxwell who told me I belonged to him?" Andrew asked, cutting Maxwell off and Maxwell felt his emotions get the better of him. His eyes watered and he couldn’t look at Andrew.

"He’s still here, he’s just...I don’t want you to hate me, Andrew. That’s my worst fear. I can’t believe that I went against your wishes so many times. I thought I was better than this." Maxwell admitted. "I never wanted to even slightly be like her, and yet-"

"Hey, no no no, you are not like her." Andrew cut off his words. "Oh Angel, it’s alright. It’s totally okay." Andrew pulled Maxwell in, pressing him against his chest and Maxwell fought for his life not to cry.

"But I heard you, agreed with you, and then-"

"Maxwell, I will get angry if you keep bringing up that you are like her in the slightest. You aren’t. You didn’t lie to everyone about our relationship, you didn’t drug me, you also didn’t kidnap me. You never forced me, well, I had ways to stop myself but you never held me down and forced me to do anything. You were very clear about your intentions, every time I came inside you. You just...took advantage of the faults in the pills." Andrew’s grip tightened on him.

Maxwell flinched when Andrew chuckled.

"Honestly, I shouldn’t even be surprised. Not with how much of the fake cum we used. You were a beast for it. I don’t know if you remember, but you cried like a baby when I told you I needed to keep a condom on. Full on wept on my chest. I think I finally understood why you like it so much when I cry during sex." Andrew squeezed him and Maxwell shuddered.

"Why are you-"

"Maxy, Angel, do you remember why I said I didn’t want a kid?" Maxwell swallowed.

"You said you weren’t ready. You also said you weren’t sure if you ever wanted kids. I assumed it was because of...your father and all of that." Maxwell hated how weak he felt, but knew that this was important.

"Yes. Those things still exist inside of me. I’m worried about the fact that I could turn out like my father, and I still think it’s too early for us, but it’s not a no, Maxy. I don’t think you understand how much you’ve changed me." Andrew pulled back, cupping Maxwell’s face in his hands and Maxwell held onto Andrew’s waist tightly. "Maxy, I want to give you everything that you ever wanted or desired. Even if I’m afraid, terrified of the consequences. You just need to give me time, alright? That’s all I want in return. It’s not a no, just not a right now." Maxwell worried he was making a terribly ugly face as the first tear spilled over his cheek. Andrew bent and pressed a kiss against his tear and Maxwell’s lips trembled.

"Fuck. Don’t make me break my promise to my brother." Maxwell warned and Andrew chuckled.

"I don’t plan to."