Beast Alpha and His Cursed Luna
Chapter 76: Afraid of feelings

Chapter 76: Afraid of feelings

VALENCIA’S POV

I couldn’t process what he was talking about. No. I mean, I knew what his words meant, but was he really serious about it?

"Shadow, what are you-"

"I am going to proceed with my wish. If you don’t like it, avert your face and slap me to bring me out of this desire that is building inside me for you," Shadow said.

Millions of thoughts started to encircle in my head.

Even though his face was only an inch apart, it almost felt like we were miles away as he brought his face close to mine slowly, probably giving me enough time to think about everything and a chance to leave.

What do I really want? Kissing the beta of the Dark Callisto pack? The one pack that can end me in a second and the council won’t be able to interfere either?

Kissing the most loyal subordinate of the person who probably would plunge my heart straight through my chest after finding I am a rogue too?

I looked into his eyes, his hazel eyes that had tens of emotions swirling in them as he paused momentarily. There were so many things I was thinking about too, but that one emotion in his eyes, the pure affection he had was more than enough for me to kick all the other thoughts away.

I looked into his eyes before raising my hand.

The way he closed his eyes as if accepting fate and my rejection, I felt my heart aching for him, something I never thought I was capable of.

With a shaky breath, I placed my hand on his cheeks, my palm cupping his jaws before I pulled him closer and pressed my lips onto his.

He took a deep breath, and that was the only second I got to breathe because, in the next second, he stood between my legs and pulled me so close that there was no space left between us anymore.

"F*ck!" He whispered before he wrapped his right hand around my waist, his other hand going to my hair as he tilted my head slightly, deepening the kiss.

It was ethereal. It was cold. His lips were cold and soft, but the kiss was hot enough for me to feel my body being set on fire.

He moved his lips softly, breathing into my skin as if I was the Eleanor he had been waiting for all his life, the passion in his movements blinding me completely.

I wrapped my legs around him, feeling weird excitement building in my stomach. He caressed my lips with his lips, his left hand massaging the nape of my neck, while his right hand was playing with the hem of my top.

A shaky breath left my mouth when his fingertip came in touch with my skin, my top being lifted slightly.

I could feel all the kinds of emotions I read in those books.

The toe-curling sensations, the butterflies in my stomach, my heart beating at the pace of a bullet train, I could feel everything.

"Allow me," He whispered in between the kiss as he licked my bottom lip, and I opened my mouth subconsciously.

If what I was feeling earlier was the best feeling I ever had, it was nothing compared to the moment he pushed his tongue into my face.

My heart has never beat so fast, and I have never tasted something like this in my entire life and then crave it at the same time while tasting it. Yes, that was what I was feeling at the moment.

I was craving his touch, his kiss even when he was already kissing and touching me. It was like there was something amiss with the situation.

I don’t know how long we kissed, sucking each other’s lips, drinking each other like a fine wine that couldn’t be gotten over. But all I knew was that I was too breathless by the time we stopped.

He placed his forehead on mine as we both caught our breaths.

His hands were now cupping my cheeks while my hand rested on his chest.

We didn’t speak anything for a few seconds or was it a few minutes?

"I..." Shadow lifted his head and looked into my eyes with his hazel eyes almost beaming, and I trembled inwardly.

What was this? Why were his emotions only increasing?

A terrifying thought occurred in my head.

It was just a kiss. We both shared it because we both wanted it. There was nothing more to it, right?

’It doesn’t look like he shares the same thoughts as you. And who are you kidding? You will probably say yes if he asks you to kiss him again. And why didn’t you kiss him as passionately as he was kissing us? You made me lose my face,’ Aurora said.

Her words were as always unnerving, but something about what she said caught my attention.

"I think I should leave now," I whispered before looking at his chest, unsure of how to ask him to move away from between my legs because his body was still pressing into me, igniting my body with a kind of desire that I didn’t want to address.

"I will wait for you after the lectures are over. This doesn’t end here," Shadow said before he cleared his throat and stepped back, turning around from me.

I looked at his back before nodding to him even though he couldn’t see it.

Without wasting a single second, I stepped out of the cabin.

I couldn’t go to the canteen. I don’t know why, but I just couldn’t.

Thus, not wanting to be disturbed by anyone, I went to the terrace.

’You are so confused, Valencia. Life is supposed to be enjoyed. What’s the issue in feeling for that man?’ Aurora asked me.

I shook my head at her.

She doesn’t understand. I am afraid.

I am afraid that one more time I will let my guard down and once again someone will get the chance to make me realize why trusting someone is a bad idea in the first place.

I am afraid of being let down and getting hurt again.

One can easily get over physical injuries, they heal over time, but what about the emotional injury?

I closed my eyes and sat in the shade, feeling unstable.

’Ha, did you think he loved you? That anyone would accept a rogue like you?’

’What a joke! Your existence is a curse in itself,’

’No one will ever love you and that’s your destiny. Do you understand that? You will die alone and pitiful,’

My sister’s mocking words echoed in my head, and I looked at my pendant.

I was suddenly feeling too lonely.

Why was I so alone?

"I am sorry if I hurt your feelings. Did I do something wrong?" I heard Shadow’s voice, who was standing right beside me.

"It’s not related to you. Can you leave me alone for some time?" I asked him, trying my best to keep my voice neutral.

"Well, you are clearly worried about something. I am not the kind of friend who leaves a friend when she is crying," He said.

"I am not crying," I said defensively, and he smiled.

"My bad. You are sweating from your eyes," he said, and I couldn’t help but touch my cheeks.

They were indeed wet.

Just when the hell did I start crying?

I pressed my lips into a thin line when he sat close to me.

"Is the kiss bothering you?" He went straight to the point, and I swear I wanted to knock his head open.

He definitely doesn’t know how to comfort someone. He is asking the wrong question the first thing.

"You are afraid that I will break your heart," Shadow said, and I looked at him, shocked.

Was he mind-reading?

"I don’t want to talk about it," I said.

"Well, you definitely need to talk about it," he said before he took out a dagger from his pocket.

He threw the dagger in front of me, making me look at him.

"Take this dagger and cut my hand," He said, and I couldn’t help but look at him as if he was losing his mind.

"Are you insane?" I asked.

"Uhuh, do it. Slit my palm. Let’s make a pact. I will swear on my blood that I will not betray you. You know, I am just as confused as you are. Why do I feel so drawn towards you, or what is this feeling, but I know it’s you. It’s for you," Shadow said.

I smiled at him through my tears.

Look at him talking all big like he doesn’t fear anything or anyone in the world when I can assure you that once his alpha comes and asks him to kill me, he will give in to the orders and carry them either way.

"Thank you for saying those words. However, I don’t want you to make any promises. You know nothing about me," I whispered.

"I know enough," Shadow said, and I smiled dejectedly.

"Trust me, you don’t," I said before exiting the terrace.

It looks like I’ll get peace only when I’ll be home.

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