Be Careful What You Wish For: A Zombie Apocalypse
Chapter 400: Help Me With Something

Chapter 400: Help Me With Something

The trek from the beach back to the house was a long one, but I didn’t mind. In fact, I think I was actually enjoying myself.

Don’t get me wrong, at least three conversations were going on in my head at any given time, so I was kept amused, but the outside silence? I didn’t know how much I would enjoy it.

The jungle teemed with life around me; the vines reached out to caress my hands every chance they got. Every so often, the vine that had made itself home around my wrist reached back, but for the most part, it too seemed to just enjoy the solitude.

I stopped on the other side of the bridge and stared out at the vine-covered house. It was so different from what it was when I first created it that I actually got a bit mad. Everything around me was changing. The guys were changing, the house was changing, even the humans were evolving.

But it was like I was stuck in the mud, unable to go forward or backward.

Why couldn’t everything just stay the same? Why did everything have to change?

"You look lost in thought," said Daddy softly as he came out of the jungle behind me. "Is everything okay?"

"I—" I started, only to stop again. "I don’t know. The guys changed, and I don’t like it."

"Of course they changed," smiled Daddy, pulling me into his arms as Tink splashed inside the moat. "They went out two nights ago to get stronger, and that is what we did. We got stronger."

Absently, I nodded my head, but I don’t know how much I agreed with that statement. I mean, I guess I really couldn’t say anything. I wasn’t there; I didn’t witness their trials. But for some reason, a thought had popped into my head that you could never know how truly strong you were until your back was against the wall and you were forced to either fight or run.

Miriam chose to fight. She killed someone for the first time in her life in order to protect her children, while my mother ran.

She chose to stay and fight while Colt made a wish for everything to disappear.

I envied Miriam’s strength...

But I didn’t envy her for having to find the strength to keep going.

"What is really bothering you?" asked Daddy softly, his chin resting on my shoulder.

"I told you. The change," I stated, my voice dry. Closing my eyes, I just sank into Daddy’s embrace. He hummed in acknowledgement of my statement, but still stayed silent, waiting for me to keep going.

Unlike talking to Miriam, this was hard. I didn’t know the right words, I didn’t know what I was allowed to say and what I wasn’t.

"It feels like there are two separate people inside of me," I said at long last, my voice soft. "One that seems to know everything and can do everything, and another side that couldn’t even tie my shoe if asked. Like a broken mirror, I feel that there are a whole bunch of faces that I need to be, but none of them feel right."

Letting out a huff of air, I started to get frustrated. I wasn’t explaining it right... and I hated that.

"You know the guys would do anything for you, all you have to do is ask," said Daddy, and I could feel a rush of anger coming from the ’other’.

"Really?" she snapped, shaking Daddy off. But I didn’t want him to go away; I wanted to be in his arms. I could feel the tears of frustration starting to gather at the corner of my eyes, but I refused to shed them.

If I thought I was broken before... now I just feel crazy.

And I thought I had made such progress. Why couldn’t the ’other’ just shut up and leave me alone?!

"What have the Sins ever done for me?" the ’other’ continued. In my head, I could see her in front of me, the version I was supposed to be... that everyone wanted me to be. Not the one full of scars, both on the inside and the outside.

"They merged their souls with yours," reminded Daddy, not once getting defensive. But that was fine, I was more than defensive enough for the both of us.

"Those souls were mine in the first place! They were giving me back what had broke me in the first place! Or do you think a person with a fractured soul is...normal?" hissed the ’other’ even as I tried to fight her back.

"Don’t worry, Daddy," I said quickly when I had a second of control. "I don’t actually feel that way."

Or did I?

"Princess," murmured Daddy, pulling me back into his arms. "It is okay to feel however you want to feel. But maybe, just maybe, if you talk about it, we can find a way to fix it."

"Fix it?" demanded the ’other’. "And just how can we fix it? Only Dante willingly offered me back my soul, thinking that it would kill him. The others realized that everything would be fine and that they would even become stronger. But even then... only four of the seven have offered it back to me. Offered," she snarled, like it was the most offensive word in the English language.

"They offered to give me something that was already mine. Like I have no right to be complete without their consent. Like they can control every part of me. They have done nothing for me! Hell, I don’t even know if they know anything about me."

I needed to stop the flow of words before I said something that I couldn’t possibly take back. I didn’t need a full soul. I didn’t need to be complete. It was fine for me to be broken... as long as I didn’t rock the boat, everything would be fine.

Quickly pulling out a lollypop, I unwrapped it and shoved it into my mouth, making it hard to speak.

"Thanks, Daddy, for listening," I smiled at him, my eyes wide even as the ’other’ grumbled under her breath. But as much as she scared me, I knew that she would never hurt me. She was speaking up so that she wouldn’t hurt me. "I’m all better now."

"Oh, Princess," murmured Chang Xuefeng as he gently stroked my cheek. "It’s okay to not be happy. Tell me what you need from me, and I will do it. After that night in the jungle, I know what is most important in my life, and that is you. I don’t have a soul to offer you, I don’t have any way of merging with you like the Sins, but I swear to you on everything that I am that you will always come first."

"Then can I ask you to help me with something?" I asked, hesitantly.

"Anything."

"Can you teach me how to love?"