Apocalyptic Era: Starting from picking up a Bishoujo
Chapter 362 - 337 Zhu Shi Question Heart 2

Chapter 362: 337 Zhu Shi Question Heart 2

I immediately realized that Zhu Shi’s question hit the most fatal aspect of the relationship between Mazao and me with pinpoint accuracy.

Was she able to ask this question because she, as an outsider, could see the whole picture of the situation, or because she possessed a superpower that allowed her to discern weaknesses, making even the cracks within interpersonal relationships nowhere to hide in her eyes?

"Senior Brother Zhuang... Zhuang Cheng, for you, is it Mazao herself that matters, or is it her physique that attracts anomalies?" she asked.

"...Do you think your question is somewhat over-wrought?" I asked, "It’s like a harmoniously married rich person suddenly starts to ponder whether their spouse really loves them for who they are or for their wealth and social status...

"I don’t think there’s much value in delving deeply into this question. As a pastime to exercise one’s thoughts, sure, it’s fine, but there’s no need to obsess over it. But if I must answer, both are very important."

"But your position isn’t that of the rich person; it’s that of the spouse," Zhu Shi pointed out. "It’s of course nothing more than self-torment for the rich person to ponder such unsolvable issues. Unless they’re putting on an act to deceive their spouse, saying they’ve lost their wealth and social status to perform a loyalty test on their spouse—that would be their wrongdoing.

"But you can find the answer. Additionally, it’s necessary for you to clarify your own feelings."

"Your ’necessary’—what do you mean by that?" I asked.

At the same time, I was also trying to sort out my own true feelings.

Romantic feelings are an extremely complex concept. Precisely because of the complexity, there’s plenty of room for impurities to mix in. Sometimes, these impurities can even come to dominate without the person involved being aware of it.

Some people just like societal elites, those with wealth and power, yet they uphold a sound moral conscience that recognizes their choice of partner might not be ethical. Therefore, they might unconsciously deceive themselves into believing they are attracted to the person themselves when they’re actually drawn to strength. Only if their partner loses wealth and status, becoming less appealing in their eyes, might they realize that it was the other’s wealth and status they were actually fond of, not the person.

Without a doubt, my fondness for Mazao stems from her ability to change my boring destiny, to be of great use to me. Would I have developed romantic feelings for her if this key factor had been absent from the start? Would she have made my heart skip a beat to this extent?

I must confront my own heart and admit honestly to myself—it’s impossible.

Perhaps, my romantic feelings for Mazao share something in common with Changan’s friendly feelings toward me.

The reason why Changan considers me a friend is that he mistook me for his ideal; but after becoming disillusioned with me, his feelings of friendship began to crack as well.

That being said, the many memories accumulated between us will not disappear, and perhaps Changan can still force himself to treat me as a friend. However, it may not be as good of a friendship as it used to be. It’s likely that our relationship can’t return to how it once was.

So, if Mazao loses her Broom Star Physique in the future, would I continue to like her? Even though our accumulated memories won’t vanish, could I still look at her with the same eyes? In my feelings toward Mazao, did the Broom Star Physique merely play the role of a stepping stone, or was it an indispensable foundation stone?

The answer was slowly taking shape in my heart.

Zhu Shi then responded to my question.

"If you care about Mazao herself, then you should find a way to help her rid herself of that cursed physique," she said seriously. "Zhuang Cheng, six months ago, that is, before Xuanming defected and Fu Hongchen was killed... Luoshan had a full ten Impermanences, as well as more than a dozen at the rank of Great Success... don’t you think there’s something off about these numbers?"

Hearing her point this out, I pondered for a moment, then asked, "Do you mean there are too many Impermanences or too few of the Great Success rank?"

"Both interpretations are valid. While the birth of each Great Success is an unreplicable experience, they all have one thing in common—they must surpass the Knowledge Barrier and abandon all preconceptions in their heart, moving from the acquired back to the innate," Zhu Shi said. "But becoming Impermanence is different; each Impermanence is a special case of making the impossible possible, and out of a hundred Great Success rank, maybe not even one can become Impermanence.

"Even Xuanwu, who is qualified to be Impermanence, spent three hundred years unable to achieve Impermanence status. It’s certainly not because he dawdled on the path of cultivation or due to lack of talent. Rather, it’s that becoming Impermanence is akin to ascending to the heavens. Senior Brother Zhuang, you are an exception among exceptions, and it’s hard to find a second talent like you after the mythological era. Normally, even those qualified for Impermanence can’t just become one immediately.

"The reason there are so many Impermanences is that Impermanences share the same lifespan as the heavens and earth. Throughout history, although some Impermanences have died or disappeared, the accumulation up to the present day has resulted in this number... And even though those of the Great Success rank may not live as long as the heavens and earth, they also possess various ways to extend their life, and unless they wish for death, it’s rare to hear of any dying of natural causes. However, up to today, there are only a handful of those at Great Success rank within Luoshan, do you know why?"

Although Zhu Shi was discussing the reason for the scarcity of Great Success rank, at its core, her point still revolved around Mazao’s situation. Thus, combining the common denominators of both topics, I concluded: "—Is it because demon hunters and abnormal entities attract each other?"

"Correct. Although the powers of Great Success rank demon hunters are strong enough that 99.9% of abnormal incidents pose no threat, they still can’t sever the fate that connects them with the abnormal world," Zhu Shi said in a grave tone. "Over a long lifetime, even if only one in a hundred abnormal incidents requires their grave attention, they will encounter that ’one percent’ time and time again... And if they slip up just once, it’s an irreversible doom."

"And the Impermanence, they are different; their power is already so great that not even that ’one percent’ exists... Even ’one in ten thousand’ does not exist, and at the same time, the abnormal beings revere and keep their distance from them, as if acknowledging their greatness.

"For both demon hunters and abnormal beings, Impermanence is truly a transcender, an existence from a different dimension."

But Mazao is different.

Mazao is only of Great Success Rank.

She has the Power of Return to revert time, to remain forever young, with an endless lifespan, yet as long as she is not Impermanence, as one of Great Success Rank, she is bound to be ensnared by the curse of calamities. One day, this terrifying fate will grind her to dust.

Even with the effect of the Broom Star Physique, the pace of her self-destruction is accelerated tenfold, a hundredfold, a thousandfold. It is a miracle that she has survived to this day in the Doomsday Era, which is already filled with abnormal beings.

So, if she becomes Impermanence, does it mean she no longer has to worry about this? No, that’s not the case. The repulsion I once had with the abnormal world is just an early manifestation of the Impermanence being revered and avoided by abnormal beings, and Mazao’s Broom Star Physique can even override that, meaning that after Mazao becomes Impermanence, the Broom Star Physique will still drag her into the vortex.

Of course, if she possesses the power of Impermanence, Mazao might be able to fend off all calamities. However, achieving Impermanence is not that simple. Although it was easy for me to do so, now that I have become one, I understand how impossible it is to progress from Great Success Rank to Impermanence.

I will try my best to protect Mazao, but if she herself does not have the ability to protect herself from all calamities, there will inevitably come a moment I cannot protect her.

The best method is to eliminate the Broom Star Physique from Mazao.

I understood what Zhu Shi meant by "necessary."

"Even if that opportunity really arises, Mazao may not choose to give up her Broom Star Physique. For her, it is an important power that can be of use to you, one that you can cherish, and it is no longer just a cursed physique," said Zhu Shi, "But how do you see it, Zhuang Cheng?

"If you are just worried about losing your connection with the abnormal world, the Zhu family can help you establish enough ties in the abnormal world to anchor you to this side of the world... Is that not enough?"

It’s not enough.

Just being able to continue to interact with the abnormal world is far from satisfying my current appetite. Especially when I now have such immense power, encountering one or two insubstantial abnormal events every so often is hardly thrilling. If I want to throw myself into terrifying vortexes that threaten my life and cannot be defied, the existence of the Broom Star Physique is indispensable.

Observing my expression, Zhu Shi then compromised and said, "Alright, maybe I was too hasty in asking. Let me ask you something else, if one day Mazao suddenly loses her Broom Star Physique... will you continue to like her?"

I gave the answer that had formed in my heart: "I will."

"Even if by then Mazao is of no use to you?" Zhu Shi asked.

"Frankly speaking, Zhu Shi, do you think you and Changan are of any use to me now?" I asked.

"You really don’t mince your words!" Zhu Shi was surprised.

"But, Zhu Shi, if you fall into danger, I will definitely risk my own life to save you, just as I would for Changan now," I said.

Zhu Shi counter-asked, "So, are you facing danger to save me, or are you saving me to face danger?"

I answered without hesitation: "Both are me."

Hearing this, Zhu Shi showed an unexpected look, studied me seriously for a moment, and then revealed a relieved smile.

"That’s good," she said.

A short time later, Mr. Zhu also finished preparing for the trip, and Mazao finally gave up trying to awaken Zhu Jiu with the Power of Return and came down from upstairs.

We set out towards Luoshan Headquarters.