Apocalyptic Era: Starting from picking up a Bishoujo
Chapter 361 - 336 Zhu Shi asks the heart 1

Chapter 361: 336 Zhu Shi asks the heart 1

After consulting with Zhu Shi about my problems with Mazao, I hadn’t reported my progress to her since. Logically and emotionally, I should summarize my own progress and give her an update.

Since she seemed interested in discussing interpersonal relationships to help me relax, I actively cooperated, hoping she wouldn’t worry. Moreover, I did have some tricky issues I wanted to consult her about and hear her thoughts as a woman.

Before long, I had clearly explained my progress and the obstacles I faced.

"Uh-huh, uh-huh, I see, I see. So Mazao already knows the real reason you’ve been pestering her, which is for her Broom Star Physique... and instead of disliking you, she’s actually developed a better relationship with you, and has come to regard you as a unique and important person..." Zhu Shi said enthusiastically, "You’re doing quite well, Senior Brother Zhuang!"

"But I still have some concerns..." I said.

"How exactly does Mazao view you—that’s the question, right? Maybe she just sees you as an irreplaceable good friend and not necessarily as a romantic interest, while you have those feelings for Mazao..."

As she said this, Zhu Shi’s joy faded, and she showed a peculiar expression: "To be honest, Senior Brother Zhuang, I still feel a bit... is it somewhat inappropriate for you to pursue a girl Mazao’s age, or maybe also a bit creepy?

"Mazao has said she doesn’t know how long she lived during the Doomsday Era; maybe she looks that way but is actually of age..." She mumbled to herself, then looked up at me for a long time before letting out a resigned sigh.

"...Oh well, I’ll just support you," she said, resignedly.

I was surprised, "I thought you’d give me more of a talking-to."

"On second thought, aside from you, there really is no one better suited for Mazao," she said.

Little Bowl had said something similar.

On this, I was very confident. Who else but me could accept all of Mazao? No one, for sure not, it’s impossible. If there were, I’d secretly sabotage them. I have no flaws.

"At least I can’t imagine Mazao finding another person who can accept all her good and bad after missing out on you. And as for the age issue, it won’t be a problem after a few more years; there’s only a five or six-year difference between you and Mazao. If another decade or two passes, it will be even less of an issue."

Zhu Shi seemed to have convinced herself and continued, "So, back to your issue... um, isn’t it easy to solve?"

"Easy to solve?" I wondered.

"Yes, why not just keep throwing fastballs as usual?" she said matter-of-factly, "Just confess to Mazao directly and then ask her face to face if she likes you too, or if she can accept your feelings... won’t that clear things up?"

"Wait, wait, that’s completely different from Little Bowl—and the other advice you mentioned," I said, "Mazao absolutely hates men who fancy themselves with little girls like her; she might have seen some pretty bad scenes during the Doomsday Era, so she’s very much against such things.

"If I haven’t pierced through that paper window yet, there might still be room for negotiation. Once everything is brought to light, I might lose the chance altogether. Rather than that, as you just said, it’s better to wait a few years until it’s no longer a problem and then confess..."

Zhu Shi cut to the chase: "Senior Brother Zhuang, can you really wait that long? I’m not questioning your patience, but if your desire is to pursue the vast and adventurous unknown of when you might die, does that kind of long-term plan measured in years really suit your nature? Don’t you yourself feel that you can’t delay for a few years?"

It seems Zhu Shi is more radical than the Conservative Little Bowl.

"What if, just like Little Bowl said, rushing to confess leads to a botched result..." I said.

"Geez, what do those little girls know about romance! She hasn’t even graduated from elementary school, you should still listen to me, love strategist Zhu Shi!" she confidently boasted, "I am a bona fide university student and have read hundreds of romance novels. From high school to university, I’ve seen friends and their friends get into relationships and break up one after another, witnessed countless love and heartaches; my experience is vast!"

No, "those little girls" include you too.

And you clearly lack romantic feelings, so where do you get the capability to call yourself a love strategist? Little Bowl is more qualified than you in this regard. Is reading over a hundred romance novels also considered love experience? Although you say you’ve witnessed countless tales of love and hate, those are all your friends’ or friends of friends’ stories, right?

Before these tactless words could escape my lips, my attention was drawn to another matter.

"Do you actually read romance novels?" I couldn’t help but ask curiously.

"Yes, I do. It’s not that I’m incapable of understanding what love is... or rather, that I’m unable to feel romantic love for others. Maybe it’s precisely because I know I’m devoid of love that I’m curious about what love means to others," Zhu Shi self-analyzed. "In fact, stories that others find sweet, I also find sweet; stories that make others feel heart-wrenched also pain me.

"I don’t feel that ’losing love’ hinders my ability to empathize with characters in the story or with the audience outside the story. If I hadn’t indeed never felt attracted to the opposite sex, I might even doubt whether I truly lacked romantic feelings... Perhaps the concept of love itself is a construct created by civilization, and even if I lack such feelings, I wouldn’t encounter any problems in life.

"Sometimes, friends even come to me for love advice, and the suggestions I provide occasionally do help!"

Like me, perhaps? Actually, the last time Zhu Shi advised me to be direct with Mazao, it did indeed work out. Could it be that someone who lacks romantic feelings is able to handle matters of love more incisively?

"So you mean that while you can empathize with love through stories, you’re unable to do so when it comes to your own experiences..." I mused, "Your symptom sounds like those netizens who are overly obsessed with virtual characters and can’t feel an attraction to actual humans. I think it’s called ’secondo-something’..."

"No, no! That’s not it at all!" Zhu Shi hastily waved her hands to clarify, "I can also empathize with the feeling of love from real friends, like when your relationship with Mazao was deepening, I actually felt a bit... erm."

She clamped her mouth shut reflexively, as if she had revealed something, and carefully watched my reaction. Does she mean that if I date Mazao, she feels as if she’s dating too? So, does she empathize with me dating Mazao, or with Mazao dating me? Or does she feel both?

The ’love’ that she, who lacks romantic feelings, thinks she empathizes with, could it simply be her imagination and not match the actual feelings of love? It seems that many have said the love in real life and that in romance stories are completely different. Before truly falling in love, who can understand the taste of love based solely on imagination?

Zhu Shi once questioned whether humans truly have the innate capacity for love. While I don’t think love is entirely fictitious, love’s concept in modern civilization undoubtedly includes many acquired, cultural elements, making it overly complex and leading to varied definitions. Once you deconstruct love completely, love can easily be explained as a mix of reproductive desires and cooperative instincts, no longer what people refer to as love.

At this thought, I suddenly realize a critical issue.

Compared with Zhu Shi, Mazao might be even less capable of comprehending romantic feelings.

Raised in the Doomsday Era, she might not possess modern concepts of romance. Or to say, in the environment of her past experiences, there might not have been fertile ground for constructing the concept of love. Before coming to the modern world, she might have never even heard the word ’love,’ and even if she had, her understanding of this "unique feeling between men and women" might be the deconstructed meaning, a mix of reproductive desires and cooperative instincts.

Since Mazao and I have already become inseparable partners, if I were to express my true feelings on top of this, might she directly interpret it as me just wanting to do that thing with her?

I recall when I hinted at my true feelings in the past, the reaction she showed... back then she got very nervous, and subconsciously compared her body to that of adult women, thinking she wasn’t voluptuous enough... Did she directly associate my hints with that direction?

"...Actually, there’s a very important issue," Zhu Shi said, "Before you confess to Mazao, I must make it clear to you."

"Is there another obstacle?" I asked.

"It’s hard to say whether it’s an obstacle or not, but the problem doesn’t lie with Mazao—it’s with you," Zhu Shi looked at me seriously.

"Do I have a problem?" I wondered.

Zhu Shi gazed at me for a while, then posed a question.

A question I had never even considered.

"If one day, Mazao loses her Broom Star Physique...

"No, let me rephrase that. If one day, you come across an opportunity to help Mazao remove her Broom Star Physique—

"Would you help her?"