Witchbound Villain: Infinite Loop
215 – The Horse Had One Job

“Hey guys!”

Evan waved enthusiastically at the approaching horses and carriage, looking like a puppy who just spotted his favorite humans. Matthew and Alan, arriving alongside the royal carriage that Blair used for her daily commute, waved back.

“Yo!” they called, stepping down with the kind of confidence only kids on a sugar rush could possess.

The three of them made their way inside the grand Wilderwood estate, chatting about everything and nothing, until they wandered into the training grounds.

There, before their very eyes, was none other than Madame Bunny di Sator, in all her black-haired, slightly chaotic glory. And in the process of being hauled onto a massive stallion—by the waist, no less—was her husband, Morgante di Sator. The man handled his wife like a sack of particularly valuable potatoes.

“Are you sure you can ride a horse?” Morgante—Burn—asked, clearly skeptical about her equestrian skills.

“Of course I can!” Bunny—Morgan—replied with absolute confidence. “Horses are good children. They listen so well to what I say or gesture.”

Morgante gave her a long look, the kind of look a man gives when he wants to argue but values his life too much to do so.

Just as the trio and Evan arrived at the field, Bunny was off, riding a lap around the grounds like she was auditioning for the role of ‘Regal Horse Queen.’

Morgante, however, had his attention diverted to the kids, and with the air of a man about to assign a Very Unfun Task, he asked, “I was wondering when you’d arrive. So, what are your plans?”

The boys and girl exchanged glances, mentally syncing up like some kind of hive mind before Evan announced, “Let’s play D&D! I want to join a campaign with you guys so bad!”

Blair smiled. “I want to try playing together too…”

“That sounds fun,” Matthew chimed in, while Alan’s nerd senses activated. His eyes practically sparkled with potential character sheet possibilities.

And then, like an unwelcome homework assignment, Morgante cut in. “But that can wait. Pick up a wooden sword. I want to test your moves.”

Cue immediate disappointment. The kids groaned, but they complied, running off to grab their wooden weapons. Well, almost all of them.

Blair, the only Vision Major in the group, was left standing there, her role in this apparent battle royale of bruises nonexistent. The 12-year-old girl pouted, hiding it like a seasoned professional in the art of sulking—until she felt a small, insistent nudge at her back.

Blair turned, only to be met with a beautiful tiny blonde gremlin, peering up at her with wide blue eyes, the kind that could convince an army to surrender on sight.

Blair gasped, stunned. “Oh my God—”

The small bundle of energy blinked up at her. “Sissy-law?”

Blair, whose brain had just short-circuited, was further ambushed by Evan suddenly appearing beside her. “Oh, you’ve met my baby sister,” he said casually.

Matthew and Alan, meanwhile, had synchronized heart attacks.

“You have a little sister?!” they both shouted, their jaws hitting the ground.

“Hello! Nemo. Three!” the tiny girl declared, proudly pointing at herself.

And that was it—the teens immediately crumbled under the sheer weight of how ridiculously cute she was. They cooed and squealed like a group of grandmas spotting a baby in a pumpkin costume.

Before anyone could recover, Nemo proved that she was not just adorable, but also a small, relentless force of chaos.

The tiny menace sprinted toward Morgante at full speed, scaled his pants like a particularly aggressive housecat, and demanded, “Papa! Up!”

Morgante, a fully grown and formidable man, had no choice. The laws of fatherhood dictated his response. He sighed in surrender, lifted her up with one arm like she weighed nothing, and settled her comfortably.

But the madness was far from over.

Because, of course, two grown men and a grandpa came barreling toward them like a chaotic cavalry charge.

“Nemo! So here’s where you ran up to…”

Enter Finn Wilderwood, looking slightly exasperated but mostly just resigned to his fate.

But wait—there was more.

One of the men, an old guy draped in suspiciously ominous black robes, glided toward them like he had a personal wind effect following him at all times. He was laughing, his voice warm and kind, with a hint of horror behind his red blood eyes.

“Hohoho, how energetic… Pops had to catch his breath.”

And then there was the last guy.

A seven-foot-tall, long-haired, menacingly handsome man with amber eyes. He was the human embodiment of a final boss fight, radiating Do Not Disturb energy so aggressively that even the air dared not brush against him too quickly.

Blair, Matthew, and Alan? Not okay.

They exchanged looks, unspoken confusion and alarm passing between them.

Who… were these men?

Meanwhile, Nemo, completely unfazed by the entrance, flung her little arms toward them with pure excitement.

“Pops! Uncles!” she cheered.

The old man—apparently Pops—reached for her first, and the transfer from Papa to Pops happened with ceremonial wholesomeness.

Evan, finally deciding to clear up their stunned confusion, gestured at the group.

“This is our Pops, Gran Gran Vlad, and our uncle, Isaiah,” he said. “They’re my family from Mama’s side.”

Matthew, Alan, and Blair took exactly three seconds to process this, then let out a synchronized, “Ohh…” and gave polite bows, because when you’re suddenly introduced to a terrifyingly cool grandpa and a human-sized intimidation tactic, you show respect.

What is this family, really?

Just as the Madame finished her lap around the field, she waved at the group in the background. “Welcome, guys!” she called cheerfully before continuing her next round.

Something, however, was very wrong.

Blair gasped, clamping her hands over her face but still peeking through her fingers, her face burning red. “What is that?!”

If even an innocent 12-year-old girl noticed, then of course, a group of fully grown men and teenage boys caught on one second earlier—and promptly wished they hadn’t.

The stallion… had a boner.

Whether it was because the rider was the most stunning woman to ever grace the earth, or because the rider was the most stunning woman to ever grace the earth, it happened.

A male is a male, okay?

Doesn’t matter if you’re human, dwarf, elf, dragon, unicorn, or—apparently—a horse. Dignity crumbles before beauty.

Sssshhh…

That was the sound of a sword being unsheathed.

Dark energy crackled around Morgante di Sator, whose blade was already in his hand before anyone could blink. “Lowly-ass donkey—”

“HOLD HIM!” Finn paled, moving first.

Evan lunged at his father’s waist, Isaiah grabbed his other arm, and Finn secured the remaining one in a desperate attempt to prevent immediate equine castration.

“Calm down, Papa!”

“Cease this, Brother!”

“Lord Sator, this stallion is an extremely rare and expensive breed! You can’t castrate him—”

“HE’S CLEARLY BEGGING FOR IT!” Morgante roared.

Meanwhile, Alan and Matthew scrambled to cover Blair’s eyes properly, as she was very much still peeking and very much still blushing. Vlad chuckled to himself, shaking his head as he shielded Nemo’s eyes in his arms.

And through all this?

The Madame happily trotted on, completely unaware that her mount had just risked its entire bloodline.

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