Who Designed This Underworld Dungeon?
Chapter 286 - 221 I Love Hell Jokes

Chapter 286: Chapter 221 I Love Hell Jokes

"Do you guys know ice cream? You put milk and sugar into an ice cream maker shaped like a rolling drum, then control the temperature with ice magic, and after spinning it for a while, you get this cold dessert."

"If you haven’t tried it, you should give it a go. Everyone loves ice cream."

"So, my question is: are humans an ice cream maker for dogs?"

"What the hell are you talking about! I give up, please just stop!"

Today, the square in Bed City is as crowded as usual, but something a bit different is taking place.

People have spontaneously cleared a circular space, where a fierce duel is underway.

There is no physical contact, just a pure verbal duel, relying solely on the participants’ wits to claim victory.

The victory conditions are simple: whatever you say, if you can leave your opponent speechless/unable to rebut/break their defense, or if the audience supports you the most, you automatically win.

Defending the challenge is an elf, yes, the very elf that arrived in Bed City some days ago.

With a slender, undeveloped body and thick, expressionless glasses, dominating this verbal duel like a boss is none other than the Three Nons Younger Sister from that group of elves.

"What a formidable lady she is, who’s up next? Someone needs to shut her up!"

"These arrogant elves have been messing around in the city these days; our dignity has been challenged, damn it, I must win!"

"I’ll go, I’m a well-experienced Bard!"

Watching the new victim step forward, the Three Nons Younger Sister pushes her glasses up, her demeanor as calm as an elder’s, she asked:

"What is the whitest thing owned by cotton-picking black ape slaves?"

"Heh, that’s easy," the Bard sneered, "Their teeth are the whitest."

"No, it’s their masters who are the whitest."

"What!?"

The Bard is shaken. The barbarians in the north are known for enslaving black apes, a type of Monster, for labor, and it is true that the barbarians have the fairest skin.

These words spoken by the elf hold great truth!

"Cough cough," the Bard coughs pretending to be composed, "Let’s talk about something more adult, shall we be a bit more mature?"

Perhaps due to Three Nons Younger Sister’s youthful appearance, he decides to shift the discussion to a more mature topic, such as...

"Alright." Three Nons Younger Sister nods, "How much Gold Coin do you earn each month?"

"Oh!" The crowd gasps, such a mature topic.

"What?" The Bard is startled, actually starting to calculate how much money he makes in a month, only to realize he just earns a few silver coins...

"Do you have debts?"

"Yes...."

"Have you paid them off?"

"..."

"Can you pay them off, will you borrow again, are the things you bought with borrowed money actually useful in life?"

"By the way, I own the patent for Hardening Potion, and I earn at least a few Gold Coins every month."

"Stop, stop, stop!"

The Bard, as if struck by air, turns pale and frantically waves his hands, regretting why he shifted the topic to maturity.

He couldn’t hold on anymore; indeed, the elf’s speech was potent, but...

"Let’s do one last comparison, a picture speech."

He pulled out a painting, saying, "This is drawn by my friend, showing an Earl’s guard comforting a child whose father died from driving a carriage while drunk. If you were this guard, how would you comfort this child? I’ll go first."

In the painting, the guard holds the wailing child, pointing to something out of the scene, apparently trying to distract the child’s attention from the crashed carriage behind them.

"Oh, my poor child, please don’t worry, your father made a mistake, but you shouldn’t bear his error. I shall fulfill a Holy Light believer’s duty and take care of you until you are grown, letting you...—"

The Bard spoke melodramatically, and midway, he even started singing like a Bollywood musical, his singing skill was indeed good.

But it felt like his words were rather clichéd and stale.

Patiently waiting for the Bard to finish singing, the Three Nons Elf mimicked the guard’s gesture and said blandly:

"See, that’s the orphanage you’ll be staying in."

"Pfft—"

Someone in the crowd who was drinking water just sprayed it out.

Church followers lifted their heads, disbelievingly staring at the elf, trembling as they murmured prayers.

Some clapped their thighs laughing, and with someone taking the lead, more laughter followed.

"You, you, you...." The Bard pointed at her, speechless, shocked that such a cute kid could utter such cold words.

And this wasn’t really consoling, was it? Are you sure the child wouldn’t opt for skydiving after hearing your words!?

This doesn’t meet the conditions, although you made people laugh the loudest, it doesn’t meet the conditions!

He was just about to argue when suddenly a desperate scream was heard.

"Lizna! What are you doing?"

"Oh?" The elf known as Lizna turned to the source of the voice, and the crowd looked that way too.

However, everyone only felt a gust of wind passing by, and in the blink of an eye, not only did they fail to see who had called out, but Lizna also vanished.

"Was that a ghost?"

"Did you guys feel that the voice just now sounded familiar? Like we’ve heard it somewhere."

"Ss, it really felt like Steeran."

"It’s not just like, it is her!"

Ignoring the crowd’s noise, that gust swept through the streets and alleys, finally stopping in a dimly lit alley.

"Huff, huff...."

Steeran breathed heavily, her pretty face flushed as she bent down grabbing Lizna’s slender shoulders, shaking her, "What were you saying just now, how could you say such things in public!"

"But they seemed to enjoy it," Lizna stated expressionlessly, "Also, you’re hurting me."

"Ah, sorry!"

Steeran took two steps back and suddenly realized it was the other party who should be apologizing. Making hell jokes in broad daylight would certainly lower the overall impression of the Elf Clan!

How could such a person be one of my kind? This is embarrassing!

Thus, she glared at Lizna angrily, trying to intimidate her into submission with her gaze.

But the other party simply took off her glasses, returning an indifferent stare that seemed to say "Let the strong be strong, the gentle breeze brushes the hillside."

Eventually, Steeran was the first to surrender.

"Ah," she sighed. "Where are the others? How did you arrive so quickly..."

"I’ve been here for a while."

Lizna sized her up and spoke. "You’re still the same as before, never daring to look me in the eye when you talk. Haven’t you overcome your inferiority complex yet?"

"That’s because your dead-fish eyes are too frightening."

"Think of it as your complex then, it’s fine. I’m here to help you. Clearing the Dungeon should restore your confidence, right?"

"I appreciate it... but I’ve already cleared it, so you can go back to where you came from."

"Really?" Lizna clearly didn’t believe her, pointing to Steeran’s ragged clothes. "Then how do you explain this disheveled look, even your waist is exposed, so shameless. If you can’t afford more fabric, I could lend you some."

"This is normal attire outside the forest! It’s called being sexy, sexy!"

"With those two small mounds of yours?"

"Uh..."

Steeran fell silent all of a sudden, never able to win an argument against the other, and was probably on the verge of tears if this continued.

Lizna’s lips curled into a pixel-like smile as she walked forward with her book, "Let’s go see Aunt Vienma, everyone is waiting for you."

"Hmm..."

"But first change your clothes, your waist and calves are all exposed, it’s too indecent."

"I told you it’s normal attire!"

The two continued their walk while gathering the "wandering" elves.

They found Mercar drunk in the tavern, an elf cool dude performing with a drama troupe, an elf gourmet stealing potted plants house by house, they found...

In short, everyone had to bicker with Steeran since everyone who came so far to Bed City was a foe from her past.

Darn, doesn’t any friend come to see me? Steeran thought with a trace of desolation.

Finally, when they gathered all the scattered elves, like collecting the seven Dragon Balls...I mean, after gathering all displaced elves, Lizna led Steeran to a grand mansion, which the elves had rented temporarily.

Housing these twenty-plus elves was totally enough, but most were hardly ever home at night, wondered what they were up to.

"Is Aunt Vienma here..."

Steeran was nervous; Vienma was gentle towards her, but was very strict at times, making her both love and fear her. She’d rather bicker with Lizna all day than meet this aunt.

But eventually, she had to face it and resignedly pushed open the door.

As the door swung open, the fragrance of flowers rushed into her nostrils, instantly revitalizing her spirit.

Vienma sat on the sofa right across from the door, a graceful posture flipping through Roger’s manuscript, lifting her head slightly upon hearing noise.

"Aunt..."

Steeran managed a smile with difficulty, wishing for someone she could rely on, yet the surroundings were desolate.

Vienma looked her over, her lips parting lightly:

"How come you’re dressed so indecently?"

"..."

Most of the Elf Clan held conservative views.

Steeran was tired of explaining how her close-fitting leather armor that exposed only her waist and calves was actually quite conservative among adventurers, and blurted out:

"I learned magic that increases defense power the less I wear."

"Is that so." Vienma nodded, then bent down to pull out three leaves from under her skirt.

"Wear these, they have higher defense."

Steeran dared not move as she could see Aunt’s anger stirring due to her fib.

"I’ll help you put them on." Vienma’s sleeves stretched out two flexible vines ready to strip her clothes off, and Steeran quickly gave in.

"I was wrong, Aunt!"

"Hmm."

Moments later, the hall was packed with elves, Steeran at the center of everyone’s gaze, never feeling so pressured.

For a moment, she even thought of running away.

Then Vienma spoke.

"Steeran."

"Here!" Steeran jumped.

"Relax, no need to be so tense. I’ve heard about your active performance from President Ceder, very good, you didn’t embarrass your mother."

Vienma’s gaze turned gentle. "I know how dangerous that Dungeon was, yet you still achieved something there, you must be tired."

It’s just physical tiredness, but you all make my heart weary. Steeran dared only think this in her heart.

"I bring greetings from the queen—your mother."

Vienma took out a green envelope, just as Steeran was about to receive it, she suddenly changed the topic.

"But before that, shall we talk about Sain?"

Talk about Sain? Why talk about that, I’ve already cleared it, no need for you guys to go—

"I’m very interested in that place."

Vienma smiled. "If possible, could you guide us there? I haven’t been active for a while, it would be nice to visit somewhere interesting."

Steeran’s expression could only be described as stunned; she didn’t expect that her scouting in the Lake District would really come in handy.

This could be her chance to shine in front of her foes, but she had to give a warning first:

"It’s hell up ahead..."

Getting involved with Sain, one only encounters miserable experiences!

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