Welcome to Rewind World Game
Chapter 561 - 558: "...Don’t be crazy.

Chapter 561: Chapter 558: "...Don’t be crazy.

Noel vaguely remembered the "Lighthouse Theory" that Su Ming’an had once spoken about.

Long ago, Su Ming’an had proposed this theory. Although many of its ideas still seemed simplistic, some parts had been substantiated in the world of gaming, demonstrating remarkable foresight.

From the bottom of his heart, Noel admired Su Ming’an, this student who had just graduated from high school. He had barely lifted his head from the textbooks on math and English when he suddenly changed roles and stepped onto the world’s stage.

If nothing had happened, Su Ming’an would have been just like any other typical freshman in Dragon Country, joining clubs, slacking in elective courses, cramming for finals, pulling all-nighters to meet deadlines, and going between the cafeteria, classrooms, and library. Occasionally, he would have the time to go for team-building activities, eat barbecued food, and stay up all night at Internet cafes.

He should have had a familiar club president, teammates he collaborated with, a counselor who looked after him, and even a girl in class that he liked.

Noel remembered that Su Ming’an liked to play board games and murder mystery games, and he was interested in youth adventure clubs and enjoyed reading philosophy and detective novels.

If the game had never started, he should have been safe at a table, playing murder mystery games with his college peers, even playing more horror games and indie games, editing videos, live streaming... until he became a famous influencer.

There would be no life-or-death crises, no physical pain from blades, no mental torture from delusional breakdowns... He wouldn’t descend into madness, wouldn’t collapse, wouldn’t even lose sleep.

... Instead of being here, in front of the entire world, amidst the expectations and accusations of many ignorant people, under the not-so-good intentions and keen gazes of higher organisms, playing such an extremely dangerous, reality-based "murder mystery game" as though walking a tightrope on the verge of collapse.

It’s just not fair.

The world is too heavy, stuck too deep in the mire, already too difficult to pull out, with a descent nearly irreversible.

Noel didn’t want to be like Su Ming’an, it was just too exhausting. He only wanted to be a free sun, illuminating those around him.

—But in this foul and murky world, is there really a utopia?

He could save one, but not all.

He could save for a moment, but not for a lifetime.

These truths, not only applicable in the world replicas, are the same in reality.

... There are simply no happy endings for everyone, someone inevitably must sacrifice; that’s reality, reality is no fairy tale.

Noel stretched out his hand, as if catching the sunlight falling upon him.

The light outlined his slender fingers, as if kissing the palm of his hand.

... Even though just an hour ago, it had been stained with a child’s blood.

"Death doesn’t spare anyone, whether they are children, the elderly, the vulnerable or those unwilling to accept," Noel murmured: "... I teach them to grow, provide them the strength to stand up—from now on, their future will be decided only by their own ability and luck, not by the ways of this world."

"Once they decide to strive for this piece of land, no matter their identity, no matter their age—"

He turned his head and looked at Su Ming’an, dressed in black.

His lips moved slightly, the corners of his eyes drooping, sketching a weary smile.

"... I will satisfy them."

"No one is a mere accessory."

"I help them..." he whispered softly: "—become the person they aspire to be."

In the crux of human crisis, morality takes a back seat.

Just like during ancient famines, it wasn’t uncommon for people to exchange their children for food. To survive, many things could be forsaken.

Children only see the kindness of people like Noel, knowing they must earn points by their own efforts to save their loved ones, but they don’t understand the mental and growth costs involved.

It’s also hard to judge whether involving children in these bloody and insane instances is good or bad.

Like blank pages, the future of humanity decades later—these children, having been exposed too early to corruption, some of them might turn out to be as insane and cruel as Bonnie, who burnt people for fun.

The world game is adept at altering human nature, holding it in contempt.

It can make the calm go insane, the cowardly brave, the selfish selfless, the kind cruel.

It makes people... no longer like themselves.

Just like the current Su Ming’an compared to Su Ming’an from three months ago, they were completely two different people.

During Noel’s speech, Su Ming’an remained silent.

He quietly watched Noel confess, watched as Noel spoke in an extremely calm manner, pouring out feelings of frustration and rage that were on the verge of bursting.

When Noel calmed down, Su Ming’an did not judge his views but simply said—

"...Don’t go mad."

Noel was stunned, his eyes slightly moving, staring at Su Ming’an.

"...What?"

He said softly.

"Don’t go mad," Su Ming’an repeated, "You... don’t go mad."

This was already the most appropriate thing to say.

The immense psychological pressure, the heavy negative emotions, the despair of seeing no future...One negative thing after another weighed on them, these frontline players, suffocating them.

Su Ming’an had gradually understood why Noel called him here today.

Noel wasn’t here to ask for his opinion about these kids, nor was it about any collaborative matters.

...Noel was seeking help.

Complaining, confiding, exploding, venting dissatisfaction, struggling.

Noel was struggling between lines of painful moral decisions, struggling on the brink of collapse.

Guilt, powerlessness, anger, despair...

Su Ming’an almost forgot.

Players like them... were almost insane.

—Noel was clearly seeking help from him.

Because Noel himself was also on the verge of collapse.

Previously, Su Ming’an always thought that Noel was very good at regulating his mental state, emphasizing "playing games with a smile," whose smile always as warm as the sun, touching countless people.

Noel’s nature was extremely passionate and optimistic, as if nothing could depress or sadden him, always able to maintain a happy-go-lucky mood.

...But where in the world could such a person exist.

As long as one has emotions, one will definitely be impacted by the world. This influence is pervasive and can quickly worsen a person’s state, especially since Noel was a person inclined towards kindness and order, he felt an even deeper sense of oppression.

In the absence of medication for mental health and without suitable psychologists, Noel treated him as a mental buffer.

Noel was seeking help from him.

Seeking help through confiding.

Because perhaps only he could stand on the same level and understand Noel.

"Noel. Edward has already gone mad, I don’t want you to become the next," Su Ming’an said, "Don’t put too much pressure on yourself, no one will blame you."

"..." Noel’s fingers trembled slightly.

Light spots condensed on his eyelashes, like a strand of a dazzling spark.

He blinked, and suddenly his eyes turned completely red.

"...Su Ming’an, what should I do..." he suddenly said.

As if all defenses suddenly collapsed, the smile that was always on his face disappeared, and those sea-blue eyes began to tremble intensely.

Moist reflections of water shimmered in his eyes.

"... Our mental state as top-ranked players ... we simply won’t last until the end of the game...

"The total progress bar is only at 30.1%, 30.1%! And there are still nine months to go... We’re already barely holding on..."

"Humanity is almost out of future, we’re nearly collapsing... The terrifying part is that we can’t disclose this at all, we can’t even spread this panic, we can only maintain this seemingly optimistic status quo..."

"Herbert must have known about this, which is why he voluntarily left the player status. He must have known we couldn’t keep going, including himself... That’s why he left everything behind and departed..."

"I’m out of options myself, I can barely hold on anymore. Last night when I closed my eyes, all I saw were hallucinations, everything I see when walking is grayish-white—I can’t see colors anymore! Can’t see them..."

His body trembled violently, his eyes red and brimming with a thin layer of moisture.

The fantasy style of the New World Guild was designed according to his personal tastes. He liked this colorful, reflective brilliance of each item.

Colorful buildings, painted glass, dazzling glazed roofs... everything was dreamlike and beautiful.

But now, these colors he had specifically designed,

—he couldn’t see any of them himself.

"...I can’t hold on much longer, I know this myself."

Noel inhaled deeply, "but, Su Ming’an, I want to tell you, you mustn’t go mad... you can’t go mad... You are the last person who should go mad. Edward has gone mad, Mizushima Kawa Sora is nearly mad, and I’m almost mad... but you are the only one who absolutely mustn’t go mad, no matter how painful, how much you can’t endure... You just can’t go mad..."

We’ve given you the most painful, most impossible tasks, the heaviest responsibilities... You absolutely can’t go mad, no matter how painful, how much you can’t hold on...

"Sorry, sorry, sorry... We demand this of you, but we are out of options. I... I can’t do anything now..."

The mask of his bright smile finally fell away, revealing a face full of tear tracks.

His eyes were red, his face covered in a fog-like sadness that wouldn’t clear, like a circus clown who had finally taken off his disguise.

The comedian, who loved to make others laugh, now had an irreparable sadness in his own eyes.

Su Ming’an had never seen Noel like this before.

On this day, after the conclusion of the Eighth World, Noel showed a scene he had never shown before, like a survivor in a shipwreck clinging to a plank.

...Even so, Noel only showed this side here, to him alone, without spreading the panic elsewhere.

Even Noel’s closest companions couldn’t know about this; they could only see the radiant sunshine of him as the president of the New World, inspired by his adventurous spirit rushing towards the universe, infected by his optimism.

Who could see what the other side of the sun looks like?

Noel’s hands slowly dropped, his shoulders slight, like a child’s, unknowable that he was actually six years older than Su Ming’an.

"I won’t go mad," Su Ming’an said, looking into Noel’s eyes.

He reached out and touched Noel’s shoulder.

No matter how much pain, how much he couldn’t bear, how desperate... Su Ming’an believed he would not go mad.

...Even if the final outcome is indeed a tragedy, even if nothing can be salvaged...he would control himself not to go mad.

His hands gently loosened, not with much force, but in a composed manner, signaling to Noel, promising—

[Even if everyone else goes mad, he will be the only one sane among the mad.]

In a world where madness reigns, this is absurd, overambitious, against the current.

It doesn’t matter; they were "monsters" anyway.

Feared by regular players, shunned by casual players, watched warily by the leadership... they were indeed a group of monsters struggling for themselves.

The curse named madness runs through everyone, pervasive, but before the final explosion, they all have the right to breathe each breath of fresh air.

As long as they can overthrow that Black Wall.

To overturn that—created by high-dimensional beings, isolating them from their native land, Zhai Xing.

Before that, before seeing the final outcome, before seeing the apocalypse, they will fight to breathe every bit of air, that’s human.

Struggling hideously, living humbly, enduring extreme pain just to survive to the end, gasping for breath to strive for a perfect outcome, that’s human.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry..."

Noel kept apologizing.

He really didn’t need to apologize.

"If you can’t hold on, just rest," said Su Ming’an. "The Ninth World, the Tenth World... take a rest for a World, it’s okay, the gap in strength won’t be that big, we are not lacking in progress, but we are afraid that the collapse of top-ranked players would cause a cliff-like fall in points."

"...And you?" Noel said.

Su Ming’an looked down, looking at the back of his hand.

White pattern marks flowed like water on his hand back.

The Pattern Mark of a Perfect Pass was complete without a single gap.

"I’m in good condition," he said.

He lifted his eyelids.

Colorful glass decorations reflected before him, the brilliance dazzlingly bright.

And yet, his vision was still clouded with persistent gray.

"...What about the Ninth World Intelligence?" After a moment of silence, he said.

Before each World Replica activation, Noel, in his role as a Watcher, would bring him the intelligence of the next World.

By asking this, he also clearly indicated he had no intention to rest.

After hesitating for a moment, Noel showed him the information.

Su Ming’an lowered his gaze.

The panel unfolded before his eyes, still shadowed by an unwavering gray tone.

...

[Ninth World·City of Measurement·Acto]

[World Type: Global Open-Type Mass Replica, Specific Development Class Replica]

[Key Prop: AI]

[Essential Completions: Synchronized with human "Evolution," walking alongside World Time.]

[World Elements: Collapse, Reconstruction, Evolution, Intelligence, Wasteland, Creation, Adaption, Dual Line Time Flow, Ship of Theseus]

["I will bring it down from the Sanctuary to realize the world of our dreams."

"From this point onward,"

"No one should fear or worry about the approaching night."

"..."

"Doctor."

"Actually, my greatest regret is seeing you through the screen."]

...

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