Unintended Immortality
Chapter 473: Wenpingzi Visits Again

Chapter 473: Wenpingzi Visits Again

Huo Erniu kept his head lowered, eyes cautiously raised, his heart filled with unease as he stole a glance at the immortal. But to his surprise, the immortal did not seem intent on punishing him immediately. Instead, he smiled and asked, “Have you been enjoying yourself these past few days?”

This was different from all his previous dreams.

In his past dreams, no matter how good-tempered the immortal was, he would at least scold him after reclaiming the bamboo staff, warning him never to do such a thing again. The bad-tempered ones would curse him harshly or even transform him into a pig or a dog.

The most terrifying dream had been the one two nights ago—where the immortal had merely waved his horsetail whisk, and his soul had been shattered on the spot, condemned to eternal damnation.

Confused but cautious, Huo Erniu still answered honestly, “These past days, with your treasure in hand, I have traveled the land exorcising demons and ghosts. The local villagers and high-ranking officials alike treated me as an honored guest, welcoming and hosting me with great hospitality....”

“You obtained a treasure, gained fame, and even reaped tangible rewards—you've gotten everything you once wished for. So why, then, do you feel uneasy?”

“I... I don’t know.”

“Then let it be.”

The Daoist immediately stopped his questioning. Instead, he gently stroked the bamboo staff and spoke, “You have indeed done some good by exorcising demons these past days. However, the fact remains that stealing my bamboo staff was wrong.

“This staff was given to me many years ago when I passed through Anqing. I encountered an old friend from my sect who treated me with great hospitality, and before I left, I asked him for this staff as a gift. It has since accompanied me across countless mountains and rivers—I have long formed an attachment to it.

“During the days you had taken it, whether I was out buying vegetables or stepping beyond the city to enjoy the spring scenery, I constantly felt as if something was missing.”

The Daoist paused and lifted his gaze to meet Huo Erniu’s.

“Tell me, what should be done about this?”

“If you wish to punish me, then let it be!”

“And how should I punish you? Should I do it myself, or would you prefer to go to the authorities and receive your punishment there?”

“...”

Huo Erniu’s eyes darted quickly as his mind raced.

Over the past few days, he had interacted with county officials in several of the surrounding regions. Even without the bamboo staff, he had genuinely helped them exorcise demons and bring peace to their jurisdictions, earning them political merit.

If he were to go to one of these county offices to be punished, the magistrate would likely only go through the motions—perhaps a symbolic punishment, a few light strikes with a rod, nothing that would truly hurt.

Even if they took it seriously, what was the worst that could happen? He had stolen a mere staff—it wasn’t as if he had committed a grave crime.

And besides, his skin was thick—he wasn’t afraid of a little beating.

“I...”

Huo Erniu was just about to agree—

But the moment he opened his mouth, he stopped himself.

Going to the county for punishment would indeed be the easier option. Even if he got beaten until his skin was bruised, it was still better than being turned into a pig or a dog. But in doing so, wouldn’t he utterly disgrace himself? And after that, could he still hold his head high as Huo Erniu, the great demon-slaying hero?

“You may decide my punishment, Immortal Master.”

Who said a fool couldn’t weigh his options? He had considered them thoroughly—he just didn’t accept them.

“You asked for this yourself.”

“Yes! Yes, I did!” Huo Erniu gritted his teeth and declared, “Even if you turn me into a pig or a dog, even if I am struck until my soul is scattered, I will accept it!”

“I am no immortal—just a wandering Daoist of the mountains. And I do not possess any magic to turn people into pigs or dogs. If I were to shatter your soul over a moment of greed, over the theft of a mere bamboo staff, then how would I be any different from the demons and evil spirits you have been fighting?” The Daoist spoke calmly.

“However, since you have stolen from me and refuse to go to the county office, I must still punish you.”

“Yes, yes, yes...!”

“Then let it be this—for three days, you shall not eat. You may drink water, but should you attempt to eat, you will vomit it all back up. For one month, you shall not speak. You may open your mouth, but no sound will come out. For one year, you shall not drink wine. Should you drink, your stomach will twist in agony, as if cut by knives.”

“This...”

Huo Erniu was stunned.

This was... a punishment?

A man of the jianghu, with no great wit, relying only on brute strength. How could he possibly have lived an easy life?

When work was available, he could eat well—meat, wine, hearty meals. But when there was none, he had to go down to the river to do hard labor, living off watery porridge and steamed cakes. And during slow seasons, when even labor work was scarce, most people would seek out their drinking buddies, hoping for a shared meal, some mutual aid.

But Huo Erniu? He often couldn't bring himself to beg for help. Going hungry for two or three days was nothing new to him.

A month of silence would be unpleasant—he was a loudmouth who loved to brag.

But if he didn’t need to keep his own mouth shut—if he could at least open his mouth to speak, even without making a sound—it would have been much more bearable.

A year without drinking, though—that was the hardest part. For men of the jianghu, their joys were found in wine.

“...”

Huo Erniu opened his mouth, wanting to bargain—perhaps to ask the immortal to shorten the sentence or change the punishment. But then he remembered—he had stolen the staff that night because he had been drunk.

So he swallowed his words back down.

“Thank you, Immortal!”

The Daoist smiled slightly and continued, “This is merely my punishment for you—solely for the act of stealing my bamboo staff, for depriving me of it when I needed it.”

“...”

Huo Erniu blinked in confusion, opening his mouth to ask something. But he found that no sound came out.

“Once you have endured this punishment, I will not pursue the matter any further, nor will anyone else. However, a wrong is still a wrong. If you feel uneasy about it—if you wish to rid yourself of the guilt weighing on your heart—I can offer you some advice.”

“...”

Huo Erniu mouthed silent words, unable to make a sound. With no other choice, he simply nodded, again and again.

“If it is your heart that feels unsettled, then know this—wrongdoings can often be mended through good deeds.” The Daoist spoke in a soothing tone, as if to comfort him. “Tonight’s heavy rain has poured fiercely, destroying many trees on the mountains, blocking the roads. Mudslides have collapsed sections of the paths. If you truly wish to ease your heart, then go and repair the roads.”

“...”

“Of course, this is your own choice—whether you do it or not, whether you take it seriously or not, is entirely up to you.”

“...”

“I must take my bamboo staff back. There are still endless li ahead, and I will continue to rely on it.”

“...”

The Daoist lifted the bamboo staff, smiling at him faintly.

Then, in an instant, the temple was plunged into darkness. So dark that one couldn't even see their own hand in front of them.

“Boom!”

A thunderclap exploded in the sky, deafeningly loud.

Huo Erniu suddenly realized that all the sounds outside had returned—the howling wind, the pouring rain, the crashing of falling rocks, the splintering of trees. Everything was back—except for the sound of burning firewood.

A streak of lightning tore through the sky, illuminating the ruined temple in a stark, blinding glow.

It was still the same temple.

The broken, tattered deity statue, the faded and filthy wind-worn robe, the spiderwebs in the corners swaying violently under the assault of wind and rain.

And in the center of the temple—there was no fire. Not even a trace of it.

Huo Erniu found himself curled up beneath the deity's platform, lying on his side, just now startled awake by the thunder. He sat up abruptly.

Another dream?

Dazed, he groped around beside him, searching for the jade-green bamboo staff—but it was gone.

“...”

He opened his mouth to speak—no sound came out.

“Rumble, rumble, rumble...”

The thunder from that earlier lightning strike finally arrived, rolling across the sky.

Huo Erniu shuddered, feeling as if the thunder had struck directly into his heart.

And in that moment, he finally understood.

***

In a courtyard in Yangdu, the rain still poured.

The Daoist pushed open the window and sat on his bed, silently watching the heavy downpour outside, breathing in the damp night air.

Beside him, a calico cat lay curled up, while a swallow perched on the windowsill, staring intently at the rain.

The rain struck the ground, creating a misty haze. The air was cool and damp, and even the bedding beneath him was damp and slightly chilly, pressing comfortably against his skin.

Though the night was refreshingly cool, the rain and the shifting weather already carried the breath of summer.

“It’s Lixia—the Beginning of Summer[1].”

Song You murmured softly.

At the sound of his voice, the cat immediately turned its head, casting him a curious glance. But just then, something caught her eye in the corner of the room.

Leaning against the wall was a jade-green bamboo staff.

“Eh?” The calico cat immediately locked onto the bamboo staff, eyes wide with curiosity. “How did your staff come back?”

“I retrieved it.”

“When?”

“Last night.”

“Was it when I was reading and writing?”

“No.”

“Was it when I was practicing magic?”

“It was when you were asleep.”

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“Because I didn’t go either.”

“I don’t understand...”

Song You reached out and stroked her back. At first touch, her fur was cold from the damp air, but as he pressed his hand down, he could feel the warmth of her body underneath.

“Have you finished editing your travelogue? Once it’s done, we can take it to the Liao family and have them print it into a book for you.”

“I’m almost done.”

“Once it’s ready, we should be on our way.”

“Then should I hurry or take my time?”

“Just let fate decide.”

“I don’t understand...”

Suddenly, Song You said, “There’s a guest outside.”

“Meow?”

The cat turned its head and stared at him.

Outside, the rain was relentless, a noisy downpour. The thick moisture in the air obscured all scents, and even her keen senses hadn’t detected anyone approaching.

But when she listened carefully, amid the pitter-patter of rain, she could hear something—

A dull, rhythmic sound, subtly different from the rest of the rain. It sounded like raindrops falling onto the surface of an umbrella.

“How did you know?”

“Just a guess.”

“How did you guess?”

“It’s hard to explain.”

“You’re not smart!”

The cat huffed and turned her head back toward the courtyard, her full attention focused outside.

That dull, rhythmic sound was growing closer.

“Knock knock knock...”

Just then, a knocking sound echoed from the door.

Before the Daoist could make a move, the calico cat twisted and leaped down from the bed, her voice light and full of energy.

“I will get the door!”

By the time she reached the courtyard, she was no longer a cat but a little girl dressed in a tricolored robe, a bamboo hat perched on her head.

“Creak...”

She pulled open the wooden door.

The little girl lifted her head high.

Standing outside was an elderly Daoist, holding an aged, yellowed oil-paper umbrella. The thick, sturdy paper resisted the rain, the drops drumming against it with a muffled thup, thup sound.

“Lady Calico, greetings.”

“Wenpingzi, greetings.”

“Forgive this unannounced visit...”

“Come in quickly! It’s raining outside!”

“Thank you...”

Though small in stature, the little girl carried herself with the presence of a proper host. She ushered Wenpingzi inside, closed the door behind him, and slid the latch securely into place. Then, leading the elderly Daoist through the courtyard, she took him straight into the main hall.

The Daoist was already waiting there.

“Wenpingzi has arrived!”

Lady Calico called out to the Daoist before heading toward the kitchen to scoop water for washing her feet.

1. Lìxià is the 7th solar term according to the traditional Chinese lunisolar calendar, which divides a year into 24 solar terms . Lixia signifies the beginning of summer in Chinese culture, and due to the importance of summer in the agrarian society of ancient China, the day is associated with many cultural traditions, which vary by region. ☜

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