Transmigrated Into The Body Of The Cursed Prince Wife
Chapter 182: His letter

Chapter 182: His letter

Ave ran into her room and closed the door behind her. She walked to the bed at the same time she tried to unfold the letter. Sitting down at the edge of the bed with her heart humming in excitement and anticipation of what was written in the letter, she unfolded it, and the first line she read brought a smile to her tear-streaked face and brightened her blue eyes.

[To my lovely wife, Aveline.

Though you might not consider a jerk like me as your husband, I hope you can find it in your kind heart to forgive this asshole of a husband who can’t seem to stop his feelings for you despite the words you spoke the night before...]

Ave read that part and laughed through her tears at the fact that he was using all the words she had used to insult him to address himself in the letter. She cursed him for the emotions he was bringing in her and continued to read the letter with a foolish smile on her face.

[I hope that brought a smile to your face, my love. If that didn’t work as I hoped it would, I hope this will then, even though it pains me to say it: the most annoying asshole of your life is gone, he is off to a war and he doesn’t know what awaits him there or if he’ll return soon enough to hold his wife to sleep in his bed. If my presence irritates you and causes you any kind of displeasure, it will be your greatest pleasure to know that you won’t have to put up with me, at least for now. Did that make you smile?]

That made her cry even more. Ave clutched the letter to her chest and sobbed like a child whose favorite toy was snatched away from her. If it had been before, perhaps that would have made her smile and jump happily, but now that she realized just how much she had messed up yesterday and rejected his confession, she cried. She should have just told him how she felt even though she had her doubts that she was feeling this way because of the body she possessed, but she had gone on and acted like a total fool because of her jealousy and doubt that whatever he did was for the sake of the body she was possessing and not the soul residing in it.

Ave resumed reading the letter while she fought to calm herself down to focus.

[If that didn’t make you smile, as I prayed it wouldn’t, my dear wife, then I hope my attempt at poetry will.

If your eyes were the sun, I would continue to stare at them. Even if it cost me my vision, for I would know the last thing I saw was perfection.

I see you through your eyes, not the body you possess, Aveline.

Ave stared at the letter for a whole minute with a teary smile on her face as she reread the part again and again. Though she possessed this body, her eyes had changed long ago to her original light blue eyes rather than Selene’s deep blue eyes, and she had feared the first time that if anyone noticed it, they would suspect something was off. But when she saw how no one had pointed it out, she had come to believe that only she saw the changes in color in her reflection, but it turned out Lucian also saw it. Was that why he always stared into her eyes whenever they were close? Was that why he’d told her once that she had the most beautiful eyes he’d ever seen?

Ave thought as she continued to read the letter.

[I wrote this letter to tell you that while I am away, I want you to stay clear of Edward, the Empress’s brother. If possible, do not show yourself before him, nor step into the main palace while he might be around. If you have any questions about this, I will answer them when I am back with you. Take care of yourself and eat whatever you please. You are now in charge of my home.

From your dear husband, asshole.]

The letter ended there, and Ave stared at it as she tried to think about why he’d warned her to stay clear of Edward. But then, recalling how she had been set up to sleep with that ambassador, she figured Lucian must be worried and decided to listen to him. She smiled at the "asshole" he wrote, folded the letter, and pressed her lips against it.

Her lips lingered on it as she inhaled the faint scent of Lucian lingering on the paper before she put it under her pillow at the same time Lydia walked into the room with teary eyes. "My lady, are you all right?" she asked, concerned for her mistress as she had never seen her look so broken like she had a while ago, but she was taken aback when she noticed that her mistress was now beaming from ear to ear.

Ave was done crying as she had gotten the assurance she needed in that letter. She leapt to her feet and grabbed Lydia’s hand, without a care in the world she began to spin them around the room, laughing as she said, "I can’t believe this, Lydia!" She had thought he liked her because of the body she possessed, but it seemed there was something of her original body that made him love her—her eyes! Her new husband liked her eyes!

Ave felt like jumping and running to meet him at the battle, but she knew better than to do that. He had promised to return, and she was going to count down the days until he would return. She thought as she continued to spin around with Lydia in the room, however, a thought suddenly crossed her mind and she let go of Lydia’s hands and they both went falling back in different angles from the dizziness after the spin. Lydia went crashing onto the lounge chair in the room while Ave fell on the floor.

Before her eyes could focus again after the spinning around, she realized she needed another spell book. However, this time not because she wanted to go away but because she wanted to fix something. Before Lucian would return, she would like to look for ways to be able to make him see her in her true body if possible, where he would see what she truly looked like. If he were to still love her as he claimed after seeing her true face, then she might reconsider her life plan entirely; she might consider giving married life a second thought here before the fate that brought her here took her back to her time.

However, while she would be looking for ways to do so, she had to also keep in mind that she had many responsibilities on her head. First, she needed to begin her preparation to cook those dishes for the mother queen in exchange for the Chen Kingdom’s support of Lucian, and second, she had to keep her mind busy from worrying about how Lucian must be doing on the battlefield or if he would return, and when.

He was the reason she was beginning to consider an outrageous thought that would never have crossed her mind before: the thought of being with him until he no longer needed her anymore, or until she was thrust back to her time like she had been in this time. She was going to be at his side until he took the throne, and perhaps after that, he would realize she wasn’t that special after all and that there was nothing to like about her.

Ave decided to remove those thoughts from her mind to avoid dampening her mood, and she also dared not try to wonder what would happen if anyone were to know about her marriage to him—not to mention when they were all expecting him to return and take Princess Madeline as his bride. Was he going to still marry Madeline as well?

Lydia recovered from her dizziness and stood up as she grabbed her head with a smile at the fact that her mistress was no longer sad. "My lady, let me go and prepare your bath." She beamed and left the room with unsteady steps.

Ave glanced at the closed door and then back at her wrist. She smiled bitterly at the sight of the cut and bracelet. "Come back soon before my feelings for you waver..." she muttered. She had never been in love before, and she suspected if it was possible to still love or like someone you don’t get to see or talk to every day. She was the kind to overthink things, and she didn’t want to overthink to the point of convincing herself about the way she felt about Lucian.

Sighing silently to herself, Ave began to get up from the floor when her eyes fell on something at the corner of the vanity table. At first, she thought it was the shadows playing tricks with her eyes, but later on, she realized it wasn’t. Something brown was sticking out of the corner of the brown vanity table. Without hesitation, she reached out and pulled it out.

Ave’s eyes rounded when she saw what it was. It was Selene’s diary which she had been searching for all this while but hadn’t been able to find despite the fact that she had looked and searched every nook of the chamber days ago.

The diary had a brown hardened cover with a yellowish string wrapped around it to keep the pages secure. Getting off the floor, Ave walked to the bed in a hurry. Her curiosity to know more about the owner of the body she possessed had been long piqued, and it seemed she might get to know her better through her diary.

Loosening the strings, Ave opened the first page of the diary, which happened to be written in a poetic way. She read through it with a frown settling on her forehead.

"The second dawn of my six and ten years in this world," was written at the top of the page, which meant Selene had written this three years ago when she was sixteen...

’Who am I,

wandering paths that know no end,

Seeking places where roots lie deep

but feeling only dust beneath my feet?

I drift through days and years,

like a cloud without a sky,

always watching, just outside,

like a passerby in my own life.

Am I a shadow,

cast by lights I cannot see?

Or just a note, left unheard,

a quiet hum between melodies?

Why can’t I rest,

or call some place my own?

Why do I ache for things unseen,

a longing carved in my bones and soul?

If I’m meant to belong,

where is the home I’ve never known?

Or am I only meant to roam—

a question, still unfolding?"

After Ave finished reading that page, she stared at it blankly for a while. If she were to interpret this in ways of her understanding, it seemed Selene suffered from trying to fit into her own world. And this conclusion made her have a bad feeling about something, but to confirm, she decided to open another page and read. Just like the first one, it was poetic but didn’t say much about what Ave wanted to know; she was writing about the moon and the sky and how beautiful they were.

Ave flipped through the pages, reading more poetic words and reading about what Selene thought about the third prince. She even wrote how she had aborted the third prince’s child on his words, and that part made Ave angry and disgusted. Reading more poetic nonsense about the third prince made her roll her eyes so many times she was tempted to keep the book, as it seemed most of the things written were about him alone, until she reached the last page Selene had written on.

"On the first day of the autumn full moon" was written on the top of the page, and Ave realized this part of the diary was written a few days before she found herself in this world. The night of the day she woke up here, the moon had been full.

"The Dreaming Mirror" was written at the top of this page.

’Each night, I drift

into lives not my own,

a stranger’s face in shadows cast_

I see her world, like a thread I’ve seen.

Why her?

A figure I cannot touch,

yet she lives in my dreams, unfurling paths

of stories I’ve never known.

I watch her,

through mist and shifting light,

feel her laughter echoing faint

like a memory almost mine.

Who is she?

This whisper tied to my own,

a soul that brushes mine, unseen,

calling softly from places unknown.

How do I reach her,

how do I bring her,

this shadow with a pulse?

What draws me to someone unknown,

as if she holds my soul and the life I want?