To His Hell and Back
Chapter 65: In Company of Waterdrops-II

Chapter 65: In Company of Waterdrops-II

Cassius had never spoken of the King as a man, lest alone a father. They only talked when the King posed as a ruler, and perhaps this had happened the moment he had learned to breathe.

His words had made it clear—he knew his mother had never loved his father, even as the King himself seemed utterly enthralled by her. But Arabella doubted that love, for if he had truly adored the late Queen, would he have sent their only son to suffer in endless wars?

Perhaps that was simply the burden of a Crown Prince, something beyond her understanding.

One thing, however, was undeniable. During that disastrous last supper, the King had been fully aware of the hatred that simmered between Cassius and Lady Morgana. And how Cassius had not been pleased with the woman he had chosen as his stepmother.

It is difficult to believe the King does not know about the attempts on Cassius’s life. Harder still to imagine was that he was unaware that Lady Morgana had sought to use Arabella, a mere human pet, to betray and harm him.

Maybe he knew. Maybe he had simply chosen to look the other way.

And if that were true, then what did it mean? That he believed such trials were necessary? That Cassius would be strengthened by surviving them?

Like a lion cub thrown into a den of wolves, he was left to either be torn apart or emerge as the beast he was meant to be.

Curiously, she continued her train of questions, "Your mother didn’t come from the same kingdom as your father?"

"No." Cassius’s voice was quiet but firm. "My father traveled far to see her. And the moment he laid eyes on her, he swore he would turn the world upside down to have her."

His lips curled, just slightly, as he pulled his hands away from her green eyes. When Arabella looked up at him, she caught the faint trace of a smile, dark, edged with cruel amusement.

"My mother was unmoved by his declarations of love," he continued, his voice laced with something unreadable. "But when she saw what he was capable of... she agreed to the marriage. Regardless of her indifference, he did love her."

For a fleeting moment, Arabella found herself thinking that the story wasn’t so tragic after all. It wasn’t love in the way one might dream of, but it was devotion. The King had loved his Queen fiercely, and the Queen, despite her pride, had been loyal, carrying out her duties flawlessly.

Perhaps that was its own kind of love.

"Then... they should have loved each other a l-" she began, hesitant.

Cassius cut her off before she could finish. "Then love fades."

The words shattered whatever fragile hope had started to form, dousing the idea that love had ever been a part of Cassius’s childhood.

And yet, there was no bitterness in his voice. No resentment. No sarcasm.

He spoke of it the same way one might recount a fact of history, distant, impassive, as if it had never truly belonged to him in the first place.

It didn’t seem like he had made peace with it. It just seemed as if he was telling her the story of someone else’s past, not his own, like a distant fairy tale. Her green eyes studied him, and he seemed to enjoy her gaze trying to learn him, but he never let a single chance for her to see through him.

"As you know, she succumbed to an illness. For pureblood, illness is simply a shame. The King did love her, but not enough to overlook the fact that she had gotten weaker. Then she began to wither away, alone, until her death."

Cassius’s words lingered in the air, the finality of them settling deep in Arabella’s chest. Love fades.

She studied him, the way the candlelight carved shadows across his sharp features, how his expression remained unchanged, unreadable. And yet, there was something, just a flicker, too brief to grasp, beneath the cool detachment.

A memory, perhaps.

"That is why, birdie. You shouldn’t put all your eggs in one basket. Don’t put all your trust in one person; better yet, don’t love. Love fades," he repeated, softer this time, almost to himself. Then, after a pause, he spoke again. "But power remains. Debt remains. Loyalty, when bound by something stronger than affection, remains."

His gaze drifted past her, toward nothing in particular, his fingers absently brushing over her wet hair, his fingers running through it for a very long and quiet moment. A slow, deliberate movement, his gaze looking far away. Arabella’s eyes followed, noticing the faintest glow on the half moon birthmark on his neck that seemed embedded into his body.

She didn’t know why, but something about it felt important.

"You see, emotions are such a burden," Cassius continued, voice calm, as if explaining something self-evident. "Especially love. It bends; it breaks. One moment, it swears eternity. The next, it vanishes like breath on glass." He tilted his head a faint scoff leaving his red lips, "And yet people foolishly base their lives upon it."

His lips curled, but it wasn’t quite a smirk.

"I prefer something less fleeting. Power. Fear. Vows that cannot be undone." He paused. "If a bond must be made, let it be forged in something stronger than sentiment."

"Is that what you tell yourself every passing day?" Came her words that always ran faster than her thoughts. She could see his eyes flickering on her, and seeing that, she turned her gaze away, now looking at the bathtub as she hugged her knees tighter. She leaned her face forward until it touched her knees, "Cassius, there are many kinds of love in this world. You must have experienced it, and although you are correct that sometimes love isn’t eternal, that it’s fickle, fragile, and untrustworthy, there must be love somewhere that will put you first, that would care for you as if it is their own soul. One that will remain loyal forever, one that... won’t hurt."

Cassius could tell that Arabella was always a dreamy romantic. But how could she remain as positive to the world after what she had gone through? Her father sells her, her life with him is in chaos of the castle, and even then she still believes the good in people. Naive. But not always too naive. She knew when someone wasn’t good, and she could call up on their actions.

But at times, deep inside her, she still wants to believe in people.

His jaw tensed. Foolish girl. Foolish, stubborn girl.

If he were in her position, the first thing he would do would be to kill the crazy owner, leave the castle for good, and run away.

"Love," he drawled, tasting the word like it was foreign to him because it was. "You speak of it as if it’s some unbreakable bond, some eternal, unwavering force that shields and nurtures. But tell me, little bird, where was this great love when your father sold you off like a mere possession? Where was it when you were thrown into my hands, to be toyed with at my leisure?"

Now that was mean.

Arabella frowned while looking at him, expecting the triumphant smile of rubbing her fresh wounds, only to see him staring at her thoughtfully.

He wasn’t being sarcastic. He was... curious?

"You think I don’t know what love can be?" she whispered, her voice softer now, not in submission, but in quiet defiance. "I do. I know it’s ugly, and selfish, and painful. But it’s also warm, Cassius. It’s also something that can heal. That’s what you refuse to see."

She sat there, curled in on herself, her bare shoulders exposed, her skin flushed from the steam rising from the bath. Vulnerable. And yet she dared to challenge him with that quiet hope in her eyes, dared to speak of things he had spent his whole life rejecting.

Cassius moved before he could think, his hand gripping her chin, forcing her to look at him. His touch was firm but not bruising, his thumb resting just beneath her bottom lip.

"You think love doesn’t hurt?" His voice was a low rasp, dark and laced with something dangerous. "Then you’ve been living a fantasy. Love is pain. Love is obsession. It is the slow, excruciating undoing of a person. It is a poison dressed in silk, and you, little bird, should know better than to crave it."

Her breath hitched, but she didn’t pull away.

"Love hurts, but living also hurts," she made her point. Her eyes seemed to turn wet from the water that dripped from her lashes, but as she said this, she could see a part of him that shifted. This was perhaps what Cassius wanted from her. Without his knowing, he began to shift with her presence.

Whether it was good or bad, she didn’t know. Neither does he.

"You live every day ignoring the hurt, and then you ignore your love. Cassius. Do you not feel any love, or are you simply tricking yourself to think that it doesn’t exist?"

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