To His Hell and Back
Chapter 245: His Loss-II

Chapter 245: His Loss-II

Only after a while of watching Arabella cried did Cassius finally raised his other clean hands, using it to wipe away the tears under her bright green eyes. But upon seeing that green eyes bright as the man who had killed his sister, Cassius’s hands came to a stop.

He shut his eyes, slowly removing her hands from his fingers.

Arabella could tell from his expression that somewhere seeing her eyes had pained him and that hit her heart like a sharp arrow.

"I will go and rest," Cassius said with a gentle push. It was gentle but the push suddenly caused a crack between them, making Arabella to feel that though the distance between them were physically short, the distance between their hearts had suddenly grow and multiply.

"Tomorrow we need to put her in the burial," Cassius then continued, "Tomorrow before the house of her burial, I need to take care of the loose ends."

Though he hadn’t said more than that, Arabella understood what he meant. He was going to leave after he had rested to find the person who had caused this tragedy.

Pursing her lips, Arabella couldn’t express what she felt.

The guilt in her heart piled into a mountain. After all, it was all due to her that Marissa had now died. It was a fact that would haunt her forever, the fact that she had turned into a dangerous weapon who had took away the person who her lover truly cares about, the only last one.

As she was about to turn around, Arabella heard a sharp sob coming from behind her. When she turned, she saw Aunt Genevieve alongside Queen Morgana.

The one who had cried was Aunt Eve, wiping away her tears from her red eyes in sorrow upon seeing what her niece had became. When noticing her, Aunt Eve’s eyes widened then it narrowed, a sharp anger took place on her eyes as though she believes the one who had caused Marissa’s death was her.

But Aunt Eve turned her face away, as though schooling her expression that had gone too far. She continued to walk, leaving behind Queen Morgana who had came to a stop.

Watching everyone who had left, Queen Morgana turned to her and offered a smile, "Trust is so fragile isn’t it?"

Arabella was wordless. Sorrow had filled her heart so much alongside guilt that she could barely breathe without feeling suffocated.

"Humans caused this to happen," Queen Morgana said, pushing her finger into Arabella’s shoulders while rubbing her round stomach, "What had happened today will cause an even wider rift between humans and vampires. It will cause rift to the trust between you and Cassius. You may not have killed Marissa, but do you truly believe he’ll ever look at you the same again? With the same love... the same purity?" Her eyes glittered. "Doubt is a disease, Arabella. And now, it’s already in his blood."

Arabella felt those words haunt her long after Queen Morgana had vanished down the corridor, her heels striking the marble like the echoing cackle of a witch’s laughter.

Clapping her hands over her ears, Arabella turned and ran— anywhere, anywhere but there. She didn’t care where her feet took her, only that she escaped the suffocating air, the staring walls, the unbearable weight of what had just happened.

The guilt was bleeding her dry.

When she finally stopped, breathless and shaking, she realized she had stumbled into the castle’s gallery, a long forgotten room filled with dust covered portraits and silent witnesses from a time that felt like a different world.

Shutting the door behind her, she slid to the floor.

Arabella curled into herself, pulling her knees to her chest, burying her face in trembling hands as the sobs finally broke loose. Grief tore through her like a jagged blade, too cruel to scream, too raw to contain.

How could she face him now?

How could she look into Cassius’s eyes, the same eyes that once held warmth for her, and not see the shadow of Marissa’s death between them?

I stood beside him like I belonged there... but I was the reason he lost her.

The thought twisted inside her like thorns. What right did she have to offer him comfort, when her presence alone might only deepen the wound? How could she dare to cry for him when he was the one who had to lose his only one sister due to her?

The choice of killing Marissa by his own hand wasn’t an easy one and he had to do it by his own hands... all because... all because he had decided to protect her and bring her away from Morpheus.

Arabella let herself cry in this empty place, knowing well that she couldn’t have the face to cry in front of the people who had truly lost Marissa.

She wished desperately that she could tear out the guilt with her bare hands, even if it meant being hollow.

Because hollow would hurt less than this.

Cassius who had entered to his study room shut the door behind him. Without a single thought in his head, he went toward the cupboard, pulling one of the only alcohol that could put him into a state of trance.

But before he could pour the drink, his heart ache.

With force, he punched his own chest, trying to calm it down, trying to stop it from being in chaos. Only after his chest was bruised did Cassius realized that no matter how hard he tried to stop his heart from racing, he couldn’t as the thoughts that haunt him came from his head.

Cassius ruffled his hair, slamming his fist to the table until it tore, until splinters stabbed his knuckles but seeing the desk he destroyed didn’t feel enough.

The anger rose in him again like never before, bubbling as he slowly pushed everything from the table, destroying every single thing he could see whether it was important or not.

He had destroyed almost the entire room and its wall when he stopped and saw the golden cage that had already been broken falling from the cupboard he had just smashed.

Seeing it, Cassius stopped for a moment, his breathing labored as he stared at the mess he had created.

How could he ever blame Arabella?

Her green eyes- it did reminded him of the anger and rage of seeing the sorcerer who had turned his sister into remnant but she... she wasn’t the one in a fault.

He knew that. He understood it.

But that doesn’t stop the ache he felt upon seeing her face and eyes.

He couldn’t show this pain either as he knew how much that would tore Arabella’s kind heart.

Cassius sighed, pushing his own fingers into his chest, grabbing into the place where there should be a heart before pulling his fingers out as if to calm himself.