There's No Love In the Deathzone (BL)
Chapter 654: Side Story 2. Dance of Flame and Shadow - 13

Chapter 654: Side Story 2. Dance of Flame and Shadow - 13

During a Deathzone’s excursion, one did not simply spend the night camping. There was no luxury of building a tent since they might have to run away any second, so all they did was find a considerably safe place and sleep on the ground over a coat or blanket. Half would sleep, and half would watch the surroundings. Just one or two people wouldn’t be enough; at least four people for each cardinal direction were needed for night watch, unless they found a cave. Even then, at least one person to watch the exist and another one to watch the inside of the cave was needed.

Naturally, the clients would always be the resting ones, and the Borderland personnel would be on the night watch.

Ron, as a rookie, was supposed to take it easy, and Agni had told the kid to just review what he learned that day while trying to get some sleep. But of course, the young esper didn’t like it. He stubbornly stayed a meter away from the Captain, crouching with pursed lips between his knees.

"You know that people would jump at a chance to take some rest, don’t you?" Agni rolled his eyes at the sulking squirrel. But it reminded him of how much he thristed for validation at that age, so he just chuckled and let the kid be without any scolding.

"This is a learning process; how can I do that if I stayed back there?" Ron argued. "And it’s not like I’m really standing watch...I just sit beside you."

Agni arched his brow, and Ron mumbled further. "He’s the one who said I should stay beside him. Is this uncle has an impaired memory or something?"

"This brat."

Agni smiled and got the younger man in a chokehold until Ron tapped his arm in defeat. Watching Ron coughing while cursing at him made Agni lament. If only Nolan had this kind of personality too; perhaps he would still be alive then, and this kid wouldn’t have to be here.

Right--he might allow Ron to come to the Deathzone with him, but it didn’t mean Agni changed his mind about pushing the kid away from the Borderland.

He looked at the grumbling squirrel and sighed. "Come here," Agni patted the space beside him, and Ron flinched, staring at it for a few seconds before scooting closer while pulling the collar of his jacket high.

The berserker took out a small flask from his inside pocket, and offered it to young scout who looked at him with narrowed eyes full of suspicion. "It’s coffee," Agni said, adding in a whisper. "From my room."

Ron grabbed the flask so fast Agni thought he was actually robbing it from the kid. Alcohol was forbidden in the Unit except for special events like the Federation anniversary or the New Year, so coffee was their main elixir. Not very good to drown oneself in sorrow, but sure was good to keep them alerted during missions.

Watching the younger man sipping the lukewarm coffee as if it was something precious, Agni decided to start a conversation since they were going to be awake anyway.

"Understand something yet?"

Ron paused and, after slowly closing the flask’s lid, replying with pursed lips. "No..."

Disappointment was palpable in his voice, but it was understandable. It was also understandable that he wouldn’t be able to understand his father’s mindframe when the man lived thirty years longer than him. But Agni didn’t want the kid to drown in an unreasonable disappointment.

"Honestly...I can’t say I understand too," Agni muttered.

"Huh?"

"Your father, his view," the berserker stared at the darkness in front of them; the darkness which always brought him the bitter memory of his old mates. "I just followed him because he’s treating me good, but..."

Clutching the flask in his arms, Ron watched the berserker sighed and shook his head while chuckling bitterly.

"You know, if we returned back to that time before the dungeon break, I’m pretty sure your father would make the same choice, even after knowing the outcome," Agni curled his lips. He was frustated about that part of Nolan, but also admired it. "The only thing he’d done differently was probably telling you and your mother to get ready for some bad news so that accident won’t happen."

Biting his lips, Ron nodded slowly. "Yeah, I think so."

"But I’m not like that," Agni sneered at himself. "Honestly, if it was me who returned, I’d choose to destroy a town rather than have him and my friends die without any remains in this place."

Ron blinked at the poison dripping in the berserker’s voice, but also...because he had more or less the same thought. He had been feeling guilty about having that kind of thought; sacrificing a thousand strangers for a single precious person. Hearing the berserker sharing that kind of thought...

Honestly, he felt a bit validated, and the young esper sunk his face even more between his knees to hide his reddened cheeks.

"I’m not the hero type, I can’t do it like him," the berserker shook his head as he continued. "In fact, when I was a kid, I always thought the Heros in the story were stupid."

"...why?"

"Because they kept saving people just because," Agni narrowed his eyes in disdain. "Just because they have power, just because other people are weaker...they’d choose a bus full of people over their loved one because of what? Righteousness? Their future? What about mine? What about my loved one’s future? Who are we to determine the weight of someone’s life over the others?" the heavy voice rumbled quietly. "It’s especially stupid when they refuse to receive any reward," the man grumbled, suddenly shifted from serious to whining. "For a broke orphan like me, it was so annoying I wanted to punch the screen."

"...huh," Ron had no idea of he should find it sad or endearing; both did nothing to calm his tickling heart. He peeked at the fiery dark eyes and asked curiously. "Then why did you do it?"

Agni turned his head to look at the scout inquisitively. "Do what?"

"Covering for me."

The berserker’s eyes flickered as many thought crossed his mind in a few seconds, and Ron could see a bit of flusters there.

"Wasn’t I supposed to replace my father’s lifetime punishment?"

Agni pressed his lips and turned his face away, staring back at the dark jungle before muttering. "Because I don’t think that’s right."

Ron tilted his head, demanding elaboration with his clear brown eyes that always disturbed the berserker’s conscience.

"I’m not that complicated," Agni sighed. "I don’t have a sense of duty or anything that concrete. Letting someone innocent carry another’s punishment doesn’t sit right with me. So did betrayal or breaking promises."

The law was ridiculous in the first place, because what did the family member do wrong to deserve such a fate? Not to mention that the way they ended up in this punishment was unfair. Sure, he could just ignore it, let the kid took his father’s punishment, and got out of the borderland once his fifteen years were over.

But he knew--he knew he would be haunted by that decision his whole life, and that was enough reason for him to take the punishment instead. Both were hell, but one torture his body while the other tortured his mind.

Agni chose to torture his body more than anything.

"I couldn’t let someone with a bright potential like you rot in this place," he shrugged, before turning to the scout again and stared at the brown eyes seriously. "You are Nolan Hertz’s son, Ronan. You deserve glory, not filth."

Ron was so glad he had already hidden half his face with his jacket collar and knees; otherwise, the berserker might see how red his cheeks had become. He turned his face away and mumbled. "Stupid."

Agni raised his brow. "What did you say?"

"You’re also stupid like my father."

"Hey, listen here you brat!"

Agni glared at the scout and caught the younger man in another headlock; but this time, Ron was laughing quietly instead of grumbling. The berserker let go of the scout after squeezing the kid’s cheeks and sighed.

"Haa...what I want to say is that you don’t have to try to understand him," Agni clicked his tongue. "You’re not Nolan, and he was rarely there for you to be understood anyway. Not understanding him doesn’t mean you’re a bad son of anything."

Ron blinked, finally realizing why the berserker suddenly talked about this matter. Although it was funny how the older man added quietly with a hint of doubt.

"...I think."

"I think?"

"Do I look like I’m built for counseling?" Agni grumbled.

"I never asked for one," Ron shrugged.

"Brat."

This time, Ron just grinned instead of flipping the man off--which was an improvement, Agni thought weirdly.

"I mean...if you wait until you understand him, you might have to spend your whole life here," Agni added. "You have to be a saint or a monk to do that...I think."

"Heh--"

"Shut up.

Ron let a subtle smile spread on his lips. "Yeah, I got that," he said. "I don’t think I’ll be able to understand either."

Agni perked up. Was the time finally came? Had his preaching reach the kid’s brain? He straightened his back and replied swiftly. "Right? So just go ba--"

"But I’ll still stay."

Agni deflated like a balloon before snapping back. "Why?!" he gripped his head and hissed so he wouldn’t alert the others. "For fuck’s sake, kid--why?"

"Hmm..." Ron fiddled with the flask in his hands and raised his head; out of the cover of his knees and collar. "Because you’re here."

"...what?"

Ron was always the type to act on his feelings. Just like how he immediately ran to the Borderland and the Deathzone because of his father, he had no hesitation to act once he realized his attraction to the berserker. He had those weeks of avoidance to mull over the cause of his flusters, and he had this whole day to think about what he would do in the face of his feelings

It didn’t matter why; what mattered was what he would do moving forward. That had always been his way of life ever since he was left alone in this world.

So he looked at Agni straight in the eyes and confessed it. "Because you’re here."

"No, I mean--"

"You tell me to stay by your side," he shrugged.

"In the Deathzone!"

"Yeah, but I want to stay by your side outside too," Ron curled his lips. Now that he openly acknowledged his feeling, he stopped being flustered about it. "So I’ll stay."

Agni, staring at the bright, clear, youthful brown eyes, was frozen. His brain, so long without any hint of romance, was short-circuited. In the end, the only thing coming out of his mouth was a short, dumbfounded exclaim.

"Huh?!"

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