There's No Love In the Deathzone (BL)
Chapter 650: Side Story 2. Dance of Flame and Shadow - 9

Chapter 650: Side Story 2. Dance of Flame and Shadow - 9

The hierarchy in the Borderland Unit was easy; the strongest rule.

It was a rough place with equally rough personnel, so the Captain of each unit needed to be between the highest-ranking espers. Naturally, the four-star bunch from the military took upon the higher-up seat right away. After all, no five-star espers were working in such a dreary place, and even the four-star ones in a single Unit could be counted on one hand.

So, Captain Nolan Hertz remained as the Captain.

Perhaps because of that, Agni didn’t feel much difference between the outside world and the Borderland. Well, aside from the stuffy air and the barely edible food. The work environment? It wasn’t much different. If anything, Agni felt the place was slightly better than the military base.

Maybe because he was actually on the side of authority? It was only a pseudo-authority that could be used in the Borderland only, but it wasn’t so bad staying in one place instead of going around from mission to mission.

The missions themselves were hard when they had to enter the Deathzone, and like anyone else, he needed time to get used to the damnable place. But such missions did not come often, and their only mission was to watch the borderland and prevent any creatures from crossing the marsh.

Honestly, at first, everything felt fine. Despite the unfair situation they were in, Agni and his two unruly squadmates weren’t so influenced by the conditions. Surprisingly enough, Nolan also looked fine.

For him, a duty was a duty. He did not think that watching the Borderland had any less value than clearing dungeons on the high zones. Both still meant to keep people from harm, and that was well within Nolan Hertz’s principle.

The only thing that saddened him was the fact that he couldn’t see his family anymore. It didn’t show much at first, but it weighed on him more every day.

That being said, Nolan Hertz was Nolan Hertz. He did not show such burdens on the outside, because he knew some people here also missed their families just like him. He still led the Unit how he used to lead his unruly squad; with surprising kindness.

He wasn’t weak or a pushover by any means. He was firm, he was disciplined, and he was stubborn at times. But he also cared about the personnel’s well-being and always made sure things were fair. He knew all of their names and stories, trying to help those who had problems, and stopping fights with minimal casualty.

Perhaps because they had always been under people who treated them like disposable pawns, it didn’t take long for the personnel to respect Nolan Hertz as their leader. Not just a Captain in title, but a true leader.

The kind-hearted man changed Unit 04-2 into a more comfortable place. As comfy as one could find in such a dreary place.

But it was also the kindness that killed the man.

"It was one of those times when the Deathzone’s activity level was increasing- we have that every few years when the miasma level was high," Agni explained while making more coffee for them.

"Last year?"

"Yeah," Agni nodded. "You know how miasma will keep gathering if dungeons aren’t being cleared, right? Logically, we could prevent that if we diligently clean the dungeon in the Deathzone more often, but..." he chuckled bitterly. "How could we? The Deathzone is so vast, and we only had the map and resources for less than five percent of it."

And so, they would let the miasma gather, which caused more beasts and Deathzone-born creatures like the wraiths and the specters to surface and move toward the marsh. It was then the Unit’s responsibility to get rid of the surfacing creatures.

"We called it the horde," Agni said, bringing a whole pot to the table. "It’s reasonable to just face them in the march where we can have better light and air. Besides, those creatures got stronger inside a miasma-riddled place."

Ron read those in the manual, including his father’s scribbles calculating the timing of the horde, how much they would face, and how many resources they would need. It seemed like his father had prepared for it well, so...what exactly happened?

"Our preparation was perfect, and honestly, the execution was almost perfect," Agni cast his gaze to the grey sky outside the window. "But human...humans couldn’t be perfect."

Agni turned toward the young scout and continued with a question. "Do you know what is the highest cause of death in the Deathzone?"

"...the beasts?"

"Depression," Agni replied dryly, as if forcing himself toward numbness to repress it himself. "It’s easy to get your mind messed with in this place. Just staring at the grey landscape and the black jungle in front of us for months and years is enough.

"It led to suicide, a lot of it. Whether they did it here or by throwing themselves into the Deathzone," the berserker’s lips straightened into a stiff line.

Ron widened his eyes and stiffened. "Was my father--"

"What? No," Agni quickly shook his head. "He would never!"

"Oh..."

The young scout leaned back again and pressed his lips, feeling relief spread inside his chest. He wouldn’t know how he would feel if his father decided to leave this world while he was still there. He didn’t think he would forgive the man then.

"I did mention suicide, but..." Agni let out a sigh that Ron had grown used to. "In most cases, that depression leads to something else: carelessness."

"...carelessness?"

"During battles, if you are not focused, it is easy to get hurt even while facing an easy opponent. Our movement and reaction speed became slower than usual, and our instincts could not work most of the time."

Ron bit the inside of his cheek, because he knew that very well. There was a time when he really couldn’t bother to do anything. The thought of doing simple things like washing his face, or even something pertaining to his survival, like drinking water and eating, felt like a chore. Opening his eyes and simply breathing felt like a waste.

And as he did so, he felt how useless and pathetic he was, which only drove him further into the mud and the abyss of his own murky thoughts, feeling helpless and hopeless. Again and again, it was like sitting inside a circle of greyness; wanting to lean into the white, while wondering when the black would take him.

This place, the grey Borderland, was a perfect manifestation of it.

If it wasn’t for his worried teacher constantly checking on him, perhaps Ron too, would...

"Moreover..." Agni continued. "It made us easier to get afflicted with mental attacks."

"Was it..." Ron swallowed as he started to form a rough idea of what happened. "Was someone else being careless and...and he tried to save that person?"

"...yeah," Agni had no idea if he should curse or be thankful for this kid’s quick thinking. "Everything seemed perfect right until that moment; it was the last group of the horde, but one guy started to hallucinate and charge inside the Deathzone."

Ron clenched his jaw. He could almost see it; how his father must have been running to try and bring that person back.

"You might have already guessed it, but Nolan decided to rescue the guy," Agni continued with a restrained voice. "That guy...he talked often with Nolan about his family back home and how much he wanted to go and see them after he was done with his time in the Borderland."

As someone who bore the same feeling, Nolan couldn’t just let the man die. Perhaps, he just wanted the man to go back so he himself could still hope to see his family again one day. That was what Agni thought anyway.

"The job had mostly done, so we--me and the other two from our old squad--followed him inside to help, but..." Agni gritted his teeth. "We have never entered the Deathzone during such a period, and...we weren’t prepared."

Ron could see the berserker’s usual red face turned ashy. He was familiar with that kind of expression--Ron made such a face every time he wanted to forget the moment his mother’s body flew across the street.

"You...don’t have to go into details," Ron gripped his hands, preventing him from scratching his arms again.

Agni smiled bitterly. "I’m sorry..."

It was still hard for him, to see his friends being shredded into pieces in front of him. He still saw it inside his dream, and the moment he failed to drag them out replied like clockwork without fail every time.

"There was...there was still another group of beasts inside, and they were strengthened by the miasma. I..." he paused, feeling his throat dried and burned from the memory. "I watched them getting overwhelmed. The beasts...they were pouncing on us. My friends...I think they were hallucinating about that...that last dungeon, our last mission..."

The berserker’s voice, which was loud and strong before, started to falter. The dark eyes that firmly told Ron to stay away from the Deathzone were shaking, and the hands easily manhandled the young scouts were trembling.

"I...I tried...I tried to drag them out..." Agni gripped the bracelet clanking on his wrist as his breath quickened and hot lumps burnt his throat more and more. "I managed to get the other two’s tag, but...Captain’s..."

Just like how Agni was startled by Ron’s crying, so did the young scout when he saw the burly man in front of him shed tears. The berserker immediately lowered his head so Ron couldn’t see his face, but it was palpable in his voice.

"I’m sorry..." for the first time, Agni let out the guilt he had been carrying for the past year. "I tried to reach him...I tried to at least get his tag...but I failed..."

It was something he could never show because he had no one to show it to. It was pathetic for him to burden a kid he met for the first time with his guilt. But he couldn’t help it.

His friends and his Captain were no longer there. Who...who could he convey his apology to if not to Nolan’s son?

"I’m sorry..." he gritted his teeth behind the hands covering his face. "I don’t wish for you to forgive me, but...I’m sorry..."

How pathetic. How pathetic, Agni Khan. You should be the one who consoled the kid, but what are you doing now?!

"Sorry, I--"

"It’s fine," before Agni could raise his head, he felt a hand on his hair. "It’s not your fault. It’s..." Ron paused for a bit as he steadied his broken heart. "It’s good that you survived because...because I won’t be able to know the truth otherwise, so...thank you."

The tears and the guilt he had carried continued to flow, and in that darkening room, two people burned and licked each other’s wounds.

Search the lightnovelworld.cc website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.