There's No Love In the Deathzone (BL)
Chapter 424 - 417. Avalanche

Chapter 424: Chapter 417. Avalanche

"Are you still going to guide, Sir?" the priest in charge of accompanying Zein asked him after his third session on the second day of his voluntary assistance.

"Mm," Zein narrowed his eyes and stared at his palm. He clenched and unclenched his fingers, settling the tingling feeling from the previous guiding. "I still want to get used to this."

As expected, the weirdness of absorbing miasma without touching couldn’t be shed in just a day. Since there was a distance between him and the target, there was a delay that would need a few more tries until he could get used to it. As for speed, he could more or less catch to seventy percent of his usual, which was already better than average guides, so he didn’t mind much.

Within these two--no, one and a half--days, he had observed that the connection he made with the target espers was created through mana. He was basically creating a mana channel, like healers, and absorbed the miasma through that channel. It enabled the miasma to be absorbed without it leaking into the environment.

But that also meant only Zein could use this. Not even the Saintess could, unless they were in the Sanctuary where they had the power to manipulate mana.

Naturally, this created a spectacle.

Thankfully, the Temple had already made an isolated room for Zein to practice without being spied on. The espers who received his cleansing were also under a non-disclosure agreement, so no one would know what happened inside. However, a view of two to four espers coming into a closed chamber guarded by a templar and coming out less than an hour after fully cleansed would garner interest.

Even the other on-duty priests and the priests-to-be couldn’t help but get curious. All they knew was that the Saint and the Saintess candidates were inside.

"Whoa...you really can guide a lot of people, Zein..." Elena exclaimed while Zein did his next round of guiding.

She had come with Zein during these two days, and while she didn’t do anything but observe, she did not lack things to do as she borrowed Zein’s commlink to browse around. Zein had this suspicion that she came with him solely for his commlink rather than to learn.

Although it seemed like she was observing from time to time.

"I’m rather special in that matter," Zein told her, pulling down the high collar of the priest garb he wore to expose his nape.

"Oh!"

Elena put the commlink away and held Zein’s shoulder as support so she could see the mark better. It was her first time seeing it since Zein was way taller than her--as tall as the templars, even.

"Is this..." she leaned down and whispered. "Setnath?"

"...yeah," Zein didn’t expect Elena to recognize it, but he supposed she was one of Frejya’s beloved daughters--and She was Setnath’s close friend, or at least she said so.

"Whoa...it’s glowing, so pretty..."

Zein chuckled. Of anything, it was fun that Elena was more interested in the fact that it was glowing and looking pretty than the functionality. That was so Elena, though; the innocent observing gaze. He had been spending his time mainly with the girl, from meal times to idle time while playing with Cloudy in the outer Sky Garden. Sometimes with the Saintess and/or the Medium, but he mostly conversed with the girl who was curious about anything and everything, especially about guiding outside the Temple and inside the dungeon. Zein realized how observant the girl was during their conversation, and it had been fun talking with her.

It reminded him so much of the twins.

Which was why he was rather shaken for a second when Elena asked if she could call him ’big brother’ that afternoon in the Sky Garden, after they came back from the outpost. The reason being she had been calling the Medium ’Big Sis’, and the Saintess was Grandma, so she felt weird that she called Zein by his name.

"...no," Zein said while stroking Cloudy’s soft fur in his lap, who had been munching on a vegetable stick strewn around their picnic blanket.

"Eeh? Why?"

Chuckled at the disappointed girl, Zein dropped a chocolate he brought from Althrea to her hand. "I prefer it if you call me with my name," he said. "My little brothers did."

Elene raised her brows and perked up. "Oh, well...in that case," she shrugged and quickly settled on calling him by his name as usual. "I didn’t know you have little brothers."

"Had," Zein corrected her, and her hands, which had been unwrapping the chocolate, paused.

She blinked and looked at Zein’s face, probably to gauge his emotion. "Oh," she nodded. "Hmm...that’s too bad."

Zein smiled at her dry reaction, which he liked. For people like them, losing their family was basically an identity, so it wasn’t anything to be dramatic about. Rather than feeling sorry for not knowing, she tilted her head and pointed at Zein’s chest while savoring her chocolate.

"Is that theirs?"

Zein raised his brow and looked down at his bead necklace. "How do you know?"

Elena pointed at Zein’s ear and hands. "All of your accessories are either artifacts or equipment with mana, except this one. So it must be a keepsake...right?"

"Right," Zein stroked the beads, which had become lighter than before now.

Elena folded her legs up and propped her chin on top of her knees, watching Zein’s solemn gaze. "You’re a good brother, Zein."

Again, Zein arched his brow. "Where is this coming from?"

"I also would like it if my siblings carried something that reminded them of me everywhere."

"Just because of that?" Zein chuckled. "What if I acted horrible while they were alive? Perhaps I just carry this around due to regret and guilt."

"Then you’re still a good brother," Elena laughed, reaching out to stroke Cloudy too. "Because bad people don’t have remorse--Grandma told me. You feel guilty, so it means you’re still a good person."

Zein blinked at the simple line that felt like a douse of cool water and a wisp of fresh breeze. He laughed softly, genuinely, and let himself fall to his back on the blanket. Cloudy flinched and crawled to his chest. The pink nose twitched a few times, and after making sure there was nothing wrong with Zein, it curled atop the guide’s chest. Giggling, Elena laid down too, and together they watched the bright sky of the enclosed garden.

"Is that real?" Zein finally asked after seeing it for days.

"No, but it mirrors the sky outside."

"That’s neat."

"Right?"

"If it’s rain, does it mean you can see the rain without getting wet?"

"Yup. It feels like there’s an invisible dome above--oh, it’s pretty scary when there’s lightning and thunder, though, but Big Sis would tell us some scary stories so it’s fun!"

Zein was rather lost on why thunder and lightning were scary, but pairing it with scary stories was fun instead. But he had never experienced it, so he couldn’t argue against it. Looking at the sky like this, though...it reminded him of his last date with Bassena; watching the stars beside the lake.

Ah...

His chest felt heavy, and it had nothing to do with the white rabbit curling there lazily.

"What you said before...sounds like something he would say," Zein muttered.

He said it absentmindedly, vaguely, but he could tell that Elena understood what he meant. She rolled to her stomach and propped her chin as she watched the dimmed blue eyes.

"You miss him, don’t you?"

Zein would have laughed, but he didn’t want to disturb Cloudy, so he just chuckled softly. "...yeah," he covered his eyes with his forearm. "Yeah..."

"Are you afraid?"

Ah--why must this girl be on point at everything?

"What are you afraid of?"

"Hmm..." Zein moved his arm and swept his hair back. "I guess...I’m worried he will change."

"Why?"

"...I’m worried our feelings will change because of it."

"Hmm..." Elena tilted her head and pursed her lips. "I don’t understand," she concluded after mulling about it for a full minute.

"I don’t think it’s a suitable topic yet for you."

"What are you talking about?" Elena puffed her cheeks and raised her upper body. "Love should be talked about! It should be learned! What I’m not supposed to talk about is sex--oh!"

She immediately clasped her mouth and whispered extra quietly after looking around in caution. "Don’t tell Grandma I said the...s-word!"

When Zein laughed at her remark, she grinned and asked again. "How does it feel, anyway, loving someone romantically?"

Zein raised his brow, staring at the blue sky without blinking until his eyes felt the sting. "How..." he muttered dazedly. "I don’t think I’m the right person to ask about this kind of thing. I’ve only experienced it once, after all, and I think everyone has different experiences."

"Well, how do you feel, then?" the curious little girl insisted.

"How do I feel, huh..."

Zein blinked slowly. Never had he ever thought he would be interrogated about love in a Temple by a little girl, with a white rabbit and other fluffy little animals as the audience.

But how does it feel?

How did it feel, to fall in love with Bassena?

For months, he stood in one place, like a stone. A stubborn stone, and the esper was running around him, trying to nudge him forward, forward, forward...until Zein finally stood on the ledge. And the moment he decided to roll forward...

It was a slope.

He rolled down so fast that he didn’t even realize his feelings had become so big...so fast.

Right; like a stone rolling off a mountain full of snow. It got bigger...and bigger...and bigger--and everything around him became that person, filling his view with all white snow and warm darkness.

"An avalanche," Zein muttered.

"Hmm?" Elena tilted her head.

Zein rubbed the black orb that had became as big as an orange with his thumb, staring at the brilliant sky with a gentle smile across his lips.

"Falling in love with him is like an avalanche."

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