There's No Love In the Deathzone (BL)
Chapter 392 - 384. A Wake-Up Call

Chapter 392: Chapter 384. A Wake-Up Call

Dheera had no idea why she began to cry.

Was it because she was scared? Or was it because she felt ashamed? Perhaps both.

She was ashamed of talking big about going to the Deathzone, even whining to be chosen. She was ashamed that even with all of her training, she couldn’t do anything. She was ashamed, especially, because she made her Captain sigh.

But there was also another feeling that triggered her tear duck. It was sadness. Because then she realized that Zein had been battling with that kind of place for years before coming here. She remembered the scary, spiky aura that Zein had the first time they met; how vigilant those blue eyes were, how sharp his speaking tone was, and how nonchalant he was to the matter of death.

It was his daily life; walking with the pressure weighing his body, breathing the heavily toxic air, seeing creatures most grotesque.

She realized fully then, that the unfazed nature of her Captain wasn’t crafted. It was forced onto him by the circumstances. Because he must. Because it was the only way to survive. To tune out everything, to be numb, so the mental corrosion wouldn’t affect his mind.

And it was just so heartbreaking for her young mind, who had only known the comfort of the higher zones.

Her tears lasted for a while, and Zein kept patting her back to calm her down. Dheera’s cry also triggered the others who were rather sensitive, and there was suddenly a feast of cries in the lounge outside the simulation chamber--although none was louder than the girl clinging to Zein.

"... ’m sorry," Dheera whispered between sobs.

"Why are you sorry?"

Dheera tried to quell her sobbing, chest trembling as she took a deep breath. She looked up at the calm blue eyes that were gazing at the dispirited guides. "You m-must be disappointed, Captain..."

"Hmm..." Zein looked in the direction of the simulation hall. "It’s rather disappointing," he said. The guides’ shoulders dropped at their Captain’s remark, but Zein added. "It’s not as severe as the real one--probably about eighty percent accurate."

The guides widened their eyes, too shocked and flabbergasted to even make a squeak. Their body stiffened at the fact that they were this shaken when it wasn’t even as harsh as the real condition. They had whined while shamelessly talking big, without even realizing the severity of the place they would walk into.

Just like Dheera, they lowered their gaze, feeling ashamed and dejected by their own complacency. Even Nadine, the stalwart one, couldn’t bring herself to look at Zein’s eyes. She had been complaining about Zein’s decision to leave her here, and those times pricked her conscience right now.

Looking at their dejected face, Zein let out a small, wry smile, before sighing again. "I’m not disappointed in you for failing," he said. "In fact, if you can instantly get over it, there’s something wrong with you."

Zein himself had to get used to it at first. It helped that he had lived in the red-zone all his life, so he only needed a few adjustments in the borderland. But there were a lot of guides who still refused to enter the Deathzone, even if they were fine in the Borderland. It was that different, that treacherous. That was why Zein used to take over the sentry and excursion duty because it was between him and the psychopathic guide who was there as a punishment.

The guides looked up again, blinking innocently. Zein’s smile stretched a little bit wider. "This is why we have this simulation training; so you can get used to it gradually."

He patted Dheera’s head, who was still holding the edge of his jacket like a lost child. The blue eyes swept the room again, staring at the guides’ eyes one by one.

"It’s a process, so don’t beat yourself for it just because you can’t hold on on the first try," he continued, before curling his lips and adding. "But well, I guess you’ll be less smug now."

Zein chuckled, and the guides slowly let out an embarrassed smile. But finally, they recovered from their disappointment in themselves. This experience became a huge wake-up call for them, although it left a bitter after-taste in their mouth.

Well, no medicine tastes good anyway.

"Now, for a more serious note," Zein tapped on Dheera’s shoulder so the girl would let him go. He looked at their eyes keenly, firmly. "I want you to visit the counseling department today--I already told them that you’ll come later," he glanced at Alice, who nodded in confirmation, before continuing in a softer voice. "Talk to them, and think again about your participation."

This time, it was the other guides who were sighing, even Nadine. Now they understood even more why Zein always gave them rigorous training, and could finally realize their shortcoming.

"From now on, you’ll attend counseling twice a month, so we can make sure that you’re alright," Zein continued sternly. "Understood?"

"Yes, Captain," they solemnly nodded.

Trinity had always had a free counseling facility, and guides had always been encouraged to use it because they were prone to stress from the accumulated absorbed miasma.

This time though, it wasn’t just absorbing miasma. It was like drowning in a pool of miasma. Just looking at their condition now, no one would dare to walk out without talking it out with someone first.

"Good," Zein nodded, once again patting Dheera’s head. "I won’t give any more training today, so use the rest of the time well."

"Thank you, Captain," Nadine bowed his head slightly, and Zein bid them goodbye.

He let out another sigh after stepping out of the lounge, and decided to go downstairs for a sweet coffee. He had predicted this result, but still...seeing them crying like that was pretty hard.

At this thought, Zein paused, finger hovering above the elevator button. How fascinating; he wouldn’t think like that if it was his old self. Perhaps, just like what Dheera thought, he would be disappointed in those guides.

Huh...seemed like he had softened up a lot.

"I heard wailing," Zein heard Abel’s voice just as he resumed pressing the elevator button. Zein just smiled wryly, and Abel raised his brow when he saw it in the reflection of the elevator door. "That bad?"

"You want to taste it yourself?"

"Hmm...I should," Abel rubbed his chin in serious contemplation. "I can’t offer counsel without knowing how it feels, can I?"

"Right," Zein nodded as the elevator door opened, and added while entering the lift. "Make sure you’re in a good place first."

Abel followed him and pressed the button of the ground floor. They leaned back against the elevator door and rode down in silence for a while.

"Do you think they’ll be alright?" Abel asked.

"Depends," Zein exhaled slowly, recalling the miserable faces of the guides. For some reason, though, he wasn’t too worried. "But I have faith."

Abel raised his brow again, tilting his head with a smirk on his lips. "Look at you, trusting your people so much."

Zein just chuckled at that. He too, was quite surprised at how much he became attached to those kids; the people he nurtured with his own hand, his own method. They were his disciples, his kids, and it made him feel responsible for their wellbeing.

"Well, this is good," Abel crossed his arms. "Better know now than later in the real place."

"True," Zein agreed. Looking at the reaction today, it was clear that experiencing dungeons was still lacking as preparation. He couldn’t imagine how disastrous it would be if they came without experiencing the simulation. "I’m glad Mortix managed to figure out how to use the Specter core."

"In a good way," Abel added.

"Good for us," Zein shrugged. He realized something eerie when he looked at his kids earlier. "If it’s not regulated strictly, someone might use it as a torture device."

The elevator door opened and they stepped outside, naturally heading to the coffee shop without having to mention it.

"It’s all relative, huh?" Abel chuckled. He glanced at Zein and lowered his voice to a whisper. "If people know Mortix has those cores, it would probably cause trouble."

"Yeah, so no one knows but those involved."

Abel smiled and replied cheekily. "I know."

"I trust you."

"Aww..." Abel clutched his chest teasingly, just for Zein to scoff and rolled his eyes. While he was laughing, they entered the coffee shop and made their order. "Anyway, when’s the trial going to be?" he asked while they waited for their drink.

"I don’t know," Zein glanced at his commlink to check for the time. "I’m going to see Radia after this."

Abel propped his elbow on the counter and scrutinized the other guide. "You’ve become so busy."

A guide’s role was supposed to be pretty straightforward; guiding. But Zein had been so busy ever since Trinity was chosen for the reclamation project, and it became so rare to even see him in the guild compound. But even outside the matter of preparation for the Deathzone, it seemed like Zein kept having something to do.

"Not that I asked for it," Zein shrugged. Things just...happened, unveiling themselves even without Zein asking.

"Good thing your boyfriend’s activity revolves around you, huh? If you move around like that while your lover waits at home, there’ll be a fight, I tell you."

Zein raised his brow and smirked. "Talking from experience?"

Abel cleared his throat awkwardly, and Zein couldn’t help but chuckle. "She told you to not go to the Deathzone, didn’t she?"

"...Yeah,"

"She’s right," Zein leaned against the counter, glancing at the Chief Guide. He looked up, eyes to the ceiling, but mind to the members of his division. "People with a lot to lose can’t go there. It’ll only become a feed for the miasma."

Abel frowned slightly. "Don’t you have a lot to lose too?"

"What I lost is inside the Deathzone now," Zein shrugged. "And what I still have..." he glanced at the window, at the esper who waved from him outside the glass wall, and the pair of ambers staring only at him and nothing else. "...will accompany me there."

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