There's No Love In the Deathzone (BL)
Chapter 304 - 296. Regret

Chapter 304: Chapter 296. Regret

Just as Bassena finally managed to gather a willingness to move and left the rarely adorably clingy Zein behind, the front door beeped open and they saw the nanny come inside.

"Oh, you haven’t departed?"

"How could I leave a sick man alone?" Bassena pursed his lips, as if feeling offended by the notion of someone thinking he could be that uncaring.

"Don’t exaggerate," Nayla rolled her eyes. "I know you’re already late, so just go now."

Bassena, who had hardened his heart a minute ago, looked at the guide again and felt his heart wavering. "Just go," Zein chuckled. If the show is late, you’ll just be going home late."

Sighing, Bassena lowered his head and kissed the guide briefly, before turning to look at his nanny. Which would become Zein’s nanny today. "Take care of him well, okay? Don’t let him do any work today."

Zein rolled his eyes. Despite what he promised earlier? Was he so bad at taking care of himself that even his boyfriend continued to doubt him?

"If I can handle you, I can handle everyone," Nayla waved her hand and scoffed at the esper. No matter how old Bassena was, and how powerful he was now, he was still but a boy in his nanny’s eyes.

"Ugh--fine, fine," Bassena begrudgingly trudging into the garage as Zein bid him goodbye in a peal of fond laughter.

Zein watched Bassena go as the nanny started to clean the dishes and take out the groceries she brought to the kitchen island. "Is there anything you want to eat, Mister Zein?"

"Zein," the guide corrected, and Nayla smiled subtly at the stubbornness of this man refusing to be called with an honorific, despite the fact of him being the head of House Ishtera already spreading wide. Zein ate the peach that Bassena prepared for him while contemplating his lunch menu. "Something with meat...I think."

"Can you eat that already?"

"I should be," Zein shrugged. Besides, shouldn’t eating meat be a good way to replenish his energy?

"Alright, Zein," Nayla smiled and nodded, while Zein gave her an ’ok’ sign as approval to how the nanny forwent the ’Mister’. She chuckled before suddenly pointing toward the guide. "Ah, just so you know, I’ll be watching you today."

"Haa...I got it," Zein couldn’t help but groan at the repeated reminder. "I have no intention to do it anyway."

Or so he said. But after spending an hour watching the television upstairs, changing from channel to channel, he was getting extremely bored. His body, which had built a habit of exercising every day, felt itchy just sitting still.

Slowly, he glanced at the commlink lying on the side table. He reached out to take the device, and started to comb through his messages. Mainly, it was from his guides telling him to get well soon. There was one from Han Shin, full of capslock and exclamation, telling Zein he would visit after he was out of the lab’s quarantine later this evening. There was one from the Guildmaster, telling him he would be grounded if Radia saw him in the guild building today.

Chuckling to himself, Zein felt the warmth from all of those messages healing his body slightly. Good--he felt like would be fine after eating lunch and took another batch of fever reducer.

But after finished reading all of the messages, he felt bored again. His itching hand slid over to the folder icon where he stored all of the documents related to his work. And like a persistent habit, his fingers pressed on the newest document instinctively.

At least, he was about to, before the commlink was yanked away from his hand. He looked up to see the nanny’s stern face, eyes narrowed and finger wriggling in front of Zein. "Nuh-uh, no no, you promised not to work today."

"I just want to check a little--" Zein was making excuses, but he pressed his lips when the nanny’s eyes narrowed even more. For some reason, he felt his throat dry, and after swallowing his saliva, he cleared his throat and said quietly; "I’m bored..."

Nayla chuckled slightly, but she didn’t give Zein the commlink back. "In that case, would you like to chat with me?" she asked while moving to the big fish tank with a wiping cloth in her hand.

"Sure, but I’m not much of a talker," Zein shrugged. Anything to stave off this boredom.

"You can just listen to my story, then," the nanny laughed softly. "Hmm...would you like to hear what Young Master liked when he was a child?"

Zein perked up, the blue eyes sparkling slightly in clear interest. Even without the guide saying it, Nayla could see the enthusiasm--which was fascinating for her, since Zein rarely made a change in his face. Well, it was about his lover, after all.

Zein already heard the story of how Bassena was in the academy, both from Bassena himself and the people who were there with him; mainly Radia, Shin, and Reina. But the story about Bassena’s childhood, especially the one before his mother died, was still shrouded in mystery. The only story he heard was about the start of Bassena’s fear of rats--and it definitely wasn’t a pleasant one.

And even more than that, Zein had wondered what kind of mother Svadiva was, what kind of woman. When he thought back to what could have been, should the Golden Viper manage to capture Lucia, she might end up in the same position as Bassena’s mother; someone who was trapped inside a scum of a family, while people trying to use their sons.

"Hmm...where should I start?" Nayla started to wipe the fish tank in contemplation, searching for the memories from two decades ago. "It’s probably hard to believe now, but Young Master used to be a very adorable child,"

"He’s still adorable now," Zein shrugged,

Nayla raised her brow, leaning sideways to peer at the guide from the other side of the fish tank, smiling in surprise. "Then it is probably thanks to you, Zein," she laughed softly. "Because he certainly hadn’t been adorable to anyone else ever since..."

She paused, not only her voice but also her wiping hand. There was a clear pain in her voice even when Zein couldn’t see her face clearly. He exhaled and continued her words. "His mother?"

From what Bassena told him, the Vaskis were starting to turn Bassena into a killing machine right after her death. Even if he didn’t end up awakened, they would have made him into a ’cleaner’ like any other Golden Viper kid.

"Yes," Nayla replied with a forlorn smile as she continued with her cleaning, as well as her story. "Young Master was...I wouldn’t say he was spoiled, but the Lady sheltered him from the rest of the Vaskis, so he grew up into this...sweet, innocent child who was vastly different from the other Vaski children."

Zein raised his brow. Even though he always said that Bassena was adorable, it was hard to put the word sweet or innocent in that tall, muscly magician. But Zein reckoned there was always a basis for everything; Bassena’s innocence on certain things, his sweet and adorable side...it wasn’t that he changed because of Zein. The guide just pulled out the side that Bassena had when he was still loved and safe mentally, under the umbrella of his mother’s love.

The nanny, however, shook her head in sadness. "I understood her instinct to protect him as a mother, but unfortunately, it eventually led to her death."

Zein narrowed his eyes since he could instantly see why. "Because they thought she hindered Bassena’s growth?"

"Perhaps," Nayla smiled at the indignation in Zein’s voice. "Or maybe, they just didn’t like the fact that someone who bore the name Vaski could live like a normal child with a loving parent--who knows,"

"It could be both," Zein spat with a cynical sneer. He knew enough that there was no limit to human cruelty.

"That’s true," the nanny stopped her cleaning, sighing as she watched the miniature lake and the fish swimming back and forth. Her eyes became unfocused as she walked down memory lane, digging a moment she could never erase from her mind. "I remember the day we heard about her ’accident’," she shook her head, hatred and anger dripping from her voice as she said the nonsensical word. "I was consoling him--no, we were consoling each other. But before he could even properly grieve, those people ripped him away from my hands."

Zein could see her pained, scrunched face as she relived the memory. "They took Young Master away and fired me on the spot. I was lucky that I wasn’t awakened, just a worthless nobody to them. So they didn’t think killing me was worth the hassle," she smiled bitterly. "Thanks to that, I stayed alive."

Her voice, her face, her gestures, everything was so familiar to Zein. It was something he had struggled with for the past five years; regret. The regret of surviving while people he treasured didn’t. The thought of whether or not he deserved it, the constant question of what if; what if he did something before, what if he was more careful, what if he did this, what if he did that. What if he could save them?

He could see that kind of question haunting her too. What if she warned her not to go? What if she took little Bassena away the moment she heard about the news? What if...what if...

"That’s good," Zein told the surprised nanny. "You get away and survive so Bassena can find you later and reconnect with his ’family’," he continued, "with someone he knew would be on his side. It’s important for him."

If she insisted on staying there for Bassena, she might be treated as another hindrance, and who knew what they would do to her? As someone without any significant background, it would be easy for the Vaskis to make her disappear without any trace.

And if Bassena found out about that, the man would get even more devastated. The only thing that kept him from becoming the killing machine the Golden Viper groomed him to be was the existence of people who were still giving him care and affection; Radia and Joon, Han Shin and Reina, the nanny and the artisans whom he shared the memory of his mother with.

If there was something Zein could learn from his own regret and guilt, it was that everything happened for a reason, even if that reason didn’t sit well with him.

And that there was nothing wrong with surviving.

"Thank you," Nayla smiled at the beautiful man who had pulled back her sweet, adorable Sena. She shook her head out of the gloomy thought clouding her mind and clapped her hands. "Ah--let’s not talk about gloomy things today. Let me tell you about what naughty thing Young Master Sena used to do."

Search the lightnovelworld.cc website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.