There's No Love In the Deathzone (BL)
Chapter 260 - 253. Cutting Poppies

Chapter 260: Chapter 253. Cutting Poppies

"Why would I go to that kind of place? Are there any sane people willing to step into a sewer?" the Saintess answered without hiding her repugnance.

"Willing..." Zein repeated the phrase she used. "Do you know how many people live in the red-zone willing to do so? Voluntarily?"

"How would I know? Probably all of the--"

"None," Zein said bitterly. "No one wants to live in such an environment."

Zein almost wanted to sigh long and hard. He knew how little the Temple made an effort to save the trafficked, neglected guides in the end zones. But to think that the Saintess, the Temple’s symbol and representative, had so little compassion to understand what was going on with the more unfortunate guide...

What pillar? What umbrella?

How laughable it was, how ironic, that every guide who had even ended up in the red-zones, in the slum and those illegal brothels, had prayed to the Goddesses, had put their hope on the Temple. They had prayed, hoped, wished, begged to be saved by this institution that was supposed to protect them.

Zein...Zein didn’t even know something like the Temple existed until he heard it uttered in a prayer of someone kidnapped by Umbra. He was glad though; he didn’t have to sport any false hope about being rescued.

"You’re right about that; no sane people are willing to live in a sewer," he looked at the Saintess, the blue eyes gleaming sharply in the darkening light. "Not even those rogue guilds."

"Are you putting on a pity play right now?" the Saintess laughed again. She waved her sleeve to light the lanterns around the pavilions, making the space brighter. "Are you saying because you’re so pitiful you can just be excused for doing crime?"

Zein did not flinch at the display of authority. He found it interesting, however, that the Saintess could use mana. But he could think about that later. He smiled and shook his head slightly.

"No, those who committed crimes need to face judgment. Assholes are still assholes whatever their background is, whether they lived pitifully in the red-zone," the corner of his lips curled as the blue eyes stared deeply into the Saintess. "Or living nicely in the other zones."

He could see the Saintess grit her teeth, realizing that Zein included her in that ’asshole’ he mentioned. But reacting to it would mean she felt being called out, so she pressed her lips indignantly, giving leeway for Zein to continue.

"And like any other zone, there are a lot of decent people there, who try to live their best despite the harsh conditions," the guide still looked at her deeply, as if gauging her soul. "Are you trying to say the children born there, who had no say in their birth and lifestyle, are dirty too?"

"I--I don’t..." Vallaria stammered. That calm and serene gaze even while spewing harsh words started to unnerve her. "What are you trying to say?!"

At her reaction, Zein couldn’t help but let out a sigh. The Temple...was this truly what the magnificent Temple was like? He wondered if it was just naivety or pure blindness. He wondered if living a comfortable life would scrape someone of their compassion and conscience, rather than amplify it.

"Just open your eyes a little bit, Saintess. Not everything is black and white," Zein looked at her with a pitiful gaze. "Not even the way you act,"

"How impudent!" the Saintess lashed out. That deep gaze, that calm tone, the relaxed way of him sitting on the chair as if he was the one who owned the place, as if he was the Saint instead...

Vallaria gritted her teeth. No! He was nothing. This was her palace. "You trespass in my territory and...spew out this...this slander!"

Zein raised his brow at the way she slammed her foot into the ground, hands balled into fists. "You...don’t have any talent for doing bad things, huh?" he smiled wryly. "Or are you just too used to thinking whatever you’re doing is right that you can’t have even one person challenging you?"

"You--" the Saintess gritted her teeth and walked forward with hard steps, slamming her hands on the table in front of Zein. "Stop acting so high and mighty! You’re also an adult with a choice! You stayed in that guild knowing well what they did! You help bad people! You’re just as bad!"

Like a reflex, Bassena stepped into the pavilion again when he heard his guide was being accused again. "He did not choose to--"

"Yes, you’re right," Zein, once again, cut the esper, prompting Bassena to press his lips and stop, staying still in his place. "I have a choice."

At Zein’s response, the Saintess’s lips form a sneer, the hazel eyes staring down at Zein smugly.

"I have a choice," Zein repeated. "I chose to guide espers indiscriminately."

"What? That’s not what I--"

"That’s all I did, all I know how to do," Zein continued. "I guide espers so they don’t erupt, just like any other guides."

The Saintess crossed her arms again and scoffed. "Hah! So you don’t care even if they are criminals?"

"No," Zein replied without hesitation. "It’s not my role to judge people. If the espers I guide were to do something awful, it’s on them, not me,"

Of course, it wasn’t like Zein had never raised such a question to himself, even while he had no other choice but to guide those bastards that made his life miserable. But seventeen years of experience taught him a lot; that choosing your patient was a stupid thing to do.

He could guide a perfectly good esper, and that esper could kill someone in the next month. Should he stop guiding any esper, then, since their ability could potentially harm people? Even healer-type esper could easily harm civilians.

With guiding and esper’s corrosion, it was never that simple.

"We don’t get to scrutinize each and every conduct an esper did before deciding to cleanse them," Zein continued, glancing slightly toward Bassena. "Just like how a doctor and a healer cure someone, it is human’s instinct to prevent death, even if it’s not ours."

Bassena felt his heart constricted. If Zein was the type of guide to only guide espers he knew, or espers he thought to be good, then Zein would never make a decision to guide him that day. They would never meet again, since he would be dead anyway.

At the same time, his words about choosing espers felt like a jab to the Temple system, in which espers should make a reservation first, and would be chosen based on their ’importance’. And not in the sense of urgency, but how much power and money they hold.

Perhaps because she also felt this, the Saintess became even more defensive. "But you know! You already know those people are bad!"

"Yes," Zein sighed, getting tired of this so-called Saintess’ not-so-graceful response. "And I supposed I was guilty of making sure they were not erupting in the middle of a crowded place."

The Saintess froze, and Zein stood up from his chair, stepping forward to face the widened hazel eyes with the marble table between them.

"You’ve never seen it, have you?" the blue eyes were sharp, as piercing as the low voice coming behind the mask. "How devastating an esper’s eruption could be? How many innocent lives snuffed because of it?"

Except for a few cases inside the dungeon, there were rarely any cases of eruption in this modern day. With the increasing number of guides, and facilities like the cleansing clinic in the guide center for espers and guilds that couldn’t afford a private guide, even the near erupted espers could be immediately sent to the nearest guide. There was no case of eruption because of unfortunate incidents over the past few decades.

But that was in the higher-zone.

During his career, Zein had seen two eruptions; once inside a dungeon, and once about ten years ago. It was fortunate that the eruption happened outside of town, and he managed to dunk behind a tanker’s shield. Fifteen espers died, and the edge of the residential area was slammed with the shockwave, destroying the walls of the furthest housing complex.

For days after, he had nightmares of it happening inside the residential area.

Being selective had never been an option for a guide.

The dagger inside Zein’s eyes and voice made the Saintess flinch and pull away slightly. "I..." she tried to speak, but found it hard to say anything in front of the invisible blizzard that Zein emitted.

"But I’m not here to defend myself or anything, you can badmouth me however you like," after staring her down for a minute, Zein pulled back from the table, and the quiet hail subsided. "I just hope that, as a Saintess, you can have more compassion to avoid calling people ’dirty’ just because of your prejudice."

Did...did this lowly guide from that lowly place just lecture her? Vallaria felt herself trembling in fury and humiliation, so much that she couldn’t even open her clenched jaw for a while.

"Are you doing this because you think what I said is wrong? Because I was talking against the Temple’s system?" Zein tilted his head, observing the Saintess. "I don’t think so, unless the Temple is so narrow-minded and irresponsible that you don’t care about guides’ well-being outside the Temple."

"Of--of course we care!" she managed to voice out a defense.

"Then why?" Zein narrowed his eyes. "Don’t tell me you’re doing this because you want me out of the picture so you can have Bassena for yourselves,"

The Saintess flinched, biting his lips in flusters. "T-that’s..."

Zein arched his brow. "Really?"

He had been wondering whether the one who did it was the Temple as an institution, or whether it was just a whim of an individual. But it seemed like he found the answer.

The Saintess--no, the woman named Vallaria bit her lips hard until it bled, as if suppressing an incredible humiliation. With a red face and glaring eyes, she screamed. "So what? So what?! I’m the Saintess! I should be able to choose my esper! So what if I want him?"

Zein frowned and narrowed his eyes. "Doesn’t he have any say in this? He has the right to choose too."

"He should have chosen me! I’m better than someone like you! He deserves someone better than you!"

Bassena, who suddenly found himself to be the subject of conversation, stirred with furrowed brows. "That’s--"

"Who cares?" Zein, once again, cut the esper.

"What--"

"Him, you, me--we might deserve someone better, or deserve someone worse," Zein looked at the Saintess sharply. "That doesn’t negate the fact that we have the right to choose."

Zein let out a sigh and stepped back, away from the Saintess. It was tiring arguing with her, when he just wanted to get his esper back home. Perhaps because of this, when he spoke again, his tone was softer. "I made a choice to guide him, and he made a choice to receive it. No one should have any say in this matter but the two people involved," in the next second, however, his tone shifted to a firmer one. "And you...you have no say either."

Again, Bassena felt his heart clenched, looking at the familiar back that felt so wide today. Gods--he felt like he fell in love all over again.

He had his eyes all on Zein, not even giving a glance at the Saintess who was trembling in rage, eyes blazing and raising her hand.

Shooting a blast of mana toward his beloved guide.