There's No Love In the Deathzone (BL)
Chapter 250 - 243. Murky Waters

Chapter 250: Chapter 243. Murky Waters

It was the same field of withered grass. The same patch of red soil. The same glaring red sky.

He felt courageous before, but Zein couldn’t lie that he wished he visited this place with Bassena by his side. Every step that he took toward the memorial site made his necklace feel heavier. At one point, he paused. He stopped walking and just stared blankly ahead.

His body instinctively knew, that this was the place. This was the point where he stood for hours looking at the blazing fire, filling the night sky with the stench of tears and agony. This was the point where he left his old name behind. ’Zen’ was dead here. Even if Umbra did not disappear that day, ’Zen’ would never come back there.

No one urged him; whether it was the Scarlet Moon who knew, or Jock who only guessed. They waited patiently for the man who fought the tremble on his legs. From here, they could see the ’memorial’--a simple large slab of stone with the name of the dead carved on its surface. It stood in the middle of a bald patch of field--even after five years, no grass was willing to grow above the land where dozens of people were cremated en masse.

This was what Bassena worried about, wasn’t it? Zein smiled bitterly, taking out a ring from his storage and putting it instantly on his index finger as he started walking again.

It felt like traversing muddy water at first, the heaviness traveled from his neck to his legs. But with every pulse of soothing waves from his earring, Zein’s step slowly became lighter. He grasped his wrist, rubbing the Paladin’s Tear while taking steady breaths until he arrived at a distance where he could see the names carved on the stone.

They said people had selective hearing; but Zein thought he must have selective vision too, because he could instantly recognize the twin’s names.

Aiden. Hayden. Just two simple names, as Zein had given to the one taking account of that time.

But that was better. He would feel gutted to see that bastard’s name attached to his little brothers. Zein crouched in front of those names and touched the carving gently, as if he was afraid he might break the stone.

Yes, he smiled. They were his little brothers. They always were, and would always be. No matter what blood ran through their vein, no one could deny that they were brothers.

If Zeid had to be honest, he rather regretted choosing to have them burned then. At that time, he didn’t think he would have a future where he could afford a proper burial for them, but now...now that he had the means and the money, there was no remain he could take.

For a short moment, Zein was laughing. A soft chuckle that was filled with both bitterness and contentment.

Ah...he was sure it wasn’t the right attitude to have in front of a memorial, but aside from Svadiva Vaski’s grave, Zein had never visited a remembrance of someone’s death before--someone with a personal connection to him, at least. In Borderland, the dead was either sent back to their hometown or instantly cremated, because burying corpses there would result in corrupted walking corpses emerging.

But surely, his two mischievous little brothers would understand his lack of manner.

"You are my brothers," Zein whispered. "If you were still alive, your name would be Ishtera. Remember that."

Zein stood up after that, and, after looking at the names once more for the last time, turned around to see Jock looking at him keenly. "I’m fine," Zein said with a chuckle, taking off the ring Azure gave him while walking away from the memorial stone. "You can tell Radia that."

The bodyguard smiled amiably. "I’m sure you are,"

Zein scoffed and asked Alma if she wanted to come to the construction site with him and have a little reunion party--which they couldn’t do before in Projo. Surprisingly, Alma refused; probably because she felt bad doing that without the rest of the group.

She did ask for any booze and snacks Zein could give her, though, prompting Zein to laugh while taking out a big box filled exactly with what Alma requested. Indeed, he already prepared his gift from the start.

They promised to meet tomorrow morning for a little stroll before Zein got back to Althrea, and parted ways.

* * *

Zein found out that he couldn’t fall asleep there.

It wasn’t because he had been too used to the comfort of the green-zone. He was already a light sleeper, and staying in the red-zone’s atmosphere brought him back to his old days. Days when he couldn’t feel asleep because he was too afraid something would happen to him and the twins in the middle of the night. Unless he was completely exhausted, it was hard for him to rest properly. Perhaps that was why he sleep easier and longer after good sex.

Unfortunately, today’s activity wasn’t physically exhausting enough for him. And diving into the old atmosphere that had suffocated him for most of his life made his nerves tense. He kind of wished he could talk even just a little bit with Bassena, hearing the esper’s voice and feeling a little bit of warmth.

Ah...it would be nice if he save some recording of Bassena’s show in his commlink, just so he could hear the low, husky voice a little bit.

Hmm, recording...

When it started to get bright enough outside, Zein got out of his tent--which was way more comfortable than any other houses there--and met an already awaken Jock. For all he knew, the man probably didn’t sleep too, since he had to stand guard for him. This place, after all, was one of the most dangerous spots for the guide--easy for anyone to target Zein while Bassena was all the way in Althrea.

"Breakfast?" the man raised a bowl of instant noodles, and Zein, raising his brow, welcomed it with a smirk.

No Radia and Bassena to criticize his unhealthy choice of meal, so might as well.

As they waited for the water to finish boiling, they saw Alma coming into the camping site, looking absolutely sober--as expected of a berserker. Of course, Alma wouldn’t refuse a good nice broth in the early morning for her hangover, or whatever was left of it.

"What happened to my old building? Did you destroy it?" Zein asked as they enjoyed their noodle.

"It’s easier to rebuild it than fix a half-destroyed building," Alma shrugged. "We rebuilt in the same lot, though. But..." she pursed his lips and glanced at Zein. "Your unit wouldn’t be there anymore."

"Why would you rebuild my unit?" Zein scoffed. It would be more ridiculous to still expect his old place to be there, when there was no longer anything there.

Alma slurped the broth loudly, all at once, and Zein stared at her with intrigue. He knew her enough to tell that Alma was nervous about something.

"What?" Zein asked the berserker straight out.

"I...took the stuff in your place and...kept them."

Zein’s fork paused mid-air. Jock and Alma could see his fingers tremble slightly. The blue eyes stared at Alma, unblinking, and the berserker added cautiously.

"The clothes and...school book and such."

Slowly, the blue eyes blinked. "You kept them for five years?"

"Yeah," Alma shrugged slightly. "In case you come back."

"Hah--" Zein bit his cheek, and to their astonishment, lowered his head and chuckled. It did sound a bit like he was choking on the noodle’s spice, but if there was a slight glaze in the guide’s eyes, the two espers didn’t say anything about it. "Haa..." Zein lifted his face and to Alma’s surprise, had a smile on his face. "Thank you, I’ll pick them up later."

"Oh, yeah..." Alma was rarely surprised, but she was completely thrown off right now.

So it was true what they had been saying; Zein was truly changing. For the better.

And as if that wasn’t enough, Alma proceeded to watch Zein asking Jock how to record things in his expensive commlink. And after that, she watched Zein start recording when they were strolling around the town.

The guide, specifically, would record the place he frequented in the past; the general store where he bought stuff, the ’playground’ where children played with simple swings and see-saws made of leftover materials, the site where his house used to be, even the ravine with an unmovable boulder he used as a hiding place.

Zein would mumble a short explanation about the place, and carefully check the recording afterward. It was clear that he took the recording for someone, and Alma didn’t need to ask who it was.

Alma was fascinated.

But what fascinated her the most was that Zein actually looked rather excited as he did the recording, blue eyes shining brightly to show that the guide was in a good mood. Zein was happy--happier than Alma had ever seen him in the entire time they knew each other.

"This should be enough, right?" Zein muttered as he saved the last recording, which was actually the Scarlet Moon’s base, since they had to get the stuff Alma kept from his house.

"You can always come here together and give me another vacation," Jock remarked with a smirk.

Zein scoffed and followed Alma inside to take the stuff before they headed back to Area 14. The berserker had kept the stuff in a box, perching atop her wardrobe untouched for five years--given the dust above the box. It wasn’t big, just a couple of things that could still be salvaged from that disaster. A couple of teenagers’ clothes, schoolbooks and notebooks, a few trinkets. Stuff that no longer had an owner, honestly. Zein himself wasn’t really sure he had the courage to look at these things alone without the sturdy support of his esper’s presence, so he just put the box away without opening it.

Before Zein could put the box inside his storage ring, however, Jock was barging inside--and there was only one reason he would do that.

"What happened?" Zein hurriedly put the box inside his storage ring and stood up with a frown.

"We need to leave now," the bodyguard said, already having his hand on Zein’s back to usher him. There was just one instance this happened before; during their visit to Rexon when they were trying to dodge whoever pursuing Zein.

Alma and Zach were instantly alarmed by this sight. "What happened?"

"Is someone--"

"No," Jock said immediately. His tone was calm, but he didn’t stop leading Zein away as quickly as possible. "Well, I’m not sure, but I am under order to get you out of here immediately and put you into protection right now."

"Protection from what?" Zein narrowed his eyes. The only one who could order Jock was Radia, and since they couldn’t exactly communicate, the order must have come via telepathy.

Right outside the base, Zein saw Naomi was already there, holding a tablet that had a remote connection to the nearest orange-zone town. He instinctively reached out to the tablet and took it from her hand. There, across the screen, was an article with bold title;

[The Truth Behind Trinity’s ’Valiant’ Guide]

"What the hell is this?"