The world has turned into Hell's Game, why should I stay human?
Chapter 59: You wouldn’t want me to poop everywhere, right?

Chapter 59: Chapter 59: You wouldn’t want me to poop everywhere, right?

The swift blade scraped over the eyes, a skill Liu Zheng had heard of.

However, it was used to scrape the blisters on the eyelids, to relieve "trachoma".

But the employee at Unlucky Coffee was truly scraping away his eyes.

The employee’s knife was so fast that Liu Zheng hadn’t even felt pain before everything went pitch black.

After examining the scraped-out eyeballs for a few seconds, the employee placed them on a tray to the side.

"The second service, ear picking."

Hearing the employee’s words, Liu Zheng’s expression was subtly complex.

In reality, he often went for ear picking, half for the comfort, and half as a sleep aid.

But now he didn’t even have ears, just holes; how could they be picked?

The employee quickly gave Liu Zheng the answer.

He pinched and kneaded around Liu Zheng’s ear holes, and his flesh, like Play-Doh, was molded into two ears.

Although Liu Zheng couldn’t see, he roughly guessed what he was doing.

Next, the employee took out an ear spoon and carefully carved around the edges of the ears, digging them both out.

He then placed them beside the eyeballs.

"The third service, opening the face."

When ancient women got married, they would have skilled and good-looking women in their families twist their faces to remove the fine hairs on their faces.

It was for the sake of beauty as well as symbolizing the start of a new life.

The employee also greatly respected this custom, taking out a full set of phoenix coronet and robes for Liu Zheng to put on.

Even because his bald head was too slippery to hold the coronet, the employee used a few thumbtacks to secure it in place.

Had Liu Zheng still been able to see, he would have been astounded by such craftsmanship.

Once dressed, the employee took out a thin hemp rope.

In reality, twisting the face required two strings, but he only needed one.

The employee laid the rope against Liu Zheng’s forehead and slowly rolled it downward.

A thin layer of facial skin was twisted off, revealing the blood vessels and tendons beneath.

Pinching the sides of the skin, the employee carefully adjusted the angle and laid it out on the tray.

Along with the eyeballs and ears, it formed a complete face.

"Is it done now?"

Liu Zheng blinked his eyes.

He could now slightly control the priority of his body parts; organs as small as eyeballs had regrown in the span of a few minutes.

But he hadn’t adjusted yet and couldn’t stop the tears from flowing uncontrollably.

As for the facial skin?

Since he wasn’t relying on his face to make a living anymore, he might as well let it grow back slowly.

"It’s done, sir,"

the employee said gently.

All restraints automatically loosened, and the chair returned to its lifting form.

"Sir, your face is quite perfect. We plan to display it as a corporate image; would you be willing to write us a blessing?"

The employee handed him a pen.

Liu Zheng now noticed that there was a piece of white paper under the tray.

"Sure,"

he said generously.

He then wrote down a line of regular script.

"Unlucky Restaurant, screw you."

"Thank you, sir."

The employee, unfazed, carried the tray away.

"By the way, may I specify a delivery person?"

Liu Zheng suddenly asked.

"Oh no, sir. This isn’t a maid café."

The employee said with a smile.

"Is that so? That’s truly a pity,"

he said with regret.

Upon leaving Unlucky Coffee, Liu Zheng returned to the entrance of the office building.

All eyes were once again cast his way, not regarding his delivery box, but his face.

"What are you looking at? Haven’t you seen a bare face before?"

Liu Zheng said irritably.

With his gaze making those painted faces withdraw, Liu Zheng handed the cleaning staff the coffee.

"This is the coffee I promised you. And these are extra desserts for you."

The moment the cleaning staff saw the half-baked cheesecake, their painted faces suddenly flushed with excitement, and their white-slitted eyes turned into starry eyes.

"Is this appropriate?"

Her tone was suddenly hesitant.

"What’s inappropriate about it? You work so hard cleaning; what’s wrong with having some cake?"

"If the higher-ups don’t get along, that’s their business; what does it have to do with us workers, right?"

Liu Zheng pushed the cake into her hands.

"Right?"

The cleaning staff were still hesitant.

"If you don’t want it, I’ll take it away."

He took out a chew stick.

"If you try to take it by force, I’ll let the dogs out."

"You don’t want your front yard to be covered in dog poop, do you?"

Liu Zheng had a sly smile on his face.

"I don’t need that kind of trouble!"

The cleaner shrieked then stuffed the cake into her mouth and chewed vigorously.

"Is it delicious?"

"It’s so delicious."

The cleaner shed tears of happiness that smeared with ink.

"Look at you, slaving away for the property management, not even able to afford a cake—what’s the point?"

"How much of my extorted money do you actually get?"

Liu Zheng asked.

"Two, two hundred."

The cleaner replied.

"Two hundred?! Are you kidding beggars?"

He shouted loudly.

The cleaner showed a shamed expression.

"Are you married?"

"Married. Last year my husband couldn’t find work, and City Hall took care of him. Three and a half small kids, all depending on me alone."

The cleaner said gloomily, her sparkly eyes becoming downcast.

"Here you go."

Liu Zheng pulled out five hundred yuan and slapped it on her chest.

"I was in a hurry this time, didn’t bring much money. This little bit, let the kids have some meat to eat, take it as uncle’s small token."

"How could I accept this?"

The cleaner’s painted face turned red again.

Looking at the color and texture, it appeared to be dyed with the juice of some flower.

"Take it, if you don’t, you’re insulting me."

Liu Zheng said sternly.

"How could I? Then, let the kids thank you for me, Uncle."

The cleaner tossed him a flirtatious glance.

Smack, her eyeball fell to the ground.

Liu Zheng picked it up for her and put it back in.

Then he scowled for a while.

Something didn’t seem quite right.

He stretched out a tentacle, dampened it with saliva, and drew two eyebrows for the cleaner.

Yeah, now it looked right.

Liu Zheng nodded in satisfaction.

"You don’t have to give my share to the security guard, I’ll just split half with him."

The cleaner said, bowing her head.

"One thing at a time, do I look like that kind of person? Take it."

He slapped another three hundred yuan on her.

"Thank you. Um, do you need a face?"

The cleaner asked shyly.

"What?"

Liu Zheng’s facial muscles twitched.

I’m trying so hard, and you’re insulting me?

"This is a face I found, it’s a bit damaged, but I washed it clean. If you don’t mind, you can make do with it."

The cleaner took out a paper bag from her utility cart.

It had quite a few gaps, seemingly gnawed by some rodent.

But it was mostly intact.

"No need. My face will grow back soon."

Liu Zheng declined.

Who knows if these faces can be taken off once put on.

Besides, he wasn’t lying, the edges of his face were already growing skin.

"Alright, then take this. I... I’m leaving."

The cleaner handed Liu Zheng a bottle, then hurried into the office building.

Through the glass door, he saw her negotiate with the security guard for a bit, then she entered the stairwell.

Liu Zheng withdrew his gaze and looked at the bottle in his hand.

"Name: Cleaner’s Special Insecticide (Disposable)"

"Type: Miscellaneous"

"Quality: Excellent"

"Effect: Powerful insect-killing"

"Note: Eliminates all harmful insects, invincible."

"Can it be taken out of the instance: No"

This thing would be great for White Feather Chicken.

There must be lots of mosquitoes, mice, and ants in the kitchen.

Liu Zheng pocketed the insecticide and walked into the office building.

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