The world has turned into Hell's Game, why should I stay human?
Chapter 147 Niu Ma: I’m practicing swinging, do you want to lift the anus?

Chapter 147: Chapter 147 Niu Ma: I’m practicing swinging, do you want to lift the anus?

"Damn it, why?"

Liu Zheng grumbled.

Just because he wouldn’t let him go down alone, he felt targeted, right?

"No shit, you’re the one who tore off its balls. It might not be smart, but it’s not brainless."

The Fisherman rolled his eyes on the other end of the phone.

"But the sea girl and the nightingale both helped pull, right?"

He argued, not convinced.

"Now, it only recognizes you as the prime culprit."

"If it’s about recognizing the prime culprit, that would be the nightingale."

Without the Potion from the nightingale, he could never have ripped them off, okay?

"Complaining to me is useless, have the guts to go talk to the sewer yourself."

"Hmph, I can’t be bothered to communicate with that brainless thing."

Liu Zheng said disdainfully.

"You should be content. If it weren’t for me and City Hall soothing things over, the sewer would have come up to find you long ago."

The Fisherman said.

"Holy shit, the sewer can come up?"

He was shocked.

That would turn the entire city upside down.

"Of course not in its entirety, but for you there’s no difference."

"If the sewer is set on killing someone and is in the right, even the Bloody Restaurant won’t be able to stop it."

The Fisherman said.

"Isn’t there anything that can be done?"

Liu Zheng asked unwillingly.

The Red Ghost, the Fisherman, and the Fire Mage were all connected to the sewer; if he couldn’t go down, it would be a huge loss.

"Well, it’s not completely without solution. Since the last time someone, God knows who, blocked its fart, it’s been a bit constipated. If you can help it smooth its bowels, it might forgive you."

The Fisherman said.

"Smooth its bowels..."

He listened, feeling disgusted. So he was expected to go and administer an enema or castor oil, huh?

Even if Liu Zheng were to die, even if he never jumped down a sewer well again, he would not stoop to such a thing.

"That’s right, if you do a decent job, maybe you’ll be able to freely come and go in the sewer in the future."

The Fisherman said.

"Tell me, how’s this ’smoothing’ done?"

Liu Zheng swore, he was only considering it to make up for the harm he’d caused the sewer, not for any so-called passage rights.

"Smoothing the bowels is simple. I can lend you a special fish, you just need to protect it while it swims in the river. When it stops on its own, then you’re done."

The Fisherman said.

"You’re not raising fish in the sewer just for this, are you?"

He said.

"Not all for this, why ask so many questions? Just tell me if you’re doing it or not?"

The Fisherman was impatient.

"I’m in, but wasn’t I blacklisted?"

Liu Zheng asked.

"So, you need to get a few cos suits from your Bloody Restaurant. With those, I’ll give you a bit of a disguise, and then the sewer will pretend not to know."

The Fisherman said.

"Disguise?"

"No kidding, did you really think the sewer is a moron? Even if it were, it’s not completely so."

The Fisherman said.

Liu Zheng felt his words had revealed something.

"How many do I need exactly?"

He asked.

"Three should do."

The Fisherman paused before speaking.

"Three?! You might as well have the sewer take its anger out by tearing off my balls."

Liu Zheng exclaimed.

Cos suits, multifunctional killers including combat, camouflage, and allure—no way they come cheap.

Even one would be hard to get, let alone three, and he didn’t own the Bloody Restaurant.

"I might think of something, but at least two are needed. I can cover the cost, but you have to come to the sewer so I can pay you. Or you could send the sea girl down to get it."

The Fisherman said.

Liu Zheng felt the last suggestion was Fisherman’s real aim.

"I can get the sea girl to pick up the cash, but I reckon money isn’t the issue."

He sighed.

When the sea girl heard her name, she pursed her lips but said nothing.

"Unless you need fish, there’s nothing else I can do for you. How’s the sea girl been these days?"

The Fisherman asked.

"Fine, living the good life with spicy food and bed warmers, just made a small fortune with me."

Even though it was just potatoes, it was still courtesy of the Bloody Restaurant, ensuring they tasted decent.

"How is that Huang Mao still alive?!"

The Fisherman said furiously.

"You didn’t tell me to kill her."

Liu Zheng replied innocently.

"Well, now I’m telling you to kill her!"

The Fisherman immediately said.

"Knock it off, with the state I’m in now, she’s more likely to kill me. By the way, you haven’t explained how the ’smoothing’ is done."

He remembered to ask.

"Let’s talk about that after you get the cos suits.

"Mysterious as ever, bye."

Liu Zheng hung up the phone.

"You could secretly agree with him and then get my siblings to collaborate with you; the success rate is pretty high, you know."

The nightingale, who’d been eavesdropping the whole time, heartily suggested.

"Don’t test me with your tricks. To survive, I, Liu Zheng, can kneel, can lick boots, but I’ll never betray friends."

Liu Zheng said coldly.

"So we’re friends now?"

The nightingale sounded surprised.

"Kind of like ’booze and beans’ friends, I guess."

He said.

They had drunk red wine together, eaten potatoes together.

"That sounds awful."

The nightingale pursed her lips.

Being ’meat and drink buddies’ was bad enough, but ’booze and beans’? It sounded like something out of a low-budget comedy film.

"It’s supposed to, I’m just a delivery guy, I’m not cultured. Alright already, no more dawdling, let’s get going."

He still had to ask about the cos suits.

Based on past experience, even if he could get them, he’d probably have to complete some sort of preliminary task first.

"Then on your way back, get me a plate of mala xiang guo."

Vampire Sister interjected.

"You have blood packs and you don’t drink them; why do you eat the blood in Mao’s Blood-hotpot?"

Liu Zheng said speechlessly.

"The blood packs sold on the market are all low-grade, only the blood in your restaurant’s Mao’s Blood-hotpot can replenish the nutrients I need, otherwise, I’d have to keep up this appearance for at least half a year."

"Then you go help me fetch Vlad III."

Vampire Sister said.

"Why don’t you just order takeaway yourself?"

"No way!"

Vampire Sister let out a sharp scream.

"Last time, the mashed potatoes were a torment. If I order again, I won’t even be able to maintain my human form."

"Then..."

Liu Zheng’s gaze shifted between Sea Girl and Nightingale.

Both averted their eyes in silent agreement.

"Sigh, alright, I’ll think of something."

He sighed.

After all, we were brothers who had shared spoils; how could they be so insincere as sisters?

"Hehe, I knew you’re the best."

Vampire Sister snuggled against Liu Zheng’s hoof.

Unfortunately, she was flat now, Liu Zheng just found her noisy.

After leaving the cemetery, he drove the Ferrari, dropping off the three of them near the "Red Witch" board game store.

The store policy stated that if you take a day off, you have to work the night shift to make up for it.

Even though they had just made some money, it wasn’t enough for them to quit their jobs.

"Red Witch" was a coveted place to work; leaving was easy, but getting back in wasn’t.

After dropping them off, Liu Zheng drove back to the Bloody Restaurant.

As soon as he got out of the car, the driver appeared in the driver’s seat.

His mind wandered, then his expression became strange.

If the driver had actually always been there and just invisible, did that mean he was always driving while seated on the driver’s lap?

"Car service concluded—no scrapes, no damage, no traffic violations. After the discount, the total charge is two thousand."

The driver said.

Sheesh, the money spent on one delivery run is higher than what he made in a month of work.

Luckily, he had money now.

"I just went to the cemetery, was thinking of getting some rotten blood worms, but they were all blown up. However, I’m a bit friendly with the folks in the kitchen, I’ll ask them if they have anything else."

Liu Zheng said while paying.

The less you achieve, the more you have to report.

There’s an old saying: no merit is still better than hard work—it’s this principle.

"You are considerate."

The driver was indeed satisfied.

"The stockpile of Butt Spirit Bullets is about to expire automatically; if you want them, you should act quickly. Who knows when they will be restocked."

As a token of appreciation for Liu Zheng’s attentiveness, he reminded him.

"What’s a Butt Spirit Missile?"

Liu Zheng asked.

"I can’t say too much, I can only tell you it’s a powerful bullet that can automatically change its trajectory to hit the enemy."

The driver said.

"Isn’t that just a missile?"

"It’s completely different from a missile. Its guidance mechanism is absurd and quite interesting. You’ll know when you use it."

The driver said with a subtle expression.

"These bullets aren’t very reliable when used alone, but they are very effective when three or more are used together, and they can ignore many defense measures."

"And the power? Can it guarantee to blow up Niu Ma?"

Liu Zheng asked.

"Why are you always thinking of blowing up your boss? Aren’t you two on good terms?"

The driver asked curiously.

"How do you know that?"

"If your relationship with it wasn’t good, you wouldn’t have the chance to rent a Ferrari."

The driver said.

"That’s true."

He nodded.

Before he grew stronger, Niu Ma could have finished him off without lifting a finger.

"So why do you always use it as a target?"

The driver asked again.

"The secondary reason is that its strength is most appropriate."

Liu Zheng replied.

Nightingale, Sea Girl and the like are too weak, Si Xue, Red Ghost and the like are too strong, and the Novelist, Ottawa and the like are inscrutable.

"And the main reason?"

"The main reason, of course, is because I want to take it down and be the boss myself."

He said, dead seriously.

"Hahaha, you humans are really interesting. Off I go, contact me if you need the car."

The driver started the engine.

"You didn’t tell me whether it can blow up my boss or not?"

"Five Butt Spirit Bullets, guaranteed death."

The driver stepped on the gas, disappearing into thin air.

Guaranteed death with five? Did the stock still have five left?

Liu Zheng scorned the habit of talking in half-statements, then turned and walked into the delivery passage.

"Boss, what are you up to?"

As soon as he entered the lounge, he was startled by Niu Ma, sticking his rear end out, and promptly closed his eyes.

One second later, and he would’ve had to gouge them out and replace them with clean ones.

"Just doing some butt lift exercises; you don’t know about them? They were invented by you humans."

Niu Ma said calmly.

"Isn’t that the butt lift exercise?"

Butt lift exercise involves rhythmically pulling the anus upwards and then relaxing. Pull and relax, that’s the butt lift exercise.

You can do it while standing, sitting, or walking. Doing it about 50 times per session, and continuing for 5–10 minutes is sufficient.

Butt lift exercises can promote local blood circulation and prevent diseases such as hemorrhoids and other anorectal conditions.

Liu had practiced it in the real world before, but sadly he hadn’t kept it up.

"I don’t have hemorrhoids; I’m just practicing hanging. Why, do you have them?"

Niu Ma asked with an ill intention.

"No."

Liu Zheng replied decisively.

Having reconstructed his body so many times, not to mention hemorrhoids, he didn’t even have acne.

"Pfft, you humans are just hypocrites."

Niu Ma sneered.

"Do you want the hypocritical human money or not?"

He elongated his voice.

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