The Werewolf's Vampire Mate -
Chapter 238: Dreaming about you
Chapter 238: Dreaming about you
Gyles.
It feels like I am dying.
I know my statement seems a little farfetched. I mean, why would I die? He has been gone for just a week. It shouldn’t mean that much but here I am with this ache in my chest and the uncertainty of not knowing what to do about it.
Rex has been a big help but it feels like Blue is the only one that can fill the void. It is like having a puzzle and being unable to complete it because of a missing piece. Right now, Blue is that missing piece. Rex has been going to school a lot, so I rarely see him and I have been calling Blue, he hasn’t even answered once and I know that he is with his phone because he talks to Rex all the time. He said he rejected me, but I don’t want to think about that because I want to be optimistic and believe that he will find it in his heart to forgive me.
I have done a lot shitty things and I have been so selfish but I want to make things right. Alanis said some things to me that have resonated deep inside me. I might think that I am a bad person but I still have a chance to change that and I want to change it so bad. I want Blue and Rex to see me in a different light. Right now, they see me as the villain. I manipulated Blue and ruined our chances.
I walk into the library. Okay, maybe not a library but the place in the community that has a lot of books about our kind. Alanis showed me this place the next day. We sort of started this weird friendship after that night and he has reduced the loneliness I feel but nothing can make it better as long as Blue is not here.
I know he is punishing me for the way I have acted and I don’t blame him but he must feel the same way that I do. There is no way he is not as miserable as I am.
I switch on the light and walk over to one of the shelves. All the books in here are dusty and it looks like no one has even been here in months. The shelves are labelled but I don’t even have a clue on what I am looking for. I just want to make things right. Find a solution to the problems I caused. Blue left without saying anything to me but he explained everything to Rex. He didn’t feel the need to say goodbye to me because of the problems I caused. He is still upset with me—he hates me and I want to make things right.
The book that catches my attention is titled The Origin.
I mean, if I find out how we came about maybe I can find out how mating happens and all the problems that could arise from it. I skim through the pages. Everything I see just tells me how we came about. The curse. I read the book for about an hour until slowly I drift off and fall asleep.
I open my eyes and I am in a room that is unrecognizable to me. There is someone on the bed, sleeping soundly. Slowly, I tiptoe over to the bed because my heart is calling out to the person. I remember falling asleep in the library. I didn’t know I was that tired. The whole thing with Blue is exhausting me. I cant barely sleep at night because I can’t stop thinking about him and in the day time, missing him makes me tired. I don’t know what to do. I just want to see him, kiss him, and beg him to forgive me.
I want us all to be together and happy.
I reach for the person on the bed. This is a dream, so whatever I do will only be in my head. I pull the covers off his head and he jumps up immediately. It feels so real and the moment I see his face and his wide eyes. There is relief inside me.
"What the fuck are you doing here?’’ he shouts to me.
I have been thinking of him so much that now I am dreaming about him. It is completely normal to have dreams.
I should just go along with it.
"I missed you,’’ I try to reach out to him but he pushes off me immediately "I thought I made myself clear. I don’t want to see you.’’ he glares at me angrily.
Even in my dreams, he is upset with me. Can’t I get the version of him that still loves me? It is totally unfair.
"Can I just hold you, it has been so hard for me?’’ I try to make him see that I am suffering. I know I deserve this but I just want a little bit from him. He can continue hating me after but I need him right now.
I reach for him again and this time he doesn’t push me away. Slowly, my arms wrap around his waist and his scent travels through my nostrils. My whole body responds to him, as he completely takes over the beating of my heart. I didn’t realize it. How much loving him would feel.
I love him.
I have loved him and I didn’t even know. I took him for granted and now he is all I need to make my heart complete. It seems stupid to think that Rex is not enough. I have wished he was enough, tried to make him enough, but he wasn’t and now I know that. I am going to make things right.
"You know this is not a dream.’’ He breathes out.
I pull away from him slightly, my eyes now on him. There is a smile on his face. The kind that makes my heart race. How did I ignore all the signs before? Why did I need to?
"I have had a dream about you before and Rex. Don’t worry, it’s a dream,’’ I assure him.
He laughs loudly. The sound travels to the dark room "Yeah it might seem like a dream but it isn’t. You are actually here, or should I say, your wolf brought you here.’’
I furrow my brows "What do you mean?’’
The last time you had a dream about me, I called you out. That is the reason why it felt so real—because it was real.’’
I don’t know if I believe him right now but I have come to know that anything is possible. So this could be real and if it is real, I need to ask him for forgiveness. I need him to know that things will be different. I will make things right between us.
"You left without saying goodbye,’’ I cry because it hurts so badly.
He smiles, I mean here I am pouring my eyes out to him and he is smiling "You don’t care about me, Gyles. I can’t do whatever this is anymore.’’
This is what he has been saying. He has given up on me. I don’t want him to do that. I need him so much right now. "Things will be different. I promise I will learn to stop hurting the people I care about.’’
He scoffs "You don’t have that in you. It’s not that easy to change."
He doesn’t believe in me. I believe that I can do this. I can love him the way he deserves—love them the way they deserve.
"Please Blue,’’ I beg.
He looks away from me, he doesn’t believe me.
I can’t convince him in this dream. I have to do things in real life. I have to make sure I prove to them that I am sincere.
I need to prove it to myself.
"Why should I trust you, I don’t know if I can anymore,’’ he bickers and I know that I deserve this. I have been terrible to them--to them and now is the time to make things right. The time to do right by the two of them.
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