The Three Who Chose Me
Chapter 35: The Weight of Wanting

Chapter 35: The Weight of Wanting

Josie

The first thing I did when I got home was shower.

It wasn’t just about getting the grime off. It was about scrubbing away the touch of Alpha Ian, the scent of his pack, the suffocating dirt and trauma clinging to every inch of me like a second skin. I stood under the water until my legs trembled from exhaustion, until my fingers were shriveled and numb. Even then, it didn’t feel like enough.

The steam fogged up the mirror, but I didn’t look into it.

I couldn’t.

What was I even expecting to see? The same girl who had been taken days ago? Or someone... broken?

I dried off slowly, fingers aching as I tugged the towel around me, then slipped into a soft robe someone had left folded neatly on the bed. The fabric was gentle against my raw skin, and I was grateful for its warmth. Someone had also brought me food—plain rice, warm broth, a small plate of fruit—but I could barely taste any of it as I forced each bite down. It felt like chewing cardboard.

I ate like I was going through the motions, not really present in my body. Like my limbs moved out of habit, not because I wanted to move. Everything inside me was still frayed. My stomach churned with hunger and nausea at the same time.

I should’ve stayed in bed.

My entire body was screaming for sleep, for stillness, but I couldn’t rest. Something inside me buzzed—an itch I couldn’t scratch. I needed to see them. I needed to know where they were—my mates.

Thorne.

Varen.

Kiel.

Were they okay? Did they think I was weak? Were they angry at me for getting caught? Were they... ashamed of me?

The thoughts gnawed at my already fragile mind.

I slipped my feet into a pair of slippers, my toes still sore from the cold stone floors of Alpha Ian’s hellish pack house. The hallway outside my room was dim and quiet, but every corner of the corridor felt too sharp, too clean. Too unfamiliar.

I didn’t even have a destination in mind.

Only a pull in my chest.

I ended up outside Thorne’s door.

I hesitated. Maybe I should knock. Maybe I should turn back. Maybe I should just get back into bed like a normal person recovering from a near-death experience.

But I wasn’t normal, was I?

I wasn’t just anyone.

I was theirs.

I pushed the door open slowly.

And froze.

Thorne was inside—shirtless, with water still dripping from his body like beads of silver. His hair was damp, slicked back away from his face, and tiny rivulets of water clung to the hard lines of his chest, trailing down the ridges of his abs and disappearing beneath the waistband of his low-hanging sweatpants. His muscles moved with every breath—strong, sculpted, commanding.

I blinked. My heart lurched against my ribs.

He looked like a storm given form.

"I—why the hell aren’t you wearing a shirt?" I blurted before I could stop myself.

His head turned sharply, eyes narrowing on me. That familiar storm flared in his gaze—raw, unforgiving. "What are you doing in my room, Josie?"

The heat from my earlier embarrassment turned to ice. I straightened up.

"I—" My voice caught. I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I wanted to see you. I needed to know you were okay."

"You should be in bed," he snapped. "Resting."

His words cut like glass.

I took a small, hesitant step closer. "What I need right now is a hug from my mate."

His jaw tensed.

"I’m not giving you that."

The rejection hit like a punch to the chest.

I sucked in a breath, but it didn’t feel like enough. My throat burned. "I get it," I whispered, my voice fraying around the edges. "You don’t want to look at me."

I couldn’t hold back the tremble in my lips, so I turned quickly and fled the room before I crumbled in front of him. My bare feet slapped softly against the floor as I moved, vision blurring.

I didn’t know where I was going—only that I had to move.

I didn’t get far.

Two solid bodies stopped me.

"Josie?" Varen’s voice was rough and gentle at once. Like a breeze laced with gravel.

"What’s wrong?" Kiel’s voice was tighter, clipped.

"Nothing. I’m fine," I lied, forcing a hollow smile.

They didn’t believe me. Varen’s hand pressed lightly to the small of my back. "Come with us."

I should’ve said no. I should’ve walked away. But I didn’t want to be alone. I let them guide me into the game room, where the lighting was softer and the air warmer. It didn’t erase the ache, but it dulled the sharpest edges.

Kiel stayed back, lingering against the pool table, his eyes unreadable.

Varen sat me down gently on a plush cushioned bench. I didn’t protest.

We were all quiet.

The silence stretched.

Then I broke it.

"I’m sorry."

Varen turned his head toward me. "For what?"

"For causing all this stress. For... being weak."

"You’re not weak, Josie," he said, voice firm and grounding. "You’re the strongest person I know. You survived something most people couldn’t. And that bastard’s pack? They’ll serve as a warning now. No one touches our mate again."

A shiver ran through me—not from fear, but from the weight behind his words. From the certainty.

But Kiel still hadn’t moved closer.

That’s when it hit me.

Things had been bad between us before I was taken. I never took the time to acknowledge him, to thank him. I’d pushed him aside when he was the one constantly stepping up to protect me.

The shame was suffocating.

I pushed myself to my feet slowly, legs wobbling under my weight.

"Josie," Varen said, voice low. "Take it easy."

But I needed to do this.

My legs buckled slightly as I walked, but hands caught me before I could fall. Varen’s hand slipped around my waist, grounding me from behind. Kiel’s hand caught my shoulder, steadying me.

And for one still, breathless moment, I was caught between them.

Kiel leaned over me, his breath brushing my forehead.

Varen’s body pressed lightly into my back, his hand warm against my skin.

The contact sent heat spiraling through me.

Arousal.

Need.

Awareness.

When they stepped back, I almost whimpered from the loss.

I looked up at Kiel, swallowing hard. "I’m sorry."

He frowned. "What for?"

"For everything. For pushing you away. For not thanking you when I should’ve. For not seeing you."

He stared at me, his jaw tense, but his eyes softened. "I was cold to you."

"I deserved it."

"No," he said quietly. "You didn’t."

A beat passed.

"I didn’t know how to be your mate," he added. "I thought I was protecting you by staying away. But I was wrong."

"I think we both were," I said softly.

Varen huffed and stood. "Alright, enough of this brooding. Hug it out already."

We chuckled—a soft sound, but real.

I reached toward Kiel slowly, unsure.

He didn’t wait.

He stepped forward and folded me into his arms.

His embrace was strong. Steady. Warm.

I melted into him.

Then Varen joined, his arms wrapping around both of us in a cocoon of safety. For a moment, I could breathe again.

When we finally pulled apart, Kiel rubbed the back of his neck and mumbled, "I’m tired. I think I’ll head to bed."

I nodded. "Okay."

As he walked out, I looked up at Varen.

"I want you to stay in my room tonight."