The Royal Military Academy's Impostor Owns a Dungeon [BL]
Chapter 436: Pardon Me?!

Chapter 436: Pardon Me?!

Kyle was dumbfounded.

Absolutely floored.

He stared at his screen for a long, long second, wondering if the stress had finally gotten to him, that he was starting to hear things.

Maybe he’s missed out on rest, which has resulted in hallucinations and hearing problems.

But the person on the other end of the call looked absolutely serious. He was slightly hunched over with wide eyes as he gripped the edge of the bed like a scandalized maiden from those ancient dramas.

Kyle blinked and waited before saying, "Come again?"

Ollie took a deep breath and repeated it again:

"I think someone’s trying to pursue me!"

No shit.

Kyle wasn’t hallucinating.

It took one very awkward beat—complete with virtual buffering silence—before the ever-composed adjutant finally exhaled and said:

"...Stay where you are," he said firmly. "And wait for me. I’m coming over."

He would have to go there himself because he needed to see him with his own two eyes for this conversation.

When Kyle finally reached the dormitory and knocked, the door slammed open with the speed of divine judgment.

He didn’t even have time to react.

Ollie practically launched himself forward.

The adjutant only barely kept his footing because he’d been accustomed to this by now. Bracing for contact as soon as he was close enough.

Still, even he staggered a bit when Ollie wrapped around him like a clingy octopus in crisis.

"Whoa—easy," Kyle grunted, patting his back reassuringly. "Ollie?"

The shorter man didn’t budge.

His arms stayed locked around Kyle, his grip tight, his face serious enough to get the giant worried enough to visually inspect him.

"What kind of pursuit are we talking about?" he asked, scanning him from head to toe. "Are you hurt anywhere?"

"No, but I might be soon!" Ollie wailed.

"What? Why?!"

"I don’t know, Kyle! That’s the problem, I never really accounted for this!"

Kyle carried him over to sit on the bed so he could listen to just what the hell was happening.

"Okay. Tell me what’s wrong. Start from the beginning. Please. Use your words this time."

Ollie took a deep breath, then another one, deeper and shakier, like he was about to confess another one of his crimes.

Then he began...a dramatic reenactment.

"So, I was sitting. You know. Peacefully. Minding my own business. Eating dried fruit. The extra one you gave me."

Kyle nodded slowly.

"Right. And then—BAM! A knock on the door!"

Ollie flailed his arms. "I open it only to be greeted by a student carrying A BIG box! And he says it’s for me!"

Kyle blinked. "You did check it first, right?"

There was an eager nod, and Ollie raised his detector to show he had covered the necessary bases.

"Then what’s got you so spooked. Was something wrong with the package?"

"No, Kyle. No!" Ollie shook him lightly. "This box had materials! Good ones! Expensive ones! Shiny bolts! And most of all, explosive casings!"

"And a card!" The mop shrieked. "With the words, ’You deserve it.’ I! Deserve! It!"

He pointed dramatically at his own chest like he was accusing himself of something.

Kyle’s mouth parted slightly. "Okay...And what made you think this was someone trying to pursue you?"

"Because of the signs, of course!"

Ollie looked at Kyle as if he were asking something that should’ve been common sense.

While the adjutant returned it with a curious look because, for this guy, common sense wasn’t exactly always common.

Just like whatever he was planning on saying.

"Okay then," Kyle sighed, "Tell me about these signs."

"First—" Ollie raised a finger, "It was sent anonymously!"

Kyle nodded slowly.

"Second—it’s all my favorite things! And just as I was opening the box, I got Starcoins! Ten Million in free money!"

"?"

"Third!" Ollie pressed on. "Smell that card! That would be a very expensive scent for assassination! Who would leave perfume if they’re planning to kill you?! That’s leaving evidence! It’s too obvious!"

Kyle squinted. "...So you’re saying it’s not an assassination?"

"Exactly! That’s why it must be pursuit!" Ollie nodded furiously. "And fourth! My mom once told me that cute girls would sometimes do this kind of thing! So we must always be wary!"

Kyle gave him a long, hard look.

"Wary?"

"Wary."

"Of cute girls."

"Exactly!" Ollie said it as if it were a sacred law. Though he also remembered that at one point, his mother had said that maybe it was the cute girls who should be wary of them. But that was just semantics. In short, they just had to be cautious!

Kyle’s face twitched.

He was calm. Externally. But inside, questions were multiplying like rabbits in spring.

So he carefully asked, "Wary...why? Of all emotions?"

"Because they’re dangerous, Kyle!"

The confused adjutant exhaled. "Okay. And—just for clarification—why do you automatically assume this was from a cute girl? Why couldn’t it be from a cute guy, or just any guy?"

Ollie furrowed his brows.

For one terrifying second, Kyle thought his heart would drop out of his body.

But then—

"Of course not!" Ollie huffed. "It obviously can’t be from a cute boy because a cute boy wouldn’t ask someone else to deliver it!"

Kyle blinked. "...Huh???"

"Are you perhaps sick today?" Ollie asked, squinting like he was the one concerned now. "Obviously, they’d already be in the same dorm! And cute boys are so domineering!"

He didn’t even give Kyle time to respond.

"Have you seen my good brother?" he continued, eyes wide. "If a cute boy wanted to send me a gift, he wouldn’t ask another boy to deliver it! What if there’s a misunderstanding?! What if I mistake the delivery guy as the sender?!"

Kyle opened his mouth.

Ollie wasn’t done.

"I read a book like that once. The main character almost fell for the wrong guy. It was chaos. Clearly, that’s a possibility!" he said, eyes narrowing like he’d uncovered a conspiracy.

Kyle just...stared.

He’d always been curious, and this question had probably been long overdue.

Because he’d always mentioned these cute girls like they’re all he could see.

And now seemed like a good time to ask the question that had been quietly poking at the back of his mind for a while now.

So he asked seriously, "Then would it matter if it were a girl or a boy?"

"Hmmm."

Ollie thought about it, and Kyle felt like the clock was ticking too slowly as the blonde thought of his answer.

"Well, I haven’t thought about it. But if I haven’t thought about it, then it mustn’t be too bad, because cute guys would still be cute."

"So I don’t think it would matter!" Ollie added immediately, puffing his chest a little after he’d come up with an answer that he felt was acceptable. "What matters is the size!"

Kyle choked. "...The what?!"

"The size, Kyle!" Ollie said proudly.

The flustered giant blinked again. "You mean—?"

"Of course! I’m a man too," Ollie said, thumping his own chest. "How would I carry my partner if they’re much bigger than me?! That’s just basic science!"

Kyle opened his mouth. Then closed it. Then gave up and buried his face in one hand.

This entire conversation felt like a ride on a rollercoaster he didn’t know he’d boarded.

His heart kept lurching with each twist in Ollie’s logic, each strange yet weirdly sincere answer that made him want to laugh, cry, and take notes all at the same time.

"So," Kyle said slowly, breath shallow, "Anyone that gives you gifts like this... would be courting you?"

Ollie nodded solemnly. "That or they plan to kill me."

"...Even if they don’t say so directly?"

"Especially if they don’t say so directly! That’s what makes it scarier!"

Kyle stared at him like he’d been handed the secret manual to Ollie’s brain.

Which, as it turned out, was way more complicated than any classified document he’d ever read.