The Prime Minister's Darling
Chapter 952 - 952 436 Confession (fourth update)

Chapter 952: 436 Confession (fourth update) Chapter 952: 436 Confession (fourth update) When Princess Xinyang decided to raise him, he was still just an infant in swaddling clothes, and naturally, he couldn’t have heard those words from her directly. It was Princess Xinyang who later told him herself.

“I see,” Gu Jiao said, “Then, does Marquis Xuanping know about this?”

Xiao Liulang lowered his eyes, “He knows. It was after he remedied the situation that Princess Xinyang mistakenly thought her son and the female servant had been taken and hurt by assassins. It was not until four years ago that, by a twist of fate, she learned the truth—that she had been raising the son of her child’s murderer for fourteen years.”

After that, Princess Xinyang collapsed.

She had never forgotten that son, nor did she ever treat Xiao Liulang as a substitute for anyone. She genuinely raised Xiao Liulang as if he were another son of her own.

She taught him with all her might, pouring her entire heart and soul into him, shaping him into the outstanding young Marquis unrivaled in Zhaodu.

It was precisely because of this that she couldn’t bear the blow of the truth.

The female servant is dead, so I can only kill your son!

That was her inner demon and her entire malignity.

“I was the last to know,” Xiao Liulang said calmly.

While his face was composed, whether his heart was equally tranquil was unknown.

Gu Jiao paused “So the fire four years ago…”

Xiao Liulang nodded, “She wanted to kill me, to die together with me. Unfortunately, there was a mishap, and the person who burned to death wasn’t me. Later, Long Yi came, and he rescued her.”

He didn’t specify the mishap, but Gu Jiao thought it must be related to the real Xiao Liulang.

He once said to her, if I am not the person you think I am, she thought he meant Xiao Liulang, but in fact, he referred to Xiao Hen.

Suppressing the great pain in his heart, he said, “Sometimes I wonder why it wasn’t me who died back then? Why was it me who lived? How many lives must be carried on my body… What kind of person am I… I am such a filthy person!”

Gu Jiao gently took his hand.

“My Lord, you’re not dirty.”

“Also, it’s not your fault.”

The night was cool as water.

The courtyard in Vermilion Bird Avenue was tranquil.

Princess Xinyang woke up, and Yujin brought in a basin of hot water and asked her, “How are you feeling, Princess?”

Princess Xinyang sat up in bed and asked lightly, “Did I faint again just now?”

Yujin said fearfully, “Yes, fortunately, you fainted on the bed. Otherwise, it would have been terrible if you had bumped into something.”

There was once when Princess Xinyang fainted by the lakeside, and Long Yi happened to be out on business. Yujin couldn’t hold onto her, and they both fell into the lake.

Seeing the new needle marks in the crook of her arm, Princess Xinyang roughly guessed that Gu Jiao had been there: “Did that girl come up with some strange thing again?”

Yujin smiled, “We really owe a debt of gratitude to Doctor Gu.”

Princess Xinyang muttered, “Who knows where she learned such peculiar skills?”

Yujin helped Princess Xinyang wash her face and then brought over the medicine tablets Gu Jiao left behind, pouring a cup of warm water for her, “Doctor Gu said that starting from today, you need to take an extra type of medicine.”

“Mm,” Princess Xinyang did not object. Since it wasn’t bitter, she’d take it.

After taking the medicine, Princess Xinyang felt somewhat hungry.

Yujin brought over a bowl of millet porridge and moved a little tea table to the bed, “Doctor Gu instructed the kitchen to cook millet porridge before leaving, saying that you should eat a little when you wake up, and your diet should be light these days.”

Princess Xinyang scooped a spoonful of millet porridge, “You keep mentioning Doctor Gu; have you fallen for her magic or her charm?”

Yujin smiled and sat down by the bed.

After eating a few spoonfuls of porridge, Princess Xinyang didn’t want to eat anymore; she still lacked appetite.

Yujin urged, “Eat a little more.”

Princess Xinyang turned her face away. “I’m done.”

Yujin pushed the bowl closer to her. “Five more spoonfuls.”

“…Ah, you.”

Princess Xinyang resignedly forced herself to eat some more.

After finishing, noticing that Yujin hadn’t left, she asked, “What is it? Is there something else?”

Yujin hesitated for a moment before finally gathering the courage to speak, “Princess, do you truly… despise the young Marquis that much?”

Princess Xinyang’s expression faded, “Why bring him up?”

Yujin said, “Ever since the Medical Hall, your mood has been off. He lives in such disgrace now, a state worse than death. If you truly hated him, seeing his current plight should have brought you great satisfaction. Yet, you fainted from distress, Princess… in your heart, you feel pain for the young Marquis, don’t you?”

“You’re talking nonsense again,” Princess Xinyang said, and scooped another spoonful of millet porridge into her mouth haphazardly.

Having served her for many years, Yujin knew Princess Xinyang’s nature all too well; eating when she had no appetite meant her heart had been touched.

Yujin spoke with a heavy heart, “I’m not talking nonsense, the great fire that year was not started by the Princess. At the crucial moment, the Princess’s heart softened. She has never truly been able to let go of the mother-son bond with the young Marquis. If that is the case, why doesn’t she acknowledge the young Marquis as her own? The incident back then wasn’t his fault, he was just an innocent child. It wasn’t the Princess’s negligence either. You shouldn’t keep torturing the young Marquis, nor yourself.”

Princess Xinyang’s expression was complex.

She opened her mouth, as if to say something, then stopped. Afterward, she gently put down the spoon in her hand and mused, “The real arsonist from back then was someone else, but I have never been able to find out who it was. And there’s more…”

“What else?” Yujin looked at Princess Xinyang.

Princess Xinyang sighed softly and spoke in a low voice, “Nevermind, it’s nothing.”

The group returned to Bishui Alley, and Xiaoshun drove the carriage back to the Medical Hall.

Gu Jiao picked up the sleeping Xiaojingkong, not giving Xiao Liulang a chance to refuse. Xiao Liulang looked at his hand wrapped in gauze, then at his powerless right leg, a flash of loathing crossing his brow.

Loathing for himself.

Xiaojingkong was covered in mud from playing, so Gu Jiao placed a cushion on the bed, set him down, and went to fetch hot water from the stove house.

“I’ll do it,” Xiao Liulang said.

Ever since the little fellow came down from the mountain, Gu Jiao had never bathed him. It was either Xiao Liulang, Gu Xiaoshun, or Gu Yan who did it.

“All right.” Gu Jiao used her foot to hook a stool closer and arranged the washbasin and towel.

Xiao Liulang turned Xiaojingkong over and over, wiping his body and changing his clothes while Xiaojingkong didn’t even stir.

Gu Jiao, with her arms crossed and leaning against the wardrobe, lazily raised an eyebrow, “What did he play with today? He’s so tired.”

— He went to wreak havoc on Princess Xinyang’s garden with Long Yi.

That was what Xiao Liulang didn’t say.

After washing Xiaojingkong, Xiao Liulang went to dispose of the water, but Gu Jiao took the washbasin from him.

These were trivial matters in life, but when they accumulated, they became significant. He had gone from initial indifference to gradually being unable to ignore them.

He once didn’t care about his own life, nor his disability, because he thought that he, burdened with such sins, should live in purgatory.

But what did she do wrong to end up with someone as wretched as himself?

He had once deceivingly thought that, as long as he worked hard enough, perhaps they could truly live a peaceful life together.

But when the truth was finally revealed and all his secrets were exposed, as if tearing all the paper windows at once, he realized how fragile all his efforts were.

He was the son of the lowest female slave, carrying within him lowly and filthy blood. His birth was a sin, and his mere survival was a sin. Underneath his feet lay the bones of his own kin. He was undeserving to touch anything beautiful.

Lord Gu was right; he wasn’t worthy of her. A person like him should stay far away from her.

Xiao Liulang sat in the room for a while, not hearing her move to the eastern chamber to rest but instead hearing intermittent noises coming from the courtyard.

It was so late, everyone was asleep, what was she doing in the courtyard instead of sleeping?

Xiao Liulang wanted to check, but he felt he shouldn’t.

If he had decided to let go, then whatever she did should have nothing to do with him, right?

She was still young, and someday she would understand that there were many good men in the world, and he was just the one she should never have met.

He closed his eyes, trying to harden his heart, but he couldn’t ignore the noise from the courtyard.

Well then.

Farewells would come sooner or later, and there is no better day than today.

“Wah—” Xiaojingkong murmured in his sleep on the bed, kicking off the quilt.

Xiao Liulang got up, pulled the quilt back over him, and tucked in the corners.

Afterward, he left the room and followed the sound to the backyard.

What he saw next made him freeze completely.

Under the thin moonlight and in the cold courtyard, she was alone, bending over and stepping on a stool to cut wood.

She had grown taller than two years ago, but as a woman, she still appeared slim and frail.

It seemed she did not want to wake the household, so her actions were gentle yet forceful, which made the task more difficult than just cutting wood openly.

In just a short time, her forehead was already beaded with fine sweat.

Xiao Liulang approached and asked in puzzlement, “What are you doing?”

“Did I disturb you?” Gu Jiao asked him.

Xiao Liulang shook his head, “No, I haven’t slept yet.”

Finished speaking, his gaze fell on her saw and the wood.

Gu Jiao bent her lips into a slight smile and said, “You lost your walking stick; I’m making you a new one.”