The Obsessive Male Lead Is Actually Scary -
Chapter 36: The Way Feelings Bloom
Chapter 36: The Way Feelings Bloom
"So... you’re the good guy, right?"
"Hey, Alessio. Don’t die, okay?"
"Fine. I’ll go along with it."
"Well, people change."
"Do you ever regret helping me?"
"Maybe not. But I’m not going to stand by and let people get trampled either."
Sonia’s voice lingered in his thoughts, slicing through the flood of old memories. Every memory of her pulled at something deep inside him, something he’d never let himself admit before.
He didn’t know exactly when it had started.
When his feelings for her had shifted into something he couldn’t name. Something unfamiliar and uninvited that made his heart twist in ways no blade ever had.
He hadn’t seen his parents often, but even in those rare moments, he had noticed it. The love between them. The warmth. The closeness. The way his father’s gaze softened when he looked at her.
As a child, he had admired it. Even dreamed, once, that he might find that kind of love someday too.
But when his mother died, the world changed.
From that moment on, all he ever wanted was the truth. Revenge. Justice. He locked everything else away deep inside: the smiles, the warmth, the softness. He told himself there was no room for love or happiness so long as his duty was unfinished and the truth still lay hidden.
That was when the mask began to form.
Cold. Distant. Perfectly measured, never too warm, never too open. He didn’t let anyone close, not even those who meant well. He couldn’t afford to.
He had a goal. A duty. And he didn’t have time for dreams.
But then... she came.
Sonia.
He didn’t notice it at first.
She was just there, with the same face and voice, but little more than background noise in his life. The woman he thought he knew had never meant much. But something shifted.
One day she changed, almost as if she were possessed. Her eyes grew sharper. Her spirit burned louder. Her presence became impossible to ignore. And somehow, without warning, something slipped into his heart.
"Sonia..."
The name escaped his lips. His face flushed, and his ears burned red.
"Haha, no way! We’re not married."
Alessio blinked, snapping back to the present as the sound of her voice echoed again in his mind. His brows furrowed.
’Why would she say it like that... like it’s completely impossible? Like there’s no way that could ever happen between us?’
He ran a hand through his hair, his steps slow as he walked toward the bed. Once there, he flopped down onto the mattress and threw one arm across his eyes, exhaling slowly through parted lips.
"When did it even start?"
Before, he had no clue. He had never experienced anything like this. Not once had he felt this kind of nervous, helpless... fluttering mess in his chest.
He’d thought himself immune to this kind of emotion.
But lately, the pieces had started falling into place.
Why he felt annoyed when Khan got too close to her. Why his temper snapped faster around her. Why he found himself watching her when she wasn’t looking. Why her safety felt like his highest priority.
It was always her.
And now, thanks to one curious little boy and his innocent misunderstanding, he’d been thrown completely off balance. Again.
’Married couple, huh...’
It made him flustered in a way he didn’t even know was possible. He lost all composure and stumbled through his words like some idiot, even though he could keep his cool in the face of danger.
Even Grandmama’s teasing never made him this much of a wreck.
He groaned softly, dragging his hand down from his face and letting it fall beside him.
What was happening to him?
No... he already knew the answer.
He just didn’t want to say it aloud yet.
Not when he was still unsure what to do with it.
"Hah, guess I should get some fresh air."
He pushed himself up, slowly rising from the bed. His face was still flushed, but at least the air might help clear his head.
* * *
"Wow, this place’s actually kinda beautiful at night."
The stars scattered across the sky like spilled silver dust, and the full moon cast a gentle glow over the quiet courtyard. A cool breeze drifted through, rustling the leaves and brushing against my robe as I sat on the wooden bench, taking in the view.
It was peaceful. The kind of peace that didn’t feel fragile or forced, but real. Weightless. Like the world had finally taken a breath and, for once, decided to just stay quiet.
"Huu.."
I’d spent the afternoon holed up in my room, scribbling in my journal, lazing across the bed like a sloth, saving up what little energy I had before tomorrow’s so-called "real training." Whatever that was supposed to be. I was half-convinced Alessio had made it sound more dramatic than it was just to scare me.
I had thought about visiting his room, but he was probably still holed up with Caleb and Mateo, knee-deep in whatever military-spy-conspiracy-political discussion they were brooding over after everything we’d uncovered. I didn’t want to barge in and be a nuisance.
Besides, thanks to that, I actually got a proper rest.
’Ahhh, this is the life. No alarms, no headaches, no worrying about being chased by Marius out here. Just me, the stars, the moon, and my gloriously unproductive evening.’
For a fleeting second, I wondered how many more nights like this I’d get.
Once we returned to the empire, this kind of peace would probably be a distant memory. Life would go back to being rushed, full of tension and decisions and danger. So for now, I decided to soak it in.
I leaned back slightly, letting my head tip up toward the sky. Somewhere far off, a nightbird called out, its sound drifting lazily over the courtyard walls.
Step.
A faint shuffle of footsteps broke the silence.
"Sonia?"
A voice called from the side.
I turned my head and blinked. "Huh? Alessio? What brings you out here?"
"I could ask you the same," he replied, tilting his head a little with that calm, unreadable look.
"Nothing much. Just wanted to get some fresh air... relax a bit." I stretched my arms lazily. "I’ve got a bad feeling about tomorrow’s real training you mentioned this morning."
I made a face like a doomed prisoner on her last free night.
Alessio chuckled. "Pfft. You want me to go easy on you, is that it?"
The teasing lilt in his voice made me puff out my cheeks. But then I caught the way his gaze lingered on me, so much softer, so much warmer than he had ever looked at me before.
My heart did a small, annoying skip.
Ahem.
"May I sit with you?" he asked.
"Uh? Sure. Go ahead."
He settled beside me, and for a moment, we sat there in silence.
The breeze picked up again, gently lifting the ends of his soft, pale gold hair. I stole a glance at him. His ears... were kind of red.
’Is he cold?’ I wondered.
But just as I was about to ask, he spoke.
"You see..."
I turned slightly. "Hm?"
"...Do you... still have feelings for him?"
I blinked. "Huh?"
Our eyes met. He looked away instantly, his face still half-turned and his ears clearly redder than before.
"That guy... do you still have any lingering feelings for him?"
"...Who? Marius?"
He gave a small nod.
"WHAT THE HELL?! WHY WOULD I?!"
The words practically exploded out of me as I shot up from my seat.
Alessio flinched instinctively and turned back to me, startled by the sudden shouting.
And then...
A small smile formed on his lips. Not the usual smirk or smug grin. This one was gentler. Sincere. Like something quietly happy inside him had just settled.
"I see."
Huh?
’What the hell was that?!’
I sat back down, flustered and awkward, my face now very much on fire.
My heart thudded inside my chest like it was playing the drums at a festival.
’That smile... That face... That’s cheating!’
And yet, I couldn’t look away.
"Is there something you want to tell me?"
"Huh?"
"You keep staring at my face."
His ears were turning red again—noticeably red. It stood out under the soft glow of the moonlight, even more than before.
"Oh no, I was just wondering how someone could be this handsome."
He turned to face me, and this time, his whole face flushed deep red. His ears, his cheeks... everything was glowing like he’d just stepped out of a furnace.
I blinked hard, snapping myself back to reality.
"Ah, I mean..."
My words tangled in my mouth. I could feel the heat climbing up my own face now. My palms suddenly felt clammy, and I had the sudden urge to bury myself in the nearest bush.
’I can’t believe I said that out loud! What is wrong with me?!’
I let out a small, mental groan, sinking into myself.
’Why is he being so awkward tonight? It’s throwing me off. Ugh, stop being so weird, heart. Cut it out already!’
Alessio swallowed, hard. His throat moved slightly, and there was a quiet moment between us, filled only with the sound of the breeze brushing past.
Then, almost like something inside him had clicked—
He reached out and took my hand.
His grip was warm, a little shaky, but firm. His eyes locked onto mine, intense and unreadable, like he was trying to say something but couldn’t quite find the words yet.
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