THE Knight's Hidden Princess
Chapter 169: Sort It Out

Chapter 169: Sort It Out

REAGAN POV

3 weeks later!

The windows slammed against each other as the breeze howled outside. Snow fell in thick waves blanketing the whole world in a heavy silence that contradicted the nature of the storm. The fire in the fireplace struggled to stay lit but was failing against the cold air which seeped through the windows. The fire burned faintly, still trying to alive just like I was while the storm continued to rage on turning the sky grey as though it mourned my Dahlia.

I sat down on her bed wrapped in the duvet she used to cover herself on evenings when it got cold. There was still her scent on it and I held on to it tightly, it became my life support as I held onto it as if it would help to bring back the love of my life who was taken away from me so wrongly.

But I knew, she was gone!

Day after day I sat down in the bedroom, not leaving and not caring about the outside world. Staying inside my bedroom at the main house was just difficult for me. There was no privacy, everyone came in to offer their condolences, telling me how it only gets better with time, trying to get me to leave the house and see my son who was the first heir to house Hawthorne, like I could care about that!

It was just all too much for me, so I left and sought sanctuary in the one place that her memory still remains. It was easier to just sit inside this room and envelope myself in her scent than go outside to sit around people who would counsel me on my grief like they had any idea on how I was feeling.

No one knew, they just assumed they did so they could tell me it gets easier but the truth was that it doesn’t. Every single moment, every single breath I took felt like a hole was carving inside my chest, I was dying every day, slowly and death would be the greatest mercy ever.

Somewhere downstairs, I heard the door to house open followed by heavy footsteps that soon began to make their way into the bedroom. They began to climb up the stairs and I know they were making their way into the bedroom.

I was right because the door to the bedroom suddenly slammed open and Nikolai stood at the doorway, a heavy fur cloak that was covered in snow which was proof of how heavy the storm was on the outside. He wasn’t alone, he brought the whole house with him and that was the last thing I wanted to deal with today.

"For fuck’s sake, are you trying to get yourself killed?"

Was the first the first thing Nikolai said and I looked up only to see him go towards the window. With a grunt, he reached outside and pulled the shutters shut. I wanted to tell him to leave it open but I knew that I couldn’t, he was going to do whatever he wanted anyway. The best thing I could do was just keep quiet, if I gave no response, they were going to leave me alone anyway which was what I wanted.

"Son!" My mother came to sit right next to me on the bed and I regarded her with a bored look, "How long are you going to be like this?"

For as long as I want! I thought to myself not willing to give them a response.

"Brother, I know it’s hard..."

"Do you?" I couldn’t help but start speaking now, my voice sounded hoarse from not speaking in weeks. I turned slowly to stare at Killian who was looking at me with misty eyes as he stood at the edge of the bed. "You claim you know it’s hard, but honestly Killian, do you?"

"That isn’t fair and you know that." He responded, his voice strained, "I lost her too, she was my friend."

"Was?" I chuckled dryly which soon sent me into coughing fits. The chill had settled into my lungs and all I had to slap a hand on my mouth to stop the tremble that followed, "You speak of her in past tense. Bold of you to call her your friend when you’ve given up on her so quickly."

Killian swallowed as he stood there, his shoulders were stiff and there was a hollow look in his gaze but he looked away from me. "You can’t go on like this Reagan."

"Oh Killian, you have no idea." I croaked before I laid back down on the bed, ending the conversation.

I heard someone sigh but I couldn’t be bothered to care. I laid on the bed staring at the wall which was the only thing that seemed to calm me down. I heard retreating footsteps and I didn’t turn around, I didn’t care about that as I pulled the duvet over my head enveloping myself in darkness and the scent of Dahlia.

The door finally shut and it was the last audible noise before I was left in the oppressive silence. A heavy silence enveloped me that was louder than any voice but it was still a welcome reprieve from the whole ambushed I had suffered earlier.

My eyes stung but they failed to trigger any tears from me. I think my tears dried up from the time I started crying when I stood at the edge of the cliff crying at the loss of my wife and when I had screamed my lungs out as if that would be enough to ever bring her back. Now that was left was a brutal continuous painful void which consumed me because it held me with more intensity than the freezing temperature now.

Dahlia, where are you now? I need you, please! I pleaded as I curled myself tighter on the bed.

I heard a soft sigh come from somewhere in the room and I froze. There was someone in the room with me, I thought they were all gone. I froze as I turned slowly to look at who had spoken and I turned only to meet my mother standing there, looking at me with raised brows.

"Alright Reagan, I have stayed quiet long enough and allowed you to continue with this insanity for a while but it ends now!" My mother said as she went to lean on the table.

I sat up and turned to look at her with narrowed eyes, "Insanity?"

"I get it, you want the people to see you as though you are heartbroken about her death and anyone looking at you now would be foolish enough to doubt your performance."

I stared at her with a look of disbelief on my face, "Performance?" I asked as I stared at my mother in disbelief, "You think this is an act? That I am doing all of this to be seen?"

My mother shrugged at me, "Honestly, I am starting to think this is a little bit too much. We need you back at court, the king needs you and you know the plan. This is the perfect time for you to execute it and you can’t back out now!"

King? Plan? I snorted in response as I sat up straight and I glared at my mother. "My wife is dead and all you are worried about is the plan?" I asked my voice filled with disbelief as I stared at her,

Sighing, my mother clasped her hands in front of me. "Believe it or not but this wasn’t how I wanted it to end for her. She loved you and she also bore me a grandson which means she has fulfilled her duty to house Hawthorne. So I forgive her!"

Forgive her? Her duty?

Those words echoed in my mind as I glared at my mother, "And who are you to forgive her?" I asked her and I could see that it took her by surprise, "Dahlia hasn’t done anything wrong. If anything, it should have been us who should be begging for her forgiveness! We are the ones who have wronged her, we failed her. I promised to protect her and I..."

"You don’t promise her anything and we sure as hell do not owe her anything much less seeking for her forgiveness." My mother snapped at me, her voice deadly cold. "She chose to go, it was her choice Reagan and even though you claim you love her juts know it was her choice and..."

"No, you sent her there!" I yelled at her suddenly standing up, "You sent her there it wasn’t her choice. Now tell me mother, did you know this would happen when you sent her there? Was this your doing mother_"

Before I could complete my sentence, my mother stepped forward and delivered a slap to my face. I snorted in response, not in the least surprised by her reaction. "Truth hurts mother, doesn’t it?"

"I do not know what in the hells is wrong with you but you better sort it out, fast!" She hissed at me before she walked out the door, her cloak sweeping across the floor as she walked out of the room.

I stared at the door she slammed shut with more force than necessary.

I swear mother, if you had anything to do with Dahlia’s disappearance, I won’t sit still!

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