The Greatest Sin [Progression Fantasy][Kingdom Building]
Chapter 308 – Indulging Curiosity

Helenna threw another two pieces of gum into her mouth and started to chew. A shiver went down her back from the ridiculously strong taste of mint but she needed to hide the smell of wine. Frankly, she would not complain about Malam’s drinking again, Helenna herself had only cut down because of how much Malam drank. Now that the Goddess of Love was working again, the scheming engine within had to be powered and the nerves had to be calmed. Wine succeeded in both.

Helenna looked up at one of the clocktowers in New-Nanbasa. She still had fourteen minutes to kill, although she supposed that the early morning breakfast with the executives of Doschia’s Stahlwerks could be started early. Stahlwerk, then LKN, Lubskie Kopalnie Narodowe, then Dass, Royal Allian Shipyards, TrenRilia, then another half a dozen meetings which would lead to the afternoon. After that, it was the Kirinyaan companies which exported to Epa. Some, Arascus had reorganized already, Imperial Mines and Skyfleet had been assimilated from the old mining companies and the various civilian airline companies. Others, Nanbasa Shipyards for one, were  in the process of becoming Dockyards East-Arika. And others still he had not gotten his hands on.

Malam had told Helenna to find undeniable mountains of treachery, all Helenna had managed to find was molehills and it wasn’t for a lack of effort. Epa was surprisingly non-corrupt, although that was par for the course in regards to war-time revolutions. The biggest excesses was just small things, the son of LKN’s director had been passed over from the draft, Stahlwerk charged the Doschian Konigsministerium der Verteidigung prices roughly seven to eight percent above market rates. TrenRilia had taken the opportunity to stop servicing routes that they had been forced to serve by the Crown under the guise of needing more trains for military logistics. Dass in Rancais claimed more or less every cent spent by its board of directors as a business expense. Simple, small things that, quite honestly, could be passed over.

Helenna blew a bubble with the gum and chuckled to herself. Malam had honestly not placed her trust in Helenna, to think that the Goddess of Hatred thought she was better than the Goddess of Love in this game. The gum popped and Helenna sucked it back in.

Was there anyone better than her at creating mountains out of molehills?

She had spent a millennium in the White Pantheon doing nothing but that.

Neneria hummed a little tune to herself as she watched a flock of birds in the distance. The entrance hole Kassandora had picked out was in the middle of nowhere and Iniri was slowly digging out a massive tunnel for the Underground Expeditionary Legion. Somewhere, somehow, whether it was from Iniri herself or Kavaa or one of the troops, Neneria had heard the complaint: apparently the slope had to be very shallow since Kassie wanted a trainline to be installed which would supply the UEL’s logistics.

How, what, where, when and why all ended in the same question in Neneria’s mind: Did she really care? She turned and looked out over the camp in the distance. Square and blocky, with wide rows for cars and tanks and now a new station for trains being built by the engineer corp. But the tents themselves were arranged in campfires around circles, it wasn’t a space efficient system, that was for sure, but Kassandora swore by it. Then a massive gash in the crowd that looked as if a colossal titan had leaned down to drag his finger through the dirt. Cranes were lowering steel beams for train tracks into it, diggers and bulldozers were creating channels for some reason, trucks were driving down empty, then returning loaded with dirt. In the distance, a small hill had already sprouted out of the ground.

Neneria couldn’t make out anyone of importance in the throngs of people that were marching about. She watched for a few minutes and felt the earth move and shake as men raced out of their tents. This time, only thirty or so fell over. The team of sergeants and quartermasters Kassandora had assigned were already driving around in their roofless jeep, ready to provide a verbal beating to anyone they spotted that had gone lazy on the tent’s structure. The first time more than half the camp had been knocked over but now the quakes from Iniri’s roots ripping a tunnel into the ground was common enough. Neneria didn’t really care though, it wasn’t her problem.

Neneria turned to look at the flock of birds. Her eyes raced over the landscape as she walked on one of the huge rocks that littered the Kirinyaan Badlands. Those birds were pretty, but she did not come here to watch birds. The Goddess of Death made one full circle around herself, there was no one about. From here, the edge of the cliff obscured even Kassandora’s massive war camp. There was still noise from the construction machinery, and the earth still quaked and shook every now and then, but Neneria supposed here was as good a spot as any.

It was time to indulge her own curiosity.

Neneria called upon Maisara’s soul. It was the same as all the other souls, she merely summoned them. There was no flash, no great sound, no thunder or screams. This art was not Fer’s bestial passion nor Anassa’s delusional confidence. This was merely silent death. In one moment, there was the sky, the birds, the horizon and the red Kirinyaan landscape. In the next moment, nothing changed save for the addition of Maisara.

The Goddess of Order stood there, ghastly green and opaque, still in her silver armour and long silver hair. She stood just shorter than Neneria. Of Death inspected the woman’s height as Maisara inspected her, she’d be about Kassandora’s height. Maisara’s axe was on her back and the woman was looking at her as if being a ghost was just another Tuesday for her.

Neneria raised an eyebrow. Maisara kept her gaze fixed on Neneria but said nothing. Of Death sighed, she supposed that since this was her kingdom, she should introduce Maisara to it. It was only polite after all. “You reacted far better to it than I thought you would.” Maisara shrugged as she began to look around.

“Is this it?” Maisara asked and Neneria cracked a smile. She supposed Maisara should get a lesson for a comment like that. Neneria wagged her finger and Maisara collapsed to her knees, the Goddess of Order grit her teeth as if trying to hold something up, slowly her legs started to shake, her arms gave out, she fell onto the floor and let out a groan of pain.

“That was only a fraction of what I can do.” Neneria said. Maisara’s ghost heaved heavily on the ground. The Goddess of Order got to her knees, wiped her dry mouth and shook her head.

“That was more what I expected.” Maisara said as she stood up. “What do you want?”

Neneria stared at Maisara, Maisara stared at Neneria. What did the woman even mean, what did Neneria want? “You have nothing else to say?” Neneria asked.

“Should I?”

“Should you not?” Neneria asked in return and Maisara tilted her head as if Neneria was being difficult.

“You summoned me, shouldn’t you be the one with something to say?”

“I was curious as to what you were feeling.” Neneria answered and Maisara blinked. She looked down at her body, she flexed her fingers. She patted the armour over her stomach.

“Fine?” Maisara replied as if she didn’t know herself. “What am I supposed to say?”

“I just mean how you are feeling?!” Neneria asked with some more urgency.

“I feel like I’m dead.” Maisara replied and Neneria shook her head.

“I meant…” Neneria didn’t know what she meant. She asked this question to more or less everyone. “Emotionally? Sensation wise? Anything?”

“Why?” Maisara asked and Neneria sighed. What a difficult Goddess.

“What do you mean why?” Neneria asked. “Because I’m curious? That’s why?” She tried to be polite and keep the sarcasm out of her voice. Maisara shook her head and sighed, through her, a plane appeared in the distance. Another set of supplies to be delivered to the UEL no doubt. “So?”

There were times when Kassandora talked down to Neneria. Fer did it a lot too. Anassa rarely did it, but right now, Maisara looked at Neneria with such a gaze of pure befuddlement that Neneria almost took a step back. “You’re asking me that?”

Neneria took a deep breath and shook her head. “You will tell me or I will force it out of you.”

“I feel dead.” Maisara replied dryly. “Dead and fine. Shouldn’t you know what it’s like?”

“I’ve never died.” Neneria replied. “I’m just curious as to what it’s like in there.”

“I’m neutral on it.” Maisara answered and Neneria looked at the woman in disbelief. She had been alive for… Neneria didn’t even know how. Older than the nation state, older than the calendar, older than civilization. She had seen humans when they still pranced about in animal skins and huddled in caves. And not once had anyone ever told her they were neutral on dying.

Neneria sighed and shook her head. “Are you stupid?”

Maisara’s eyes bulged in surprise. “Am I stupid?” She repeated. “Did you just ask me that? I’m probably smarter than you.”

“I have no doubt you’re smarter than me.” Neneria replied and Maisara tilted her head, mouth slightly open. “How can you just be fine?”

“Because I’m dead?” Maisara posed the statement as a question. “What do you even want? You won. This is it, it’s over for me.”

“Ah!” Neneria said, finally she had cracked this Goddess. “So resignation is something you have.”

“Of course I’m resigned.” Maisara said as if that wasn’t a revelation in the slightest. “I’m dead, what can I do at this point? I’m not happy with it obviously, but I’m fine.”

“How are you fine?” Neneria asked and Maisara looked around.

“Because it’s not as bad as I expected?” Maisara said. “We all thought it would hurt more.” The Goddess of Order took a step to the side as she tested the ground. It was as if the woman was afraid of falling through the surface of the world. “Also what do you mean I’m smarter than you?”

Neneria shrugged. “More knowledgeable maybe then. I’m probably more intelligent if you’re not accepting the statement just like that.” She honestly meant it but likewise, there was no shame in it. She was too old to really care about such trite like intelligence, Saranael of Knowledge was the smartest of them all and his own mind drove him into a logical loop of insanity. That’s what such fine intelligence brought. Neneria didn’t need something like that.

“Ahh…” Maisara actually made a wordless, stunned sound. “Okay?”

“Okay.” Neneria said.

Maisara stared at Neneria. Neneria stared at Maisara.

“So how are you feeling now?” Neneria asked. Maisara crouched down, her eyes running up and down Neneria’s dark dress, as if the woman was unsure of what she was looking at.

“Are you normal?” Maisara asked.

“I am normal, now can you answer my question?” Neneria replied.

“I…” Maisara replied hesitantly. “It’s still fine. I’m not going to fight for you if that’s what you’re thinking about.”

“I have no intention of making you fight for me.” Neneria replied. She nodded to herself. This was an odd Goddess indeed. But then she had never been much good with people either so maybe it was just the fact there was a communication barrier between them. “What do you like to do?” Neneria asked bluntly and Maisara’s jaw dropped.

“What?”

“What do you like to do?” Neneria replied.

“I like work?” Maisara replied. “I… I like Fortia too.” Neneria nodded, it was common knowledge that Of Order and Of Peace liked each other. “I…” Maisara shook herself and looked at Neneria again. She raised her voice into something resembling anger, but Neneria was sure that it was loud for show and not actual malice. “What are these questions even? Aren’t you going to ask about the Pantheon? About the War in Epa? Excuse me?”

“I don’t care.” Neneria replied. “Kassie might, but I don’t, and Kassie isn’t here.”

“Kassandora?”

“Who else could Kassie be?” Neneria replied.

“I’m just making sure since…” Maisara wagged her finger at Neneria. “Well, you’re not normal.”

Neneria blinked and cracked a smile. She felt her fingers start to do their rhythmic tapping whenever she got stressed. Her thumbs would bounce off the tips of each finger in a linear fashion, up and down, down and up. “I am the most reasonable person I know.” Neneria replied. “I don’t argue and I don’t get emotional. I am very normal.” Why was she defending herself? This was a damn ghost!

Maisara shook her head. “That’s exactly the sort of reaction someone who is not normal would give.”

“What do you know of normal?” Neneria asked.

Maisara squinted at Neneria again and raised an eyebrow. “I was the Goddess of Order Neneria.”

“And I’m the Goddess of Death, yet I don’t really know much about dying.” Neneria replied with a smug smile. She knew she got Maisara there. And yet it didn’t seem like she did. Maisara only shrugged.

“I’m not…” Maisara said. “Well, you’re…” The Goddess of Order gave up and shook her head. “I don’t understand anything if I’m going to be honest Neneria. Can we go from the beginning again?”

Neneria nodded, this, she understood perfectly. Frankly, she wished people communicated more often in this open and straightforward manner. “I killed and captured you.” Neneria began, her tone as neutral as the Kirinyaan landscape around them. “Now, I am questioning you for what you are feeling. I did this because I expected some unique opinion from you, because you’re the Goddess of Order. You do have a unique opinion, which is interesting, however I am stunned by this fact. This is happening because Iniri is digging a hole and I am bored.” She finished with a smile and saw Maisara staring at her as if she was gawking at a damn animal in a zoo. “Please do not look at me like that.”

“This is actually Neneria I was captured by?” Maisara asked.

“I am Neneria.” Neneria stated. Maisara sighed and shook her head.

“You are nothing how I imagined you to be.” Neneria didn’t know if that was a compliment or an insult.

“You are less argumentative than what I heard of you.” Neneria replied and Maisara shrugged.

“I’m dead, what is there to argue about?” Maisara asked.

“Did you see Atis in there?” Neneria asked and Maisara’s eyes bulged again.

“You have Atis?”

“Ah.” Neneria said. “So you didn’t?”

“I just sat down.”

“So you can sit in there?”

“I don’t know.” Maisara said. “I didn’t feel anything I don’t think, but I know I sat down.”

“Ah.” Neneria said and clicked her tongue. This was disappointing. Mortals all had different opinions on what the afterlife within Neneria’s heart looked like, Atis had described it as a forest but that was so… predictable and boring. Maisara likewise was predictable and boring. Of course the Goddess of Order would treat death as just a place to sit down and do nothing in.

Neneria sighed as she inspected Maisara again. “You are odd.” Neneria stated. Maisara made a stupid face of disbelief and put one hand to her forehead.

“You’re one to talk.”

“I am one to talk.” Neneria said. “What’s your favourite drink?”

“WHAT ARE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT NENERIA?!” Maisara shouted.

“I’m passing the time. I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.”

“WHAT DO I CARE WHAT THE FUCK YOU LIKE TO DRINK?” Neneria made a flat face. Insults and so on, she could take. She was the Goddess of Death, there was a pride in that. The title was a shield, what people thought about the Goddess of Death was almost irrelevant to what they thought of Neneria. The Goddess of Death came silently and killed without a word, yet the Goddess of Death did not drink. It was Neneria who drank, not Of Death. Worse yet, she knew it was stupid. Many people did not care what she liked to drink, yet this was Maisara the ghost. Neneria wanted to tell her about her favourite drink, ghosts were easier to talk to than people.

“I like vodka.” Neneria tried to salvage the conversation. “Mixed with juices to be sweet. The Lubskans make this coloured vodka, it is very tasty.”

“Neneria, what are we talking about?” Maisara asked.

“We’re passing the time, Iniri is digging a hole.” Neneria replied as she blinked. She didn’t want her eyes to get wet. The fact that Maisara did not care about what she drank shouldn’t hurt. It simply shouldn’t. It was stupid, she had just killed Maisara. Of course the woman did not like her. Neneria took a deep breath and realised that was the issue. She had killed Maisara, so the woman wouldn’t like too much. That was why Maisara didn’t care. If she gave Maisara enough time, then maybe the Goddess of Order would become talkative.

“I like vodka too.” Maisara said. “But clear.”

“Fer likes that.” Neneria said, suddenly smiling. “I’m glad you answered, thank you.”

“Why are you thanking me for that?” Maisara asked. “You’re a Divine, Divines don’t say thank you.”

“You’re a ghost though, and we’ll probably talk more, so I want to build up rapport with you.” Neneria said. Just how Kassie and Malam and Father did it. They would first be friendly.

“When you’re building up rapport, you’re not supposed to tell the other person you are.”

“Ah.” Neneria replied. And she had screwed up again. She took a deep breath and shook her head. “Apologies then.” Maisara sighed and shook her head.

“Alright Neneria. Great. Fantastic.” The woman turned around and screamed into the air, and then turned back around to Neneria. “Why are you like this?”

“Like what?” Neneria replied.

“Nevermind.” Maisara replied. “Never-fucking-mind. Fuck. How? Why? Neneria. You...” Of Order shook her head, her opaque silver hair, tinged with ghastly green swayed from side to side. “Are you going to draft me?”

“You’re drafted already.” Neneria said. “I assume you meant break you?”

“Is there a difference?”

“Most souls I capture don’t want to fight for me.” Neneria said. “So I break them before using them on the field.”

“How do you break souls then?” Maisara asked. The tone Neneria used to answer had about as much excitement as she would use to comment on how blue the sky above them was: none at all.

“I cause them immense pain.” Neneria replied and Maisara nodded.

“Are you going to break me then?”

“Kassie didn’t want me to and also I don’t have much reason to at this point.”

“You don’t?” Maisara sounded offended.

“All you can do is swing an axe around. That’s not really needed.”

“If it was someone else, I would actually be offended.” Maisara said flatly. Neneria raised an eyebrow, the woman was obviously offended, why was she trying to hide it?

“Okay.” Neneria said. She didn’t know if that statement was supposed to be offensive or not. “Ahh…” Neneria trailed off.

“Why did Kassandora not want you to?” Maisara asked.

Neneria merely shrugged in reply. “I can’t read minds.” And Maisara gawked at her as if she said something stupid again. Neneria merely sighed and shook her head, she simply did not get it. Why was the woman even surprised? Kassie was Kassie, to call Kassie a genius was an understatement. In terms of intelligence: There was Father, Kassie and Malam and then there wasn’t a drop. There was a damn mountain of distance between those three and the next set of geniuses. “Why are you looking at me like that? I don’t second-guess Kassie.”

“You’re not curious?” Maisara asked and Neneria smiled smugly. She realised what was being done, and she was glad that this ghost couldn’t didn’t manage to trick her.

“You know Kassie actually predicted this.” Neneria said.

“What?” Maisara asked, her tone confused, her face simply unamused.

“She said this.” And Neneria pulled a slightly faster and slightly deeper tone compared to before. “The best way to keep secrets is for the least people to know them, so we operate on a need-to-know basis.” Neneria smiled smugly at Maisara. “Do you know what that means?” She didn’t let the woman answer. “It means if I don’t need to know, then I don’t know it.”

“I know what need-to-know means Neneria.” Maisara sounded exhausted. “Wow you are difficult.”

“I get that a lot.”

“Colour me surprised.” Maisara replied sarcastically. Neneria returned a flat look to the Goddess of Order, was this ghost actually snarky to her? Excuse me?

“Surprise doesn’t have a colour.” Neneria replied.

“It does.” Maisara said.

“What is it then?”

“Pale off-tinge grass-green for a little, white for a major surprise.” Maisara said and Neneria raised an eyebrow.

“And you know this how?” Neneria asked. Since when did emotions have colours?

“Helenna’s hair.” Maisara answered and Neneria blinked in surprise. Oh. She hadn’t thought of that. That… Well, that did check out.

“I did say you were smarter than me.” Neneria replied honestly. She had said it at the start indeed. Frankly, Maisara was quite interesting. “You’re very well behaved.” And once again, Maisara looked at Neneria as if she had just said something terrible. They held the silence for a few seconds, until Maisara realised that Neneria wanted her to respond.

“Do you want me not to be?” Maisara asked. “I assume you’re just going to make it feel like I’m crushed again.”

Neneria shook her head. “Sometimes I have souls that try to runaway so I just let them go for a while, then bring them back to me. I thought you’d do that.”

Maisara shrugged. “I led armies against you, I understand there’s more to your powers than just…” She lifted her opaque arms up and gave them a shake. “Than this.”

Neneria nodded grimly, her lips pursed. This Maisara was smart indeed, most people thought that the Legion was simply the inside of her own heart, but it more of a state of being. Once someone became part of the Legion, then the only way to leave was for them to be released from their binding. A soul could be on the other side of the world, and they would still be under Neneria’s influence. They had tested it before the Great War started with Arascus. “There is.” Neneria said. “Although I can’t explain it very well.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Maisara replied.

“Thank you.” Neneria answered and then she stopped. Was the woman not curious? Frankly, she could explain it perfectly! She knew how her powers worked! She wanted to gloat and be pestered about them, especially by a Divine she actually had some modicum of respect! It was the one thing she was good at after all! What was this Maisara? Why was she…

Why was she so normal right now? The woman had just died! How did she keep herself together like this? Where were the tears? The cries of regrets? The unfulfilled promises? Why was the woman acting as if she had just gone through all this before? “Are you not sad about the fact you don’t have a body anymore?” Neneria asked.

“Do you have some sort of brain damage Neneria?” Maisara replied. “Actually? Do you?”

“I just asked a question.”

“Of course I am.”

“You’re not showing it.”

Maisara shook her head and once again looked at Neneria with befuddlement. “What do you want me to say? I’m holding it together, there is nothing to get stressed about. I’ve lost, it’s over. I’m dead. Now all I can do is wait for you to release me or die, so I’m going to wait.”

“Ah.” Neneria replied. “So do you hate me?”

“What sort of questions are these Neneria?”

“I’m just asking.”

“Is it going to be like this the whole time?” Maisara asked. “You’re not playing a character right now?”

“I’m not a good actress.” Neneria said. “Although everyone says I sing very well when I get drunk.” Of Death blushed at that, it was always an odd feeling that she sang well. She had never trained her voice, it was simply a natural talent.

Maisara sighed and threw her arms up in the air and then back down. “Wow.” Of Order said as she stood there, still armoured, axe still on her back. “I couldn’t have been stuck with Kassandora or Irinika or Arascus. It’s with you.”

“You wouldn’t like Iri.” Neneria said. “She’s very…” What would be a good way to describe Of Darkness? “Grandiose.” That was it. Like Anassa, but worse. Anassa had some tinge of modesty to her.

“Mmh.” Maisara said.

“You’re not allowed to say that though.” Neneria quickly followed up. “She’s my sister, not yours. I don’t want you bad mouthing her.”

“I don’t gossip.” Maisara replied flatly, as if there was nothing to worry about and Neneria was throwing a fuss over a triviality.

“That’s good.” Neneria said, she knew there was one question she was avoiding. She wanted to ask it, but she rarely if ever did. Never to a person who was alive, that was for certain. She could not imagine a single reality were she asked it to anyone but her close family, and even then it was something that had to be forced out of her. But this was a ghost. This was Maisara true, but it was a ghost. It was one of Neneria’s own. The Goddess of Death took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and practically spat the words out. They had to be said though, for Neneria’s own sanity. And frankly, if the woman answered wrongly, Neneria could just send her away and never talk to her again. She’d beat herself over the head with it for a while, but eventually, that embarrassment would pass. “Do you hate me?”

And Neneria opened her eyes to look at Maisara. Their eyes locked as Maisara stared her down. The Goddess of Order stood there, in her silver armour. She took a deep breath, that chest plate of hers rising and falling with her breath. And she opened her mouth. It took all of Neneria’s willpower not to recall the woman right there and then. She knew if she recalled Maisara right now, she wouldn’t be able to bring her forth into existence. “No.” Maisara said.

And somehow, that answer was even worse than a yes.

Neneria stared at Maisara for a moment in silence. That plane started to land in Kassandora’s camp. “No? Why?” Neneria said, her voice full of excitement. She had killed the woman. She had imprisoned her soul. She had drafted her into the Dead Legion. She would make her fight against her old allies. And it was a no? Excuse me? But likewise, there was another side to the coin. Maisara didn’t hate her! That meant there was a Divine ghost she could talk to! And one that actually respectable too!

“I’ve killed people too and I don’t hate myself.” Maisara answered.

“You don’t?” Neneria asked.

“Why should I?”

“I thought…” Neneria trailed off. “Never mind, don’t worry about it. But you don’t?”

“No.”

“How?”

Maisara shrugged. “I never did. I can’t tell you how to dig yourself out of that hole.”

“I’m not in that hole” Neneria replied and Maisara nodded as if disbelieving.

“Right.” Maisara answered, obviously not buying the lie. “Why are you so curious then?”

“Well just a bit.” Neneria admitted. It wasn’t self-loathing, but there were parts of herself she disliked. “Aren’t we all a little self-critical?”

Maisara shrugged. “I don’t know, but I’m not a hypocrite. You killed me and you imprisoned me. If the roles were reversed, I would have killed and imprisoned you too. So how can I hate you?”

“Malam says we all should have a little bit hatred to give us strength.”

“You’re too odd to be hateable Neneria.” Maisara said. “I feel sorry for you if you must know the truth.”

“Sorry?” Neneria had to force the word out of her mouth. “For me?”

“Because it’s obvious you have something wrong with you.” Maisara said. “Just from this conversation, I don’t know what it is, but it’s there. Once, I was jealous of your power, but if your power made you into this, I’m glad I don’t have it.” Neneria had no answer. She just stood there, frozen, as Maisara gazed at her.

“I don’t want your pity.”

“Yet you can’t stop it.” Maisara replied flatly. “It is what it is, the more powerful we get, the worse people we become.”

Neneria sighed heavily. And she had been defeated in a game of words once again. Maisara pitied her and there was no retort Neneria could make. Maisara pitied her. One conversation was all it took to take Maisara’s opinion of her flip it from terrified respect to pity. To damn pity.

This is why Neneria talked to ghosts and not to real people.

She sent Maisara away and promised to herself not to indulge her own curiosity again.