The Grand Duke's Soulmate
Chapter 309: A Guilt of The Past (I)

Chapter 309: A Guilt of The Past (I)

"By who?" Clara’s voice trembled with alarm.

Noah heaved a sigh, his expression reflecting a mixture of frustration and helplessness.

"I wish I knew," he admitted. "I have spent years investigating, but there is no trace. All the evidence, though circumstantial, pointed towards me. It was enough for everyone to believe that I was the culprit."

"His Highness, the Grand Duke never believed it!" countered the knightess.

Curiosity tinged Noah’s response as he probed further.

"How do you know?"

A glimmer of certainty shone in Clara’s eyes as she explained, "If he did, you wouldn’t be here. You would have been immediately expelled from the knighthood, stripped of your title, or executed!"

Noah’s lips curled into a bitter smirk, his voice filled with pain.

"I almost faced that fate... The scars you and Emily saw on my back were the result of it. I was subjected to a hundred floggings by His Highness himself, and I came close to death."

"Oh, my goodness!"

Clara’s hand flew to her mouth in shock at the revelation.

"Luckily, His Highness was merciful. He didn’t carry out the entire sentence at once. It was ten lashes administered daily. Each day, after being flogged, I would be thrown back into my prison cell, and Mr Amares would tend to my wounds."

"Oh, God! I can’t imagine it!"

"The punishment would be postponed if I couldn’t get up the next day. Had His Highness flogged me a hundred times consecutively, I would not have survived. No one can endure such torment," Noah continued.

"It must have been excruciating for you," Clara acknowledged.

"It was indeed painful. But more than anything, the humiliation, the loss of trust, and the disbelief from nearly everyone have caused an enduring agony that persists even now."

The knightess’s sorrowful gaze met Noah’s as she expressed her sympathy, "I’m truly sorry for what you endured. I know this is might be speaking out of turn, but I still concerned when you said that you’re a womaniser... That would’ve affected Emily..."

The knight quickly cut off her words.

"Was, Dame Verns. I won’t deny or pretend that it never happened. I engaged in numerous casual affairs with women, seeking only pleasure and amusement. As a former mercenary, I was accustomed to such a lifestyle, making it difficult to adapt when I joined the knighthood. But following the incident, I had changed."

Clara’s voice carried genuine empathy as she acknowledged his hardships, "It must have been difficult going through that..."

"You seem to believe me," he remarked, his tone laced with scepticism.

Clara’s response was resolute and unwavering, "I do believe you, Sir Brooks."

Surprised flickered across Noah’s face at her reply.

"Why? Is it because you were thankful to me for saving you? If yes, you should rethink back. As a knightess, you shouldn’t let your emotion cloud your judgement," he said as if her opinion of him didn’t matter.

Clara met his gaze.

"No, it wasn’t because of that! Honestly... I... I, too, had a similar experience..." Clara finally admitted as she stammered in vulnerability.

Noah’s confusion was evident as he said, "I don’t understand."

Taking a deep breath, Clara revealed a hidden part of her past.

"Sir Brooks, there are things about me that you don’t know. My real name is not Clara Verns, but Ammara Cerva. I came from the Sunik Tribe and changed my name after running away from home."

Noah’s eyes widened in surprise.

"You’re a warrior of the Sunik Tribe? Aren’t they the tribe who possess the myrth stones, a powerful explosive material?"

"How did you know?"

"As a former mercenary, my travels across the continent exposed me to valuable information. I’ve heard tales of the Sunik Tribe and their skills. They were feared by many among the other tribes. That explains your exceptional ability to train the eagles, a rare skill indeed."

Clara let out a weary sigh, her gaze distant.

"My past is not something I’m proud of. As a tribe warrior born into a noble lineage, I was sent to countless tribal wars to defend and protect my people. I took the lives of numerous individuals, more than I can even count. I used to serve my tribe with pride. But my life changed after I returned from one particular battle..."

Noah’s attention was reflected in his growing intrigue. He listened intently, captivated by the story of Clara’s past.

"What happened, Dame?" he asked inquisitively.

As Clara delved into the depths of her haunting memories, her expression grew clouded, and the weight of her experiences became palpable. Slowly, she opened up to Noah, revealing her own share of the story that had shaped her.

"I never regretted killing my tribe leader," Clara said after telling her past. "But the guilt I carried for murdering an innocent man, someone who had nothing to do with the incident... It consumed me. When you explained your situation, I could empathise completely. In my case, it was even worse, as I did commit the crime."

Noah shook his head in disbelief.

"What a surprise... I never thought that we share almost similar experiences."

Clara nodded, her eyes reflecting the complexity of her emotions.

"We both tried our best to bury the past, to move forward and find redemption... but it isn’t as simple as it seems. As for me, the burden of my actions and the weight of guilt linger, even when I strive to leave it all behind."

Noah’s gaze softened.

"Indeed it is. Who else knew about your secret?" he asked.

Clara took a moment to gather her thoughts before responding to the knight’s question.

"Lady Raychard’s previous nanny knew, and she revealed it to His Highness Prince Kiev when he first visited during the funeral of the previous King and Queen of Ardel. That’s when I met him for the first time. Additionally, I confessed everything on the day the Mederian royal siblings arrived at the mansion and met me, so Her Highness Princess Callis, Lady Raychard, and His Highness the Grand Duke are also aware."

Noah absorbed the information, his brow furrowing slightly.

"I see... Yes, I remember. I was guarding the room when they all went in to see you. Is this why you’ve been feeling down lately?" he asked, concerned.

Clara’s gaze dropped as her face coloured with sadness.

"Not entirely..."

Noah paused, taking a moment to collect his thoughts. He then asked, "Who told you the rumours about me?"

Clara averted her eyes, her voice quiet.

"I just heard them," she replied evasively.

The knight’s eyes narrowed, sensing something amiss.

"It’s Mr Norman, isn’t it?" he guessed, as he knew, other than Emily, the assistant healer had been around Clara most of the time.

Worry flickered across the knightess’s expression when she heard the name. She quickly interjected, "No! Of course not!" in defence of the assistant healer.

Noah couldn’t help but smirk, seeing through her denial.

"Your eyes are telling a different story, Dame Verns. You’ll need to work on them if you want to convince me otherwise."

Clara sighed, realising her attempt to defend Ayden had fallen short.

"Ayden didn’t mean any harm... He’s just concerned about Emily."

"I can understand if he still harbours resentment towards me. Because of the incident, he and the entire knighthood also suffered," the knight admitted with a tone of defeat.

Curiosity sparked in Clara’s eyes as she sensed a deeper story.

"What happened to them?" she asked.

Noah’s voice carried a heavy weight as he recounted the incident’s aftermath.

"After being released by the Dracor’s authority, we returned to the capital as ordered by His Majesty. The news had already reached him, and he summoned His Highness the Grand Duke and the entire knighthood to the palace."

"His Majesty must have been furious since this matter involved the neighbouring kingdom. Should Dracor want to find fault, they could use it as an excuse for a conflict!"

"You are right. He was consumed by fury and ordered His Highness to strip me of my title and even contemplated executing me. However, His Highness refused to abandon me. Enraged by his defiance, His Majesty threw us all into the dungeon, subjecting us to torture. Even Mr Amares and Mr Norman, who were considered part of the knighthood, were not spared."

Clara’s eyes widened in shock.

"Dear Lord! They are not knights!"

"Thankfully, they both didn’t endure the same ordeal we had except for being imprisoned. But, Mr Norman, in particular, suffered mentally..." he paused, a remorse washing over him.

Curious, the knightess pressed gently, "Why so, Sir Brooks?"

"Because I was the reason why he couldn’t bid farewell to his mother," said Noah with a gaze full of sorrow.

"What?"

"Dame Verns, I grew up as an orphan, without any familial support, and had to navigate the harsh realities of the streets. Consequently, my focus was primarily on attaining power and wealth, as I had never truly experienced the meaning of having someone dear to me. But, Mr Norman... he has people he deeply cares about and a loving family, unlike me," Noah explained, his voice carrying a tinge of wistfulness.

"Please tell me about it, Sir Brooks! I really want to know what happened!" Clara urged in anticipation.

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