The Forsaken Hero
Chapter 44: Acknowledging the Truth

Chapter 44: Acknowledging the Truth

Following the encounter with the Pope, I was left to continue on with my life at the Divine Throne. Being free of an escort was both a blessing and a curse, having a greater impact than any of the other commands. The most notable change was a lack of respect among the regular slaves and priests. A Father was a noble figure, one whose very presence commanded subservience. Without his notable presence clearing the hallway and smoothing over contention, life became more difficult. On a positive note, without oversight, I could spend as much time as I wanted, which inevitably led me to the library.

I sighed contentedly as the musty smell of paper washed over me, welcoming me to my haven. Thron glanced up when I entered, beckoning me to him as soon as we locked eyes.

"Congratulations on the duel," he said, smiling widely as he patted me on the head.

I flinched at his touch, unused to the affection. Of course, it was natural considering he was old enough to be my grandfather, but was he really alright with touching my horns like that?

"Thank you," I said, relieved when he finally removed his hand. My discomfort disappeared, however, when the slave crest trembled, and I hurriedly amended my words. "B-but the real credit belongs to Soltair."

"Is that so," Thron said, "I noticed the absence of the Father. Did you earn a few privileges back?"

I thought for a moment, not daring to make a mistake with my words. "No, circumstances changed and I’m allowed to roam at my leisure."

Thron nodded, stroking his beard and scrutinizing me. After a moment, he gave a short nod and sat back in his chair. "In that case, what can I help you with today?"

It took a moment for me to reply. His familiar attitude was rather distracting, not to mention unfamiliar. Still, he was the librarian, and I’d learned to use him whenever possible.

Sorting out my thoughts, I took a deep breath. "I’m looking for Dispel Magic. Could you guide me to it?"

"Dispel Magic? If I recall correctly, you used it rather well in the duel. Here to brush up on the details?"

I nodded, pursing my lips to keep from revealing more. The truth was, Dispel Magic was the first fourth-circle spell I’d ever cast. I dimly remembered the runes, but had no recollection of the chant. I doubted I could complete half the spell, much less cast it again as I did before. It was amazing enough already that I pulled that off, especially considering it wasn’t even a Fate spell. Up until now, second-circle was my limit for any spell not of the Fate category.

After ascending on the magical lift, Thron left me in the Neutral Magic section, a place I’d never spent much time in. Neutral spells didn’t fit in any of the known categories, so were grouped together for organizational purposes. Of course, the boundaries between different types of magic felt relatively arbitrary, to begin with. Fate magic, for instance, included spells associated with divination, protection, and luck. As for how protection got lumped in, I couldn’t even guess, but I was grateful nonetheless. Spells like Aegis had been indispensable, and would likely continue to be so.

After sifting through the pile of spells, I found a copy of Dispel Magic. Unlike most Fate magic, which had only one or two tomes per spell, there were dozens of copies of Dispel Magic. According to the introduction, any mage capable of casting fourth-circle spells was required to add it to their repertoire. As I discovered, a weaker mage is at the complete mercy of a stronger one wielding this spell.

Curling up in a cushioned chair, I opened the book and began to read. The tome was thicker than any other spell I’d memorized due to the complexity of the runes and the depth of experience provided. Fourth-circle magic was exponentially more difficult than third, requiring significant amounts of mana and concentration.

How, indeed, had I cast this after only seeing it once? The thought returned to me throughout the day, and I found myself pondering that more than mastering the spell. I had a vague sense that something was missing, but could find no clues throughout the book. It was like an unscratched itch, eating away at my sanity until I finally sighed and dropped the book, cringing a bit as it slammed onto the table.

I stood and paced between the shelves, careful to keep my twitching tail from knocking anything over. "What is it?" I asked aloud, although to no one in particular.

With an exasperated sigh, I plopped back into the chair and opened the book once more. At the very least, I should memorize the chant and runes. Pushing the mystery to the back of my mind, I spent the remainder of the day immersed in the spell.

When night fell, I set the book down with a satisfied hum. I couldn’t claim to have mastered it, as that required experience casting it, I had full confidence in my knowledge of the magic circles and chant. Tomorrow, I’d head to the training fields and see if Selena could help me practice.

My heart fell as I thought of Selena. I didn’t mind that she took credit for my modifications, and only hoped she remained unscathed by the Pope’s schemes.

After I took the lift down, Thron’s voice reached out to me. "How did your studies go?"

"Hmm?" I paused midstep and looked over. They were fine." Strange. He normally spoke with me when I arrived to make sure I got where I needed to go.

"Glad to hear it. Are there any questions you have that I can help with?"

I blinked and nearly did a double-take. Where was all this coming from? "I had a few, but I doubt you’ll be able to help."

Thron looked at me for a moment, then he smiled. "I’d still like to hear about it. Would you mind if I walked you down to your room?"

The grandfatherly smile felt totally foreign to me, and I stood motionless as I tried to process his request. Was he looking for some sort of favor? I shivered, thinking of all the reasons an old man might want to follow a girl to her room. With that thought in mind, I hesitated, unconsciously taking a step back.

His smile faded at my discomfort, but he looked more concerned than frustrated. "Xiviyah, I understand you might not be used to kindness, but please understand that not everyone in the church seeks your destruction."

I shook my head at his words: "Please, don’t pretend you weren’t disgusted the first time I walked in. If the Pope hadn’t given permission for me to visit, I doubt you’d be any different than Davin and try to stop me from ’polluting these holy halls. ’I appreciate your help, but I think I’d best deal with things on my own. Good night, Thron."

He was silent for a moment, then slowly nodded. "If that is your wish.’

There was a subtle sorrow underlying his voice, stopping me in my tracks. Stopped by an unknown fear, I stood motionless in the doorway for some time, before finally daring to look back. Thron his back to me now, staring at a half-written page. His aged hands trembled slightly, holding a quill motionless in the air, and his aged shoulders held a slump that wasn’t there before.

Soltair believed in me. But why did this man? He was from Enusia, with all its hatred and prejudice. Why would he show kindness at a time like this? An uncomfortable thought invaded my mind, forcing me to acknowledge something I’d been avoiding.

Perhaps, the problem didn’t have to do with him, but me. Why did I push him away?

Deep down, I already knew the answer. For my entire life, I’d yearned for someone to trust, to rely on and love. Such a thing was but a fairytale in my previous life, a dream as distant as any magical world. Now that I stood in such a world, and I was afraid. Not of the cruelty and darkness of men, as those horrors were the one familiar constant, but of kindness, and light.

I took a long, drawn-out breath and looked down at my hands, clenching them to prevent them from shaking.

"T-Thron?" I called. My mouth felt heavy, but I forced the name through. Soltair had shown me I didn’t have to hide in the darkness any longer. As painful as it was, I yearned for light.

He froze and turned slowly. There was a tear in the corner of his eye, but he quickly brushed it away with a brown sleeve.

I took another deep breath, forcing myself to meet his gaze. "Actually, if it’s alright, there’s something I wanted to ask you."

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