The Empty Box and Zeroth Maria
Book 1: Chapter 8

27,754^th Time

Before long, my body is cold and empty. This means my very being should be hollow, too, but for some reason I wake up as usual.

The chill should have vanished by now, but it’s still here. Unable to bear it, I wrap my arms around myself as I shiver in my bed.

I was killed.

It’s March 2, during a loop somewhere up in the tens of thousands.

So even if something kills me, the Rejecting Classroom continues on as ever before. This realization seems to be carving me away from the inside, ensuring that the cold will never leave me.

I can’t take staying still like that any longer, so I head straight to school without bothering to really eat anything.

Outside is the overcast sky I know so well now. It’ll rain tomorrow. How long has it been since I last saw the sun?

The classroom is empty. I guess it makes sense since I’m at least an hour early for our first class.

A question pops into my head: Why am I so diligent about going to school?

I’ve noticed the repetition of the Rejecting Classroom many times before, like I did just now. If so, couldn’t I try not going to school as a way of fighting back against the cycle?

But no, I always go. Of course I do. As long as I’m in good shape, I’ll go. It’s part of my regular everyday life. It’s such an obvious, established fact that I would never even think of changing my routine. If it means maintaining the normalcy of my life, I’ll resist a new pattern at any cost. It’s my one true conviction.

I can see that now. That’s probably why I’m here. None of it makes the slightest shred of sense, but that’s what I feel in my gut. I’ll go to class even if no one’s there.

“…”

I move to the center of the classroom and climb on top of someone’s desk, my outdoor shoes still on. Sorry, whoever sits there. I try to remember their name or even their face, but I can’t. I’m sorry. I truly am.

I survey the room. I know that standing on the desk won’t change anything, but there’s still no one to be seen in the gloom of the classroom.

There’s no one in the classroom.

There’s no one in the classroom.

“……It’s so cold.”

I wrap my arms around my body.

I hear the door open. Seeing me standing atop someone’s desk, the new arrival frowns.

“…What the hell are you doing, Kazu?”

Daiya gives me a strange look.

I can feel the tension bleed away from my face.

“……Man, that’s a relief.”

Whispering this, I slowly climb down off the desk. Daiya watches me the entire time, his face scrunched in a scowl.

“Seeing you really takes a load off my mind, Daiya.”

“That’s nice.”

“I mean, I know you’re the real thing.”

“…C’mon, Kazu, you’re starting to scare me here, and it’s been a long time since that happened.”

“You may be real, but everything else here is fake. I can’t share anything with you. The next Daiya I meet won’t know the me who is here now. It’s like this is all some show, and I’m the only one on the other side of the TV screen. I know about you, but you don’t know about me. If that’s true, can I really even say you exist?”

That’s why there’s no one here.

No one?

“Oh…”

That’s wrong.

There is one person here.

A single, solitary entity who can share memories with me. As long as I don’t neglect to carry my memories over, I’ll never be separated from her.

It’s all clear to me now. It’s always been just the two of us here in the Rejecting Classroom. She’s been beside me all along within the cramped confines of this space that I will neither escape nor try to. She’s always viewed me as an enemy, so I’ve never had a chance to think about it before.

I sit down in my seat.

She sits down in hers next to me.

I can’t believe it. Just imagining her sitting beside me makes me feel a little better. Even though she’s the one who killed me.

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