The Empty Box and Zeroth Maria
Book 3: Chapter 15

Day 1 <E> Kazuki Hoshino’s Room

Upon returning to my room, I reflect on my memories of her.

Nana Yanagi. She was my classmate, the first girl I fell for, and—in a relationship with my best friend.

She and Yuri share the same last name, and they are at once alike and completely different. In a word, she was a troublemaker. She would suddenly shave off her eyebrows with a razor during break, cover the whole classroom in the pink powder of a fire extinguisher—the list of strange things she did was endless. The other girls even started calling her “Ex-ko” behind her back. (The “Ex” was short for “Eccentric.”)

I thought Yanagi was scary, and to be honest, I didn’t want to have anything to do with her. It would take a rare person to want to associate with a classmate who had bleached-blond hair, wore a decidedly unmodern long skirt that was too much for even the other bad girls, and smoked cigarettes in secret.

But as it happened, I knew just such an oddball.

Toji Kijima, my best friend.

Toji was full of curiosity, and his eyes positively shone whenever he encountered something new. Yanagi’s eccentric behavior never failed to ignite that gleam. I think becoming interested in her was an extremely natural thing for Toji. At first, Yanagi rebuffed his advances. But I think the truth is she most likely wanted someone to pay attention to her. She accepted Toji, and they started dating.

Almost as soon as they did, she revealed her true colors.

She was dependent on Toji. The extent of her need was, in a word, horrible. She never left his side for even a moment and lashed out at any girls who approached Toji to make them keep their distance. Because Toji wanted her to, she changed her blond hair back to black, wore a normal-length skirt, and buried her cigarettes in the garden.

Toji was everything to Yanagi.

Since he was her world, she couldn’t bear it if he said or did anything she didn’t like. Even the most trivial remark or behavior hurt her terribly. On occasion, she would even cut her wrists.

The only one who would listen to her at those painful times…was me.

The phone calls I got from her always started with sobbing. She would often drag me off somewhere away from prying eyes during breaks at school, then unleash a flood of tears.

At first, I was just trying to lend her an ear. But as time went on, she began to seek further comfort from me. She would get me to stroke her head, hold her, sleep beside her, even lick up the tears running down her cheeks. I remember her saying some really messed up things, like how the sight of my face as I guiltily lapped up her tears relaxed her.

That’s right. In the end, she was dependent on me, too.

Honestly, it was exhausting. I didn’t like the way she led me around by the nose, and at times, I even avoided her calls.

And that wasn’t just me. I soon found out how sick of it Toji was, too.

After countless talks of splitting up, the two of them finally called it quits for good.

From that time onward, I had to deal with her each and every day. Most people will probably never know what another person’s tears taste like, but I licked up so many that I could hardly stand the salty flavor anymore. Even then, I knew I was the only one she had, so I put up with it.

I still had my limits, though. The pent-up anger was beginning to make my stomach hurt. I lost my appetite. I grew irritable. Why was I stuck comforting her when we weren’t even lovers?

That’s why, one day, I said something about it to her.

“I can’t see you anymore.”

She didn’t understand.

In order to understand my own resolve, I gradually said harsher and harsher things.

I can’t see you anymore, you’re nothing but trouble, think of someone else for a change, Toji dumped you because you don’t think about how other people feel, I can’t stand it anymore, quit stalking me, freaking Ex-ko—

Then, the very same day I showered her with abuse—Yanagi and Toji disappeared.

The classmates who knew them only while they were together came up with all sorts of stories, like maybe they’d eloped, but I knew that wasn’t possible.

So why did they both vanish at the same time?

There was only one answer. Succumbing to hopelessness after I stabbed her in the back, Yanagi called Toji to meet her. And then—she made it so he couldn’t come back.

I blamed myself. It was my fault. It was all because I couldn’t support her enough. Because I shoved her away, even though I was the one person she could depend on.

But what took over my heart even more than guilt was emptiness.

Each day felt entirely void of meaning. Each day was as flavorless as a piece of gum that’s been chewed for three days straight. I found it was missing something. The world lacked flavor.

It lacked that intense, salty flavor.

You’re awful. How could you even consider disappearing from my life over a few words like that? Don’t you think you can keep depending on me? You— You’re so irresponsible, letting me experience that taste and then disappearing.

Why…did it have to be Toji?

If it were me, if you had me, I would have given you everything. I already pretty much had.

Once I reached that point, when I finally realized that my heart had become hollow…I truly, finally understood.

Yeah… What can I say?

I…loved Nana Yanagi.

By the time I realized that, she was already gone. She ran off with Toji, ran off with most of my heart, and vanished.

But though I may have betrayed someone I love, hurt them, drove them into a corner, or killed them, my normal life persisted. I was alive, so I had to keep on living. I had to make a normal world without her in it.

That’s why I had to forget her.

I had to forget about Nana Yanagi. She was never the type who would have anything to do with me anyway. I had to seal her away, this eccentric symbol of abnormality.

That’s how I was able to truly forget about her, to an almost incredible extent.

Now that I think about it, when did I become so fixated on normality?

CHOOSE THE TARGET YOU WOULD LIKE TO ASSASSINATE.

This message appears on the monitor alongside pictures of all six players, including me.

I can’t possibly make a choice like this.

I don’t understand the Game of Indolence. I suspect it might not have any meaning behind it at all.

I collapse on my bed.

But what am I trying to do by saying this Box is meaningless? Am I trying to suggest that the normal life I would go back to does have meaning?

That normal life built entirely around forgetting her?

“……”

I think about Yuri. No one needs to point it out—I’m aware that “Nana Yanagi” and “Yuri Yanagi” are beginning to overlap in my mind.

If I can save Yuri without betraying her, maybe I can escape from the spell Nana has on me?

I don’t know. I don’t know, but—

—the moment Yuri’s face surfaces in my mind—

—I taste someone’s tears in my parched throat.

Search the lightnovelworld.cc website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.