The Empty Box and Zeroth Maria -
Book 2: Chapter 17
May 5 (Tuesday), 11:00 PMNone of it has ended.
Even though Maria Otonashi promised I would never undergo another switch, none of it has ended.
For some reason, I’m standing in the middle of the schoolyard. It’s pitch-black, and there’s nothing around. I know the main building of the school should be there, but I can’t see anything. There’s nothing. Nothing near me.
It’s just me and Riko Asami facing each other, alone.
I don’t understand. How did I end up like this? Where did Maria go?
“Long time no see,” Riko Asami says as she stands right in front of me.
I scowl. Why does this feel so off?
“Heh-heh, you probably don’t recognize me in this form. It’s O.”
“Huh?”
Their manner of speaking is clearly wrong, and that smile is charming in a way I could never hope to be. Yeah, that settles it. This person must be O.“Why are you coming to me as Riko Asami…? Where’s Maria…?”
O’s answer is a smile as they walk toward me. I find myself edging away from this unknowable force. “Kazuki Hoshino said there was hope to be found, even in your life.” They extend their hand and push their fingers into my mouth.
“A-agh…?”
“Such a thing is impossible, I’m afraid.”
Riko Asami’s fingers wriggle violently in my mouth, turning slimy with my saliva. It drips off them in globs, like I’m being forced to drink the fluids of some insect.
“The reason being that this is all it takes for you to learn what you taste like,” O says, wearing my form. “…It’s the taste of scum.”
…Yes, I do taste it.
It’s bitter, so bitter that it overwhelms me. This body belongs to Kazuki Hoshino, but somehow the muck slowly starts spreading past the inside of my mouth, propagating like a virus. My body is blackening, tainted by the color of sin. The foul sludge floods over me, violating me.
O withdraws their fingers from my mouth. I drop to my knees, and the filth within me sloshes with the movement.
“There’s no helping your hatred. They made you a person”—the word makes me want to vomit—“capable of more bitter loathing than anyone. This is a truth that can never disappear. And that is why this scum will remain inside you for all eternity.”
O places their hands upon my shoulders. I look up into the face of Riko Asami, the last one I want to see.
“There is no reason someone like you, who can never eradicate the muck inside her, can ever taste hope.”
I’m well aware of this.
Hope will never be a part of my life. I’ve never felt it, not even once, and now that I’m corrupted—now that I’ve committed the sins I have—why would I ever experience it?
This is the end for Riko Asami.
“That’s not true.”
Still kneeling, I twist around to find the source of this voice behind me.
The one who called out is Maria Otonashi, gasping for breath. I see my older brother beside her. The one who’ll never call me his sister again.
“You’re here sooner than expected.”
“What are you trying to pull by hurting her, O?!” Maria Otonashi shouts, her voice rough with anger.
“Heh-heh… Perhaps the best way to put it is that I wish to tear you away from Kazuki Hoshino. I was just taking the opportunity to do a few things until you arrived… Are you here with the intention of giving her hope, by any chance?”
“Yeah,” Maria Otonashi answers plainly.
O provides no reaction.
“Riko.”
Hearing that name from my brother feels very strange.
Oh. It’s the first time he’s used it, that’s why. This is the first time he’s ever called me by my name since I gained this body.
“Why now? I thought I wasn’t your sister anymore.”
“Now you know in your heart that you’re Riko Asami. That changes everything. Because you know it, I can say your name.”
I stay silent, so Ryu presses on.
“Hey, what’re you going to do now? The Week in the Mud is about to be destroyed. You’re going to become Riko Asami again. You and I will be separated. What are you going to do when all that happens?”
“I’m going to use Maria’s Box.”
“Asami. I’m sorry, but we have to cancel that plan,” Maria Otonashi interrupts.
“Huh…?” I instinctively turn toward her.
“I changed my mind after hearing Miyazaki out. I cannot let you use this Box now.”
She says it so confidently, without the slightest hint of shame at breaking her promise to me.
No, why would there be? It was always unthinkable for her to do something as stupid as giving up her memories for me.
“Then I’ll just die.”
It’s the obvious answer. Now that things have reached this point, simply disappearing is the best ending I can hope for.
Ryu shouts at me in exasperation. “Do you honestly believe that ‘Riko Asami’ is yours alone?”
“…Huh?”
I am Riko Asami. I am mine. Anyone would understand that.
“Why do you look so surprised? You think you belong only to yourself? No way.” My brother still seems annoyed at my ignorance. “You belong to me, too. And that’s not all. You belong to Maria Otonashi, and to Kazuki Hoshino, too. So here’s the thing.”
He fixes me with a pointed stare.
“None of us are willing to let you die.”
I don’t understand what he means.
I can’t comprehend why my brother would say something like that with such kindness on his face.
“But how can I ever be forgiven for the horrible things I’ve done…? Death isn’t enough for me, you know? They both lost their lives because of me. That…”
“Asami.”
I stop short as I hear my name.
Maria Otonashi continues, “That’s the main reason I decided not to let you use my Box. I was mistaken when I said I would. Well, part of it was that Miyazaki was withholding information, but also I had misread the truth. It was Ryu Miyazaki who actually committed the murders, wasn’t it?”
……No. True, the one who did it was Ryu, but I knew how things could turn out when I called him for help. All he did was fulfill my desires for me.
That’s why the sin is mine.
“Don’t get the wrong idea, Riko. I wasn’t acting on your behalf when I killed them. I hated them both. Despised them. My emotions took over, and I lost control. That’s it.”
He’s lying.
I’m sure he really did hate them. But animosity alone wouldn’t have been enough to make him go through with it. He crossed that final line because he wanted to set me free. I’m the one who pulled the trigger.
“I thought about running away with you, but it wasn’t a realistic option. Neither of us is a legal adult, so we’d never be able to lead a proper life on the run. And even if we did, I can’t imagine we’d be happy being hunted every single day of our lives.” A faintly rueful smile appears on Ryu’s face. “I’m going to turn myself in, and I’m going to prove that you’re innocent. That’s the best choice available to me.”
My brother is attempting to wipe away my crimes, to take them all to prison with him.
“……Why would you do that for me…?”
“Don’t make me explain it.”
I simply can’t figure out why. Why? We’re brother and sister, but we’re also separate individuals. Nothing good will come for him if he does this for me.
Ryu pulls something out of his bag and hands it to me.
I accept it wordlessly. It could be my imagination, but I recognize this texture. I look down to see what exactly he gave me.
“…Oh.”
I can’t contain my surprise.
I thought it was ruined. I thought everything I ever cherished had been spoiled forever.
“I washed it, put in some stuffing, and stitched it up. That’s all. I mean, it’s not enough to make it as good as new, but it is fixed, right?”
It’s my rabbit plushie.
The one Ryu won for me from the crane game.
“Ah…aahhh…”
I fall to my knees on the spot. I can’t hold back the sobs escaping me or the tears running down my face, and just the tiniest bit of the filth inside me is flowing out with them. Not all of it, of course. I’ll still be carrying it with me… But for now, at least, some of it is washing away.
Maybe…
Just maybe…
“……Ryu.”
…I never needed to make a wish with the Box at all. Maybe I failed to see that.
After all, now I’m sure…
…my wish had already come true.
“I’m sorry, Ryu. I’m so sorry all of this happened because of me.”
My brother sacrificed himself because I couldn’t figure it out. None of this would have happened if I had only been able to love myself.
“Next time, I’ll save you.” I wipe away my tears and climb to my feet. Ryu is looking at me with a bit of surprise. “I’ll save you when you’re suffering…and I’ll be waiting for you. I’ll always be there, waiting for the day we can stand together again.”
My voice and my body are trembling, and my smile is a bit forced, but I tell him clearly.
“I’ll be waiting for you as Riko Asami.”
My brother is motionless for a moment, eyes wide in shock, but gradually, his face softens.
There’s a warmth in his eyes that wasn’t there yesterday.
“I…” He answers with a smile. “I was too late. Or that’s what I’ve always thought. But I’m beginning to get the feeling that maybe…I did make it in time.”
I’ll never be able to say that I’m glad things turned out this way. My brother and I will always hate our past, until the day we die.
But despite it, we’ve found how we can make it through.
I have no doubt of that now.
Quietly watching us, Maria Otonashi nods with a smile.
“I was able to keep my promise to Kazuki,” she whispers before her smile vanishes and she pins O with a steely glare.
“Now, hand over the Box.”
O nods, their smile never once slipping.
My Box, the Week in the Mud, will end now. O reaches a hand up to Riko Asami’s eye and touches her eyeball. I can feel it, even though I’m not the one being touched.
O digs their fingers in deep, as if they intend to pluck out the eye. Unable to bear the pain, I cry out briefly and squeeze my eyes shut. It hurts! …But while it is extremely painful, I can tell this is the way it needs to be. This is how it should be. And that’s why I endure the crushing agony in my eye.
The pain goes away, and I look at O again.
They’ve finished whatever it was they were doing.
My eye is undamaged, and O is holding a Box that resembles a small, blackened bullet in the palm of their hand.
“I wonder if this proves Kazuki Hoshino’s claim that ‘there is no despair in life that can’t be undone’?”
“……Maybe this time, at least.”
“Heh-heh… I see. I suppose that’s the only thing you can say. That statement is a denial of your very being as a Box, after all. It’s seems Kazuki has a knack for making heartless comments, too.”
With a sharp glare O’s way, Maria Otonashi roughly snatches the Box out of their hand. “Now I can go back to Kazuki. That’s all that matters.”
“Aren’t you merely delaying the inevitable? You still don’t intend to decide between being Maria Otonashi or remaining Aya Otonashi?”
“What a stupid question.” Maria Otonashi looks down at the Week in the Mud resting in her hand. She bites down hard on her lip, as if filled with loathing for the Box. “The answer to that was set in stone long ago.”
“You’re probably right.” O responds quickly with obvious disinterest.
“I am a Box.”
She releases her lip and continues, “There is no way I can ever go back to being the person I was before I became a Box.”
Her eyes are so strong.
This is the expression of the fabrication I’ve revered all this time.
“That’s why it’s better if I maintain the same personality I have had since then. If that means choosing to remain Aya Otonashi, so be it.”
“If so, then why are you still with Kazuki Hoshino?”
“…”
Silence overtakes her.
“Doesn’t that only make things more difficult for you? Wasn’t that your motivation in allowing Riko Asami to use your Box?”
“…What’re you talking about? I have no idea what you mean.”
“Heh-heh, perhaps the curse of that realm of endless repetition still hangs over you. Indeed, Kasumi Mogi would have been an exceptionally powerful foe for you.”
“……Hmph.” She examines the Box again, rolling it around in her hand. “……I was set on doing it. It didn’t take long. But then that damn Kazuki had to go and say he didn’t want me to…,” she softly whispers as sadness clouds her features for a moment.
But it’s gone in an instant. Once again, she dons the visage of the perfect creation, the one I find so utterly beautiful.
Maria Otonashi has already granted the wish of the Week in the Mud through sheer willpower alone—what’s going through her mind as she watches me and my Box?
Chewing her lip yet again, she takes one final look at the tiny bullet-shaped Box…
…and then, with a touch of sadness, crushes the Week in the Mud in her fist.
May 5 (Tuesday), 11:56 PM
There something markedly different about the way I feel when I wake up this time. My head feels oddly refreshed, like every last nook and cranny is clear. It makes me especially aware of how much “Riko Asami” took from me earlier.
I check the time on my phone.
11:57 PM.
I’m me, even though the hour of eleven PM has always been “Riko Asami’s,” since the very first day.
It’s over.
But before my emotions have the chance to wash over me, something seizes me.
“Huh?! Ah… M-Maria…?”
Is she hugging me? To be clear, this is not a gentle embrace of appreciation for my weeklong battle. It’s a powerful vise clinging to me for dear life.
“Wh-what’s gotten into you?”
She hears me but doesn’t answer.
It seems I have no choice but to stay here at her mercy for the time being. I can’t see Maria’s face.
“……Call me that name, one more time.”
“Huh?”
“Call me ‘Maria’ one more time.”
“……Okay, M-Maria.”
“……Again.”
“Maria.”
“……”
Silence.
“It’s your fault.” Maria abruptly switches gears. “Don’t get the wrong idea. I’m only with you because it allows me to meet O. There is no significance to our relationship beyond that. And yet you keep getting carried away and doing things nobody asked you to do. I went through a lot of pain this time, and it’s all your fault.”
“……I’m not sure what you’re getting at, but don’t you think that’s really mean?”
“It’s the truth, idiot,” she retorts, pushing me away.
So now she’s getting violent?
What’s more, for some reason she has a huge grin on her face.
“Now then, let’s go.”
“Huh? Where are we going?”
“What’re you playing dumb for? Yesterday, I promised you we would go out for some strawberry tarts tomorrow.”
“…Well, that’s what I said, but it’s still the fifth…”
“Check the time.”
I pull out my phone as ordered.
12:00 AM.
The date has changed.
“I know a late-night diner that has strawberry tarts. Let’s go there.”
“U-uh? That’s not the problem… Normally, when people say ‘tomorrow,’ they mean after they sleep and wake up…”
“What’re you blabbering about? Let’s get moving.” Maria grabs me by the hand.
Oh man… Maybe I shouldn’t have made that promise. Why do I get the feeling she’s going to drag me around all day tomorrow, too?
…Well, whatever.
I don’t mind at all.
As Maria leads me off, I spare a glance back at the two we left in the middle of the schoolyard.
I see a happy brother and sister, smiling and holding each other’s hands.
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