The Empty Box and Zeroth Maria
Book 1: Chapter 23

1^st Time

“I’m Aya Otonashi. Pleased to meet you.”

The transfer student smiles faintly.

Her beauty sends ripples through the other girls, and while you’d think the boys would be excited, too, they merely sit in shell-shocked silence.

I’m no different. I’ve never seen someone as attractive as her. I don’t think I could look away even if I wanted to. Our eyes meet, and her gaze draws me in with no resistance. She seems used to the reaction, and she flashes me a quick smile as we look at each other.

I feel like my head is spinning.

I’m going to fall for her, even though I know it’ll most likely never work out. She’s way out of my league. It feels like she came out of another world. I probably sound a bit weak for putting it that way, but I’m pretty sure anyone would feel the same looking at her.

“Let me start by saying the answer is no.”

The smile never leaves her face as she says all of this.

“I, Aya Otonashi, do not want you to be nice to me.”

A hush falls over the classroom.

With just a few words, she has silenced the uproar among her classmates, almost as if she cast some sort of magic spell.

“Please don’t think poorly of me. I would like to be friends with all of you, if I could. But I’m afraid that is impossible. Allow me to explain why…”

Her face grows melancholy, but she continues on in a faint voice.

“My existence as Aya Otonashi will never be anything more than an illusion.”

I don’t understand what she’s trying to say, but something about her tone makes me swallow nervously.

“We were never meant to fit together. From our respective viewpoints, we are all simply dreams. The reason why is that I am a transfer student. We aren’t acquainted, you don’t know me, and we will always return to this state in the end. I must continue to avoid forming connections with others and never entertain any thoughts of bonds. I truly am nothing more than an illusion among you. However, I take pride in my identity as an illusion. It’s also occasionally a source of pain for me. But I must accept it, for if I ever fail to do so, if the weight of being nothing more than a vision overwhelms me, then I will lose myself within this false world of repetitions.”

I can’t make heads or tails of what she’s saying, but I can tell she’s completely serious and not likely to stand for anyone making fun of her.

“I have abandoned my true name within this Box in order to become this illusion. I felt that using my real name would be a hindrance, repeatedly drawing me back to who I really am. If I fall victim to the false repetitions here, then I’m sure all of you will vanish, too.”

Her tone intensifies.

“That is why I must persist as an illusion, as Aya Otonashi.”

Ah, I get it. I don’t completely understand it all, but it feels like she isn’t actually Aya Otonashi yet. She’s going to become Aya Otonashi from this point onward.

I’m sure it’s against her will, and I’m sure it isn’t something she wants.

But regardless, she still has to assume this identity.

“I’m not strong,” she says bitterly. “There will be times when I want to complain and be weak. But if I ever do so in the course of what lies ahead, I will cease to be Aya Otonashi. So in order to ensure that doesn’t happen, I am going to voice all my weakest thoughts right here and now. I…”

A coincidence. Yeah, it has to be a coincidence, but still, right when she starts speaking, she looks at me.

“I want someone to stand beside me.”

Then she smiles at me.

“I will now introduce myself again.”

When she speaks, it sounds like she’s making the introduction to herself as much as to us.

“I am Aya Otonashi. I am pleased to meet you all, for the many times to come.”

Aya Otonashi bows deeply to the class.

Unsure of what to do, no one in the class says a word.

That’s why I start clapping.

The sound of my hands coming together resounds throughout the classroom.

Eventually, someone else joins me, and then someone follows our lead. Others join in, and the sound of the applause increases. Once we’re all clapping, she finally raises her face to look at us.

She’s no longer smiling.

She’s standing bravely, facing straight ahead with her fists clenched tight.

The deep-blue sky is clearer than I ever thought possible.

I check the date as soon as I wake up. It’s April 7. Today is April 7. I check the newspaper and TV just to make sure it really is April 7. I know there’s no meaning in reconfirming it so many times, but ever since the day I became trapped inside the Rejecting Classroom, it’s become the only way to put my mind at ease.

The events that took place within the Rejecting Classroom remain in my mind as information, but recalling those memories is like viewing pictures of me that were taken without my knowledge. The Box, Maria, O—I know who and what they all are, but they stir no emotions, no anger or sadness or anything inside me. I’m sure that’s why I’m also slowly forgetting I was once in love. The memories are all so thin and tenuous that they’re slipping through my fingers bit by bit.

I’m sure it’s the same for Maria.

We were never meant to meet in the first place, so I’m certain we won’t do so again now.

Anyway, today is April 7, the first day of school.

I’m now a second-year student.

My homeroom is on the third floor now instead of the fourth. Just being a little lower and farther to the west isn’t going to change the scenery from the window much. But when I enter classroom 2-3, the atmosphere feels completely different, and my chest tightens with elation.

My eyes land on a printout lying on my teacher’s desk, detailing the seating arrangements. I take a seat in the one assigned to me by the chart. I greet my new classmates with a gentle “Nice to meet you,” which they return in kind. Yeah, this is going to be nice.

Another face enters the classroom.

When he spots me, he raises a hand in greeting.

“Wassup, Hosshi? Looks like we’re in the same class again!”

He hasn’t said anything strange, but all fifteen of the people in the room turn to look at us.

Yep, Haruaki is as loud as ever.

“…Hey, Haruaki.”

“Huh, what’s up?”

I regard him with a suspicious look. “Is it really you?”

“…Why’re you looking at me like I could be some sort of fake? You think I have a twin brother or something? Maybe one of those super-famous manga out there has you convinced that all high school pitchers are twins!”

“…That’s not it.”

I guess it’s going to be a while before I stop suspecting Haruaki…

“By the way, Hosshi, have you heard—?”

“Hey, it’s Haru and Kazu!” A new voice cuts Haruaki off midsentence.

Kokone stands by the door of the classroom with Daiya next to her.

Did the two of them actually come to school together like friends? If I point that out, I’m sure I’ll spend the rest of the day enduring Daiya’s mental torture, so I keep my mouth shut.

“I felt my heart leap at the sound of a woman’s voice, only to find out it was just Kiri. You really know how to take the wind out of a guy’s sails!”

“What the hell type of reaction is that, Haru? Who do you think you are?”

“Yeah, well, I know you’re a big fan of mine, but I really have to draw the line at you following me to another class, you know? That’s all I was trying to say.”

“Ha! Sounds like you’re just trying to cover up the fact that you’re madly in love with me. You’re such a child. And while we’re at it, maybe you should stop filling up your phone with recordings of my oh-so-cute voice?”

“Who the hell would do that?!”

“‘Yes, Master!’ …C’mon, Haru, it’s the perfect chance to add another clip to your adorable little collection! Here, I’ll give you another. Maybe you’d like it if I said ‘Welcome home, Master!’ this time?”

I don’t know what to make of their conversation, but I do know it’s embarrassing, so I hope they’ll stop soon.

“Ugh… Hey, Kazu, you don’t have any firecrackers on you by chance, do you? I wanna light one up and throw it in Kiri’s mouth so we can have some peace and quiet.”

“Oh, look, it’s Daiya. He must be jealous because I’m giving Haru here all my finest voice samples. Don’t you worry, though. If you bow down and lick my shoes, I might just call you ‘Big Brother’ in my best little sister voice. Wow, I’m so nice!”

“Could I get you to say ‘I’m sorry for ever being born’?”

…Here I am in a new class, yet nothing has changed at all.

Still, this is exactly what I wished for.

I’m sad that Mogi and Maria aren’t here, but this is what I fought the Rejecting Classroom so hard to restore.

“…What’re you grinning at by yourself over there, Kazu? You look like a creep.”

Daiya brings everyone’s attention to me.

“Ew, he’s right! Kazu has a huge grin on his face. He must be having a little laugh to himself or is probably thinking something perverted. Yeah, I’ll bet he’s imagining what it’d be like to have a little fun with the girl sitting next to him.”

“I’m not.”

I shut that down right away. Kokone purses her lips.

“Whose seat is this, anyway? Someone I know? Someone cute?” Haruaki asks, even though he’s sitting in said seat like he owns it. I know the person’s name because I checked who would be sitting there out of curiosity while finding my own seat.

“Yeah, it’s a cute girl.”

“Really? Who?”

She has a desk here. That at least makes me happy. As long as she has a seat here, she can take it one day. Who knows? That seat may not be next to mine anymore by the time she makes it back, but that doesn’t upset me.

I smile and say the name of the one assigned to the seat next to mine.

“It’s Mogi.”