The Empty Box and Zeroth Maria
Book 6: Chapter 11

At any rate, the playing field has changed yet again thanks to Yanagi. The headache is worse, the nausea is worse, and my strength is spent, but I still have to review the current status quo.

Sitting in my theater seat, I cradle my head in my hands and think.

The situation has changed dramatically since the end of Repeat, Reset, Reset.

I have identified five major differences.

—O is no longer Kazu’s ally.

—Kazu has gained the power to crush Boxes.

—I’ve figured out the owner is Kokone Kirino.

—Kazu is coming into the Silver Screen of Broken Wishes.

—Aya will not use the Misbegotten Happiness if I use Crime, Punishment, and the Shadow of Crime to make them desperate.

These all change my conclusion. I had been thinking I could win if I could make Kazu give up. If he lost hope, he would hand over the Silver Screen of Broken Wishes, too.

That was my mistake, though. Even if Kazu did throw in the towel, I would still lose as long as Kiri held on to the Silver Screen of Broken Wishes.

On the other hand, breaking Kazu is still essential. If he has the ability to crush Boxes, I have to neutralize that power.

Here are the conditions for victory:

1. Summon the owner—i.e., Kokone Kirino—here and destroy the Silver Screen of Broken Wishes before the end of September 11.
2. Shatter Kazu’s will by making Aya use the Misbegotten Happiness, thus erasing her memory, before he can touch my chest.

What the hell? How am I supposed to accomplish all that?

For starters, how do I call Kiri here? And once I do call her here, how do I destroy her Box? How am I supposed to persuade Kiri when she’s got a Box specifically created to crush my Crime, Punishment, and the Shadow of Crime? I can’t see myself changing the mind of someone so determined in an hour and change. My only option is to find some way to destroy the Box by force.

But a way doesn’t exist, though. It’s impossible.

And while we’re at it, how do I even get Aya to use the Misbegotten Happiness? At this rate, I’m going to have to call someone who both knows Kazu and has always needed the Misbegotten Happiness. And even if I do manage to get them here, they probably won’t make the decision lightly. Kazu could destroy my Crime, Punishment, and the Shadow of Crime in the meantime. In any case, he can simply crush Boxes with just a touch to the chest.

It’s impossible.

It’s impossible for me to win as long as I can’t control Aya Otonashi freely.

“…………”

Wait.

Oh, is that what it comes down to?

There’s one sole requirement for me to come out on top.

Namely—

—make Aya Otonashi into a Subject.

I have to use Kazu’s Box-crushing power to do away with the Silver Screen of Broken Wishes. With Orders, I can even make someone commit suicide. If I tell Kazu that I’ll Order Aya to kill herself unless he smashes Kiri’s Box, he should have no choice but to do it.

What’s more, I can also force Aya to use the Misbegotten Happiness with an Order. If I wipe Aya’s memories in front of Kazu’s eyes, he’ll be a broken man.

I can meet both of my conditions for victory if Aya Otonashi becomes a Subject.

But here’s the thing.

“I could never pull that off…,” I mutter as I watch Kiri struggling desperately on the screen.

“Stop! Why are you doing this, Rino?!”

Aya Otonashi possesses a powerful will. There’s no reason she should become a Subject. It’s pointless to even think about it.

“Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!”

The life is being squeezed out of me. The cry from the speakers reaches my ears and tears away at my heart.

I try to touch my earrings, but even that is too much for me. Just extending my hand leaves me immobile with exhaustion.

Just end.

End.

End.

End.

End.

End everything.

“…Maybe…”

Maybe this is it?

Should I just give up?

Should I just give up trying to use my own body to realize my earnest wish?

“……Should I just kill them?”

Just kill Kazuki Hoshino.

And Kokone Kirino.

I can do it using my Subjects.

If I do, I’ll be rid of both the Silver Screen of Broken Wishes and the power to crush Boxes.

I know. If I go through with it, my mind won’t survive. My mind is already close to the brink as it is, so it would be shattered.

Either way, the fact of the matter is that I won’t be whole for much longer anyway. I need to find someone to pass along my cause to. I need to grant the power of a Ruler to a person capable of wielding Crime, Punishment, and the Shadow of Crime the right way.

Shindo was defeated, though. She had seemed to have what it takes to inherit my will, albeit with some slight deviations, yet she is no longer able to use Crime, Punishment, and the Shadow of Crime.

Fanatics are no good, either. They’re suited to following, not issuing orders from above. I try to conjure up some other faces, but no one who seems able to handle it correctly comes to mind.

No one has it in them to sacrifice themselves and act for the sake of the world.

They don’t exist.

That kind of person—

That kind of hope—

Someone who can carry on my cause for me—

One person.

One person, the only one I can imagine, might be even better suited to the task than I am.

The one who declared herself to be a Box and cast aside everything except for the pursuit of her mission.

Aya Otonashi.

I understand in a flash.

It feels ridiculous, like throwing a jigsaw puzzle without a single piece connected and somehow having it all come together perfectly. At any rate, it’s all so clear now.

I stand up. I’m so weak that I can’t even touch my earrings, but I don’t have time for that. Defying the force of the Silver Screen of Broken Wishes, I face Aya.

I feel so awful that saying a single word might make me vomit blood. The vertigo throws off my sense of balance, and my field of vision is askew.

All the same, my mouth lifts into a smile.

“Aya, you’ve been searching for a Box all this time. That’s why you’ve been pursuing O, pursuing owners. All so you can perfect your wish.”

Aya’s brows furrow, and she gives me a hard look.

“Everything, from your willingness to spend a lifetime in the Rejecting Classroom to the way you stuck with Kazu because O had taken a liking to him, has been so you can get ahold of a Box. You changed the entire trajectory of your life to reach this goal. Every bit of you is devoted to this mission.”

“Yeah, that’s right. What about it?”

The truth is, it’s an exercise in futility. Aya cannot obtain her ideal Box. That’s why she struggles on, ignorant of O’s true nature.

What is misbegotten will remain misbegotten.

However, only if she has to fight on her own.

What if she met a person moving in the same direction?

What if she met a kindred spirit?

“You should be happy.”

What if there just so happened to be someone in possession of a similar Box?

“Your heart’s desire is about to come true.”

I’m serious, and my earnestness reaches Aya as well. She gazes at me intensely.

“Where is it? Where is the Box I want?”

The Misbegotten Happiness and Crime, Punishment, and the Shadow of Crime are alike.

Boxes crafted of powerful emotions, yet somehow frail and cold, yet with an infinite capacity to mean more.

I have always felt they were similar.

“It’s right here.” I tap my chest. “Crime, Punishment, and the Shadow of Crime is the Box you’ve been looking for.”

Yes, if she uses this, Aya can escape from this unfeeling, misbegotten quicksand.

Her wide-eyed gaze then lowers, and she shakes her head.

“Your imagination must have really gotten away from you. Your Crime, Punishment, and the Shadow of Crime is not the Box I need. A Box that victimizes others doesn’t just conflict with my ideals—it’s the polar opposite. What happened with Yanagi is the perfect example. You can’t convince me otherwise.”

“That’s because I’m using it.”

Aya regards me again.

“You’re right that in my hands, this Box will result in some unfortunate losses for others, because this is how I’m trying to transform the world. But this power is more than the ability to create dog-people. Its original strength lies in control. No, that description paints it in a negative light. To phrase it in a way that’s more amenable to you—”

I look into her eyes shining with will and tell her:

“—it’s the power to lead.”

Aya’s gaze changes.

Yeah, I knew it. This Box is the one she’s been searching for.

“It has what you want, too, of course.”

I tell her with conviction.

“The power to lead others to happiness.”

“It can’t be—but, but……”

Though she can’t accept it logically yet, Aya has seen it.

That what I’m telling her is the truth.

That the Box she has been seeking is here.

I begin walking over to Aya Otonashi.

Naturally, the Silver Screen of Broken Wishes is keeping me sluggish. And it’s getting worse; now, with each step I make, the shadows of crime gnaw at me as if my very nerves are on fire. Unable to walk straight, I support myself against the seats as I make my way to the rear row where she is.

“—Heh-heh.”

My body is in agony, but joy swells up in my heart.

After all, I’ve finally found my long-awaited solution.

From the moment I obtained the Box, I was prepared to fall because of using Crime, Punishment, and the Shadow of Crime. I braced myself for the possibility that I would go insane in the near future, flailing and thrashing until I met my pitiful end.

This Box came into being under the assumption that someone would pick up where I left off.

But who would that be?

Maybe I understood without even being conscious of it.

I mean, wasn’t I aware that she was hope itself? I don’t know; maybe it was due to my repeated interactions with her in the Rejecting Classroom, or maybe it didn’t have anything to do with that and I simply understood her aloof nature. Either way, I’m sure I’d already identified someone capable of taking on this power when I obtained my Box.

If so, then Crime, Punishment, and the Shadow of Crime has always been—

—a Box meant to be given to Aya Otonashi.

“……Huff, huff…”

I reach Aya Otonashi’s side.

Though she’s a bit hesitant, I don’t think she’s going to bolt.

“Stand up, Aya.”

She stares at me from her chair, eyes wide.

“Stand and take the Box you’ve been searching for all this time.”

A short time passes.

But Aya does get to her feet.

She stands up, knowing what I’m going to do. Behind her, the light from the screen—has created a small shadow.

I look at her eyes. There is no doubt in them any longer.

She’s prepared herself to receive it.

“Okay.” First, I have to take her in. “Show me your crimes, Aya Otonashi!”

Then…

…I step on her shadow.

“...Ah.”

I place my foot on the shadow, and I can see crimes.

The misdeeds of Aya Otonashi…no, of Maria Otonashi.

They…

They—

I’ve collapsed.

I lost consciousness.

Did I scream, I think? No, maybe I didn’t.

I reflect on the memories I just witnessed.

These memories are not the most ugly or inhuman of all the thousand sins I’ve seen, but that doesn’t have any bearing on the agony they bring. How they appear objectively doesn’t matter; I receive the subjective suffering the person in question experienced when they committed their crimes.

That means Aya Otonashi hurt this badly back then.

It’s like being stabbed through the heart by a thousand knives, like having my eyeballs crushed by a pair of pliers, like having my fingers pulled off one by one, like having a blender taken to my innards, like having long nails driven into each and every pore on my body. And it burns. This sin has aged and matured, turned into a thick liquid like molten iron that threatens to dissolve my body and reduce me to a formless mass.

What is this?

The shaking in my hands still won’t stop. My pupils are fully dilated, and they won’t return to normal.

She’s—

She’s been holding something like this the whole time?

“……Urgh!”

I wobble to my feet and give Aya Otonashi a long look.

I have to make Aya a Subject before I grant her the power as a Ruler. In order to do that, I have to choke down this shadow of a crime.

Aya will have to come face-to-face with this guilt once again. Can she remain unaffected when she’s forced to confront it?

I have no intention of turning back, though.

There’s no time for hesitation.

“Here goes.”

I pull out Aya’s shadow of a crime, the one I took into me when I stepped onto her shadow, and swallow it.

“...Nh!”

Aya’s body goes taut, and she clutches her chest.

But that’s all. I can’t hide my amazement.

“……How are you still okay?”

Aya Otonashi is standing there impassively.

“I’m not okay.”

At a closer glance, I can see a nervous sweat rising on her face. Her teeth are clenched, biting it back. But I even passed out for a moment because of this shadow of a crime; I can hardly believe her reaction is so mild.

“How are you standing? You shouldn’t be able to take this. I know; I’ve experienced it firsthand.”

“I presume this is meant to make me recall my own crimes?” she says.

Perspiration runs down her cheeks, yet Aya still manages to turn a forceful gaze in my direction.

“Yeah, and that’s why you can’t stand suddenly having to look right at it.”

“It’s not sudden.”

“What?”

Aya releases her chest and takes a few deep breaths. You could pretty much say she’s already back to normal.

“I feel this pain constantly. It’s almost an old friend by now.”

I don’t grasp her meaning.

If I take her words at face value, though, that would imply…

What I did was to remind her of her crime. Of how she felt back then. Everyone else is able to live out their day-to-day by forgetting such pain, but what if that isn’t the case for Aya? What if she’s never let it leave her mind for even a second?

“I am always conscious of my crimes.”

This hellish torment would be not an extraordinary experience, but a familiar one. If this pain is her constant companion, then she isn’t going to lose herself just because I’m putting it in front of her.

“I’m beyond forgiveness. That’s why—”

All the same, what the hell? Is that any way for a person to live?

No…I guess I get it.

So that’s why.

“That’s why—I can’t live as a human.”

It’s the reason she was able to become “Aya Otonashi.”

She thinks of herself as a sinner at all times. By never forgetting, she is continually punishing herself.

It’s a just system of crime and punishment.

That’s what made her into something that isn’t human. Into a Box. Into “Aya Otonashi.”

Having killed herself off entirely, she has enabled herself to make a wish with single-minded purpose. To stake everything, her whole way of life, on her mission.

For the sake of a world in which everyone can find happiness.

Her determination inspires many emotions in me.

Respect. Envy. Fascination. Unspeakable admiration.

She’s the burned-out husk of an owner I will never become.

It’s for this very reason that there’s no worthier successor to my power.

Aya Otonashi.

Live on for the sake of wishes.

And you, Kazu.

I can’t ever let you have “Maria Otonashi.”

I will never allow you to crush our wishes.

“I’m going to give you my power. You’re going to inherit all the shadows of crime.”

Passing along the shadows of crime won’t have any effect on me. It won’t change my ability to Control my Subjects.

However, my most important task will be different.

My most important task is now to eliminate the power to do away with Boxes—Kazuki Hoshino, the boy with such deep influence on Aya Otonashi—and to help her persevere for the sake of our wishes.

“Are you ready?” I ask, but Aya doesn’t look at me.

She’s facing directly ahead.

“I pictured it,” she nearly whispers. “I imagined what needed to be done to lead people to happiness, and what kind of Box I would need. It’s not forcing people into a mold I’ve created. It’s not helping them avoid the hardships of reality by dumping them in some hidden paradise, either. I came to believe that having each person give thought to the form of their own bliss and then move toward that is a fully realized happiness.”

She clenches her fists tightly.

“That’s why I needed the ability to guide others,” she says, her voice rich with emotion. “To think I would find it here right in front me, after adjusting my viewpoint just a little.”

Then she finally looks at me.

“Oomine. I had thought we were nothing more to each other than two people with their eyes set on the same course. But that isn’t a small thing. That alone is enough for something like this to take place… I see—so this is what it means to be kindred spirits.”

“Kindred spirits… You’re right.”

I nod, then transfer the shadows of crime.

This reminds me of a thought I had when I passed along shadows of crime to Shindo, that maybe someone strong enough could swallow down the shadows of other people’s crimes as if it were nothing. And how if that were to happen, I would doubt my own adequacy as a Ruler.

“……Nnh.”

Aya Otonashi receives 998 shadows of crime without batting an eye.

With that, she becomes a Ruler and, in keeping with my initial plan, my 999th Subject.

“Oomine,” says the owner of Crime, Punishment, and the Shadow of Crime. “Thanks.”

But her face is like a machine, without the slightest trace of happiness.

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