The Dragon Prince's Bride -
Chapter 112. Forgive me.
Chapter 112: 112. Forgive me.
After he rose from the bed and left her, Neriah laid there for long minutes, just staring up at the ceiling. Her tears had stopped but her fear remained. The thought that he had been blinded by anger to the point where he almost took her by force, was frightening.
She could not help but wonder how in the world he had found out about Lyle. Did he send someone to follow her? Was that how he knew? He seemed so convinced that she had been with someone.
’Did he touch your face?’ He had asked... Yes.
’Did he stroke your neck?’ He had asked again... Yes.
’And your lips, he kissed them.’ That part wasn’t a question. He was certain of it. And he wasn’t wrong.
’Did he touch your breasts?’ He then asked... But the answer was a big No.
’Did he make love to you?’ She had never seen his eyes carry so much anger and pain at the same time before. She had told him the truth. She really had not done it with Lyle. She had never done that with anyone before and after him. He was the only one who had seen her naked and for once she was not lying.
But she could see the unbelief in his eyes.
He didn’t trust her.
Why did that fact make her feel weird? Was she sad or hurt about him not trusting her? If yes, then was the direction of her sadness and hurt not wrongly placed? He almost forced himself on her. He had treated her roughly, wasn’t this what she was supposed to be hurt and angry about? Why then was she more concerned by his lack of trust?
As the rain got heavier and the wind blew stronger, the fire in the hearth gradually quenched and the room seemed infinitely cold. She kicked the shoe off her left leg and pulled the cover over her naked body. She was too exhausted to rise from the bed and close the doors of the balcony, to bathe or wear anything, she just wanted to sleep. So she laid there trembling even underneath the thick blanket.
’You do not have to do a thing. All you have to do is get closer to him, learn about his schedules, the time he goes out, the time he comes in, where he goes, the amount of time he spends there. You just have to study his daily routine and report it back to me.’ Lyle’ s words rang in her head as her eyes grew heavier.
’We need that information if we are going to ambush and kill him. Poison would have been quicker, but that might somehow be turned back toward you as the culprit. So the plan is to know his every movement. Best if you can get information if he is planning any long distance travel any time soon. Striking him when he is away from home will not lead back to you. That way you can be completely free from him.’ Being free from completely, forever sounded really good when Lyle had said it to her, but now, even after his roughness toward her... she wasn’t so sure.
’ The royal family of Trago are said to be stronger than other dragons. If it is possible, learn of his weakness. Getting rid of him would come easy if we know of a certain way to destroy him.’ His weakness. She wondered if a thing like that even existed.
’ We are doing this for us, My love. So we can be together at last. Forever and ever.’
"For us," She muttered to herself and she curled as her eyes slowly closed, "To be together with the one I love. Forever and ever, away from the one I hate for all eternity." She mumbled the words. "Alright. For us."
...
By the time Barak returned to the room, he had already dried himself up using his powers, he looked and saw that the doors to the balcony were still left wide open. He could tell she was really sleeping.
He walked to the doors of the balcony and closed them. Then he moved to the hearth, bent down, tossed some wood into it and started a fire again with the snap of his fingers.
For long minutes, he just crouched there, staring at the dancing flames. The inside of his head was still a mess. He wasn’t even sure he would ever be able to sort out his thoughts. Not when they involved this wife of his.
Finally he rose from his position near the fire and walked into the closet. He changed into another loose pant and tunic then entered the room again.
Barak stood in front of her by the bed just staring at her wondering, ’was she saying the truth? Did she not lay in the arms of another man? Was the kiss all they did?’ He saw her body suddenly tremble as if cold swept through her spine anew. Goosebumps had quickly risen on the part of her shoulders that was visible above the blanket. She was looking a little pale too. Her lips were swollen, torn and dry.
He walked round the bed to the other side, and climbed onto it. On his knees, he moved closer to her, placing a hand upon her back, sending a little heat into her system. When he saw that she was looking less pale, he moved his hand and then laid down, leaving some space between them.
He was angry with her. He really was, but he was even more angry with himself too. He was determined not to hold her. But then as if to counter his own determination, she turned and as though in search of more warmth that the blanket couldn’t give her, she shifted until she rested close to him.
Her sudden closeness made him flinch, lifting both his hands up in the air like a thief that had been caught.
Barak gulped down hard as he watched her forsake the blanket that was supposed to be her shield against the cold and nestled next to him instead. Again she adjusted and curled her body against his and he felt like she was silently telling him to hold her, which he desperately didn’t want to do because he was supposed to be angry at himself, at her.
Again and again, he tried to focus on his breathing and not the woman next to him, his hands still hanging high in the air.
Holding her would defeat the entire purpose of being angry.
But then he stared down at the little creature beside him, naked and trembling again in her sleep. He could not help that thing in him that wanted to protect her. That urge to be her shield from any and everything outweighed his determination to stay away from her.
He could not stop his hands that slowly wrapped around her body, pressing her chest close to his, lovingly stroking some heat back into her system.
"You are one wicked woman, do you know that?" He whispered as he pulled the blanket over the two of them. "The most wicked thing that I have ever come across."
"You are little yet you torment me so." He stroked her hair and moved thin tendrils from her face. "Sometimes I fear you more than I fear my opponents on the battlefield." He sighed as he stroked her arm, sharing his heat with her. "They cannot do what you do to me... Torture me emotionally, mentally and physically too." He laughed to himself as though he had made a really funny joke and then the laughter died just as sudden as it had left his lips.
"I know this is not an excuse for what I did, but I know not where your lies end and your truth begins." He sighed and continued talking as if she was actually listening. "But of course that does not justify what I did. I chose to marry you already knowing you were a sweet liar so I should not have gotten so angry. I should have controlled myself." He sighed deeply again. She stirred in his arms and he set the blanket over her again.
"W_what I am trying to say is, I_ Forgive me..." He pressed her in his arms and tenderly pressed his lips upon the center of her head.
"Forgive me, Spitfire... Forgive this husband of yours for being a barbarian." He kissed her head again. "I was blinded by anger for a moment. I was a fool. Forgive me."
He had thought over it again and again while he walked to the amethyst lake, while he was at the lake and while he was returning. And he had come to the conclusion that even though she had been in the arms of another man, lie or truth, he had handled the situation poorly. He had behaved badly. He was wrong to do what he did. He had accepted his fault.
"I shall try... I shall do all I can to possess all of you. So forgive me this one time."
While she slept, Barak poured his heart to her, begged for her forgiveness and made a promise to her. Although she slept and couldn’t hear a thing, he was surely going to keep that promise.
He was not going to lose her to another. He was going to save his marriage one way or another... as for her lover, whoever he was, he better pray he never learnt of his identity.
"I want you. To the point that it drives me to madness."
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