The Dragon King's Hated Bride
Chapter 52: Can’t I?

Chapter 52: Can’t I?

>>Aelin

The library felt quieter than usual, the sunlight streaming through the tall windows casting golden patterns on the floor. I leaned against the edge of the window after I had grabbed a book and went to look for a place to sit, my gaze drifting downward to the palace garden below.

My heart did a tiny flip when I saw a certain someone there, walking through the stoneroad between the two gardens, his thick black leathery tail slithering behind him.

Draegon was there, his tall figure was impossible to miss as he walked through the garden paths.

My gaze wandered to the garden. A few female demon nobles were scattered around the white party table, their attention inevitably drawn to him as he walked by, minding his own business.

My eyes lingered on him for longer than I intended. There was an intimidation in his aura and even the other demons had noticed it but unlike me who got scared, they were thrilled.

Staring at his back, I found myself wondering: why had he given me a maid?

The thought nagged at me. I was used to doing things alone by now, fending for myself, even in a palace full of people who barely acknowledged me. Sure, the maid—Uriel—was helpful, but it still felt... strange. What went through his mind for him to get me a personal servant?

I noticed that it’s not even a thing here among demons.

As I kept my eyes on him, my mind strayed to Ruoxy. To the words she’d spat at me, and the cruel truths buried in them. Whatever her intentions had been, she wasn’t entirely wrong.

Draegon was a dragon—a creature of power. Could he ever truly want someone like me? A human who couldn’t even satisfy him in bed the way a demon could? My cheeks burned as my thoughts wandered to that night—our wedding night.

He’d been big then, overwhelming in every sense of the word. But now, after the war, he’d grown even larger, more imposing.

A part of me feared the answer to my own question.

He couldn’t leave me because of the truce. That much I knew. But what if he found someone else? Someone he genuinely liked. Someone who wasn’t bound to him by politics and treaties and of course, manipulation.

My heart sank as I watched him pause in the garden.

One of the noblewomen approached him—a succubus.

The moment I saw her, tall tan, and sexy figure move, my stomach churned. Her deep crimson dress clinging to her like a second skin had a deep cut in the design of a wavelength reaching up to her belly. I could see her belly button and the golden ring on it. Her black horns were small and shot straight up and there was a slit on her dress too, from the end to her knee.

Looking at her made me feel flustered, I couldn’t imagine how much impact she had on men.

I gulped as I glanced back at Draegon.

How much impact did she have on him?

Succubi were infamous for their charm, their ability to ensnare anyone who so much as glanced their way. No human could resist them.

I wonder, how different is it for demons? I mean, some of it must work on demons too, considering succubi live here and thrive, they must be getting a lot to be happy here.

The succubus smiled at Draegon, her posture oozing confidence as she spoke to him. My chest tightened, an uncomfortable ache spreading through me. I wonder what he thinks of her? She’s tall. About 5’11, maybe a bit more. Standing next to Draegon she didn’t look like a child. As a matter of fact, most demons didn’t...

But I do... I looked down in shame

But I hated how small I felt in that moment, how easily my mind spiraled into doubts and fears.

Was this what it would always feel like? Watching him from a distance, wondering if I’d ever truly have him?

Can’t I have him?

...

Should I?

I bit my lip, my fingers gripping the windowsill as I tried to push it away. But it lingered, stubborn and persistent.

Could I? Could someone like me ever have someone like him? I’m not alluring, or beautiful, I don’t compare to the pretty demons. Even Ruoxy was far more charming than me.

Was this going to be the cruel irony of our arrangement—that I would always be bound to him, but never truly his?

He’s nicer to me than all the others. Even though he’s terrifying in his own way, he’s my husband... right? He even protected me in the dungeon.

The memory of him shielding me flashed in my mind. His immense strength, his power... and the way his presence alone had felt like a fortress around me. It made my heart feel heavy and light at the same time.

He also dealt with the demons who mistreated me.

But am I being selfish? Is it too rude for me to think that he’d be okay with me, someone so... different from him? He’s a dragon prince, a warrior, a war hero. What am I in comparison? A human princess—fragile, breakable, unremarkable...

I hugged my arms to myself, trying to shake off the doubt creeping into my chest. My gaze drifted back to the garden below, but it was a bad idea.

The sight only made my stomach churn more.

More demons—more women—gathered near him now. They all seemed to gravitate toward him, their sharp beauty and otherworldly allure making me feel like I didn’t belong.

I noticed the succubus from before laugh at something he said, leaning slightly toward him, her crimson lips curving into a coy smile as she subtly touched his shoulder. The sight was like a punch to the gut. My chest tightened, and I felt a sudden wave of shame for how deeply it hurt.

I shouldn’t feel this way.

But I couldn’t help it.

Before I knew it, my feet had already started moving. I turned away from the window, unable to bear the sight any longer.

I walked down the quiet corridor, my footsteps echoing against the walls. The ache in my chest didn’t fade, and my thoughts swirled in a tangled mess.

He’s my husband. He’s been kind to me when no one else has. He doesn’t have to be, yet he is. And still...

Why does it feel like he’s so far away?

***

The quiet of the room was all-encompassing as I sat on the bed, staring at the book in my lap, trying to lose myself in its pages. The words blurred together as my thoughts wandered back to the garden earlier that day. The ache in my chest had yet to subside, and I found myself clutching the edge of the book tightly, wishing I could just stop feeling so... small.

The sheer size of Draegon always ends up scaring me, but I also can’t stop thinking about wanting him. I know it’s stupid, to be afraid of someone yet also want him. I don’t want to be afraid, but the things that have happened between us run through my mind, evoking those emotions.

And yet again, the ways he protected me, evoke emotions of want.

I am troubled by these feelings of confusion. I placed my hand on the open page, softly caressing it downward.

I want to do better...

There was a soft knock on the door but before I could register it and answer I heard the door creak open.

!!!

I looked up, startled, and my breath hitched.

Draegon stepped inside, his tall frame seeming even more imposing in the dim light of the room. He looked... different. Tired, perhaps, but not in the way humans did. There was something in his eyes—something heavy, unreadable.

I froze, unsure of what to do as he quietly closed the door behind him and approached me. He didn’t say anything, just came to sit on the bed beside me.

I felt the mattress dip under his weight, and my heart pounded in my chest.

!!!!

I got nervous.

Is he here for me? Are we... are we going to spend the night together?

I couldn’t bring myself to look directly at him. My cheeks burned at the thought, and my hands clutched the book tightly as I tried to calm the storm of emotions swirling inside me.

But then another thought crept in, one I couldn’t ignore. What if I’m not enough for him? He’s so much bigger, so much stronger... what if I can’t satisfy him?

Again...

What if he realizes I’m not what he wants and abandons me? That’s probably what happened the first night. I was in so much pain that night, as if I could do anything for him.

Draegon’s deep voice broke the silence, pulling me out of my spiraling thoughts.

"The meeting with Havenmoore has been arranged," he said, his tone steady but firm. "It will take place in the city near the border."

I blinked, processing his words, "Oh..."

"And you will be coming with me." He said

Two shocks hit me at once, leaving me reeling. My eyes went wide in disbelief. I slowly turned my head to look at him, my heart racing for an entirely different reason now.

I’m going with him? I thought I could avoid it if it was an official meeting but he wants me to go with him?

I’m going to meet my brothers again? Are both of them going to be there? If it’s going to be one, I hope it’s not Reagan

The thought sent a wave of fear crashing over me. I hadn’t seen Reagan since I was sent here. What would he say? What would he think of me now?

But then, as his words fully registered, a second realization struck me, just as he stood up to leave.

"You’re leaving?" I asked as he began to walk towards the door.

"Yes," He replied without looking back, "I have a few things to do."

"Oh..." I looked down

So he wasn’t here for me.

The anticipation that had been building in my chest crumbled, leaving behind a hollow ache. I lowered my gaze to the book in my lap, unable to meet his eyes.

So... maybe he doesn’t want me after all...

The thought echoed in my mind, but I couldn’t bring myself to word it out. The words rested on the tip of my tongue till they drowned out.

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