The Demon Lord's Bride (BL)
Chapter 587: My child is my child and nothing else

Chapter 587: My child is my child and nothing else

Mother always had this kind, serene look on her face—the kind of face you would expect to see on any mother facing their child. A generous smile on her lips, and the smell of sunshine and flowers reminded you of happy times in life.

That was Mother. That was how I always remembered her.

But at that moment, she had a sad look on her face. A slight frown, downturned eyes tinged with guilt, and no smile was on her lips. Just a straight line, pressed stiffly.

"Am I delusional?!" I screamed, because I was more angry than scared at that point.

She looked at me with a sigh and closed her eyes. "...No, you’re not."

I had been questioning myself over and over again on the way, to the point of almost believing that I was the crazy one.

What if I was the crazy one? What if, like Natha said, I was just imagining things? What if this was just me going crazy and being delusional?

I was so terrified and tired of my own mind, with no one to tell me whether I was right or wrong. Naturally, asking my companions would be useless because our bond would make them think that what I saw and thought was the truth.

But when I found the answer, I couldn’t even feel relieved.

Hah! Should I laugh? Should I cry? Should I feel happy that it wasn’t just my hunch?

No. I feel even more terrified.

Clenching my fists tightly, I used the energy of the fury I felt. "Did you know?"

"I have an inkling," she nodded solemnly.

And what...what should I do with this feeling of betrayal?

It wasn’t just coming from the man I vowed to love for the rest of my life, but also the one entity I thought would always be the mother I never had.

I didn’t know when, but when I realized it, I was already on the ground, crouching and curling myself. My face was between my knees, and a hot lump in my throat as I tried my best to hold back my tears and scream felt burning; unbearable.

I had no idea what to react to knowing I was nothing but a tool.

For a while, I was just crouching there, sucking back the tears before they dripped onto the grass, hacking and wheezing as my heart, once again, felt like they were torn and broken.

This garden had always felt like a safe space.

Not now.

When I felt like I was about to collapse, I was enveloped in a warm embrace. Flinching, I almost broke away and fled, but this vulnerable heart carved a little bit of support and protection. Even if it came from the hands of someone I could no longer trust.

At least...at least Mother did not wish to keep Shwa for her own. She just didn’t tell me that the Demon God might harbor such intention.

Which still angered me so much, but I could at least take her hug.

It didn’t matter if it was merely justification on my part, but I really needed some support at that time.

Gently, she stroked my head and patted my back rhythmically as if creating a lullaby. Despite my palpable anger and slight rejection, her touch was full of warmth and affection. The touch of a mother I wish I could experience.

"An’Hyang...has always been the one with the most intense emotion among us," she started to speak when my breathing was stabilized.

Was she trying to justify the Demon Lord’s intention? Still, I was exhausted and the embrace felt nice, so I just stayed still and listened wordlessly.

"He was complex even before we assumed divine duty. If I have to say it bluntly..." she paused, letting out a long sigh filled with nostalgia. "Yes, he just loved the Primordial One the most."

...I knew. I could see that from the way he talked about the Primordial One.

There was always a sense of reference, just like how Natha and the other demons acted toward the Demon God and the Demon King. He demanded more respect toward the Primordial One than toward himself, down to the name I should use.

That love and respect probably grew so much and turned into fanatical worship. But once the Primordial One was gone, that emotion turned into obsession.

"Love, obsession...I don’t think they are bad emotions. He always wanted to do the best for the Primordial One, even after we were left behind," Mother continued with a sad tone.

For Mother, the Primordial One was a parent and a friend. She wanted that friend to be happy, and for that, the soul should not go through the same things it experienced before. Living a normal life like any other mortal, without remembering the agonizing past life--Mother’s wish was probably the same as me.

But she wasn’t the only child left behind.

Biting my lips, I tried to suppress my emotional side and came out more rationally. "Was he the one who made the plan to birth the vessel through our union?" I asked.

"Yes."

Right--the Demon God was the one who sent Natha to me. All of his steps, including making a trial for me to make sure I really had what it took to bear the vessel, checking up on me to take a look at the soul and the flower...

Everything was done for the Primordial One.

"Valen, my child," Mother rubbed my cheek gently, as if messaging it. I realized then that I was tensing so much while thinking about the Demon God. She smiled sadly while continuing. "Please don’t hate him too much."

I should be angry--yeah, I wanted to get angry. What do you mean I shouldn’t hate him too much? But that voice, and that helpless expression...it was something I sometimes saw back in the Lord’s Castle.

Right--I saw such an expression in Malta’s eyes when the twins didn’t listen to her, made some trouble, or bickered.

She let out a sigh before speaking again. "Haa...that An’Hyang did not think of doing this with bad intentions. In his mind, he probably thinks the best place for the vessel to be is by his side," she smiled wryly. "In the security of his Sanctuary."

My eyes narrowed. "He is not a vessel."

I scooted back and freed myself from her. While she was still blinking in surprise, I stood up and stepped further away, clenching my fists.

"He is my child. Our child. We named him Navardhi. We called him Shwa," I looked at her sharply, perhaps even glaring.

I couldn’t care less if she got angry after this, though. I did not compromise--I did not want to compromise--if it came to him.

"He’s gentle and not fussy; he laughs when others laugh, and he always knows I’m coming even before seeing me," my heart swelled and that hot lump climbed to my eyes, blurring them with unshed tears. But I gritted my teeth and continued. "He has my eyes, but he curled his eyes the way Natha did. He is only ten days old, but he has a very strong kick, and he’ll grip almost anything that comes close to him."

It wasn’t even a day since I left him behind, but my heart was already so, so painful at the thought of him. I wanted to hold him, gaze into his clear eyes, and hear his adorable giggle.

Because he was my child. He was born from our heart--the fact that fate played a role in it was insignificant.

"Mother..." I stared at the Goddess who looked at me with a deep gaze. "He is my child, not a vessel for some Higher Being."

I gripped the side of my robe, trembling from both fear and fury. I was in a divine abode, and with a simple gesture, she could erase me from existence. Shwa was already born; I had no leverage anymore; no use. But on this matter alone, I would fight even the God and the Goddesses that had sent me to this world in the first place.

For a while, Mother did not move, nor did her face give any hint of what she was thinking. And I stayed there, silently, gripping my clothes in fear and bravado, until she closed her eyes and stood up slowly.

My legs flinched as my brain told me to run away--or at least put on a defensive stance. But I was frozen; and in that frozen state, Mother smiled apologetically.

"Forgive me," she said, with a gentle and kind gaze that I had been so familiar with. "Of course, he is your child," she walked closer and held me in a calming, soft embrace, before repeating firmly. "He will always be your child."

This time, I didn’t want to put on pretense or act strong, because she was the Mother I always wanted. Perhaps, this was also an influence that she had upon those with druid lineage, but I could take it if it meant acknowledgment.

That my child was first and foremost, my child.

"Mother," I buried my face in her shoulder and gripped her clothes. I wanted to trust again. "Will you help me?"

* * *

When I stepped out, I realized it was already night--a late one for that matter. Hours had already passed, but it was better than days, I guessed.

The plaza was still empty, and the librarian was still there. Did she wait the whole time? She bowed politely as I emerged and asked with a smile. "Did your talk go well, my Prince?"

"I think so..."

"I’m glad," she nodded.

Well, perhaps she could see it from my expression. I reckoned that compared to when I first arrived, my complexion was better when I came out of the Tree. But then, I felt like something was missing, and only when I heard a loud chirp did I realize Jade wasn’t there.

[Papa!]

"Jade?"

Still in the little bird form, Jade swooped down from the night sky, bearing a piece of news that widened my eyes in shock.

[Papa!] Jade frantically flapped the colorful wings while hovering in front of me. [Papa, Jade feel Natha!]

"What?"

[Natha in the forest now!]