The Demon Lord's Bride (BL)
Chapter 40: It’s not as easy as I thought, being greedy

Chapter 40: It’s not as easy as I thought, being greedy

I tried to speak as much as I could then, focusing my mind on a conversation with Zia as we continued walking through the streets and more stalls were opened, showing me more and more fantasy set-up things like melee weapons and armor, even discounted magic scroll.

When I was tired of pushing words out of my mouth, I asked her to explain as many things as she could, especially those that only occurred in the demon realm.

With the sun climbing higher, I began to spot more and more ’foreigners’—children of nature that were technically my kin. Most of them were drows; dark elves, since they had closer ties to the demons. Dwarves and fae too, those that liked to do commerce, as well as some adventurous elves. Some of them looked at me with raised brows and surprised in their eyes, perhaps something to do with how druid was supposed to be a recluse tribe nowadays.

I came across more of them when we reached a plaza that sold magic artifacts, scrolls, and books. I heard that despite their isolated nature, they were a bunch of curious races, so that was probably why.

And Zia, even though she didn’t have much interest in anything else, immediately ran out while dragging me toward a stall that sold old romance books. Fortunately, the stall next to it had titles that I actually could digest, like books about cultures and history and—

I stared at what seemed like an old book, probably a biography of some sort, with a title containing the name I was so familiar with.

Why...did everything—everything just remind me of him?

My arms already reached out before my mind even comprehend it, taking the book between my hands.

"You want that one?" Zia suddenly peeked out from the next stall, peering over my shoulder and exclaimed. "Oh, that’s rare!"

"Rare?"

Zia leaned closer to my side and whispered in a serious tone. "Lord Cousin doesn’t really like people writing books about him," she tapped her chin as if contemplating, before adding with a shrug. "But once in a while, there’s always one or two..."

I looked at the book again, which was clearly talking about Natha, although looking at the publication date, it seemed like the content was written before he became Demon Lord. It talked more about him as a successful expatriate and climbing the realm of greed’s wealth rank.

"Why he approved this one?"

"Hmm...what was it again?" Zia put her fingers on her temple, as if trying to extract some kind of buried information. As expected, she only had superb memory when it was about the content of romance novels. That being said, she soon clapped her hands together. "Ah, because it talked more about the business step he take to the top rather than digging into his past...I think?"

"His past..." suddenly, I was reminded of the notebook securely hidden in his office cabinet, remembering the content of his bitter past.

"No one really knows his early life," Zia started to mutter an explanation. "I heard from my father that after he was summoned by the Their Majesty, all manner of his past was being obscured—you know, like he was under protection or something like that."

After he was summoned by the Demon King...

That notebook that I read ended right before that event, which meant...could I say that I was one of, probably, the very few people who knew about his past? That massacre, that madness, that...that unfair treatment...

"I see..."

Ah. As I clutched the book tightly, I realized why I had been feeling so pathetically miserable today.

I wanted to see him.

"But—but I’m sure he’ll tell you if you ask him, Val," Zia tilted her head to look at me, her curly ponytail bouncing with her movement. But contrary to her energetic hair, her purple eyes were filled with anxiety.

Why? Did I look that...miserable? So much that she thought it was worrying?

I could feel her fingers on the sleeve of my outer coat, tugging, as if trying to anchor me to the ground. "You know...that he loves you very much...right?"

Ah. I...didn’t think I could do this. Keeping a straight face.

But I also had no idea what my face was like right now. For a few seconds, I felt those cold and hot feelings roaming my nape and crawling my spine.

No. I had no idea. I had no idea whether he loved me...or Valmeier.

And I had no confidence to proudly say that it was me, the one who spent more time with him than Valmeier, who mercilessly stabbed him with the spear embedded inside my left palm.

It struck me again—those doubt and greed. Those ugly, horrible feelings.

"V-Val? Umm...umm..." Zia flailed her hand in front of me, as if panicking, which woke me up from my drowning state. She looked at Angwi with flustered eyes, but I moved before our guardian maid could enter the stall.

"Ah, I’m sorry," I patted her hair to stop her frantic movement, and shifted my gaze to the bewildered seller. "I would like to buy this, please," I put a stack of books in front of the seller, and slipped the one about Natha in the middle, waiting for the confused but happy seller to wrap it up.

I put the books inside the dimensional pocket Natha gave us, and took Zia out, who was still staring at me with concern in her eyes.

"Let’s go," I pulled on her hand, and just walked out of the market under Angwi’s inquisitive stare.

Zia just followed me quietly after that, no longer saying anything. For a while, we just walked aimlessly in silence. I had no knowledge of the road, and had no particular objective in mind. But both of them still followed me without question, and it just made me feel even more pathetic and miserable.

God—why did I have to go and sour the mood?

Perhaps I should have just stayed at the townhouse. Then I wouldn’t have to drag these two into my own tumultuous temper.

Truly...what a spoiled man you had become, Val.

I stopped walking then, staring hard at the pavement, feeling like a lump forming in my throat.

"Val...are you really alright?" Zia pulled on my listless arm. "We can go home if you’re tired—"

"No," I cut her, and wanted to continue walking, but my legs felt like lead. Fortunately, we were near a park, so I moved my feet there, eyes fixed on one of the empty benches.

"Are you su—"

"I have nothing to do anyway. It’s kind of..." I shrugged, and then found it hard to say the word. Lonely? Would it make sense to say I felt lonely when I wasn’t even alone?

Wasn’t it terribly childish of me, to miss someone when I just saw him last night? When I just spent the last couple of days glued to him?

So I just close my mouth and sat on the bench, staring at a bunch of kids playing around with animal-shaped balloons. The sound of their laughter filled the park and the streets.

Yeah...festival should be enjoyed like that, right? Not with those concerned eyes inside Zia’s eyes, or the stern expression on Angwi’s face.

"I’m sorry," I turned my face to both of them, making sure there was a smile on my face. "I’m kind of...ruining the mood, right?"

"Val?" Zia tilted her head with a frown.

I pressed my lips and kept the smile—it wasn’t that hard, since it was something that I used to do in my previous life. Mood was something contagious, and one person’s sour mood could influence the whole group. If I showed how upset I was, other people could become upset too; my guardian, the exhausted nurses, the tired doctors...

I’d rather people don’t care than be upset because of me. Because then...they might be upset at me too. And this was supposed to be an exciting holiday for Zia, and even though she didn’t show it blatantly, Angwi had been enjoying her break from the tower’s housekeeping.

So it wasn’t right for me to have them carry this unreasonably upsetting atmosphere along with me.

"I’m just a bit tired, but we don’t have to go back. Why don’t I just wait here while you—"

"Liar," Zia narrowed her eyes and looked at me sternly, lips pressed and brows taut. "You don’t have to tell me about the reason, but don’t lie about feeling alright."

I blinked at her chiding, and the lump in my throat came up even more, as if choking me. My eyes darted to the ground, and I could see the way my fingers fidgeting involuntarily.

She said I didn’t have to, but could I really...say it? These selfish, greedy feelings? I lifted my gaze, and they fell on the playing children. One of them fell and lost their grip on the balloon.

I looked at my hand then, remembering the cold sensation of his skin, the feeling of my grip on his clothes as he held me last night. I rubbed the glove on my hand, tracing the brand beneath it.

"I just...I don’t want him to go," my eyes followed the floating balloon and the kid trying to reach out for it. "I want to spend more time..."

I wanted to be with him longer. I want my eyes to be able to see the deep silver eyes whenever I felt shaken. I want to feel his presence when I felt doubts.

Because...

Because I had no idea when this opportunity that had been handed to me would float away, out of my reach.

Because suddenly, I was gripped with terrible fear.

When he realized I wasn’t Valmeier...would he still hold me? Would he still say he wouldn’t abandon me?

It was then that I realized; even if it was something that stemmed from the fact that he looked like my first love, even if this erratic heartbeat was triggered by a false memory...

The fact still stands; that the one I yearned for, right now, was Natha, and no one else.