The Demon Lord's Bride (BL)
Chapter 348: It’s easier once you accept that you’re not special

Chapter 348: It’s easier once you accept that you’re not special

Kids...in real life, spirit and passion are not enough for success.

"It’s so hard..."

I almost cry. I really almost cried. We didn’t stop trying except to have lunch, which Angwi brought to the cliff. We even skipped teatime and snack time! But to the end, I still drifted away after a while, even though I tried hard to concentrate and always think of the ground beneath my sole, about Jade, about Zia, about Natha...

Ugh. Actually, I always started to drift off when I thought about Natha, because I always thinking of going over to the Lord Castle. Should I stop thinking about him, then? But...my mind always drifted to him automatically.

Haa...was this because I missed him?

Damnit! Now it just made me even sadder!

[Don’t be sad, Master! Master can do it!] my cheek was poked and nuzzled by a fluffy head, and I pulled Jade for a hug as I lay on the couch, lamenting my incompetence.

"Jade is right," Amarein patted my head. "It’s just your first day, Valen. Do you think young druids master the elemental mana on their first try? It took them months and years."

"Mm..." I let out a long sigh. Of course, I wasn’t vain enough to expect I would suddenly master everything automatically just because I had a teacher now. But it was just...so frustrating not being able to feel any improvement.

Well...there was one improvement, I think; I was no longer spreading my consciousness all over the place.

But it didn’t improve my ability to stay rooted, so I was still disappointed. After all, wasn’t the biggest problem with this to prevent me from drifting away? Also...

"But you go home tomorrow..." I looked up at Amarein. We would keep the lesson tomorrow, but she would get back in the evening. "And you won’t come back for ten days."

She chuckled and brushed my hair away from my face, probably because she wanted to look at me clearer. "Why are you in such a rush, Valen? You only learned how to do it last year--by yourself, even. You’re already fast by our standard."

I shifted and raised myself to sit on the couch, still hugging Jade close to my chest. "...really?"

"Let me tell you something," she beckoned me over and I scooted closer, listening keenly while kneeling on the couch. "Not all druids know how to control all elemental mana. Most dedicated themselves to master only one type all their life."

My eyes blinked and widened. There was no such distinction in the book of druids that I found in the library. Well...there wasn’t much written about them in the first place.

"It’s not rare for druids to master all elemental mana, but mostly, they achieved that after years--if not decades--of intense training," she said while reaching out to caress my cheek. "But you’re only learning to do it...what? Half a year? Slightly more?"

"Slightly more..."

"And this is the first time you do it with proper guidance," her caressing hand turned into a pincher. "You’re already so amazing by standard, so stop feeling down just because you can’t do something instantly. How would the other young druids who are struggling to start even after they tried for months, hmm?"

"So-sowwy!"

I apologized immediately, even though I couldn’t speak well due to her fingers pinching my cheek. She patted and rubbed my reddened cheek, smiling with a mischievous glint in her eyes that told me she was just teasing me.

Well, but she was right. It was very ignorant and ostentatious of me to feel down from a single failure--which wasn’t really a failure, honestly; just a slow improvement.

I nodded and sighed, leaning into the backrest as I looked at Amarein and stroked the little bird on my arm. "Then...why is it easier for me to absorb the forest’s elemental mana?"

"I would say compatibility," she said, taking the tea that the golem maid just poured for us. "You used to live in the mountain surrounded by forest until your coming of age, no?"

"Oh..."

"But from what you told me about your experience, you were also almost ’drifting away’ that first time."

"Huh?"

She smiled and sipped her tea before giving me further explanation. "Didn’t you say you stayed still until late at night?"

"Oh! You mean..."

"I guess something outside your system was calling for you at that time--perhaps a guard? Or your familiar?"

"Ah..." I did recall Doun was there. I did not remember hearing his voice, but perhaps he had been trying to wake me up.

"If there was no one, and you were left alone, you might become one of the trees," she said, the nonchalant tone actually made what she said feel more eerie.

Jade gasped and jumped to my shoulder, suddenly hugging my neck. [No! Master can’t be tree!]

"I won’t, I won’t..." I patted my frightened little bird, trying to ignore how much my heartbeat increased because of this.

Truly...I had been so close to death--well, one shape of it--more times than I thought. I could no longer blame Natha for being paranoid for my sake because it seemed like I truly had no survival instinct whatsoever.

"But it seemed like you’re already passed that phase--perhaps because your compatibility is good," Amarein told me reassuringly. "So you don’t have to worry."

"You hear that, Jade? You don’t have to worry," I told the little bird, who still had its face buried in my neck, being curtained by my hair.

[Master need to be careful!]

"I know," I chuckled and held the little bird in my arms again. Damn, Val--even your baby scolded you. "Well, I understand now. I won’t do things recklessly again."

I knew I promised this every time, but I really, really meant it this time, okay?

"Good," Amarein patted my head and stood up. "But let’s refill your energy first--seems like dinner is ready."

[Jelly!]

Oh, Jade had revived.

* * *

The next day, I still had my training on the cliff, because how could I use Vrida as an anchor if I couldn’t even use the ground as one?

And no--I haven’t succeeded.

But I did manage to hone the control over my consciousness, narrowing the trajectory to a single lane. Of course, before my mind wandered again and the lane, it scattered.

Oh, well.

"Try to work on your concentration while I’m gone," Amarein gave me some advice. "It seems like that is your biggest enemy."

I could only smile sheepishly. Indeed. Perhaps I should ask Eruha about this. Amarein proceeded to take out a scroll and put it in my hand.

"This is an advanced version of the breathing exercise I gave you the last time. Try this, and perhaps it’ll help with your concentration too."

"Oh, thank you!" I held the scroll carefully before putting it inside the storage ring so I could hug her. "Thank you, Aunty."

I felt her hand patting the back of my head gently. Jade also flew over to nuzzle her cheek, and we walked her to the garden, where the bird from the day before yesterday swooped in. She reached out her hand to touch the bird and in the next second, she vanished, as if getting absorbed, and the bird flew away in the direction of the realm of nature.

"Wow..."

[Wow...]

"Can we do that in the future, Jade?"

[Master and Jade?] the little bird gasped and chirped excitedly. [Master and Jade became one?]

"Sounds fun, right?"

[Fun!!]

We walked inside while giggling happily. "Well, I still need to master the basics first before we can attempt fusion."

[Master can do it!]

"Thank you, Jade!"

"Oh, you don’t look down anymore!" Zia welcomed me inside, and we rode the elevator together to our respective floors.

"Well, I accept that results can’t be instantaneous," I shrugged.

Zia grinned and wrapped her arms around mine after patting me on the head. "It’s good. You ate fewer snacks because you’ve been so busy."

"But I got hungry a lot," I looked down and patted my stomach. "It took up energy and my body wants compensation."

"Regular meals are fine. It’s the sweets that you need to avoid," Zia shook her head, and then lowered her voice to a whisper. "I was told that it’s hard to burn the weight you gain from sugar."

"Is that so?" I whispered back. "Well...anyway, I still need to have regular exercise from tomorrow onward."

"Don’t worry, Mr. Bride--I’ll help you!"

I raised my brow and glanced at the succubus. "You’ll exercise with me too?"

Zia made a horrific face. "No? I’ll just drag you to the training ground!"

"But Zia...you wake up later than me."

She coughed and scratched her neck awkwardly, mumbling how she could wake up early if she wanted to. I laughed and ruffled her hair just as the elevator door opened and Zia ran out to her room in embarrassment, leaving me and Jade giggling all the way to the upper floor.

We returned to the suite and I took out the scroll from the storage ring. Before changing into my nightshirt and going to sleep, I wanted like to take a look at the method and see if I could try it right away.

I knew I just had a whole day of training, but honestly, I was worried about the time. Natha said he wouldn’t let me attempt the conceiving until I had approval from Amarein and D’Ara, and the way things had been going with my lesson, I was worried I wouldn’t get the approval this year.

What if we had to look for another site because of it? Or worse...

What if Shwa lost the time?

The voice I heard was that of a child, sometimes...felt even younger than Jade. It was clear that the soul was regressing, and without a vessel, it might keep regressing until...

I shook my head, trying not to think of the worst possibility. Anyway, I couldn’t say it yesterday, but that was the reason why I became so impatient. I was worried that we wouldn’t have years to spare.

So I spread the scroll with determination to learn it immediately.

Or so I planned, before I heard a knock on the balcony door, and I saw Heraz through the window.