The Demon Lord's Bride (BL)
Chapter 235: Respecting yourself is just as important as respecting others

Chapter 235: Respecting yourself is just as important as respecting others

The water was cold. And I mean ice cold, even though it was definitely not frosting. The cold was seeping through my clothes and spreading on my skin, so even my dry upper body shuddered from it.

And I was saying this as someone who was contracted to a Salamander.

And no, I didn’t feel the effect of our contract got severed. I still could feel the magic fighting this cold from within, so I wondered what it would be like if I didn’t have that contract with Ignis.

I was so going to buy him fire elemental stones.

And it wasn’t just the temperature that attacked me. You know how we would run and try to move faster in general when it was cold? Yeah...I couldn’t do that.

It was after I walked for two meters, I think? When the water came up to my thigh, and it was so cold I was clattering and wanted to run across so badly, but I felt like walking through a really thick mudfield.

Obviously, I had never run through a mudfield before, but Valmeier had, and it was almost like that, only harder. The lake water was still water though, clear and transparent. But it felt like I had a magnet for shoes, and I walked on top of an iron bed. My steps got halted a lot, and I almost stumbled when I tried to forcefully pull my legs from the bottom.

So I stopped and took a deep breath. Yeah, this was a trial, wasn’t it? It was a test, so of course it wouldn’t be easy.

Immediately after, I ran my mana through my circuits, my whole body. Especially, I pooled the mana on my legs, circulating them faster and faster there which got so much easier now that my gate was completely unblocked. Thanks to that, my legs felt much lighter. Now it was no longer like walking on a bed of iron using magnetic shoes, but just walking on a muddy field--not a thick mudfield, just a swamp or something similar.

But after a few steps of walking with this lighter and slightly triumphant feeling, the cold that had been spreading all over my skin suddenly pricked my bone. That was the only explanation I could give because the prickling came out of nowhere, and I had to bite my lips so I didn’t let out any sounds. I didn’t want to make Natha and Jade worry, and I didn’t want to give those old demons the satisfaction of seeing me struggle.

So I gritted my teeth and walked forward. This was nothing--just this kind of prickling pain? It was just like getting pierced by injection needles all over my body. My heart was fine, my internal organs were still working perfectly, so it wasn’t even as painful as what I was used to.

So yeah, I just shrugged it off and kept walking while getting ready for something worse, because it seemed like an upward trend with the pain level. I waited for my flesh to be seared, or my muscle to be torn, or my bone to be broken--you know, something that would make me scream--but nothing. The cold, the heaviness, and the prickling were still there, but otherwise...

Hmm...

Wasn’t this kind of easy? I was already passing through the ten-meter mark, even with the little steps I managed to do due to that heaviness.

Was this all?

My confidence soared, and I hastened my step on the bed of the lake, feeling the water rise to my waist. Let’s finish this trial as fast as possible and have some fun with Natha and my little companions later. Let’s take another walk in the garden and make another snowman, this time with the other vassals and the servants. Oh! I had to ask Izzi and Zia to build some too, or, or--oh!--a snowball fight! That would be so fun, right? I’d take a different team from Natha and make sure to throw a lot of snowballs at him--

But what if he hated it? What if he thought I wasn’t respecting him and being mean and taking advantage of how much he loved me?

No, no, no--he wouldn’t think like that, right? Well, maybe not angry or hating it, just...disappointed, maybe? Perhaps it wasn’t such a good idea to go and play just after this serious event happened. I had been making them worried so much after all, so I should show some remorse, at least.

I mean...I couldn’t deny that everything happened because of me.

Haa...perhaps things would be better if I was just a druid. Instead, not only was I a human, but I was also the one who had been slaughtering demons just last year. Did I look rather shameless earlier? Was I acting cocky just because I now knew for sure that I was the one Natha had always loved?

I should...I should have looked at it from a demon perspective, should I? What if I was a relative of the demon that Valmeier killed? Would I be able to forgive him? Wouldn’t I be scorning him too? And what? Marrying the Lord? How shameless could someone be? It was as if I was so proud of being a killer!

...yeah, I was...I was a killer, wasn’t I? I could see it so clearly, as if they were playing on the glittering surface of the lake; Valmeier’s memory. The scream of pain and misery as I swung the spear and severed their arms, their legs, their heads, their tomorrow.

I wiped my wet cheeks, walking through the lake water that looked like a screen recording of my shameful past. But was it truly shameful? Valmeier didn’t feel ashamed of what he did. He did it for a mission, for honor, and he faced all those demons with everything that he had, without even once lowering his guard or taking light of their ability. Those demons also died honorably in a war to defend their land, so to feel ashamed of fighting these demons...wouldn’t that smear the respect I had for these soldiers?

Yes, I felt sorry for them. I felt this sadness that kept making me teared up every time I saw it in my memory, which was why I told myself to never make a weapon of mass destruction. But I remembered the voices that told me I shouldn’t blame myself continuously for a war that I didn’t order or wish for; the voices of my friends and my lover.

Oh, Gods...how could I ever think that they would be angry and disappointed at me for trying to have some fun when they had been trying so hard to make my life fun and filled with happiness?

I took a deep breath and wiped my cheeks again with both hands; this time to clean them from the tears that finally stopped flowing from my eyes. The water, unknowingly, had come up to my stomach, just shy away from my chest. But the water seemed to stop showing me the painful memory and my legs kept on walking without stopping.

At this point, everything felt so calm, but also so eerie. I was in the middle of a lake surrounded by statues and bejeweled walls, and while it seemed to be bright enough from the shore, it was quite dark in the middle of the lake, because the altar’s torches still hadn’t been lit.

Why? What happened? Did this mean I failed?

But...but I was still walking, and the altar got closer and closer. Yet the flame wasn’t lit, and I desperately wanted to ask someone about this. I wanted to turn my head around and ask Natha what happened, but I was told to never look back because it would mean I gave up on the trial.

But it was so quiet and eerie that I wasn’t even sure if there were still people back there. What if I was left alone here? What if everything was just an imagination? What if it wasn’t real and everything...everything was just a dream my dying mind created to cope with the pain and the bitter end?

I reached up and smacked my cheeks hard until it left a stinging sensation.

No!

It wasn’t a dream. It wasn’t an illusion! My life, my friends, my love for Natha wasn’t an illusion. It was very much real! This warm feeling I had for him, for Jade, for Zia, for all my friends and acquaintances, there was nothing false about that.

Even if it was a dream or illusion, my feelings, my experience, and my growth were real. It was something that happened to me, happened to my soul, and therefore it should be real.

And even if it was a dream or illusion, I had no doubt, I had a firm belief that Natha would still find me there. He would find and pull me up, perhaps kidnapping me again.

Pfft--yeah, he would definitely do that, my Nightmare, my Demon Lord. The love of my life. The one I ever loved in my two life. The one I fell in love with twice. And I only ever fell in love twice in my life.

Yeah, I was sure he was there, waiting for me. He was probably worried, but I hoped he was also proud of me. Because I did for him, for us, and so I couldn’t stop walking forward, because I had to come back to him, and I wanted to come back to him as soon as possi--huh, was that a staircase?

Before I realized it, the altar was already in front of me. I blinked in surprise and felt a step below my foot. Looking up, the octagonal platform stood in its magnificence, and I could see carving along its base, some kind of exquisite reliefs.

But this wasn’t the time to observe the reliefs, no matter how beautiful they were, because I had to climb the steps and finish this trial, although the torches still weren’t lit--

Oh?

I stepped into the stairs and one of the torches was lit. I pulled my body and took another step up, and another torch lit. Another step, another flame. And by the time I reached the top of the stairs and stepped onto the platform, all the torches had been lit.

Oh, Gods...oh, Mother...

Perhaps because of the massive relief, or perhaps because of the energy I exerted to cross the cold, heavy, painful water, but the moment I reached the platform, I just slumped down to a sitting position, breathing hard as the tension was seeping out of my body.

Ha...ha ha ha...

This means I did it, right? I succeeded, right? I swallowed my laughter and sighed, smiling in exhaustion as I closed my eyes for a bit.

And when I opened my eyes, I was no longer at the altar.

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