The Demon Lord's Bride (BL)
Chapter 186: Too much information in one sitting is not good for one’s sanity

Chapter 186: Too much information in one sitting is not good for one’s sanity

Haa...

I had no idea how I should feel about this. Should I feel glad that I finally know why I suffered my whole life? Or should I get pissed at whoever made my--our--soul split like that?

There were a lot of things that need explanation, but I wasn’t sure if my brain--and more importantly my heart--could take so much in one sitting.

As I was sighing from the stuffy feelings, Natha’s hands return to envelope mine, and he leaned forward to press our forehead together.

"God--you have no idea how much I want to bring you over here that time," he said it in such a weak and vulnerable voice, in a volume that only allowed me to hear it. And then, when he spoke again, it was laden with frustration. "I knew we could look for a cure here. We can use alchemy, we can use magic, we can try everything..." he gritted his teeth for a few seconds, and then sighed. "But I didn’t know how to do that."

He pulled away--just slightly, just so we could see into each other’s eyes. "When I asked His Majesty about it, he just told me it wasn’t in his authority--it wasn’t even in the Lord’s authority."

"Oh...so you don’t know who moved my soul here?"

He simply shook his head. Ah, I thought it might be the Demon God, since he sent Natha to meet me. But then again, the one who sent my grandmother across might be another God. Hmm...

"Oh, wait--don’t tell me that the reason you have Amrita..."

At my guess, he gave me a deep, charming smile, and I couldn’t help but gasp at that.

"Well, I have to make sure we have the cure in case you haven’t healed when you get here," he shrugged.

Sir...you blackmailed--I mean, had a battle of wit--with an elf King. Don’t just say it with a shrug.

"And it turned out we really do need it," he continued, before adding with a quieter tone. "Just not in the way I thought it would be,"

"Oh, yeah..."

It wasn’t because of my broken soul, but because of the incident that damaged Valmeier’s body.

"I thought...when you finally came here, your soul would merge with the other piece and you’d become whole again,"

I looked down with a weird and uncomfortable feeling. "But that wasn’t the case..."

"That wasn’t the case," he parroted, putting his palm against my core again. "Both of your souls are inside your body, but rather than merging, they were overlapping," he explained further. "But since both pieces are in the same body anyway, it would feel like you’re whole."

"But I’m not,"

He smiled wryly. "Do you realize the Amrita had lost its healing properties?" he tilted his head, and I nodded. I used to drink Amrita every time Natha came to the Lair, and then around twice a week after moving to the Castle. But there was barely any change in my blockade these days. "It works when something bad happened to your system, but it did nothing more to the remaining of your blockage."

"That happens because my soul isn’t whole?" I raised my brow. I thought it was because my body had developed immunity to the substance.

"Most likely, yes."

Wait...

’Whole’...find me when you’re whole--could this be what the voice in my dream meant? And then I recalled another forgotten memory, this time with the cocoon-like thing in the dark space that kidnapped me.

--you’re not one yet

It said something like that too, right? I had no idea what that mean at the time, and I just forgot about it altogether. Perhaps because it was also something that was supposed to be ’censored’.

Perhaps...I would know what they were once I was...whole?

I looked at Natha, who had letting me think silently while combing my hair. "Natha, about that weird dream that I have earlier..."

"Mm?"

I told him about it. This time, I could remember most of it, unlike before. And this time, I didn’t wake up feeling scared and unsettled. Perhaps because I finally uncovered some of the ’truth’ that had been hidden from me.

"I see...then that might be it," Natha agreed with my line of thought. It was just that we had no idea ’what’ it was really. and...

"But...I don’t know how..." I looked down and sighed. Even though we knew my soul and Valmeier’s soul were still in this body, I had no idea how to ’merge’ them. I didn’t even know there was still a trace of Valmeier’s soul here.

And it was such a scary prospect, honestly.

Merge; would we have to eat the other one? Would we have to erase one of our egos?

But even disregarding that, I still had no idea how to find that piece of soul, how to find Valmeier. I mean...if he was truly there, the dude had never woken up before.

"It’s fine," Natha patted my head, rubbing the knot between my eyebrows. "We can figure it out slowly," he smiled, oh so sweetly, and whispered. "What’s important is that you’re here."

"...we’re here," I repeated, looking into his gleaming pair of moonlight, feeling like I fell into a daze.

"Yes, we are."

He repeated, with a voice that was full of certainty and reassurance. "Natha..." I whispered. "Nat," I held into his arms, fiddling with the sleeve of his nightrobe. "Were you really...did you really like me back then? Already?"

"Why would I wait for you otherwise?" he replied easily, with a tone as if I was asking for something so obvious. And then he added, looking into the ceiling. "I looked for your cure, and I found it. But I need power and capital to acquire it, so I build my wealth and become the Lord--"

"Wait--" I cut him, pulling on his sleeve and staring at him dumbfoundedly. "Wait wait wait!"

I raised my body so that my knees pressing on the mattress and my head was a bit above him, staring closer into his eyes. "You...become the Lord...for that?"

He seemed to be surprised at how I was surprised. He raised his brow at my widened eyes, but then gave me the sweetest smile.

"You don’t understand, sweetheart," he said. Both of his hands were on my neck, stroking my nape gently, lovingly. "Everything that I do, it’s with the thought of you."

I almost froze. I just stood there, looking at him with parted lips while my lungs refused to work.

"I don’t know when or how you’d come here, so I need to prepare for everything," he said, in a voice so soft and full of affection. "So that whatever condition you ended up in, I’d have enough power to make sure you’re comfortable."

I opened my lips and ended up stuttering. "But...but why?"

"Why?" he tilted his head slightly. "Why do I need a reason to make the love of my life live a comfortable life?"

I pressed my lips and tried not to let out a weird sound as my face, once again, was blazing with heat. "I mean...why do you...love me so much?"

I had never...I had never had enough courage to ask him that before, because I thought his answer would be directed to Valmeier. But even now, I found it hard to ask because...

Because I kept thinking why? Did I truly deserve this? Deserved to be loved and desired like this?

"Because you’re beautiful," he said, with the kind of certainty that made me feel like he said it as a fact.

I looked at him as of he was crazy. What kind of bullshit did this guy spout? How could he say that when he saw me all pale and sickly, skin and bone and reeked of medicine. I had stunted growth and a hunched back, and I clearly heard the nurses say I was ugly and undesirable.

But he chuckled at my flabbergasted look, and caressed my cheek as he elaborate. "You’re soul...is the most precious thing I ever laid my eyes upon."

"My...soul?" his explanation only made me feel even more confused. "But you said...it’s broken..."

"That’s why," he said, smiling deeply as he pulled me closer until my legs were straddling him. "It’s cracked, it’s broken, it’s full of scars. I can only imagine what kind of pain you were in."

He pressed his palm on my chest again, frowning slightly. "They only saw it as physical pain, but the pain you felt every day wasn’t just coming from your physical body. It was also your astral body, your soul that was in pain," he gnashed his teeth as he said all of that, and shook his head. "Do you know how heartbroken I was when I found out you ended up in the same pain again after coming here?"

Ah...so that was why he looked rather annoyed at that time. It wasn’t annoyance, but perhaps...anger? frustration?

He sighed and continued. "But sweetheart, do you know the first thing you said when I caught your fallen body that night?"

I shook my head. I was too dazed and delirious at that time. I barely remembered his face. "You said it’s beautiful; you looked at the snow and the world and said it’s beautiful," he told me the answer. "You said you were glad to be able to feel the snow, even if it’s just once,"

Ah...I did remember thinking about that. I remembered looking at all the fleeting white, and felt the warmth of his arms. And all I could think about was that it was kind of nice that I was alive at that moment, that I could live long enough to experience those sensations.

"I have never, in my life, seen such a beautiful person," he whispered. "There would be something wrong with me if I didn’t fall in love with you."

"You mean...at that time?" my eyes widened. It wasn’t that he came to like me during our interaction but...he fell for me right at that moment?

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