The Demon Lord's Bride (BL)
Chapter 137: Oh, to have a name we could call while we were crying

Chapter 137: Oh, to have a name we could call while we were crying

"I think we should call it a day," Natha said to the elves, but his eyes still looking at me, and he was still kneeling in front of my chair.

I gripped his arms, wholeheartedly agreed with his suggestion. I wanted to go back and lay down and...just...

I don’t know, my mind was such a mess.

Jade was nuzzling against my cheek, whimpering from my distress. I couldn’t even pretend to be fine, since I was visibly shaking. I knew I looked weird right now--they wouldn’t understand why I would have such an intense reaction from recognizing the picture.

And the worst part was...there was really no one who would understand. I couldn’t talk to anyone about it.

Everything around me felt like a blur, even after I became significantly calmer. I vaguely registered the elves stepping back, Lesta taking the box and the book, and Natha scooped me into his arms, carrying me back to our place. Apparently, I was shaking so much that I couldn’t stand properly, just clutching Jade with one arm and gripping Natha with another.

But truly, it was hard to think about anything else. The more I recalled the picture, the more my neck grew cold, and shivers would run through my spine.

When I was still in a state of panic earlier, I told myself that I was probably just hallucinating. Perhaps I saw the picture as my grandmother’s because of what I wished to see before--because I wished I could see my grandparents’ faces.

But then, I saw it again once when I got calmer, before Natha took me away, and it was still the same face, which got me shivering again.

Why...was this just a coincidence? I tried to think of a possibility, and thought that maybe, since I have the same face as Valmeier, our grandmother would look the same too. The author definitely never knew my grandmother, but perhaps because she fashioned Valmeier after me, the world automatically conjured up my grandmother’s face in the registry.

Or at least, that was what I thought before I was reminded of her quirkiness.

My grandfather was wealthy, and he had a huge mansion in the city. But for as long as I remembered, I never saw her in that mansion, unless it was during important events.

Despite being a loving couple, my grandparents lived separately. She always resided in that countryside villa, surrounded by nature. Even inside the villa, there were lots of potted plants and ivies. She would take me playing in the river, until she couldn’t move much and we had to resort to just watching everything from the balcony. When I stayed there, she’d read me fairy tales, told me not to judge others by hearsay, and invited me for make-believe where we pretended to be fairies and sprinkled magic around.

Much of my childhood felt blurry to me. Strangely enough, I could remember things about my grandmother quite well, and the event in the water helped me strengthen those memories. I used to think that the memory stayed with me because it was so interesting and bizarre, compare to the memory of my parents’ constant debating contest.

But now...something in the pit of my stomach told me it was something else.

That quirkiness...her tendency to avoid other people and mingle with civilization...her inclination to be as close as possible with nature--I should think she would have just lived in the wood if it wasn’t for Grandpa constantly getting worried about her health and safety.

If I saw it as a druid living on modern-day Earth, then...

At that point, I was trembling again. Fortunately, we arrived at the bedroom then, and Natha did not let go of me as he sat on the bed. He held me until I stopped shivering, gently removing Jade from my tight clutch so the little bird did not get squeezed by my hand. Only after my trembling was gone that he put me on the bed and helped me remove my outerwear.

"Would you like me here, or would you like some space?" he asked gently, caressing my hair as I lay on my side, folding my body under the blanket.

I felt Jade jump on my pillow, nuzzling my forehead and still whimpering. I took the little bird to my chest again, this time gentler. When I looked up to see Natha, my eyes glimpsed at the midnight-blue outfit I was supposed to wear tonight.

"The banquet...!"

"Don’t think about the banquet," Natha sushed me with a gentle rub over my lips. "You don’t have to come if you’re not feeling well."

"But--"

"I’d rather see you smiling in a rag than have you put on a dress with a distressed face," he stroked my cheek, understanding perfectly about my dilemma.

I knew that even if I steeled myself, I wouldn’t be able to put on a poker face, much less a bright one. I didn’t even know if I could walk out of this bedroom without tripping.

But...this banquet was the event that Natha wanted to use to introduce me to the public. Arta and those seamstresses had worked so hard to make that outfit quickly and beautifully. To let it end up being useless was...

"I’m...I’m sorry," I whispered, realizing my voice was a bit hoarse, as if it came from a choked throat.

Again, Natha was quick to seal my lips with his finger. "Sush--what are you apologizing for?"

"Just..."

"It’s just a banquet. The world wouldn’t end just because you’re not accompanying me," Natha rubbed my furrowed brows, as if trying to unfurl the knot. He added with a sigh, "If anything, it should be me that apologizes."

"...why?" I looked at him with widened eyes.

"Because I couldn’t be here with you," he frowned, stroking the flesh beneath my eyes as he looked at me with regret. "I would like to just skip the banquet--"

"No, don’t do that!" I rose quickly, sitting up on the bed while clutching his arms.

It was bad enough that I couldn’t even fulfill the simple role of being his partner at a formal event. I didn’t want him to sacrifice even his reputation by tending to me while the whole high society and foreign delegations were waiting to talk to him.

"It’s okay. It’s not like I’m sick or anything, I just--"

"You’re not sick physically," Natha cut me off with a frown. But his hardened eyes softened in the next second, as he gently rubbed my temple. "But sweetheart, do you know the most dangerous wound is the one that’s invisible?"

My lips parted for a response that couldn’t get through my throat. It died on my tongue, heavy, because I couldn’t say anything to that. After all, Natha had suffered for a long time in his youth because of that invisible wound.

When I closed my mouth again, Natha added softly. "Zidoa wouldn’t want to spend much time at the banquet anyway, so she’ll come to you as soon as possible."

"It’s..." I replied swiftly, biting my lips for a while as I contemplate the state of my mind--and my problem. "I appreciate it, but...I think I’d like to...just think by myself for now."

Even if Zia was here, or anyone really, I wouldn’t be able to say anything, couldn’t explain anything. And I would hate it if they had to miss the merry event just to take care of me, when I wasn’t even sick to begin with.

I just needed to sort out my mind.

"If you’re sure..." Natha replied hesitatingly, eyes still filled with doubt.

"Yeah. I can always call for a servant if I need anything," I nodded, trying to move my facial muscle to form a smile.

Natha was quiet for a while, just staring at me wordlessly. It was clear that he was contemplating the credibility of my claim. So I just returned his gaze as calmly as I could, to show him that I didn’t need to be babysat. Eventually, he sighed and relented. "Panne would be here too, so you just need to tell him if you want me or anyone to come, alright?"

"Alright,"

"Promise me."

Only after I mumbled ’I promise’ that Natha gave me his smile and kissed me tenderly on my forehead. He told me to take a drink and a potion, something to calm my mind and help me sleep, which I appreciated. Slowly, I drifted into sleep while Natha ceaselessly stroked my hair.

As my mind sunk into the darkness, the buried question surfaced again; what exactly was this world? Was this truly a word spawned from a novel, or was this world already existing from the start? If it was the latter, why...why was there someone who looked like me, looked like my grandmother, looked like my first love...

All the questions were swirling inside me, and before I realized it, I was floating in the darkness. Like in a dream that I had been forgetting. But this time, I wasn’t just a speck of cracked light. I had a body this time, just like the time when I get whisked away from the portal.

As if those two parts of my consciousness were merging into a confusing mess.

And the cocoon was there too, still pulsing, glowing in the darkness as if observing me.

Perhaps it was the darkness. Perhaps it was the clusterfuck of confusion messing my mind. Perhaps I was just too tired.

But I suddenly found myself crouching down, tears streaming from my eyes again, even though I had promised I would stop crying. Maybe because I knew this was a dream, I didn’t cry silently this time.

I was wailing. I wanted to call out to someone, but my tongue couldn’t find a name. I had never called for my mom or dad when I cried--at least not after they scolded me for being a spoiled crybaby. I never called for Grandpa or Grandma either, because I never cried out loud in the hospital--the nurses didn’t like it.

[Don’t cry] that voice was ringing in my head again, the light glowing dimmer as if it was feeling anguished by my crying. [You shouldn’t be sad anymore]

I didn’t stop. But my wail gradually turned into a sob. As I covered my eyes with my palm, I slowly remember whose name I wanted to shout, to call desperately.

"Na...tha..."

[Don’t cry]

The voice said for the last time, and the words turned into a blur, as if I was suddenly thrown into an invisible whirlpool.

"Na--Natha...Natha...!"

Again, I woke up with a start, gasping desperately as I called his name, clutching the blanket tightly as I tried to breathe again.

"You called me?"

Startled, I turned my face toward his voice, watching in surprise as his tall figure climbed into the bed, hand stroking my cheek.

"Why are you crying, baby?"

The silver eyes stared at me with concern, caressing my wet cheek as he asked me again in a soft voice. "Did you have a nightmare?"

Dazedly, I just nodded while inhaling the air, blinking while trying to regain my bearing. Jade was curling in its sleep on the pillow beside my scattering hair, the fire had been renewed to keep the room warm, and the sky had turned dark outside the window.

I closed my eyes again, trying to take a deeper breath and calm my mind. The soothing voice and soft fingers were still stroking my cheek tenderly. "Should I help you chase the fear away?" he asked sweetly, lips hovering against mine.

Taking a deep breath, I opened my eyes to stare at the familiar handsome face, and asked.

"Who are you?"

Search the lightnovelworld.cc website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.