The Demon Lord's Bride (BL)
Chapter 105: To brave the storm of dread and embarrassment

Chapter 105: To brave the storm of dread and embarrassment

"You’re what?"

Ah...now I know what it meant when people said the coldness of Nightmare derived from fear. I felt it like a thin prickling blizzard, belting at the surface of my nape. Natha’s voice sounded no different than his usual tone, but I felt like it was getting heavier to breathe already.

When I slowly turned my head to look at him, he was smiling slightly, but it only made the coldness in his eyes more suffocating.

Ah...I’m screwed. It was literally the only thing I could think of at that time.

"A moment," he said calmly, without removing his gaze from me, and I was petrified like a frozen fish in a blast chiller.

Wordlessly, the other demons were retreating from the greenhouse. I could feel their presence disappearing even while my eyes were trapped in Natha’s direction. The moment it was only the two of us there, Natha grabbed the armrests of my chair, and turned the whole thing around so my whole body was facing him. Easily, just like that.

My stupid natural reaction was to hiccup in fright.

Natha stared at me keenly, before tilting his head with a slight frown. "You looked scared."

Well, of course! What kind of reaction did you expect from me, my Lord?

"Why are you scared?"

Why? Did he just ask me why?

He leaned down so our eyes were at the same level, face-to-face. I could see my frightened self reflected in the silver orbs.

"You only said you were turning into water before," he said calmly, with unchanging eyes that seemed to observe every muscle in my face. "Why are you scared about revealing that to me?"

Uh-oh...because I was stupid? Yeah, that was definitely the right answer, but not one that would satisfy the Demon Lord, obviously.

He kept looking at me, but ever since he found out that I was frightened, the cold had dissipated. So I no longer felt that uncomfortable prick against my skin, but a new wave of discomfort washed over me.

Guilt.

"I...thought you’ll get angry," I said quietly. Looking at his eyes made me even more guilty about hiding what was happening that day, so I painstakingly tried to lower my gaze.

Unfortunately, the Lord was having none of that. He held my chin and kept my face lifted to face him. "Because?"

"...because..." I felt like I’d stuttered, saying it under that stern gaze. "I appeared...n-naked in front of another person..."

I could see the silver orbs shake slightly, just for a second. Someone as knowledgeable as he must have known how transmorphing into nature worked, how I would end up looking like after I changed back. And he must have known that I didn’t come to the river by myself.

I could hear him taking a deep breath, and I would like to be able to do that too. But he still held my chin up, and even though he didn’t put any restraint on me, I felt like I couldn’t move an inch.

After a minute that felt like an hour, his cold fingers left my face, and somehow, that saddened me more than it gave me relief. I lowered my head in shame--not because of the unfortunate incident of showing up naked in front of someone that wasn’t my betrothed, but because I was determined to hide it from Natha.

I didn’t think I would ever tell him about it if I hadn’t made any slip-ups.

And that was what made me the most uncomfortable. I couldn’t help but fidget anxiously, squeezing the edge of my shirt as I waited for his judgment.

The next time he spoke, he did it in a softer voice, but it almost made me jump nonetheless. "Did you do it intentionally?"

"Of course not!" I instinctively replied in a defensive, high tone. "I don’t even know that I’d be able to turn like that!"

Would I even attempt it if I knew I would end up shedding all my clothing articles in the process? No--I didn’t even know I would end up transmorph on the first try! If I knew, of course, I wouldn’t do it while knowing Doun was there.

I almost glared at Natha at the absurdity of the question. But then I remembered I was the one in the wrong, so I clammed up and bit my lips in shame, lowering my head again like a child on a time-out.

"Alright," Natha said, and I flicked my gaze up, eyes widened in surprise. "Then that’s all that mattered."

"...really?" even as I made a reply, I still couldn’t believe it.

"Why, do you want me to be angry for real?" he smiled and tilted his head. That was when I knew he really forgave me.

I wasn’t completely relieved yet, though. "But...you won’t get angry at Doun too...right?" I asked him carefully, gripping my now crumpled shirt tightly.

"Well, that depends," Natha answered while tapping on his armrest, which...wasn’t really a positive sign.

"Depends?"

He turned his head to look outside the window, and it might be a coincidence, but it was toward the direction of the Lair. His eyes gleamed darkly for a bit, before he responded to my question. "On whether he kept thinking about it or not."

Uhh--that...I wouldn’t be able to help with that, Doun, please forgive me. But if the demon really saw nothing as he said, he should be safe, right?

I had no leeway to worry too much about another person though, because Natha suddenly leaned forward and pulled my chair closer again, until my knees were locked between his legs. I looked up with a gasp, and that stern gaze was back on the silver eyes, trained fully at me.

"But you’re wrong about the reason for my anger," Natha said suddenly, when I was still trying to calm my beating heart. I didn’t even have time to think about it, just frowning confusedly in response.

"...wrong?"

"I wasn’t angry because of that kind of petty reason," he told me, almost sounding offended that I thought so lowly of him.

"Then?"

Natha let out a sigh, and then took my fidgeting hands on his own. The coldness of his palm seeped into my clammy ones, and I was immediately feeling calmer, like a surge of coolant dousing my flaming vein. It might be his cold temperature, or simply because he held my hands, gently, putting my mind at ease.

"Val," he said softly, but my heart jolted as if I was about to get scolded for being naughty. "Do you know what usually happened to young druids when they transmorph for the first time?"

Oh...I understood it now.

"They...got swept away and...lost themselves," I bit my lips once I realized the severity of the problem. And realizing that was the reason behind Natha’s anger, again, put me to shame. "I’m...uh...sorry," even making an apology felt lacking.

"For?" he asked, patiently. But there was bubbling frustration beneath his calm. And fear. Anxiety. Worry.

"For...endangering myself."

His hold on my hands tightened at that point, and my breath got caught as I lifted my head to look at him again.

"You were lucky, you know that?" he said with a stern voice that hid a slight trembling. "You somehow found your bearing," he continued, each word full of tension. "There’s a reason why young druids only do their training under surveillance."

"But, I wasn’t alone," I replied, just trying to lessen his worry, really. But he sighed while gripping my wrists.

"Doun is not a druid," he spoke heavily, as if restraining himself from yelling emotionally. I could see it in his hardened eyes, though, his anger. "The most he could do is call out for you and call me if things go wrong."

There was a slight growl beneath his strained voice, and his tightening hold prompted me to frantically nod. "Okay..." I winced slightly as the grip started to feel too much. "Okay, I’m sorry. I--I won’t...I won’t do that again..."

Natha paused for a second before releasing his grip hurriedly with a start. He immediately took my hands again though, this time rubbing my wrists with his thumb. They weren’t bruised or anything, but he did it gently, carefully, while shaking his bowed head.

"No, it’s not your fault," he said with a sigh. "I should have warned you from the start. It appears that I underestimate your talent too much."

He stopped rubbing and instead, brought my hands into his face. In an instinctual reaction, I grasped his face in my palm, and he closed his eyes while leaning on them. "I’m not saying you can’t develop yourself," he turned his head and pressed his lips on my palm, looking so tender while doing so, as if the blizzard I felt earlier was nothing but an illusion. "But for this, I want you to do it only with me around," the silver eyes opened and they trained at me again. "Or wait until I find a proper teacher for you, okay?"

"Yeah," I nodded in agreement, stroking his cheek with my thumb. But then, I recalled how nice and perfect the upstream creek was for training, and I bit my lips slightly before asking quietly. "But can I go there again?"

"Val..."

"Umm...I think, as long as I’m not physically touching the water source, I won’t turn," I looked into his eyes with confidence, giving him a reason. I knew it was shameless of me to ask about it when he was just displaying his worry about my safety, but...

He returned my gaze, looking deep into my eyes, rubbing the back of my hands, and feeling the pulse in my wrists with his thumb. After--probably--determining that I wasn’t bullshitting my ass out, he let out another sigh.

"I’ll ask around first. I’ll allow it if that’s really the case," he said finally, taking my hands down from his face and instead, pulling my arms so I stumbled forward into his lap. "So wait first, okay?"

I climbed into his chair so I could properly sit in my usual place and nodded obediently. "Mm, okay!"

He circles my waist and pulled me closer so he could kiss me. And just like that, the heavy and uncomfortable feeling in my heart disappear. Again, I promised myself that I would try to be more honest with him. I still couldn’t possibly tell him about my transmigration, or anything related to that, but other than that...I promised to not hide things from him.

It felt much better after we talked about it, even though I needed to face dread, anxiety, and embarrassment for that. But it was alright, since what awaited me was warmth and sweetness.

"At any rate, good job," Natha said after we parted our lips, while combing my slightly messed-up hair.

"Huh?"

"At least you know that you’re not supposed to let other people see your body."

"Of course I know something like that!" I snapped again in reflex, feeling defensive. "Do I look like an exhibitionist or something?" I frowned deeply and hit his shoulder. How dare he assumed my virgin ass to be that indecent!

"Ha ha--no," the Demon Lord infuriatingly laughed at my response. "But you are quite dense sometimes, sweetheart, It kind of worries me..."

"I do not!" I yelled in response, but looking at his helpless expression, I pressed my lips and fidgeted slightly, fumbling with one of his coat buttons. "...do I really?"

He nodded without hesitation. "Mm,"

Damnit! I wasn’t dense! Just...

"I...I’m just ignorant of things, okay?" I pursed my lips and sighed helplessly.

I mean...what could I do? I was someone who spent my entire life in a hospital bed. My knowledge about the outside world was limited to what I could get from the internet or movies. And it was only the kind that could be safely accessed in public. Things like social interaction and norms, which could only be truly understood by real experience, were something that was out of reach.

That was, of course, including dating and such.

"I don’t have much experience and all, so..."

"Okay, I get it," he laughed and pecked my pursing lips slightly. "Don’t sulk, mm?"

Haa...how annoying.

But at least, things turned out to be fine, right?