The Creatures That We Are
Chapter 1244: Meaningless yet Beautiful

Chapter 1244: Meaningless yet Beautiful

The Lunar New Year’s Eve was suddenly upon them. Most of them had chosen to return to their mundane lives, and thus they naturally spent the holidays with their friends and families.

Those who no longer had that—Gao Yang, Qing Ling, Vermilion Bird, Liao Liao, Adept Horse, Nainai, Lovely Lamb, Wang Weiyan, Heavenly Dog, and Gregor—moved into the Spectres’ Mansion one day early to spend the Lunar New Year with White Dew.

While Gao Yang had never said a word about Fresh Snow, her fate was now an open secret.

The answer was evident to them when White Dew visited three months after Gao Yang fell unconscious, but without her sister.

The fact that Fresh Snow didn’t join the Battle of the Curtain Call raised questions. And she never visited Gao Yang even once when he was in a coma in the aftermath of it? It didn’t make sense.

When White Dew left Gao Yang’s ward that day, Liao Liao mustered the courage to ask her about it in a roundabout way, on behalf of everyone.

White Dew had been surprised. “Fresh Snow passed away a long time ago. Has Gao Yang not told you?”

Then she smiled wryly and added, “Right. It’s difficult for those who lost a cat to move on.”

Liao Liao didn’t expect the calm acknowledgment and didn’t know what to say. Instead, White Dew comforted her with a smile:

“Don’t be sad. Fresh Snow had a short but happy life. She was able to be herself from beginning to end.”

That night, Liao Liao uncharacteristically invited others to a drink. Many joined. Some got drunk, others cried.

Today, they all rose early to help put on the couplets and clean the mansion. White Dew and Gao Yang, the chefs, busied about in the kitchen with Vermilion Bird and Adept Horse as their sous chefs. During their group lunch, Vermilion Bird put food on everyone’s plate, refilled their bowls with rice, and poured them drinks like a matriarch—despite her youthful appearance, she had a motherly smile on her face.

In the afternoon, they had tea in the front yard under the warm sunlight. Then, when the sun was most beautiful while setting, they had a group photo.

They had dumplings for dinner.

Like the previous Lunar New Year, Gao Yang and the others put on an act and made sure Lovely Lamb and Wang Weiyan were the lucky ones to eat the dumplings with coins inside. The girls were beside themselves with joy. While they made a wish with their eyes closed, the others hurriedly swapped the dumplings and erased the tracks.

After that, Vermilion Bird gave everyone red envelopes.

It was Gregor’s first time getting a packet in forever; he wasn’t sure if he should be happy or sad.

Having finished their dumplings, Liao Liao and Heavenly Dog did the dishes in the kitchen, and the others sat on the couch with the television turned on, waiting for the New Year Gala to start.

Lovely Lamb and Wang Weiyan got antsy and begged to play with fireworks as soon as the night fell. Vermilion Bird and White Dew couldn’t say no; they went to the backyard with the girls to light up some sparklers.

When their laughter rang out, Nainai couldn’t help but join them. She descended from the sky with sparklers in her hands like a fairy visiting the mortal world. The two girls screamed in excitement.

“Wanna fly?” Nainai puffed out her chest.

“Yeah!”

“Then raise your voice and make the request to Empress Nainai!”

“Empress Nainai, I wanna fly!”

“Empress Nainai, me too!”

“Hmph, since you’ve asked so earnestly, this Empress will grant you your wish out of my merciful heart!”

She brought the two girls off their feet with Gale. The three of them twirled around in the sky, each holding two sparklers, forming a beautiful wreath of sputtering sparks.

Gao Yang’s double was watching the New Year Gala in the living room, but the real him was drinking alone on the rooftop out of a small flask—it had belonged to War Tiger.

The sparkling fireworks cast scintillating light on his face, illuminating the frost of sorrow in his quiet, sad eyes.

The metal door to the rooftop creaked open. Then someone sat down beside Gao Yang.

Gregor, wearing a bulky cotton jacket and an eyepatch, shook a cigarette out of a pack and lit it on his cybernetic hand. With the cigarette dangling in his mouth, he looked at the three “fairies” in the backyard with narrowed eyes.

Cold wind crept into his collars with the thick smell of the smoke. Gregor hissed and put on the hood of his jacket, hunching for warmth.

They stayed silent, one smoking and the other drinking.

After a while, Liao Liao and Heavenly Dog joined the circle of fun organized by Nainai. The backyard bustled with more voices. Nainai kept gesturing at the others to create a more extravagant formation with the fireworks.

Gregor looked at the bundle of joy that was Lovely Lamb and lamented, “Old Zhu would be so happy if he could see her now.”

Gao Yang nodded.

He asked quietly, “Have you finished your novel?”

“Yeah.” Gregor shook off some ash from his cigarette. “Sooner than I expected.”

“How is it?”

“Not much.” Gregor’s eyebrows twitched with what could be disappointment or self-mockery. “Anticlimactic.”

“You feel that after finishing your masterpiece?” Gao Yang joked.

“It’s not a masterpiece, but just a piece. I thought it would be the greatest thing since white bread, but it’s shit once I finish it. You can’t turn shit into gold no matter how much you edit it.”

Gao Yang looked up at the night sky. “It’s okay. The process matters more than the result.”

“Haha, don’t try to comfort me.” Gregor grinned. “I used to think the process was more important, but not now.”

“Is that so?”

“Neither the process nor the result matters. What matters is the illusion.”

Gao Yang turned to him. “I don’t get it.”

Gregor took off his hood and braced against the cold wind. “For example, I felt amazing when I was writing the novel. I thought I was doing the greatest thing in the world for self-actualization and transcendence of eternity. I moved myself beyond measure. After I finished writing and calmed down, I realized that it was all a laughable illusion.”

Gregor looked down and put out the cigarette under his feet.

“Life may not be the beginning, and death may not be the end. But what comes between life and death is for certain a grand illusion—a worthless yet beautiful construct.”

He put another cigarette into his mouth.

“Yet I still love it.”

“Is that your answer?” Gao Yang asked.

“For now.” Gregor stood up and dusted his pants. “Once you have your answer, feel free to seek me out. Let’s have a heart-to-heart and exchange of materials.”

“Okay.”

Gao Yang watched Gregor leave. Then the wind carried a familiar fragrance to him.

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