Ten Thousand Soul Banner: Deceased, do you have any unfulfilled wishes?
Chapter 191: The Past of the Past

Chapter 191: Chapter 191: The Past of the Past

The next morning.

Shen Siyuan got up early, bought breakfast, then cycled to the company.

But Ruan Hongzhuang was still sound asleep, not yet awake.

However, Shen Siyuan’s trip to the company wasn’t for work; he took another day off.

Because he had an appointment today with Song Meixian and others.

At this time, Zhao Ru Jin had also returned to Ruijin with his father, Zhao Dezhu.

The early morning sunlight streamed in through the car window, and Zhao Dezhu looked blankly at his son’s young face.

Still with a childish look, yet his expression seemed particularly mature, which made Zhao Dezhu slightly uncomfortable inside; at his age, he should be lively and innocent.

"Zhou Zhou," Zhao Dezhu reached out to hold his son’s small hand.

"What’s wrong?" Zhao Ru Jin looked back at him, puzzled.

"Do you hate your mother?" asked Zhao Dezhu.

Zhao Ru Jin first nodded, then shook his head.

"I used to hate her, despise her, but now, not anymore, she’s my mom," said Zhao Ru Jin.

Then he turned back to look at Zhao Dezhu, "Dad, you shouldn’t hate mom either, she really loves you."

"I... I know..."

Zhao Dezhu felt many words stuck in his throat, unable to come out, so they choked in his chest, causing an indescribable pain.

It took a good while for Zhao Dezhu to speak again: "Is your mother doing okay?"

When Zhao Ru Jin was still alive, they could get updates about each other through him.

After Zhao Ru Jin died and Zhao Dezhu returned from the funeral, the two completely lost contact.

"She... she’s about to die..." said Zhao Ru Jin in a choked voice, wiping away tears.

"What?" Zhao Dezhu was startled by his words.

He really didn’t know about this.

"Mom has attempted suicide several times, even though... she was saved each time, the doctors say she has mental issues, and she’s always dazed every day..."

"Grandma says she probably won’t live much longer, grandma is very sad too..."

"It’s all my fault, I ruined mom..."

...

Zhao Ru Jin sobbed softly, causing the driver in the front to frequently glance back.

"Zhou Zhou, don’t cry, it’s okay, we’ll go to see her now, everything will get better..."

Zhao Dezhu’s eyes also started to redden, he didn’t know why things had come to this.

He remembered his wife when she was young, how she resolutely quit her good job for him, leaving her hometown...

He remembered when they first came to Bin Hai, living in a shabby rental house, walking a long way to save money on groceries, to improve his meals...

He remembered that they could give up everything for each other.

But why, as life got better, did they end up in this state?

Did his wife change? Or did he change?

Perhaps both, perhaps neither.

What changed was society.

Stepping out of the car, Zhao Dezhu looked somewhat dazed at the alley ahead.

Zhao Ru Jin quietly explained, "After mom got sick, she moved here to live with grandma."

Zhao Dezhu knew his son must have misunderstood; his trance was because he remembered the time when he was young, sending his ex-wife Zhou Congfang back home.

Thinking about it now, it’s still vivid in his memory, but why couldn’t he remember it before, or did he intentionally forget?

"Yes, I understand, let’s go," said Zhao Dezhu, taking Zhao Ru Jin’s hand, heading into the alley.

One side of the alley was lined with a white wall, enclosing a piece of wasteland that was said to be developed for housing construction, but over the tens of years, there hadn’t been any sign of activity, and it had become overgrown with weeds.

On the other side were various shops, supermarkets, pharmacies, and grocery stores selling grains, oils, and rice.

Everything seemed the same, yet everything seemed to have changed.

The shops were still those shops, but the shopkeepers had aged, and the signs above the doors had become even more worn.

He had passed by a few times before, but it seemed he had never really noticed these details.

Walking further in for about fifteen minutes, he reached Zhao Ru Jin’s grandmother’s house.

An aged neighborhood, with the minute you enter, a sense of the era enveloping you.

Low shrubs, grey-white concrete walls, red tiles—it felt as though you’ve stepped back into the eighties or nineties, where time also seemed to slow down.

Maybe it was a change of mindset, but Zhao Dezhu started to enjoy this calm passage of time.

After entering the neighborhood, Zhao Ru Jin let go of Zhao Dezhu’s hand, seemingly impatient as he walked ahead.

He even kept looking back to urge Zhao Dezhu to hurry.

But upon reaching the doorstep, Zhao Ru Jin stopped.

"What’s wrong?" Zhao Dezhu asked.

"Just barging in like this, I might scare mom," Zhao Ru Jin said.

"Dad, you go see mom first, talk to her, then I’ll see her," Zhao Ru Jin spoke, his figure fading before his eyes.

Zhao Dezhu opened his mouth, wanting to say that you are her son, how could she be afraid of you, but recalling his own initial reaction, he found himself at a loss for words.

Glancing at his empty right hand, Zhao Dezhu approached the building and pressed the elevator button.

The apartments here were part of a resettlement project, with poor quality housing and shoddy property management; the corridors were cramped, and the elevator was extremely dim.

But all of this gave Zhao Dezhu a feeling that was extremely familiar yet very alien.

Familiar because back in Ruijin, he used to frequently visit his father- and mother-in-law’s place for meals.

His father-in-law was a kind and cheerful man, but unfortunately passed away too early, before Zhou Zhou was born, something Zhao Dezhu always regretted.

At this moment, his mind seemed to become extraordinarily clear.

Before the divorce, why hadn’t he moved his mother-in-law to Bin Hai to live with them?

If his mother-in-law had been there to mediate, maybe they wouldn’t have come to such a pass, and Zhou Zhou might not have...

His wife seemed to have mentioned this before. What had he said back then? He could no longer recall, but in the end, his mother-in-law had never moved in with them.

His wife must have been very disappointed at the time...

Thinking about it, he truly wasn’t worth a damn...

The sound of the elevator doors opening snapped him out of his reverie.

Zhao Dezhu took a deep breath and quickly stepped out just as the elevator doors were about to close.

Since the buildings in this neighborhood were all laid out with two elevators serving four apartments each, Zhao Dezhu exited the elevator and looked left and right, eventually remembering that his mother-in-law’s place was the furthest to the left.

At the entrance was a cumbersome security iron door covered with a mesh screen, so dusty from a lack of cleaning that its original color was indiscernible.

Rumor had it that this security door was hand-welded by his father-in-law. Although his father-in-law didn’t have a high level of education, he was highly skilled with his hands, and many things at home were built by him.

There was also a sharp knife he had made from a saw blade at home. His ex-wife had once joked that if he ever let her down, she would use that knife to end her own life...

Upon this thought, Zhao Dezhu’s lips trembled slightly.

He stiffened his neck and swallowed saliva before slowly raising his hand to knock on the iron door.

"Who is it?" an elderly voice asked from inside.

Then the wooden door behind it opened.

A small, frail figure with a head full of white hair appeared before his eyes.

"Mom~"

PS: One more Chapter~ feeling a bit dizzy~