Switched Life:I Went Viral on a Family Variety Show
Chapter 162: Right There, The Pythagorean Theorem

Chapter 162: Chapter 162: Right There, The Pythagorean Theorem

The moment Qin Jiaxiang’s pants tore apart, Song Shiye and Sang Chuan completely ignored the bamboo they were holding, their mouths and eyes wide open in shock.

This is it. They’ve really messed up this time!

[I mean, are you two carving out prawn veins for Director Qin or something?]

[Sang Chuan and Song Shiye just redefined the contemporary Pythagorean theorem.]

[Director Qin’s dignity is still dignity, alright! This shame will probably haunt him for life.]

[I hereby announce that Director Qin has acquired a new magnum opus—red-bottomed floral-patterned briefs (doge emoji).]

Qin Jiaxiang felt a chill on his rear and turned around, bewildered and at a loss.

The moment he turned, Sang Chuan and Song Shiye performed a perfect "sliding kneel," raising their hands high above their heads as they bowed deeply to the ground, endlessly performing ceremonial kowtows before him.

With frantic desperation, they cried loudly for mercy, "Director Qin, we were wrong! Please, spare our lives considering we are young and ignorant!"

Qin Jiaxiang’s brain was still frozen—he simply couldn’t grasp what was happening.

His gaze trailed downward, and when he caught sight of that glaring patch of red, his aging eyes rolled back, nearly fainting on the spot.

He bit his lip tightly, glancing at the two young men kneeling in full prostration before him.

His expression was exceedingly complicated: humiliation, resentment, the urge to die, and the desire to drag others down with him...

Ah! Why hasn’t this wretched world collapsed yet?

Qin Jiaxiang’s face flushed bright red. Instinctively, he wanted to use both hands to cover the tear on his backside.

Yet, the moment his hands left their original task, the bamboo he had been holding lost its support and immediately started to tip toward his feet.

Qin Jiaxiang’s eyes widened, his heart leapt to his throat, but it was already too late to stop the fall.

The air in front of him was sliced clean by the bamboo. Qin Jiaxiang felt a fleeting, chilling brush pass by a certain crucial part of his anatomy.

He secretly breathed a sigh of relief. Thank goodness. Barely, barely avoided disaster.

No harm, no foul! No harm, no foul!

"Ah!!!"

His relief lasted less than a second before the bamboo slammed heavily onto the top of his foot, synchronizing perfectly with his scream.

From the other side of the bamboo, Qin Kai anxiously shouted, "Dad, are you okay?"

Qin Jiaxiang kept screeching as he cupped his right foot in both hands, hopping wildly like a rooster in a duel—left, right, forward, backward, all over the place in a frenzy.

In the moments Qin Jiaxiang got his foot smashed, Song Shiye and Sang Chuan were still down on the ground kowtowing, perfectly missing the spectacle.

When they finally looked up, they took in Qin Jiaxiang’s hyperactive movements—jumping around chaotically—and were utterly dumbfounded.

Did Director Qin suddenly go mad?

"Director Qin, do you want to play rooster dueling or something? I’ll join you!" Sang Chuan, the first to regain his clarity, blurted out.

Then he stood up from the ground, immediately lifting his right leg as he mimicked a classic rooster-dueling posture, hopping toward Director Qin.

Song Shiye stared, wide-eyed and frozen. Could it be that only childlike games, brimming with innocence, could soothe the trauma caused by the sting of bright-red briefs?

Clueless to the logic, Song Shiye decided to follow Sang Chuan’s lead without hesitation.

And so, after a mere second of hesitation, he promptly got up, raised his right leg, and hopped toward Director Qin as well. "Director Qin, I’ll join too!"

[God watched in silent despair; Buddha shed tears of grief. Poor Director Qin—in barely a few minutes, he’s had his soul crushed three times over.]

[Director Qin: Why don’t you just finish me off once and for all already? It’s not like I can face the world anymore.]

[Sang Chuan and Song Shiye are the ultimate representation of "as long as you aren’t embarrassed, someone else will want to die." Honestly, Director Qin might genuinely want to die.]

Qin Jiaxiang became a literal pinball between them. Song Shiye bumped him to the left; Sang Chuan sent him ricocheting back to the right.

The twin assaults, both physically and emotionally, nearly shattered Qin Jiaxiang into pieces. At last, he was practically crying as he shouted, "Get out! Just get out—all of you!"

"Director Qin, no problem. This request is totally doable." Sang Chuan immediately lowered his right foot, collapsed onto the ground, rolled onto his side, and started rolling away with vigorous effort.

Huh? Song Shiye paused briefly, confused. Was that really what Director Qin meant?

Song Shiye’s second-guessing lasted only a moment. Seeing how Sang Chuan had rolled away without hesitation, he followed suit—falling to the ground and rolling out of sight.

[Alright, I now officially decree: Sang Chuan and Song Shiye are hereby prohibited from appearing together. It’s a health hazard for television.]

[Coconut, apologize to Director Qin right now. I swear Song Shiye meant no harm—it’s all Sang Chuan’s fault. Director Qin, just settle your score with Sang Chuan and leave Song Shiye out of it.]

[Director Qin: It’s too late now. No apology will suffice. From now on, Song Shiye can forget about entering the film industry—death awaits if he dares try.]

**

An hour later, the Embroidery Room received a surprising visitor.

And their state when entering was frankly quite shocking.

"Director Qin, are you alright?" Chu Xi was first to rise and greet him.

As someone who planned to survive long-term in showbusiness, it was always wise to build good relations with people like Qin Jiaxiang.

The others also stared, stunned—Qin Jiaxiang’s state was far too pitiful.

He sat slumped in a wheelchair being pushed inside, his entire body hanging limply like someone who had lived through centuries of hardships. His expression screamed existential despair.

His right foot was wrapped in a mummy-like bundle of gauze—looking both wretched and oddly comedic.

When he saw Chu Xi, any remaining flickers of light in Qin Jiaxiang’s eyes dimmed further. He wished only to fade into background. Could Chu Xi just not draw attention to him?

Qin Jiaxiang turned to signal the staff member pushing him to leave, then wheeled himself inside, bypassing Chu Xi as he muttered faintly, "Carry on with whatever you were doing. Don’t mind me."

His tone wasn’t particularly polite. Although Chu Xi maintained a smiling face, internally, she cursed him quietly.

Serves the old geezer right! Karma for acting all high and mighty!

The room held several spare embroidery frames. Qin Jiaxiang’s gaze locked onto a secluded corner, and he wheeled himself resolutely toward it.

"Director Qin, why aren’t you up in the mountains chopping wood or bamboo? What’s brought you to the Embroidery Room?" Sang Ning couldn’t curb her curiosity, even with Chu Xi’s cautionary example fresh in mind. She stepped forward to engage him.

"I’m here to learn embroidery with all of you." Though Qin Jiaxiang’s tone remained frosty, at least his reply to Sang Ning wasn’t as curt.

Chu Xi silently shot daggers with her eyes again. What kind of injury did this old fart suffer earlier that didn’t finish him off completely?

[I’m dying of laughter—Director Qin might be the most tragic guest in televised history. First his foot gets smashed, now he’s reduced to fiddling with embroidery. Look at these dizzying highs and terrifying lows of life.]

[Director Qin’s injury isn’t even severe—he deliberately had his foot wrapped like that, hoping to dodge manual labor. Who could’ve predicted Qin Kai would assign embroidery instead, reasoning that handwork alone was ideal rehab for his injury while keeping him occupied.]

[Qin Kai is absolutely ruthless—why are the program’s "safety shorts" so utterly ineffective? Director Qin just wanted to hide from the crowd to alleviate his soul-crushing awkwardness, yet Qin Kai the safety-short whisperer completely missed his dad’s hints.]

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